"I was scared," she said at last, which without an explanation probably didn't make much sense.
Reid stood in front of her and waited.
"I don't want to do this," she continued. "I don't want to try. I don't want to risk the pain."
"Are you breaking up with me?"
She tried to read his expression and couldn't. What was he thinking? Did they have enough of a relationship for there to be a breakup?"
"It's too hard," she admitted. "I'd done all this stuff and sure, some of it was me, but it was mostly for you and what if you didn't notice or didn't care? What if I'm yet another in a long line of one-night stands? Does any of this matter to you? Am I getting involved with someone who has no plans to be involved with me? I've never gone out with a guy like you. I don't know the rules. I've been warned to protect myself from you and while I appreciate the information I want to know why no one is warning you. Maybe I'll break your heart."
"Maybe you will," he said.
"I'm not saying I want to," she clarified.
"Yes, you do."
Did he really think that? "No. I just want to be equals in this. I want to be more than a supplicant at the altar of Reid."
"I have an altar?"
"You know what I mean." She shrugged. "That was all." She turned to leave.
He grabbed her arm and held her in place. Then he moved close, put his hands on her waist and drew her against him.
"Why do you doubt yourself?" he asked. "You look great. You looked great before. If you're happy with what you did, then I'm happy. You don't have to change to get me interested." He smiled, but continued to stare into her eyes. "I think I've already proved that. Several times over."
She appreciated the reassurance and refused to let herself point out that there hadn't been a repeat performance of that single, amazing night. She stepped back.
"I'm not looking for a one-night stand," he continued. "As for you hurting me, of course it could happen, Lori. I have as much on the line as you do. You're right- we're not equals. You have the advantage."
"Oh, please." Who was he kidding?
"You don't trust me," he said. "Why?"
"Because…Because you're Reid Buchanan and I don't know how to be in a relationship. Because I'm afraid. Because this is hard."
"So you run?"
"It seems a good plan."
"Maybe you could find another one."
She stared at him, not sure what to say. Did she want to stay? Not because he asked or because Madeline said it was a good idea, but for herself?
"I'm not running," he said. "You think that doesn't terrify me?"
"You're trapped here."
He touched her face. "You're wrong. There are a thousand places I could be. I'm here. With you."
She liked how that sounded. In the past, she'd always avoided making the effort. Maybe it was time to change that.
"I'll stay," she whispered.
"I'm glad."
* * *
DR. GRAYSON WAS a friendly woman who listened as Lori told her sad tale of being unable to wear contacts.
"How long has it been since you tried?" the doctor asked. "The new soft lenses are mostly water and many of my patients don't feel them at all."
"It's been about five years," Lori said. "Maybe longer."
"Do you want to try a pair now?"
Lori really didn't but somehow her makeover seemed incomplete. Besides, as spineless as it made her, her recent encounter with Reid had inspired her to go to the next level, or at least talk about it.
Dr. Grayson pulled out a plastic container of contacts. "You're a perfect candidate for Lasik," she said. "If that interests you."
Lori was too caught up in watching the doctor put liquid onto a seemingly innocent piece of flexible plastic to do more than murmur, "I'm not wild about the idea."
She swallowed hard, then tried to relax as the contact got closer and closer to her eye. When it was nearly touching, she flinched.
Dr. Grayson chuckled. "This goes better if you leave your eye open. Do you want to try putting it in yourself?"
"Not even for money."
"Okay. Deep breath. Here we go."
The contact slipped onto her eye. Lori could instantly see better out of that one eye, which was kind of nice. Maybe this wasn't so bad. Maybe she'd overreacted to the whole contact lenses issue. Then she blinked.
It was like having a boulder in her eye. Pain shot through to the back of head and tears poured down her cheek.
"Get it out, get it out," she said quickly.
"Okay. Look up. Keep your eye open."
Then it was gone. Dr. Grayson handed her a tissue. "So maybe contacts aren't for you."
"Maybe not."
"There are a lot of great styles in glasses."
Lori blinked several times to clear the tears, then looked down at her glasses. Maybe it was time to admit defeat.
Five minutes later she walked out into the waiting room. Madeline stood up.
"You're not wearing contacts."
"I'm not a good candidate."
"Oh. Okay. Now what?"
Lori pulled the appointment card out of her back pocket and tried not to hyperventilate.
"Now I get my corneas burned off by a stupid laser."
* * *
A TRUTH OF BASEBALL IS that the pitcher is going to get hit by a few balls. Either throws that go wild or an unexpected low hit that flies right down the middle. Reid had taken his share of knocks and he remembered how each one hurt like hell. The ones that hit him in the gut had pushed the air out of his lungs.
He felt like that now- as if he'd been sucker punched. He wondered if he would ever catch his breath again. Sure he'd done the right thing, but damn.
He walked into the kitchen and saw Lori making Gloria's lunch. She turned, smiled, then put down the knife she'd been using and hurried over to him.
"What's wrong? Do you feel okay? Are you sick?"
"I'm good."
"You look awful." She touched his forehead. "You don't have a temperature, but you're a little pale."
"I'm fine. Just getting used to the fact that I gave away one hundred and twenty-five million dollars."
Her eyes widened. "You did what?"
"Gave it away. I'm starting a foundation. Its mission is to help get kids involved with sports. We'll give away equipment, build play fields, send kids to camp, that sort of thing. At least that's what we're working out right now. The details."
Lori touched his arm. "Impressive. That's a lot of money."
"I'm just getting that."
She smiled. "So are you poor now? Do you have to get a job?"
"I'm trying to do the right thing, but I'm not crazy. I have money left. Besides, I have a job. I've quit the sports bar and now I'll be working at the foundation."
"Running it?"
"No. I'm hiring experts for that. I'm going to be the front man. I was talking to Cal about it. I want to do something. Those letters…" He shook his head. "They haunt me."
She squeezed his arm. "It wasn't your fault."
"It was my picture and fake signature that got sent to those kids. When I think of how disappointed they must have been…" He didn't want to think about it, but he couldn't seem to stop.
"I don't want it to happen again," he said firmly. "I'm going to make sure I get it right. I'm a celebrity of sorts. I can use that. I'll go out there and meet people. I'll get other donations, bring focus to important causes. Who knows- maybe I can even make a difference."
Even saying the words felt uncomfortable. While he'd tried to be a decent guy, he'd really only ever cared about himself and his family. Taking on the world's troubles seemed daunting. So he would start small. One problem at a time.
"You'll be great," she said. "Maybe this was your destiny all along. Maybe you were supposed to end up here, doing this kind of work."
He wasn't a big believer in destiny, but maybe she was right. But if all this was his destiny, what did that ma
ke her?
He stared into Lori's eyes, liking the way the colors swirled together. She was so beautiful, he thought. Beautiful and bossy and sexy as hell.
He dropped his gaze to her mouth and thought about kissing her. Kissing Lori was a great way to spend a day. Of course there was the issue of Gloria, and Lori being in the middle of preparing lunch, but…
He stared more intently. Something was different. Something was…
"You're not wearing your glasses," he said.
She nodded, her mouth pulling into a slight smile. "I know."
"Contacts?"
"We're not compatible."
"Then?"
"Lasik surgery."
He winced. "I thought you were never going to do that."
"I changed my mind. It wasn't bad at all. They gave me a tranquilizer and I let them burn away. The whole thing took about fifteen minutes. There isn't any downtime at all. Madeline even watched."
He grimaced. "Eye surgery? No, thanks. When did you have this done?"
"Yesterday."
"And you're okay?"
"I'm great. I can see perfectly." Her smile broadened. "It's kind of a miracle. And no more glasses."
He sensed he was on dangerous territory. If he said or did the wrong thing, he could really piss her off.
"I'm glad you're happy," he said carefully. "You looked great before and you look great now."
"You're so politically correct."
"I don't want you to beat me."
She laughed. "When have I ever beaten you?"
"You were very disapproving when we first met."
"I thought you were useless."
"Plus you were wildly attracted to me and you hated that."
He'd been teasing and expected her to deny his statement. Instead she looked away. "I need to finish Gloria's lunch."
"Lori?"
She shrugged. "It was stupid, but, yes, I did kind of have a crush on you. I hated that I did. Men like you never notice women like me."
"All evidence to the contrary," he said. He wanted to jump up and down and yell that Lori liked him, but he had a reputation for being cool, so he didn't.
"If you hadn't had to hang out here, nothing would have happened," she said.
"My loss."
She looked at him, her eyes wide. So many emotions raced across her face, he couldn't read any one of them.
"I don't know how to deal with you," she admitted.
"Why do I have to be dealt with?"
She sighed. "I don't know what's going on. We're not dating. We're friends, I guess. It's confusing. I'm confused."
"Me, too." He kissed her.
He liked her. He liked being with her. He wanted to keep being with her. But if she was asking him to define what they had, he was the wrong guy.
"I have something to ask you," he said. "Something important."
"Okay."
"I want you to think it through before you answer."
"You're making me nervous."
"No reason to be. Will you be on the board of directors for my foundation?"
She looked as stunned as if he'd just transformed into a cartoon character.
"What? I don't know anything about being on a board. I don't know anything about sports or charity work. Reid, you don't have to do this. Seriously."
"It's not about experience," he said. "You don't have to worry about that. The other members of the board are pros at this sort of thing. But I want you on the board as well. You won't let me get away with any crap. I trust you to kick my ass when I need it. You're the most down-to-earth person I know. You'll keep me and the foundation grounded. It's only a few hours a month. You'll get paid for your time, but it's not big bucks."
Lori couldn't believe what he was saying. Reid actually wanted her to serve on an advisory board for a new foundation funded by a hundred and twenty-five million dollars? Her?
"That's kind of a long-term commitment," she said. "If things don't go well between us, you'd be stuck with me."
"I'm good with that. No matter how much I pissed you off personally, you'd never mess with the foundation."
She wouldn't, of course, but she appreciated that he knew it, too.
Making a difference had a lot of appeal. Who wouldn't enjoy being in that position? It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, compliments of a man she'd once thought of as having the emotional depth of a cookie sheet.
She walked into his embrace and hung on tight.
"I was wrong about you," she murmured, burying her face in his shoulder. "You're much more than a pretty face."
"I'm overwhelmed by your flattery."
She chuckled, then raised her head and looked at him. "You didn't have to do any of this. You could have lived off your millions and not given a damn about anyone."
"I'm still going to live off my millions."
"You're a good guy. Don't hide that. We need good guys in the world."
In truth, she hadn't expected him to be one of them. But now that he was, it made him even more irresistible.
She felt her heart give a little zip. As if it had just opened up to Reid. As if she could now let him inside. The thought of caring more was terrifying, but how was she supposed to stop herself? He was better than she could ever have imagined.
He kissed her lightly. "You'd better feed my grandmother. She's skinny and needs to eat."
"You're right." But he didn't let her go. Instead he kept his arms around her.
"What are you doing later?" he asked. "After work?"
Anticipation exploded inside of her. "I don't know. What did you have in mind?"
"My place." He jerked his head toward the ceiling. "Say four o'clock. I'll be the good-looking guy waiting for you."
She would be the quivering female, but there was no reason to actually say that.
"Sounds like fun," she whispered instead and stepped back.
Reid looked at the clock. "That's a long time from now."
"Four whole hours."
"You still wearing a thong?"
There was something in his voice. Something low and throaty that made her thighs twitch.
"Uh-huh."
He groaned. "Ask my grandmother if you can leave work early."
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
LORI WAS BOTH excited and nervous as she climbed the stairs. She was pretty sure she knew what Reid had in mind- the concept if not the details. While she was thrilled at the thought of being with him again, she wondered how this time would be different from the last. Before she'd been totally swept away by the moment. Now she was not only aware of what they were going to do, but she had her own growing feelings to contend with.
Making love now would probably send her into a female frenzy of bonding. Did she want to take the chance of connecting more? Did she have a choice?
She reached Reid's room before she'd decided. The door stood partially open and she stepped inside.
She was met by soft, seductive music, lit candles everywhere and the man of her dreams walking toward her. As he took her in his arms and kissed her, she knew the answer to the question was no, she didn't have the strength or the will to walk away from him. She was going to play this to the end. If she got hurt, she would deal with the pain.
"I didn't think you'd ever get here," he said as he kissed his way down the side of her neck.
She wore a long-sleeved shirt. He unfastened the first couple of buttons, then pushed the fabric off her shoulder so he could kiss her there.
"I have chocolate wine and chocolate-dipped strawberries," he murmured against her skin. "Prepare to be seduced."
"Chocolate wine?"
"You'll love it," he said. "Trust me."
Her mind and her body fought for her attention. On the one hand, it was impressive that the original Mr. "I take a woman who is willing and does the asking" had put himself out there. On the other, the warm brush of his lips made her not really care about anything else.
He straightened and pulled her into his a
rms. They began to sway to the music, a sexy, sultry Norah Jones song that had a beat built in desire.
Reid kept one hand on the small of her back and slipped the other through her hair, then he kissed her.
His mouth was warm and demanding. She parted for him. He slipped inside, his tongue brushing hers in a way designed to excite her. His body was hard and unyielding, already aroused. The feel of his erection against her belly sent heat and need spiraling through her.
He wanted her. He wanted her. Impossibility battled with reality and reality won. She threw both arms around him and abandoned herself to the moment.
She kissed him with all she had, meeting him stroke for stroke, then closing her lips around his tongue and sucking. He stiffened, his arousal pulsed, then he nipped her bottom lip and pulled back.
"How about the chocolate wine?" he asked.
She opened her eyes. "Not necessary."
"But I have the whole seduction planned. Especially the chocolate part."
Which was sweet. He'd obviously gone to a lot of trouble. She appreciated the gesture. "Seriously, later, I'll be all over that chocolate wine. But not right now."
She stepped back and toed off her shoes. After pulling off her socks, she dropped her jeans, then tossed them onto the sofa. She moved up against him, took his hands in hers and put them on her butt…the very butt left bare by the thong she was wearing.
His breath caught. He squeezed her curves, then eased one hand around to her hip. He pushed the scrap of silk down her legs and she stepped out of it. Then he slipped his fingers between her thighs and began to touch her with an expertise that took her breath away.
He found her center and began to tease it, moving slowly around the heart of her desire, but not quite touching it. He did that again and again, until she was close to begging. She stood, her legs parted, her hands on his shoulders, needing him to keep her balanced and at the same time wanting him to rock her world. Just when she was about to give in and shove his hand into place, he slipped a single finger inside of her and pressed his thumb exactly where she needed him most.
Sensations rippled through her. Tension rose as muscles tensed and her breathing increased. He knew exactly how to do that, how to circle and rub and excite. It was as if he had been hard-wired into her brain and could feel what she was feeling.
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