Swing State

by Michael T. Fournier

  There was no okay.

  He tried to calm himself, but was crying so hard he could barely see. He felt the ghost imprints of her fingers and nails in his tietz. And the ghost of her hand on his boner.

  But that wasn’t the worst of it.

  He knew he was unable to act.

  No matter the brand of humiliation inflicted on him, he could not stand up for himself.

  He could not fight back.

  He was only able to be acted upon. Not to act.

  Always a defenseman, never a striker.

  He was powerless.

  The interception had been a fluke.

  So was his dad, after the game. There was no way he could stop his father.

  Or Dixon Dove.

  Or the kids at school.

  A breaking sound, but controlled. A tearing.

  His nostrils filled with sweetness.

  He felt a thick liquid sensation atop his head.

  “There,” she said. “You’ll have the bottle for your dad.”

  22.

  HIS FIRST QUESTION: HOW DO YOU know Sheila?

  Couldn’t say I don’t know her. Which was the truth. So he said the other truth: she’s my friend’s boss. Artie Travers. Know him?

  Ahmed shook his head. I do not. But I know Sheila. I trust her.

  Weird. The whole thing. Getting an interview. With this guy.

  But he was nice. Smiling. Gave him a bottle of water. Smelled like cologne. Shiny button-up shirt.

  Not many people were nice like this. Sheila, Artie, Pattersons. Pretty much it.

  So:

  Roy, why did you decide to join our military?

  Finished high school. No money for college. A chance to see the world. Thought about the GI Bill. Not for me. No good at school. Like cars. Trucks. Working on them. Over there. Want to stick with it. Might like it. Always happy doing it.

  Thought about Artie, Sheila. Didn’t say might want to work at a real garage later.

  A Purple Heart?

  Said, wounded. Leg. Got sent back. No permanent damage.

  You are very fortunate, my friend.

  They all said that. All of them. Sometimes “my brother.” But same thing. Always wanted to say you’re not my friend. We just met. But never did.

  I am.

  Be even more fortunate if this job works out. From an Afghani guy. What would Peck think? Probably that it was funny. Sense of humor. Took a crap in a paper bag once. Came back with the mail. Here you go, guys. Passed everything out. Sweeney didn’t even notice there was no address. No nothing. Just a paper bag. Opened it. Oh man, someone took a shit in a bag! It’s because I give a shit, Peck said. They all laughed. Now you can’t say I never gave you shit, because I did. What do you think of that?

  Funny. Sweeney. They liked him okay. Didn’t know what happened to him. Tour must be over. Never heard back. Tried. Email. PalCorral. Go to the library. Try again.

  Ahmed said I am very fortunate too, my friend. I came here on a student visa in the seventies. I completed an MBA at the University of New Hampshire. It took several years to accrue enough capital to begin working for myself.

  Impressed by that, accrue. His English was real good.

  I saw that automobiles were an excellent opportunity. People will always need them. So I decided that a business that worked to maintain them would be very wise. And good for the community. When people know there is an honest businessman in the community, there is one less thing to worry about. This is why I have decided to open a new franchise in Wilburton. People have come to trust my business. They drive miles to get their oil changed. I will provide the same high level of service there in a more convenient fashion.

  Liked talking to him. Wanted to ask questions. About what it was like. Almost asked when the Russia war started, before or after. He knew he should know. Should remember. Couldn’t. They talked about it in training. History. Easier to remember it there. Different groups. Factions. Couldn’t remember them. Never used them any more. Faded. Like in high school. French. Took it because Auntie Blake told him to. She said it’s a better decision than Spanish, Roy. In case you want to go to Canada. No use going to Mexico, with their drug war. French is a much better decision. He got Ds. Hard to speak it. He could understand Ms. LaPierre sometimes. But couldn’t remember now.

  So I have not been directly involved, Ahmed said. I have watched from afar. I feel strongly for all those involved. It pains me to see such conflict. I am grateful to the United States military for the aid they have provided toward restoring peace to the region. I thank you for your service.

  You’re welcome.

  When might you be able to start?

  Right away, he said. Hoped he didn’t sound too excited. Wanted to get a job. Felt stupid sitting all the time. The house kept getting colder. Heat. Oil. Six hundred bucks a tank. Called them up. Said can I get fifty gallons? Minimum of a hundred. We have to fill the truck. Get it out there. Smallest order we can do. He didn’t have the money. Still waiting for his check. Get the job, fill the tank. Tenants downstairs used theirs. That helped. Floor felt warm under his feet in the morning. But not enough. Wanted them to turn it up. Like ninety.

  You will have a two week training period. This will pay minimum wage. Once you have completed training your pay will be twelve dollars an hour. This is our starting rate. From there you will be reviewed every six months. You will have the opportunity to become a supervisor if you are good at the job and a position opens up. There may be more expansion depending on the success of the Wilburton location. We would like to open another branch in Haughton.

  Okay, he said.

  Good money. Not have to worry. Fill the tank. Get a second beer every time. Listen, Patterson, I have a job now. But she was okay. Hadn’t let the kid know he played pool. Liked that. He’d give her a better tip. Buy her a beer.

  He could save. Get a new place. A lease. They gave deposits back. Investment in the future. Sounded good. Look around. Get a car. Hopefully work, routine, no headache. Easy. Bike for sure. Go see Artie after work. After they finished their shifts. At their garages. Compare notes. Swap stories. Drink beers. Sounded great.

  Ahmed tapped his phone. Nice one. Touch screen. He could get one. Drop the prepaid. Never carried it. No one called. But he could find out about the Sox. Pats. Read the box scores. Not go to the library so much.

  Today is Thursday, Ahmed said. You will start Monday. Except it sounded like a question. Monday?

  I can do Monday. Thought it sounded good. Important. Like he had other things to set aside.

  The Auto Emporium opens at eight, Ahmed said. Please be here at seven thirty. Luis and Mark will show you around.

  You will need to bring your documentation for paperwork. W-2. I-9.

  Forgot about that stuff. Been a while. Enlistment. Before that the mill. Trays in boxes all day. Took years to get promoted. Bags. But the other mills closed. Seniority. Got bumped. Couldn’t find anything. Over and over. Before, since. Applications.

  Have to find his birth certificate. Blank next to father. Social security card. Military ID. Not sure what else.

  Ahmed stood. Stuck his hand out. The cologne smell again, stronger. Thank you, Roy, he said. I’m sure you will be a great employee.

  He stood. I’m sure I will be, too. Thank you, Ahmed.

  He looked around the office. Clean. But not tidy. Piled papers. Nice enough. Felt himself smiling.

  Walked out to the lobby. Big TV, magazines.

  He’d get a drink. To celebrate. Except no place in town was open. Patterson’s wouldn’t be until later. The Bellweather closed while he was overseas. Sad about that. Never got to go. Remembered he could smell it when he walked by on the way to the mill job. Old beers and hamburger patties. Urinal pucks. Thought he’d go when he turned twenty-one. But he never did. Stabbing. Drug deal. Oxy. Boards over the windows.

  He walked downtown. Asian place. Didn’t like it. And food at home. Rice. Beans. Ramen.

  But the Pattersons’
other place. Ice cream. Couldn’t remember the last time he had any. Liked it. Never bought it. Too expensive.

  Checked his wallet. Six bucks. Enough for a few beers. Or a cone. Check coming soon. Had a job. Could play some pool. Make some money. Deserved it. Finally had a job.

  The Double Scoop.

  Went in. Recognized him right away, writing in a notebook. The fat kid. No paint. But still.

  Patterson behind the counter. Smiled. Hello, Roy, she said. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in here before.

  Never been, Roy said. First time.

  Thanks for coming! What would you like?

  I don’t know.

  Chocolate or vanilla?

  Had those before. And strawberry. Didn’t want those. Something new. Like a beer during the day. To celebrate.

  I just got a job, he said.

  No kidding! Where?

  Auto Emporium.

  Ahmed, Patterson said. He’s a good guy. Comes in a lot. He brings his kids.

  He has kids?

  Yes, she said.

  It surprised him. Didn’t know why. Plenty of them did. Overseas they were everywhere. Peck. Why would these fucking people bring more mouths into this miserable world? Not enough food to go around. Fucking animals. Never heard of a condom before. Or pulling out. It’s not Allah’s way or some shit. Or maybe they’re just stupid.

  What does he get?

  Something different every time.

  He looked at the flavors on the chalkboard. Rum raisin. Butter crunch. Berry blast.

  Pick out something new for me, he said. Something I’ve never had.

  23.

  THAT GUY GARY IS NO BIG deal.

  He was looking at my ass and tits especially the whole shift, but except for this one time his hand kinda brushed my ass when he was walking by, it was fine.

  Besides, he had me on register. The last thing. I think I’m gonna get stuck there a lot because I’m fast. That’s what he told me at the end of the shift when he had me come into his office. Dalton heard him ask me to come in and rolled his eyes.

  People are weird. Like they haven’t been to Burger Hut a million times. They stand there and try to figure out what to order even though they’ve been there for five minutes looking at the menu the whole time. I’m waiting at the register with all these buzzers going off in the back while they stand there. A couple of times I started over toward the fry machine without thinking about it and was like hah, whoops, I’m on register. Then another buzzer would go off while the same person stood there, still trying to decide.

  It was like that all day. And questions.

  That’s how it happened. I was on register and this lady came up and said what are your healthy dietary alternatives? I wanted to be like lady, you’re in Burger Hut, there are no healthy alternatives, so just get a Downtown Deluxe. But instead I was like the Salad Supremo is very healthy. She said I was thinking more burger than salad. I said I wasn’t sure. And Gary walked by. He said something about the Lean Supreme being the most health-conscious choice, and would she like to try one on the house? She said that would be delightful. Just like that: that would be delightful.

  So when I finished the shift, Gary asked me into his office and Dalton was like good luck. I went in. It’s this tiny little room the size of a closet in the back and has all these black and white TVs that show everyone working. He can sit there and watch everyone make burgers.

  He said Dixon, we have not had the pleasure of working together since you started here.

  I said no.

  Then he goes this is the last of your training shifts, right?

  I said right. Then he went on about how Burger Hut prides itself on offering a variety of healthy, nutritious food. He pointed to the TVs. In addition to using these monitors I occasionally listen in on transactions to make sure they are satisfactory. I have been paying special attention to yours today, since we have never worked together and since you are at the end of your training. What I have seen has largely been outstanding. I was particularly impressed with your speed on the register. You don’t make many mistakes.

  He was looking at me like he wanted me to say something. I didn’t really know what, so I nodded and said thanks.

  Then he said it’s obvious to me you’re good with your hands.

  He waited again and I said thanks again.

  After a second he said here, let me show you something.

  He put one hand under his desk. Then a second later I could hear the restaurant.

  Jack was on register: Welcome to Burger Hut. May I take your order?

  A skinny girl with a kid was on one of the TVs looking up at the menu. She said uh. Then I’d like a Downtown Deluxe combo and a kid’s meal.

  He said I watched you today. I was also listening to you. You did a good job. You’re very good with customers. For the most part. But there was one transaction that worried me.

  Jack’s voice cut out halfway through. That’ll be nine dol—

  I said you mean what I said about the healthy choices?

  Gary said while you may have a way with customers, there’s more to it than your natural talent. I came out of the back room because I recognized the customer. She can be difficult with her questions.

  I nodded.

  At the beginning of your training you were provided with menu descriptions for the items we serve, complete with nutritional information.

  I hadn’t looked at it since.

  Before you appear on the floor, you need to know all the information contained in that packet. The healthy alternatives are there. If a customer asks—and they will—you need to know which items contain the fewest calories and the least fat and so on.

  I told him I said salad.

  He said salad is a good choice. But not everyone comes to Burger Hut for salad. Burger is in the name. They come for them.

  I said okay.

  He said I understand you’re almost done with your training, but without the kind of knowledge we’re looking for I’m afraid you might not be ready to start on the floor.

  I don’t want any more training shifts. Two-fifty an hour, or whatever it is. I want to get paid.

  Without really thinking about it I pulled my shirt up and showed him my bra.

  You wanna see these?

  He started smiling real big. He said yes, I do.

  I’ll be ready to start working, right?

  He said I can trust you to study the menu descriptions on your own.

  I held up my shirt with my chin and pushed my bra down so he could see my tits. I gave them a shake and stood there for a sec before I pulled my bra back up and let my shirt down.

  He said I’m glad we have this understanding. You’ll be on the schedule.

  * * *

  I’D GONE BY BEFORE WORK AND there weren’t any unlocked so I had to hitch. I didn’t think about what would happen on a weekend, when there was no one there.

  Pretty much right away some old guy with a pickup pulled over and asked me where I was going. I told him Burger Hut and he said get in the back. It was cold. I wanted to be in the cab with him. I had my knife with me.

  I decided to just walk home instead of hitching but this car pulled up. It was Ding.

  You need a ride someplace?

  I said L’il Bee.

  He said one ride to L’il Bee, coming right up.

  I got in and showed him my tits right away. Twice in the same day. I never did that before.

  He said very nice and passed me a flask. Whiskey. I took a pull.

  Then he said we haven’t been seeing as much of each other as we used to.

  I said yeah, I know. I’ve been working.

  Don’t you like fireworks any more?

  I said they’re cool, but I’m trying to save. I told you that.

  He asked where I was gonna move. I told him I wasn’t sure yet. Just out.

  He said you can always come to my place. I have a couch. My rates are very affordable.

  I said thanks.
I’ll think about it.

  Then he goes you know, if you’re looking to make some real money there are better ways to do it than Burger Hut. You work there what, forty hours a week?

  I said twenty. Part time.

  He said why only twenty? I said school.

  You do any good? In school?

  I said you know.

  He said if you have a job, why don’t you work full-time? Make more loot. Drop out.

  I said my mom’s boyfriend would beat the shit out of me if I did.

  He said well, maybe you need to start your own business, like me.

  I said yeah, maybe.

  Then he goes you can set up your own hours and starts laughing. Work from home. Think about it. I can set you up. You probably know a lot more kids than I do. Uh, kids your age, I mean. Be a chip off the old block. Just like your brother.

  I was like wait, what?

  He goes come on. You must know he deals.

  I was like bullshit.

  But then I thought about it. He doesn’t work. And he smokes tons of weed. Tons.

  I thought he bought from Steve. But I didn’t think about where he got the money.

  What was all this shit about me pinching off his stash the other day? If he deals?

  I wanted to ask Ding more questions but we pulled into the parking lot.

  Here you go. Think about what I said. Open your own franchise.

  I was like thanks and got out.

  * * *

  I still don’t know how I’m gonna get to work. I don’t have a bike. I guess I can buy one.

  * * *

  I took some money out of my stash and went down to the sporting goods store today before work. I bought a bike and a lock. I was the only person in there. It was pretty much the cheapest girl bike they had. And the lock I got is really thick. The guy tried to sell me a helmet but I don’t want to look like a tool bag biking around.

  I’m out two hundred bucks.

  I don’t usually go to that plaza. It’s also got a drugstore and a liquor store. There’s good shit there. I’ll have to remember it. Not as many wallets, but I got a laptop! So the bike will be discount when I sell it to Ding.

  I guess maybe I thought Ross was doing the same thing.

  * * *

  Work today was okay. It didn’t feel different. I clocked in and got on sandwich with Dalton.