Sizzling

by Susan Mallory

"More than great," Cal said. "I don't know how to thank you."

  "No thanks are required."

  Reid put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her close. "Can I pick 'em or what?"

  "You don't get credit for me," Lori told him, ignoring the heat his touch generated. "The nursing agency sent you a list of names and you picked me at random."

  Reid looked wounded. "You don't know that."

  "I'm willing to put money on my guess."

  "She doesn't take your crap," Cal said. "I like that."

  "She keeps me honest," Reid said. "No one's done that before."

  Lori tried to take pleasure in the compliment but she didn't want to keep Reid honest. She wanted to keep him up nights with unquenchable desire. Like that was ever going to happen.

  "Honest, huh?" Cal raised his eyebrows. "Interesting."

  "Yeah, yeah. Fascinating," Reid grumbled. "Let's eat. Gloria must be hungry."

  Lori wrinkled her nose. "There's no way your grandmother will eat this horrible, greasy food."

  "You think you know everything," he said, stepping away from her. "But you don't."

  Then he handed her the plate of wings with the bowl of dipping sauce in the middle.

  "Cal, grab the rest of this," he said. "I'll bring in plates and napkins. Tell Penny I don't want any complaints about the food. Now that she's a hot chef, she complains too much."

  Lori felt awkward as she carried the food into Gloria's room. There was a little too much family for her comfort and she didn't want anyone to think she assumed she was one of them.

  But when she entered the study, the number of chairs pulled up to Gloria's hospital bed indicated a party of four joining the elder Buchanan.

  Lori hovered and fussed with the food and the plates until Reid pushed her into a chair and took the one next to her.

  "I should- " she began, only to be cut off when he handed her a plate covered in fried food.

  "Eat," he said.

  "But…"

  He picked up a taquito and placed it between her lips. "Eat."

  She ate.

  Conversation flowed easily. She listened, rather than participated, as they talked business and family. She'd already met Walker and could place him, but Reid and Cal's sister, Dani, was still a mystery to her.

  "Walker has a handle on the business," Cal was saying. "Sales are up at The Waterfront."

  "I'm a little annoyed by that," Penny admitted. She'd placed the baby on the bed next to Gloria and pulled up the side bars to keep everyone safe. "I was gone for nearly two months. How could sales be up without me there to supervise the meals? I hate the thought of being replaceable."

  "You're never that," Cal told her.

  Gloria chewed, then swallowed. "Obviously you left a well-trained staff in place. Plus, Walker mentioned something about an increase in advertising. That wouldn't have helped if not for your excellent menus."

  Cal and Penny exchanged a look of surprise, then Penny murmured, "Thank you."

  Lori felt like a proud parent watching a child in her first play. She wanted to remind them all that Gloria wasn't really evil. She'd just lost her way. But Lori didn't want to break the mood by saying that. Instead she enjoyed the death food and the way Reid sat close to her. Was it totally stupid of her to pretend that this was real? That she was one of them and that Reid…what? Cared about her?

  The longing was as intense as it was foolish. If she were friends with someone in her situation, she would tell her friend to get over the guy who was out of reach and move on with her life. That time spent dreaming was just a waste.

  Reid passed her a couple of chicken wings. "Secret recipe," he whispered in her ear. "You'll love them."

  As he spoke, he winked. Talk about charming. Now that she knew a little more about his past, she couldn't keep telling herself he had the emotional depth of a cookie sheet. There was more to the man than just good looks and a way with women.

  The information hardly helped her situation. He was still as out of reach as the moon and she was nothing more than a coyote howling for what she would never have.

  CHAPTER TEN

  CAL, PENNY AND the baby left just as Sandy arrived for her evening shift. She helped Lori pack up the leftovers.

  "Take any of this," Lori said. "I doubt Gloria will have seconds and Reid doesn't need them."

  Sandy grinned. "I don't know. I think he looks pretty great."

  "I was thinking more of his heart than how he fits in jeans," Lori said dryly. "And aren't you engaged?"

  "I'm in love, but I'm not dead. He's still a fine-looking man. Any reason you're not going for some? I know he's interested."

  Lori felt a shift in the space-time continuum. She glanced at the clock on the microwave and half expected to see it moving backward.

  "Excuse me?" she said, her voice low and breathless. "I don't think so."

  Sandy shrugged. "I could be wrong, but I don't think so. He looks at you like…" She paused, then said, "Like you matter. You're important to him."

  "Reid? Me?"

  Lori hated how desperately she wanted the other woman's words to be true. Once again she was the poster girl for pathetic.

  "I have a brain," she said. And fairly small breasts- an obvious fact she didn't share.

  "Reid takes what's easy because he can," Sandy told her. "But none of us mean anything to him. There's something about him. Something that makes me think he's been through something bad. I don't know. Maybe not."

  Sandy was surprisingly perceptive, Lori thought. The other woman had guessed what Lori had never imagined. Remembering Reid's sad tale about love and rejection made her want to find him and tell him she was sorry for assuming he was too shallow to have actual feelings. It also made her want to ask for the rest of the story. There had to be more than he was telling her.

  "You do what you want," Sandy said. "You're going to anyway. But don't count Reid out just yet. I think he's hot for you."

  Lori didn't know what to say. Worse, she could feel herself blushing, which she hated.

  Sandy was a great person with a generous personality. She wasn't the type to be cruel on purpose. No doubt she actually thought Reid could be interested in Lori- a fact that made Lori question her intelligence.

  But what was worse was the awkward combination of hope and resignation Sandy's faith inspired. Lori wanted Reid to have feelings for her. But as much as she wished that, it was so unlikely as to be impossible to imagine. It was like being sixteen again- but with a level of self-awareness that made her ache.

  "I should be going," Lori said. "See you tomorrow."

  "Have a great night."

  Lori collected her purse and jacket, then walked toward the front of the large house. But as she passed the staircase, she found herself turning and climbing up.

  Her first couple of days in Gloria's employ, she'd explored the old mansion. But after getting a basic layout of the place, she'd never gone looking around again. Once Reid had moved in, she'd decided to make the upstairs off-limits.

  Even so, she had a good idea of which suite he'd claimed for his own. In the back of the house was a bedroom, living room, bathroom combination with a balcony and a great view of the city.

  She walked to the half-open door and knocked.

  From the hallway, she couldn't see anything, but seconds later, Reid appeared.

  She'd just spent most of the afternoon with him, so seeing him shouldn't have been any big deal. But it was. Her blood raced through her body and she had the amazingly stupid urge to flip her hair over her shoulder. Fortunately, it was safely secured in a tight braid and therefore unavailable for flipping.

  "Hey," he said with a slow, easy grin that made her insides shimmy and shake. "I thought you'd gone home."

  "I'm going now," she murmured, barely able to form words.

  What was it about this man that got to her? Why him? Why now? Sure he was good-looking, but she'd never been into appearance before. So what else? What combination of chemistry a
nd need made her unable to dismiss him?

  He stepped back and she followed him into the living room of his suite. The furniture was elegant but comfortable, the colors dark. Like everything else in Gloria's house, it was perfect.

  Reid wore jeans and a sweatshirt. Sometime after coming upstairs, he'd kicked off his boots and wore only socks on his feet. He was still substantially taller than her, which made her feel feminine and incapable of rational conversation.

  There was an open bottle of beer on the coffee table. She recognized the label as one from a local microbrewery.

  "Want one?" he asked.

  She shook her head, then changed her mind and said, "Sure. Thanks."

  He collected her a beer from a built-in refrigerator disguised as an end table, opened it and handed it to her.

  She took the icy bottle, then put down her purse and perched gingerly on the edge of the sofa. He joined her at the opposite end, looking interested and expectant. Right. Because she didn't usually spend her free time up here.

  "I'm sorry about before," she said slowly. "About what I said and what we talked about."

  He frowned slightly. "Can you be a little more specific? I don't exactly remember what moment you're thinking of."

  "Oh. Sure. Before. I was ragging on you about the women you're with and you told me about Jenny. I didn't know there was something like that in your past. I shouldn't have judged you."

  He picked up his beer and took a sip, then turned his attention back to her. "You like judging me. It makes you feel superior."

  Guilt and embarrassment made her flush. "That is so untrue," she said, lying and proud of it.

  "Come on, Lori. You think I'm totally useless."

  "Not useless. Just lazy."

  "Ouch."

  "You don't try because you don't have to. Like with Jenny. Did you really just give up on love because she rejected you or was it a convenient excuse to never fall in love again?"

  "Double ouch. You really don't like me, do you?"

  She saw a flicker of emotion in his eyes. Had her questions hurt him? She knew he was capable of being wounded, she just didn't think she could do it herself.

  "I do like you," she said impulsively. "A lot."

  "Really?"

  Oh, God. She could feel herself blushing. "What I mean is I think you're a great guy. You just like to hide your assets."

  He raised one eyebrow and she blushed again.

  "My assets," he said slowly. "Interesting. And they would be…?"

  He was baiting her. She wanted to think he was flirting with her, but she wasn't totally sure.

  "You're smart, you care about people. You have a heart, you're perceptive. But you conceal all that under a façade of being superficial and useless."

  "Playing baseball isn't useless."

  "I wasn't talking about your job, I was talking about your attitude. You act as if none of this is your fault. Like sleeping with the nurses. You want me to believe it just happened. But it didn't. You made it happen."

  She felt a little more comfortable and relaxed slightly. "You don't take responsibility in your relationships. Now I kind of know why."

  "I see you're still very comfortable judging me."

  "I don't mean what I said in a bad way."

  "Of course not." He studied her. "You're angry I didn't try to sleep with you."

  It was her worst nightmare come true. For possibly the third time in as many minutes, she felt hot with humiliation, only this experience was about a thousand times worse than the others. She couldn't speak, couldn't breathe, could only try to brace herself for the fact that he was going to tell her exactly how unappealing he found her. He would be kind about it, of course. He would say something polite but the message would be the same. Not her, not ever.

  "You didn't ask," he said, staring directly into her eyes. "You went out of your way to make sure I knew you thought I was a bug, which I could have handled. But the not asking?" He shrugged. "That's why."

  She felt as if her brain was caught up in a feedback loop. Information swirled around, repeating itself over and over again.

  "You slept with Sandy and Kristie because they asked?"

  He nodded.

  She opened her mouth, then closed it. There had to be more to this, she told herself. "You're saying you only sleep with women who offer?"

  "Pretty much. If they come on to me, or show up naked in my room, I'm game."

  She couldn't believe it. "So you want a relationship where all you have to do is show up?"

  "It's not a relationship," he told her. "It's sex, and yes."

  "And women do this? They show up and offer themselves?"

  "On a regular basis."

  "You have no other standard?"

  "No husbands or serious boyfriends." He grinned. "I don't want my ass kicked."

  "But if you could take the guy, then married would be okay?"

  He shook his head. "That was a joke, Lori."

  "I'm not sure it was. I can't believe that's your only benchmark. So any age? Any appearance?"

  "I like women. All women. Always have."

  But there had to be something else driving this. "You aren't that much of a dog," she said. "You have feelings. You have to want more."

  "Why? Because you do?"

  They were so not going to talk about her.

  "Because you're a real person, not a sexual machine."

  He grinned. "I like the idea of being a sexual machine."

  Sometimes he was such a guy. "Reid, I'm serious."

  "Why? What's the big deal? You want to figure this out and you already know the answer. Don't make it more complicated than it is. Women offer and I say yes. That's it."

  She wanted to accuse him of lying, but she had a bad feeling he was telling the truth. "I'm offended by the stupidity of women who walk around offering."

  "Why? They're getting what they want."

  She had a bad feeling he was right. "And you are, too?" she asked. "Your standard of answering the call of 'come and get it' is met? I can't believe you don't require more of yourself. Based on what you're saying, if I'd walked in here and said 'hey, big guy, want to get some?' we'd be having sex right now?"

  She hadn't thought her question through. She'd just been talking. But now the words were out there and she couldn't remember ever being more horrified.

  Because the tension in the room had cranked up considerably and Reid was looking at her in a way he never had. She was hyper-aware of him, of his maleness, of how much she wanted him. She'd voiced her greatest desire and by doing so, had opened herself up to her greatest fear.

  He was going to reject her.

  Oh, sure, he liked her enough to do it nicely, but the result would be the same. He was going to be kind and she was going to be devastated.

  "I need to get going," she said as she stood and started to back out of the room. "You're busy and I should get home. This has been great but…"

  He stood and grabbed her hand. She tried to tug free of his hold, but he didn't let her. Darkness invaded his eyes, but not in a scary, slasher-movie kind of way. Instead it was as if there was something smoldering in his gaze.

  She groaned silently. Smoldering? Was she so far gone she was thinking words like that? What was wrong with her?

  Stupid questions, she thought grimly. What was wrong with her was about six foot three, all muscle, charm and with some kind of body chemistry that reduced her to quivering without trying.

  "I'm not your type," he said, staring at her, as if trying to figure out what she was thinking.

  She opened her mouth, then closed it. What was she supposed to say to that?

  He took a step closer. Or maybe she'd just stopped pulling back. The humiliation was inevitable. Why not get it over with so she could hit bottom and start the healing process?

  "You would never in a million years want a guy like me," he continued. "You think I'm shallow and useless."

  What? "That's not true," she told him. "I thi
nk that you're…"

  She'd always read that people tended to use less than ten percent of their brains, which left a vast untapped wilderness of who knows what swirling around in there. Her eleventh percent suddenly jolted to life.

  "You think I don't like you," she said, barely able to believe it was true. "You're afraid I think you're a total waste of space."

  "Not afraid. You've told me exactly that, more than once. In many ways."

  She had, she realized. When they'd first met. But why would her opinion matter? He couldn't possibly…there was no way he actually, maybe, liked her, was there?

  On the heels of that unexpected revelation came the thought that maybe she'd hurt him. It didn't seem likely, let alone possible, but once the thought formed, she couldn't let it go.

  "Reid, I don't think badly of you," she whispered. "I can't. You're not what I thought." She smiled. "Sometimes you're worse, but mostly you're better."

  He continued to hold her hand as he stared into her eyes. There was something compelling about his gaze, something that made her lean forward and wish.

  "You confuse the hell out of me," he admitted. "I prefer my women simple."

  Inadequacy swamped her. She jerked her hand free and stepped back. "I won't keep you anymore."

  She started to turn, then he was there, in front of her, pulling her close, swearing softly, which was crazy enough, but then his mouth was on hers and crazy morphed into unbelievable.

  She didn't pull back because she couldn't and she didn't want to. She gave herself up to the slow brush of his mouth on hers. The kiss was slow. Sexy and enticing, but at a speed that implied they had all the time in the world.

  He reached up and rubbed his thumb against her bottom lip. Her instinct was to bite down on his thumb, but that seemed too aggressive and sexual and it wasn't anything she'd ever done before, so she stood there, feeling awkward and stupid.

  "Relax," he murmured, stepping closer until they were touching everywhere. He took off her glasses and put them on the coffee table. "Unless you don't want to be doing this."

  She wasn't sure what "this" was, but if it involved feeling the hard planes of his chest against her breasts and their thighs rubbing, she was all for it.

  "I'm fine," she murmured.