The Parting

by Beverly Lewis

  The girl smiled shyly, and Nellie caught sight of the tiny American flags on her earlobes. Nellie must have stared too long at her earrings, because Joy reached up to touch one ear and asked, “Do you like these, Nellie Mae?”

  Nellie felt her cheeks flush red and forced a smile. “Jah, they’re perty.”

  “I’m wearing them because it’s Veterans Day. We’re off school today.”

  Nellie vaguely remembered having a day’s break on a November Monday back when she was a student. The teacher had told her the holiday was to honor soldiers who’d fought in America’s wars, so it wasn’t one a peace-loving Amish girl was likely to recall.

  Joy suddenly seemed awkward, looking away as if perhaps she had something on her mind but didn’t know how to express it.

  “Care for a sample?” Nellie offered, thinking that might be what she wanted.

  “No . . . but thanks anyway.” Joy strolled nearer the display case, eyeing several kinds of cookies.

  Nellie went around the counter to stand and wait, wishing she could think of something to say to fill the silence. She thought of bringing up Joy’s cousin Darlene, wondering how she was doing this school year, but then felt she had no business inquiring.

  Just when she thought Joy was going to stare a hole in the peanut blossoms, she looked up, meeting Nellie’s gaze. “I’m not here to buy anything today but because I promised my mother I’d set the record straight.”

  Listening, Nellie did not move an inch.

  “I know some people around town thought your sister was a wild one, but Suzy helped a whole bunch of kids from school. I’m not kidding.”

  Nellie studied her. “Why are you sayin’ this?”

  Joy looked over her shoulder at the car parked outside. “My mother didn’t think you believed her.”

  “Why should I?” Nellie’s words slid out too quickly. Joy would surely know by this that Nellie assumed her own dead sister was as wayward as gossip had her.

  “You thought she was a rebel?” asked Joy.

  Nellie couldn’t admit this to an Englischer. “Ach, I didn’t say that.”

  “Well, just so you know, Suzy was the best thing that ever happened to Darlene.” Then, without saying good-bye, Joy turned and left the shop.

  Nellie watched the slender girl slip into her mother’s car. It was obvious Joy had been coerced into coming here, and Nellie felt sorry for her. Yet she was glad, too, that Joy had found the courage.

  “Goodness’ sakes,” Nellie Mae murmured aloud, rather stunned. “I guess it’s time to read the rest of your diary, Suzy . . . ain’t so?”

  CHAPTER 34

  Nellie Mae raised the bed mattress and tugged on Suzy’s diary. She would give it one more look, hoping to find something good in her sister’s story. Even so, she dreaded wading through more of the muck and mire of Suzy’s Rumschpringe.

  Flipping through the pages, well past the spot where she’d given up before, Nellie began to read again, hoping to find something good this time.

  Today I spotted a weasel’s footprints in the mud along the stream on the other side of the road. Of course I had to follow them. Such natural things are so appealing.

  Honestly, it’s like there are two of me. . . .

  Suzy’s work boots squished in the moist soil along the creek as she followed the footprints, wondering where they might lead. She had wandered away from the house, wishing Nellie might come exploring with her, but there were customers, so Suzy didn’t bother to ask. She followed the weasel’s footprints all the way through the expanse of field adjacent to the neighbors’ land.

  As she did so, she pondered the weasel-like way Jay Hess had behaved in recent weeks. She had not seen this side of him before—a spoiled child throwing a tantrum . . . and all because he couldn’t have his way with her.

  To top things off, she’d happened upon some clean-cut boys passing out invitations to a “lively meeting,” as they called it. Truly a temptation it was, especially since the invitation came from the tall blond boy, Christian Yoder. His face reminded her of someone, though she couldn’t place who. She supposed if he hadn’t been so nice and talkative, she might not have accepted.

  Naturally she knew better than to tell Jay of her Friday evening plans, lest he fly into a rage as he did if she so much as looked at another fellow. She’d wished he’d play by some of his own rules, since he flirted with other girls till the cows came home. She surprised herself by looking forward to an evening without him.

  When that Friday evening arrived, Suzy slipped away after supper to the meeting, taking the pony cart. There were lots of young people—English and Plain—in attendance. Not many were in Amish dress like she was.

  She’d noticed before merely in passing how pretty the Tel Hai campgrounds were. The cedarwood tabernacle building, with its open sides, drew her as she walked in behind a group of distinctly Mennonite girls, their hair combed straight back and topped by their cup-shaped, pleated white head coverings.

  The music was as lively as Christian had said it would be—and inspiring. A young evangelist wearing a black suit shared God’s words, fervently urging repentance. Hundreds were present, including many couples and families sitting in lawn chairs—even buggies parked along the road so their occupants could listen in. Folk were transfixed by the sober words coming from the young minister, and many wiped their eyes, brushing back tears.

  Suzy sat upright, captivated by the passion emanating from the preacher behind the wooden pulpit positioned in the center of the long platform. She was amazed to see dozens of weeping people rushing to the timber altar at the end of the sermon . . . and so many teenagers gripping hands, leading friends to the front.

  Suzy couldn’t miss Christian in his yellow shirt. He sat nearby with three other young men, all apparently without girlfriends. None of them responded to the call at the altar, so Suzy assumed they were already among the “saved.” Christian held his Bible open to share with the boy seated next to him, occasionally bowing his head in prayer as the evangelist addressed the group kneeling at the front.

  With a name like Christian, he must be from a Plain back ground, she guessed, but his loud shirt indicated otherwise. Unless he’s as unruly as I am. But she doubted a wayward boy would be promoting an event like this—a church service in a lovely, peaceful setting like none she’d ever been to.

  The evangelist left the pulpit to walk back and forth. “Listen to the Bible: ‘These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.’ Notice the words ‘that ye may know.’ ”

  I want to know.

  Suzy thought of her boyfriend—his reckless behavior, the wild friends she and Jay ran with. Then she thought of her family, steeped in tradition. Were they all lost, as this preacher declared? What did the Good Book really say?

  She clenched her hands, repressing her desire to get up and walk to the front, rejecting what the evangelist called “the convicting power of God.” With tears threatening to spill down her cheeks, she rose and slipped out the back.

  The next day, she wandered off to the wooded area beyond the paddock after chores, watching for springtime birds.

  Everywhere she looked, she saw God’s handiwork. The truth of His creation surrounded her; even the cross-shaped limbs on the oldest oak tree reminded her of the young minister’s sermon. “Nailed to a tree, the Savior died for you. Because of His life sacrifice, you can have salvation in His name.”

  She thought again of the tearstained faces of the young people rushing to the altar, their obvious relief and joy after they prayed with the evangelist. Maybe the boyish preacher really did know what he was talking about.

  Although she’d always sensed it, Suzy saw a fundamental order in the woods this day, from the tallest, most stately tree to the smallest woodland mouse.

  Order is everywhere, she thought, spotting a grouping of tulip poplars, or whitewood trees, as Dat
called them. Their highest branches swept together in one direction, and they made the maples and oaks seem small.

  Why, God even directs the smallest sprout in and out of dormancy, she thought as she walked, embracing the beauty and grateful to have heard such wonderful-good news of God’s love. The words of the young preacher persisted in her memory. “Read for yourself—don’t take my word for it,” he’d said.

  Wavering back and forth, Suzy struggled, knowing she was at a crossroads. Either she could continue down her present path with Jay and his friends, or she could grab hold of the Savior’s hand and come out of the darkness.

  She longed to know this Jesus the preacher had talked about. Her whole life, she’d never heard such things.

  Jay caught up with Suzy on Tuesday when she was running errands in town. He asked where she’d kept herself on Friday night and why she hadn’t shown up at the appointed spot. She invited him to come along with her to hear “something truly good” but stopped short of saying it was a church gathering, hoping to win him over by telling about the exciting music.

  When he asked where this cool place was, she said east of Route 10 on Beaver Dam Road. He must have put it together, because he sneered and said, “You must think I’m stupid, Suzy. I wouldn’t be caught dead with a bunch of fanatics.”

  “Then you won’t be seein’ me anymore!” She turned on her heel and started to leave.

  At that Jay began to ridicule her fiercely, gouging her with every conceivable slur. She had never expected this kind of treatment from someone who had once claimed to love her. Now she doubted he had ever cared for her at all.

  When later Darlene asked if she’d broken it off with Jay, Suzy admitted she had. As much as she wanted to have a boyfriend, the tug toward the rustic tabernacle was stronger.

  As the week wore on, Suzy sneaked peeks at Dat’s English Bible, folding slips of paper into it to mark her place—especially in the New Testament, where her father wouldn’t see them. She found several of the verses the evangelist had referred to and copied them carefully in her diary. She was eager to learn more, but her loss of Jay was in the back of her mind. She thought of all the pieces of her heart she’d given him, wishing she could do most anything to have them back.

  While Suzy wanted to share her loss with her closest sister, she didn’t tell Nellie what was happening, fearful Nellie wouldn’t understand—not when the boy involved was English. And not when her heart was being pulled in a new, equally forbidden direction . . . away from what she’d always been taught.

  How she wished her family had more religious understanding. As far as she could tell, they merely lived in accordance with the teachings of their ancestors. Sure, Dat and Mamma took the family to Preaching every other Sunday, but it felt to Suzy that they were simply putting in their three hours. There was no talk of a relationship with God’s Son, no urgency toward Christ. No, the way they were going, bound by the rules of the church and the bishop, nothing apart from a divine miracle could save her family.

  They’re lost to tradition.

  That second Friday evening at the tabernacle, Suzy was one of the first to walk “the sinner’s aisle.” Even though the minister was older this time, and possibly wiser, the message was the same. “God’s promise of salvation can be trusted,” he stated. “It is clear—‘Verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.’ ”

  No condemnation . . . She wept, thinking of this. Lord Jesus, I trust in you as my Savior today, Suzy prayed from her heart. She rose from the altar with tears on her face.

  The very next day she set out to share her new faith with her English friends, inviting Darlene to go to the Honey Brook Restaurant to have ice cream. Darlene immediately agreed—a surprise, since she typically had been reluctant to spend any time at all with those she called “goodygoodies.”

  “You’re not happy with the way your life’s goin’, are ya?” she asked Darlene.

  Tears sprang to her friend’s eyes.

  “Won’t you come with me to the meetings?” Suzy asked.

  “I can’t.”

  “You won’t be sorry,” she urged. “Just this once?”

  Darlene shook her head. “I’m into things you can’t begin to know about.”

  “Well, I don’t have to . . . and God already does.”

  They talked together till their ice cream was nearly soup. Even though Darlene had refused her invitation, Suzy prayed she might change her mind.

  At the next revival meeting, Christian Yoder noticed Suzy and went to sit with her. They got to talking, and it turned out he was Rebekah Yoder’s second cousin, Christian’s family having left the Amish decades ago. Soon Suzy had met his siblings—all boys—and their friends, finding fulfillment in the wholesome company of this brand-new group.

  As her life began its compelling new chapter, Suzy spent quite a lot of time praying, asking God to bring her family to salvation. “Whatever it takes for them to come to you, Lord, I am willin’.” She longed for her family to experience this rebirth, and she made a point of praying nightly for them over in James’s former bedroom, the most secluded spot in the house.

  A few weeks later, Darlene stopped her on the street. “Do you have time for a soda?” she asked. Suzy nodded, and when they’d settled into a booth at the restaurant, Darlene broke down and revealed how hopeless her life was. “I’ve been watching you lately, Suzy, and . . . whatever you’ve got, I want it,” she admitted.

  Suzy could hardly walk for flying. God was already answering her prayers!

  She even had a new boyfriend—Christian’s brother Zachary. Zach’s goal in life was to make it to the mission field, an idea that appealed greatly to Suzy.

  It was Zach’s idea for their entire group to go out row boating on Saturday afternoon, June ninth. Suzy decided it would be the perfect opportunity for Nellie Mae to meet the Yoder brothers. Truly, she had no reason to be ashamed of this circle of friends.

  When Suzy invited Nellie to go along, asking on behalf of Christian, she was surprised at her sister’s strong disinterest. Nellie was obviously put out, even defensive toward the suggestion, and Suzy wondered if perhaps her sister had a beau she didn’t know about. They argued about Suzy’s plans, Nellie huffing about the room, saying, “It doesn’t look right for you to be runnin’ with a group of mostly boys—and Englischers, too—for pity’s sake! What are you thinkin’, Suzy?”

  “But the boys are all brothers, and there’ll be girls along, too. I thought it was kind of Zach’s brother to offer to pair up with you. It would be just as friends. He’s ever so nice . . . his name’s Christian, and he certainly is that.”

  “I don’t accept blind dates,” Nellie replied, frowning. “’Specially not with worldly boys.”

  Suzy had known it was rather optimistic to hope Nellie might join them, but she’d honestly hoped—and prayed—her sister might say yes. She was completely taken with the idea of getting her sister out on the water, surrounded by her believer-friends. After all, Jesus had taught His disciples in a boat out on the Sea of Galilee, hadn’t He? Honestly, she felt called to this day.

  If only Nellie Mae hadn’t gone and spoiled things by being ever so stubborn!

  Nellie rose, the diary clasped tightly to her chest. She didn’t know what to think, yet the tears flowed all the same. Suzy ran wild for a time but found something far better in the very strange beliefs our own bishop preaches against, she thought.

  It was impossible to disregard Suzy’s zeal. And to think that God had seemed to answer Suzy’s constant prayers for Dat and Mamma . . . why, nearly the whole family looked to be headed down that selfsame path.

  Whatever it takes, Lord, Suzy had prayed.

  Nellie stopped for a moment and looked at the diary in her hands. Had Suzy unknowingly offered up her own life for her family? Was such a thing even possible?

  Lo and behold . . . she knew.
Dat’s and Mamma’s grief over Suzy’s death had opened their hearts wide. They had feared the worst possible loss—everlasting punishment for their youngest. If what Dat and Mamma believed was right, then Suzy was with the Lord. Oh, to think . . .

  Nellie moved to the window, opening to the last page of the diary. She brushed her tears away so she could see the words, the final writings of a girl who had fallen in love with God’s Son.

  I wish Nellie and I hadn’t fought this morning. I wish she would change her mind and go along with Zach and me and the others. She wouldn’t have liked Jay and his friends, I know that. But my new brothers and sisters, so to speak? There’s no question she would be ever so fond of them.

  Maybe someday she’ll meet the Yoders . . . in God’s good time.

  Ach, but I love Nellie Mae. She’s simply acting like a big sister, trying to keep me safe—always worried about appearances, and all.

  So it’s all right. I forgive Nellie, dear sister of mine.

  Nellie cried, unable to stop the tears. “Oh, Suzy, how I wish now I’d gone. I didn’t know it was so important to you, that these weren’t the reckless Englischers the grapevine whispered about.” Her shoulders shook as regret once again engulfed her. “I’ll never understand why you went boating in such deep waters without a life jacket. . . . I would’ve made sure you had one.”

  Nellie threw herself on the bed and wept, with every sob slowly releasing the guilt that had bound her. Suzy’s precious, life-giving words echoed in her mind: It’s all right. I forgive Nellie. . . .

  CHAPTER 35

  At first light Tuesday, Bishop Joseph held a meeting in the barn between those who were “causing a nuisance” and a group of men who supported the Old Ways. He’d spread the word the day before, and no matter their opinion, Reuben noted the men of the community had complied by showing up.

  The scene unfolding before him was more cantankerous than any he’d experienced, including the meeting some years earlier, when the church district had divided after growing too large to accommodate house meetings. There had been a heated squabble that day, too, what with people wanting to go with this or that relative or friend.