The Forbidden

by Beverly Lewis

  Returning to the kitchen, she covered her eyes so as to shut out the cozy sight in the front room. But she found herself moving forward, heading toward Kate while Rosie rutsched against her own bosom.

  Rosanna marched into the front room, stopping smack-dab in the center of the large braided rug, glaring at Kate with Eli at her breast. She gasped, then muttered, “I . . . you . . .”

  Kate looked up and smiled. “You all right?”

  “Not one bit!”

  Quickly her cousin’s smile faded into a frown. “What’s a-matter, cousin? You not feelin’ so well?”

  That too.

  “Here, pull up a chair.” Kate motioned to the corner and the old cane chair Elias had recently redone. “Sit with me . . . I want to talk to you.”

  Rosanna pulled the chair over, surprised at herself for being this compliant when all she really wanted was to snatch her son from this cruel woman. Even so, she sat and lifted Rosie onto her shoulder, patting her back and willing herself to remain calm and listen to Kate.

  “John and I were talkin’ this morning, early . . . before breakfast.”

  Rosie squirmed.

  “We’re concerned.” Kate paused. “If you continue goin’ to the new church, well, more than likely, Eli will make his kneeling vow to that church.” Kate looked down at Eli, stroking his hair.

  Rosanna was confused. “What’re you sayin’?”

  Kate shifted Eli to her shoulder and rubbed his back, waiting for the burps, which came quickly in a series of two . . . then a softer third.

  “John wants our children to remain in the Old Order, where they belong . . . where you and Elias ought to stay,”

  Kate said, her voice trembling.

  Rosanna held Rosie close, fear rushing through her.

  “And . . . ’specially Eli.” Kate kissed the top of his head.

  “We worry what might happen if the lot, the divine ordination, were to fall on him when he’s grown.”

  Rosanna was all befuddled. So the divine appointment was of concern suddenly because of her and Elias’s visit to Preacher Manny’s church? Was that it?

  “I say, if God appoints Eli for His service, then who are we to question?” Rosanna choked back a breath.

  “That’s why John and I want our son raised up in the Old Ways . . . in case the Lord chooses him to be a man of God.”

  “You’re most worried ’bout Eli, then?”

  Kate nodded slowly, deliberately.

  “Rosie here doesn’t matter?” Rosanna cuddled her daughter near.

  “Why, sure . . .” Kate said unconvincingly.

  “Well, she could end up a preacher’s wife . . . we just don’t know.” Kate’s favoritism angered her, but Rosanna chose to push it aside. “So it seems you know where we went yesterday.”

  “Ain’t a secret, that’s for sure.”

  “Elias and I didn’t intend to hide it.”

  Kate sighed loudly, guiding Eli to latch on to her other breast. “How could we have known this was goin’ to happen?”

  “The church split?”

  “Jah, back when we promised the babies . . .”

  Rosanna sucked in her air too quickly and had to cough.

  “Well, I hope you don’t regret it.”

  Rosie began to whimper, and it was time to get the bottle out of the hot water, lest it be too warm for her tender mouth. Rosanna made her way to the kitchen, unable to think. Kate seemed truly sorry she’d given up Eli and Rosie. On the other hand, was this merely because of the baby blues? Maybe Kate needed more herbal tea. Blessed thistle . . . do I have any on hand?

  Beset by the smell of scorched baby formula, she placed Rosie in the playpen and rushed to the cookstove. Using a potholder, she plucked the boiling hot bottle out of the pan and placed it in the sink. Clearly the formula was unsalvageable.

  “It’s my fault for listenin’ to that woman babble on,” she whispered. She poured it out and went to prepare another bottle for wailing Rosie.

  Her daughter’s cries pierced the silence that had gripped the house, creating even further agitation in Rosanna as she shushed and gently jostled her. She moved from one window in the kitchen to the next, looking out at the icy coating on the sheep fences running in neat, boxlike patterns across the snowy grazing land, and the silvery garlands on the few evergreens up near the crest of the hill, by the woods.

  “It’s all right,” she repeated, knowing the words were meant not only for Rosie but for herself.

  Once the bottle was warm, Rosanna sat with Rosie suckling hard. She rocked in Elias’s favorite rocking chair, aware of the relative quiet—the void left by Rosie’s wails as she was soothed with warm nourishment.

  Yet Rosanna’s fury still raged within, increasing when she heard Kate declare to Eli in the front room, “You must grow up in the fear of the Lord God . . . on the right side of the fence.”

  Rosanna shuddered and steeled herself, looking into Rosie’s contented eyes. She mustn’t let her frustration get out of hand.

  Surely Kate would settle down as she always did. One thing or another had upset her ever since the twins had come to live here. Perhaps it had been a good idea for Kate to continue on as Eli’s wet nurse, soothing herself some, as well as baby Eli.

  Rosanna prayed silently for wisdom—no need for Kate to confront her about speaking her prayer aloud. Bad enough the grapevine had delivered the news of her and Elias’s attendance at Manny’s church to the Beilers’ ears, although she was not sorry. She couldn’t imagine them returning to the old church now, not after Elias’s heartfelt repentance.

  She caressed Rosie’s hair, soft and wispy as corn silk, recalling her first miscarriage . . . the bleeding, then cramping pain, followed by a constant dull ache low in her back. It was not the physical symptoms that had caused the greatest suffering; rather, it was the knowledge of losing what she’d longed for, the wee one growing beneath her heart.

  Her bottle finished, Rosie relaxed, but Rosanna knew she must be burped or she’d suffer colic pain later. “Let’s get some of that gas up,” she whispered, moving her forward to a sitting position and pressing gently on her little tummy while patting Rosie’s back. She realized as she did so that her anger had subsided. She did not know how this could be, unless the Spirit of God—as Preacher Manny had referred to the Holy Spirit yesterday in his sermon—had removed her resentment.

  Truth be known, she was relieved to be free of it. She got up and held Rosie against her shoulder, going downstairs to check on the laundry. She’d left a wicker basket lined with soft baby blankets there because she always seemed to have one twin or the other in her arms when doing the washing.

  Today was no different, so she placed Rosie inside, knowing she’d be only a short time running the clothes through the wringer. She talked to Rosie as she worked, delighting in her gurgles and the cute way she made tight fists of her hands.

  “You’re a happy little one, jah?” Her heart was so full of love for Rosie and her twin brother. She marveled at how both of them could raise their heads momentarily when she put them on their tummies. They were growing stronger each day.

  The wringer got stuck and Rosanna had to open it and start over with a pair of trousers, glad for Rosie’s patience.

  Finally she finished and, reaching down to bring Rosie up to her face, kissed her. “Now Mamma’s ready to get ya to sleep.” She nuzzled her and headed for the stairs.

  In the kitchen, she went to the cupboard, found some herbal tea to offer Kate, and set the teakettle on the stove. Then, settling down in the rocker, Rosanna sighed and leaned her head back, closing her eyes for a moment and reminiscing about the days when she and Elias were still waiting for a child . . . Kate and John’s baby.

  Rosie started in her arms, and Rosanna glanced down at her perfect rosebud mouth. A mule brayed in the distance, and the steady ticking of the day clock came from the sitting room. Other than that, peace prevailed.

  Then she realized how quiet things seemed. The creak
ing had ceased in the front room, where Kate was also rocking. Rosanna bit her lip, refusing to ponder further Kate’s pointed talk about the old church versus the new.

  Sighing, she rose and carried Rosie to the playpen. Once she was tucked in, Rosanna looked into the front room. The rocker was empty.

  Must be upstairs in the nursery for a diaper change, Ros–anna thought and decided not to follow Kate, who was adept at such things, having six children of her own. Eight, if you counted— She caught herself, believing that Kate’s twins were, indeed, her very own. In every way that was important, Eli and Rosie were her dear ones, connected by both blood and love.

  Returning to the kitchen, she started some cookie dough, hungry for chocolate chip oatmeal. She glanced out the window as she worked. “What the world?”

  Dashing to the back door, she looked out. Kate’s horse and buggy were no longer parked in the driveway. Her gasp caught in her throat.

  Swiftly Rosanna ran to the foot of the stairs. “Kate?”

  Then her voice rose to a shout. “Kate!”

  Only silence. That and the beating of her own heart, louder and louder in her ears.

  Kate left without sayin’ good-bye? “Why . . . why?”

  Oh, but she knew. She knew as the wrenching pain hit her soul—the same pain she had known when her babies had died in that special place near to her heart. Dear Lord, no.

  Rosanna flew up the stairs. Panic rising and tears streaming, she ran frantically from room to room. There was no sign of precious Eli. Even the afghans and quilts and things she’d lovingly made for him . . . gone.

  CHAPTER 26

  Rosanna raced from the house to the barn, not bothering to put on a coat. “Elias!” she called as she ran. “Elias!” He would know what to do. He would rescue Eli, would rescue them all. . . .

  “Elias, come quick!” No answering call. She threw open the barn door and dashed in, but there was no sign of him or the family buggy, either. Glimpsing the hay in the barn, she remembered: Elias had taken the buggy and gone to help a neighbor fork hay. Himmel . . . no.

  Only then did she feel the icy cold reach her overheated skin. What to do? How to find help? For the first time in her life, Rosanna wished she owned a telephone.

  She left the barn and searched the yard, the driveway, and the road beyond—as empty as her arms. The wind gusted and she thought she heard a cry. Had Rosie awakened? A new panic filled her. Kate hadn’t come back for Rosie, too, had she? Fear fueled her, and she hurried back across the yard and into the house. Lungs heaving, she found Rosie, still asleep in the playpen. Safe.

  Oh, Lord in heaven, keep Eli safe, too. Rosanna prayed no harm would befall him, especially out on these snowy roads, with mad Kate at the reins.

  Leaning over the playpen, she laid her trembling hand on Rosie’s soft head. She needed to touch her. “I’m sorry, little one,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I didn’t watch over your brother more closely. I didn’t know . . . I never thought . . .”

  Her tears fell unchecked. “I’m so sorry.”

  What was Kate thinking, leaving with Eli? Like a kidnapping, really, right out from under her nose.

  Trying to keep her mind and body occupied, Rosanna paced the full length of the house, from the front room— eyeing the rocker where Kate had sat with Eli—all the way back to the utility room, where Elias’s work boots and their winter things were neatly stored.

  When she could bear it no longer, Rosanna returned to the side of the playpen holding Rosie so that she could keep her eye on her wee daughter. As if something dreadful could happen to make her vanish, too.

  She reached in again and this time touched Rosie’s tiny fist, crying quietly, not wanting to wake her darling girl.

  Oh, Kate . . . how could you do such a terrible thing?

  She thought of Elias, knowing he was more tender toward Eli, and it made her weep all the more. Why hadn’t she suspected what Kate was up to—hadn’t she nearly spelled it out there in the front room, with all the grim talk about the New Order?

  Holding her middle, she peered out the frosty windows.

  How could Kate possibly keep Eli warm out there?

  Lest she make herself sick worrying, Rosanna straightened her apron and sat in the rocker. She began to pour out her heart to the Lord, beseeching almighty God for protection and care for both Eli and Kate . . . and a double portion of grace for poor Elias, who loved Eli with his whole heart.

  Betsy Fisher could no longer quell her yearning to visit Rhoda, to reassure herself that Rhoda was indeed all right. Since Rebekah Yoder was with them today, helping out in the bakery shop, Betsy thought she could be gone for an hour or two without leaving Nellie shorthanded. Knowing it was Rhoda’s monthly morning off, Betsy decided to take a chance that she might find her at James and Martha’s.

  Betsy drove the family carriage along the edge of the road, the old buggy bouncing and jerking over the hardened ruts of packed snow. When Elias and Rosanna’s house came into view, she thought of Nellie’s friend, suddenly the mother of twins. She remembered her own firstborn sons—twins Thomas and Jeremiah—and felt a pinch of nostalgic longing to hold a baby in her arms again.

  Why not stop in and visit Rosanna? she thought. The sudden urge took her by surprise. No. You’re headed for Rhoda’s. Don’t want to be gone all day . . .

  She decided she’d come another time and clucked her tongue to prod the horse to go faster. But again, she felt she ought to stop. Was the Spirit of the Lord prompting her? Did Rosanna need some advice about caring for two at once? Some help, just maybe?

  Betsy pulled on the reins and turned the horse into the Kings’ driveway.

  She tied up the horse and walked onto the porch, only to hear weeping before she even reached the door. What’s this?

  Knocking, she called, “Rosanna? It’s Betsy Fisher. Are you all right?”

  The door opened and there Rosanna stood, her face a startling mixture of red blotches and gray pallor, her eyes wild and teary, her prayer Kapp askew.

  “Oh, Mrs. Fisher! I thought you might be Kate come to her senses.”

  Rosanna sobbed and turned away from the door, leaving it open for Betsy without inviting her in. Betsy followed anyway, a terrible dread balling up inside her.

  The kitchen counter was a mess. Mixing bowls, open canisters, and flour were strewn all around.

  “You didn’t pass Elias on the road, did you?” Rosanna asked desperately.

  Betsy shook her head. “Rosanna, what is it? What’s happened?”

  Rosanna stared bleakly out the kitchen window. “Kate has taken Eli from me. Took him right from the house.”

  Betsy gasped, moving toward the table, leaning on it.

  “You mean she snuck him out? Just left with him?”

  Rosanna nodded, fresh tears on her cheeks.

  Betsy was stunned. What a wretched thing!

  “I don’t know what to do!” Rosanna wailed. “Elias is off somewhere with the buggy.”

  “Did Kate say anything? Leave a note?”

  “No. She walked out with Eli while I was down in the basement. I should have known. I should have watched over him better. Maybe I’m not a fit mother . . . maybe that’s why—”

  “Nonsense, Rosanna. You’re a perfectly loving mother. This is Kate’s fault, not yours. How long ago did she leave?”

  “More than an hour ago. Poor Eli! I hope she got him home safely. At least I assume she went home. Where else would she go? You don’t think she would do anything crazy, do you?”

  As if kidnapping her own flesh and blood isn’t crazy? “Shh . . . Kate may be mixed-up, but she would never do anything to harm Eli,” said Betsy. Lord, let it be so!

  “I’m so frightened,” Rosanna said.

  Betsy remembered how God had nudged her to stop here at this very time. “I’m going to pray for you, Rosanna. For you and Kate and Eli, too. All right?”

  “Oh yes! Please . . .”

  Betsy took the younger woman’s hand right
there in the kitchen and beseeched the Lord out loud to watch over every member of the family and bring a peaceful solution to this most hurtful of acts. “Oh, Lord, calm this mother’s heart, I pray. Give her your peace. Help us trust you with our lives and the lives of our children. . . .” Betsy thought of Rhoda, whom she worried over and longed to see. Could she trust the Lord for her children, just as she had prayed for Rosanna?

  Betsy sped home, dismissing her plan to see Rhoda. Leaving the horse and carriage in the yard, she jumped down and ran into the barn. There, she found Reuben tending to one of his colts.

  “Reuben! The most terrible thing has happened. . . .” She repeated all that Rosanna had told her.

  “Rosanna is completely heartbroken,” she concluded.

  Reuben shook his head. “Kate can’t be thinkin’ clearly. Does John know what’s going on, I wonder?”

  “Who’s to know? But to do such a thing to Eli and Rosie! The Good Lord makes a strong bond linking twins. I’ve heard it—seen it, too—many a time. Think of our own Thomas and Jeremiah. Why, they’re grown men and still they can’t seem to be apart from each other.”

  Reuben nodded, chewing his lip.

  “And think of Rosanna . . . and Elias. They’ve longed for a child, and now to have this happen.” They even named the babies after each other! Betsy thought.

  Nellie burst into the barn. “Mamm, are you all right? I saw you leave the horse and run—”

  “Oh, Nellie. It’s Rosanna. Kate’s taken baby Eli back.”

  Her daughter looked stricken. “Ach no! When?”

  “Only a few hours ago. Elias may not even know yet.”

  “Poor Rosanna!” Nellie turned pleading eyes toward her father. “Dat, isn’t there something you can do?”

  Reuben pulled on his beard, shaking his head doubtfully.

  “I don’t know. I suppose I can go to John, see if I can talk to him and Kate. Might not be till tomorrow, though—I’ve got a man arriving from Ohio to look at horses this afternoon.”

  “Oh, thank you, Reuben!” Betsy said. “I told Rosanna I was sure you would help.”