The Forbidden

by Beverly Lewis

  Nellie Mae looked befuddled. She resumed her hair brushing and turned to face the window. “The church split’s caused plenty of problems, I’ll say that.”

  Rhoda saw the flicker of pain on Nellie’s face. “I don’t suppose you’d let me see Suzy’s diary.”

  Nellie frowned. “What for?”

  “She was my sister, too.”

  “Why now?”

  “I’d just like to read it, that’s all.” Rhoda wouldn’t stoop to pleading.

  Nellie set down her hairbrush. “Best not.”

  Rhoda had figured as much and left the room. Sometime when Nellie was sleeping, she would simply borrow it. . . .

  At breakfast, when Rosanna passed the basket of muffins to Elias, he surprised her by saying, “I heard you prayin’ this morning, love.”

  She started. “Oh. Didn’t realize—”

  “And you’ve been studyin’ Scripture, too.”

  Had he seen the Bible lying open, or the list of verses Linda Fisher had written down?

  She held her breath while he paused, looking at his callused hands.

  “I’ve been thinkin’,” he began. “We ought to at least look into Preacher Manny’s group. See what it’s all about.”

  Hope filled her. “Really?”

  “I’ve talked to a few of the tractor folk, too.”

  She heard the excitement in his voice and feared he might want to bypass the New Order flock, the group most interesting to her. Biting her lip, she wanted to word her question carefully, so as not to sound critical. “Is it the farm equipment that has your interest?”

  “I won’t deny it would be a great help, what with so many years before little Eli can work alongside me,” he replied. “But it’s more than that. I’ve been talkin’ to Reuben Fisher. Ach, the things he’s shown me in Scripture— wonderful-gut things, Rosanna . . . things I’ve never heard before. Well, I want to learn more, too.” He looked at her.

  “I hope this doesn’t scare you.”

  Oh, how she loved him. “I’ve been more than curious, too . . . wanting to know more—wanting to know the Lord God truly as Linda Fisher does. I’ve felt this way for some time, Elias.”

  He reached for her hand. “I thought as much.”

  “You aren’t angry with me, then?”

  He rose and kissed her cheek. “I’m hopeful, love. I want Eli and Rosie to study God’s Word—not just follow the ordinance. To hear Reuben talk of Suzy, the comfort of knowing she’s with her Savior, that they’ll see her again someday . . .

  I want that for all of us. For our family.”

  “We are a family now, ain’t so?” She glanced over at the playpen, where the twins slept side by side.

  Nodding, he smiled. “We always were, but now all the more, with God’s gift of these two little ones.”

  Nellie smiled, unable to suppress her glee as a whole group of customers left the bakery shop for their cars. “Oh, Mamma, what’s happenin’ to bring in so many folk? And scarcely anyone Plain.”

  Her mother leaned on the display counter, looking ever so pretty in her green cape dress, her hair somewhat looser than usual around the sides of her round face. “Must be that ad someone put in the paper, is my guess.” Mamma stifled a chuckle. “I asked Rhoda ’bout it, but it wasn’t her.”

  Nellie shook her head. “ ’Tis a mystery.”

  “I should say.”

  Looking over the remaining cookies, bread, rolls, and coffee cake, Nellie worried they might actually run out of baked goods. “Well, if the ad brought those Englischers, then prob’ly there’ll be more, jah?” She hoped so, since they had much catching up to do in the way of income.

  “No question in my mind why they came.” Mamma threw away the pieces of paper where she’d totaled up the sales amounts for each of the last twenty-five or more patrons. “I’ve never laid eyes on any of those ladies before, have you?”

  “They’re new to me, jah.” Nellie noticed another car pulling into their lane. “Looks like more, too . . . a right steady flow.”

  “Dat will be prancin’ with joy.” Mamma pressed her hands to her face. “Ach, I don’t know when I’ve had such a fine time.”

  Pleased as she was about the increase in business, Nellie was glad for the slight lull in customers, so they could catch their breath. She expected she’d have only a short time to talk with Mamma about the things on her heart. Perhaps while they cleaned up the noontime dishes there would be additional time . . . if Nan was off somewhere else, maybe. Otherwise, she’d have to wait till afternoon. By then surely they’d have run out of the day’s offerings and have to post the Closed sign on the door.

  Such a good problem to have, Nellie thought, wondering again just who’d placed the newspaper ad.

  CHAPTER 18

  Betsy glanced through the bakery shop window, delighted to see daughter-in-law Martha arrive for yet another visit with her three littlest ones in tow. The unexpected sight of her beloved granddaughter running through the snow toward the bakery shop took her by surprise. Dear Emma looked so like a young Suzy. Betsy’s heart tugged ever so hard, and here just when she’d begun to feel some better.

  “Oh, Nellie—Emma’s come to visit!” she announced over her shoulder and rushed to the shop door.

  Nellie Mae dutifully remained behind the counter, helping customers while Betsy ran out into the cold, arms flung wide. Emma fairly flew to her, wrapping her little arms around Betsy’s neck and squeezing ever so tight.

  “Mammi Betsy, I missed ya!” Emma said, her plentiful kisses raining on Betsy’s face.

  “Emma, darling, let your brothers have a hug now, too, please,” said Martha, who was carrying a very bright-eyed and smiling two-year-old Matty.

  Jimmy, three and a half, clumped forward in black boots too big for his feet, squealing, “Mammi, Mammi!”

  Betsy released Emma and received Jimmy’s hug, then kissed him on his chubby red cheeks. She was quite aware of Emma, who stood beside her all the while. “Go and get warmed up in the house.” She shooed Martha along. “I’ll be down later. Nellie Mae and I’ve got our hands full today.”

  “Business is pickin’ up?” Martha patted Matty’s head as he giggled, now reaching his arms out to Betsy, who gladly took him and gave him a sound kiss.

  She nodded. “Never busier. Nan’s making a nice big pot of chili for the noon meal . . . so yous can stay and eat with us, maybe?” She nearly held her breath, waiting for Martha’s head to bob in agreement. Then she waved and leaned down to give Emma another kiss on her sweet cheek before hurrying back into the bakery shop, where Nellie Mae looked red in the face.

  Betsy hurried around to the other side of the counter to help the next two women in line, with the more outspoken woman paying for both orders. She watched Emma run to catch up with her mamma outside, trying not to smile too broadly when Emma turned and looked back toward the bakery shop before she reached the walkway leading to the back door.

  Bless her heart!

  Oh, but it was hard to keep her mind on the work. Thankfully, they’d all be eating dinner soon, enjoying some of Nellie Mae’s moist corn bread, and Emma would plant herself right next to Betsy at the table.

  Sighing, she counted change for the two women, grateful they and all the others had come on such a nippy day.

  When the bakery shop cleared out a bit, she touched Nellie’s hand. “You doin’ all right?”

  “Why, Mamma?”

  “Well, ya looked tuckered out earlier.”

  Nellie nodded. “Don’t know when I’ve ever had so much goin’ at once.” She glanced toward the windows and took a deep breath. “Mamma, I’ve been wanting to talk to you. . . .”

  Betsy’s heart fluttered. What about?

  “You’re just so happy since, well . . . since you and Dat started goin’ to the new church.” Nellie fidgeted with the keys on the cash register. “No, I guess it’s more than that— it’s your joy. Honestly, Mamma.” Her lower lip quivered.

  “Oh, honey-girl
.” She slipped her arm around Nellie’s slender waist. “Come, now.”

  “No, you are happy, Mamma. Your eyes are a-shinin’ all the time.”

  “Ain’t my doin,’ dear one.” She measured her words. “The change came right in here, thanks to the Lord.” Patting her heart, she hoped that maybe Nellie was hungering after the things that had brought light and life to her and Reuben.

  Nellie Mae’s eyes filled with tears. “You prayed for me . . . when I was ever so sick. Remember?”

  Oh, she remembered, all right.

  Eyes pleading, Nellie asked, “Will ya keep prayin’, Mamma?”

  Her heart nearly broke at this from her girl who’d seesawed about the New Order. It appeared Nellie was more curious again. Could it be Nan’s doing? She’d noticed that daughter had devoted much more attention to Nellie this past week. “Why, sure I will.”

  A car pulled into the lane, inched up to the bakery shop, and parked. Four more English customers got out, heading toward them.

  “Remember, you’re always welcome to attend Preachin’ with us,” Betsy said, frustrated that this important conversation must come to a premature end. When might she and Nellie Mae ever again talk so freely?

  More than a dozen crows flew over the road directly in her line of vision as Rosanna drove the enclosed family buggy with baby Eli snuggled in one arm. The birds looked exceptionally large and black against the starkness of the white snow, and their cawing sounded menacing. Rosanna held the reins with her free hand, glad to have left Rosie at the neighbors’, not wanting to risk taking both babies in the carriage by herself for even this short drive.

  She had begun to suffer a bad case of cabin fever. Hopefully the ten-minute trip to see Linda Fisher would suffice for getting some fresh air on this most beautiful, yet cold, Monday morning. She’d hung the washing right early while the twins conveniently slept. She smiled at the memory of rushing back and forth to check on them, not wanting to leave them alone for more than a few minutes, even though they were snug in the cradles Elias had brought down to the warm kitchen first thing in the morning. What’s more, he had helped by giving Eli his early morning bottle before heading off to a nearby farm sale.

  She began to hum a church song, hoping Eli would continue to sleep till they arrived at Linda’s. Church songs and church itself were less interesting these days; it was Elias’s curiosity in the newly formed New Order group that had her most excited. Preacher Manny’s flock attended services every Sunday—the “off” Sundays were for Sunday school— setting the People all abuzz.

  How strange it would seem to go each and every Lord’s Day. Rosanna supposed they could get used to going so often. Especially if the sermon and Scripture readings are understandable.

  Not wanting to hurry the horse, she embraced the thrill of their future—so many possibilities. Surely the winds of change had begun to blow already, with Elias on the verge of jumping the fence . . . or at least seriously thinking about it. And even though it seemed like a wonderful-good thing to do, she feared how her father and her extended family might take such news. At least making the leap before the bishop declared the return of the Bann meant they could continue to enjoy fellowship with their family and friends in the old church.

  Looking into the tiny face of her son, she whispered, “Your pop wants you to know all the good things found in God’s holy Word. You and your sister both.” She kissed his peachy cheek. Rosanna would leave it to Elias to decide if such things as tractors, electricity, and telephones were for them.

  No matter which new path her love might choose, the future seemed ever so bright to Rosanna as she pulled up to the Fisher home.

  Linda greeted her at the back door. “Come in, come in!”

  Rosanna moved into the warm kitchen with Eli, who’d mercifully slept during the buggy ride.

  “Well, this is a welcome surprise!” Linda began to flutter about to put some cookies on the table.

  “Can’t stay long . . . must be gettin’ back to Rosie.” Rosanna explained why she hadn’t attempted to bring both babies.

  “I can imagine it would be difficult to travel alone with them both, at least till they’re old enough to sit up.” Linda stopped her preparations to make over Eli, who was peeking at her with one open eye as he slowly roused. “He’s a handsome boy, that one.”

  Rosanna lifted him onto her shoulder. “He’ll be hungry here ’fore too long.”

  “You should sit down and have something for your sweet tooth while you have the chance.” Linda put a pot of water on to boil and returned to the table, sitting across from Rosanna.

  They talked of the cold weather and all the snow, of the farm auctions, and how many folk had already scattered churchwise.

  “Jonathan’s downright pleased ’bout seeing so many converts.” Linda’s big brown eyes sparkled. “I daresay you’ve heard as much.”

  It was interesting to hear Linda talk like this—about grace and electricity mixed into one convenient package. “Jah, we’ve heard, and between you and me, Elias said at breakfast just this morning that he’d like to visit Manny’s church. ’Course, he also talked about tractors, so he might be leaning toward the Beachys. He could surely use a tractor’s help in the fields.”

  “A tractor?” Linda was smiling. “Well, wait’ll ya see Jonathan’s new car. It’s a beauty.”

  It was so odd hearing this from Linda, although the grapevine had already heralded the news. “Where’s it now?”

  Getting up, Linda looked out the window. “He’s out taking his driving test—hired a man to teach him, can ya believe it?”

  “I declare.” Rosanna laughed softly, repositioning Eli on her lap. “This one might like helping his daddy on a tractor when he’s a little bigger. Ain’t so, darlin’?”

  Linda looked her way, smiling at Eli. “Some of the farmers up the road plan to take their boys along, come spring. One farmer even paid extra for air-conditioning in the cab. Now, what do ya think of that?”

  “Ach, really?”

  Suddenly there was a commotion in the lane, and when Rosanna looked, she saw Linda’s husband sliding up toward the barn door in his automobile, narrowly missing it as the brakes caught at the last minute.

  “Such a time to be out driving, jah?” Linda rushed to the back door and outside, leaving Rosanna to sit with Eli in her arms.

  “What’s the world comin’ to?” she whispered. “Cars and all the newfangled whatnot.”

  Even so, she was mighty curious.

  “Dat’s lookin’ to buy a car, Mammi Betsy,” confided Emma in whispered tones before they sat down to the noon meal.

  Nan glanced over at them from the stove, where she was stirring the chili, and Nellie Mae’s eyebrows shot up. Betsy was thankful Reuben hadn’t come inside yet for dinner.

  “Now, Emma,” Martha said quickly, eyeing Betsy. “Your Dat’s only talking ’bout it—nothin’s for sure.”

  Oh, but it won’t be long, thought Betsy sadly. Wanting to change the subject, she asked Emma, “What new sewing project have you started since Christmas?”

  But the child was not to be dissuaded. “We’ll be able to go ever so fast then, ain’t so, Mammi?” Her big blue eyes fairly danced.

  Jimmy started to frolic about the kitchen like a very fast horse, and Martha, quite flummoxed, turned her attention to Matty, on her lap.

  Nellie Mae made a suggestion. “Here, Emma, put this basket on the table for me.”

  Emma nodded and carefully carried the large wicker basket of corn bread over to the table. “There,” she said, gently setting it down. “What else can I do?”

  Apparently glad she’d succeeded in getting Emma’s attention, Nellie looked over at Betsy, smiling. “Put all the napkins around, too.” She showed Emma how to fold them in half, placing the first one under the fork on the left side of the plate. “Do this for each fork, jah?”

  Emma set about doing as Nellie asked, any further talk of automobiles evidently forgotten.

  Later, whe
n Reuben was washed up and sitting at the head of the table, he bowed his head and prayed longer than usual. Betsy wondered if the content of the audible prayer was for Martha’s benefit, as Reuben undoubtedly had already heard of James’s plan to purchase a car. Maybe that was why he ended the prayer with “And, Lord, keep us—all of us—ever mindful of the narrow way that leads to life everlasting. Amen.”

  The light filtered through the side window of the enclosed family carriage as Rosanna headed home. Ever so glad she’d made time in her busy day to see Linda, she shifted Eli in her arms. He had been perfectly placid and sweet all during both the carriage ride there and during the visit.

  She stopped to pick up Rosie at the next farm over and decided it was safe to let the horse lead them home, the reins draped loosely across her lap blanket as she held both babies near.

  Upon her arrival, she got Eli and Rosie settled inside the house in their playpen. She was glad to see Elias coming for dinner, willing and ready to help with unhitching the horse for her and leading it to the barn.

  One less thing to do, she thought, rushing to reheat the chicken corn chowder she’d made on Saturday. Now all she needed was to put some dinner rolls on the table with several kinds of jams, and Elias would be smiling.

  Fast as a wink, she took off her coat and went to wash her hands at the sink, where she spotted a note with her name printed on it in bold letters.

  Dear Cousin Rosanna,

  I stopped by to nurse Eli today and you were gone!How can you possibly think it’s safe to take Eli and Rosie in the carriage by yourself? Or did you have help, maybe? I certainly hope you had that much sense!

  Well, I’ll see you later today, if I can get away. This is such an inconvenience to me, I daresay, your being away from the house and all.

  Till later,

  Your cousin,

  Kate Beiler

  It was Martha who took charge of stacking the dirty dishes and gathering up the silverware with a little help from Emma. Nellie was pleased to see her sister-in-law again, happy she’d come by to have a meal with them now that Nellie was well enough to join in the visit. Meanwhile, Mamma was in a hurry to get back to the bakery shop, rushing off to wash her hands and face in the washroom “right quick.”