Black & Ugly

by Styles, Toy

  "Okay, okay. Please don't hurt me. Take what you want," she says as she opens the door and he follows her in.

  Inside the apartment, Markee is relieved. Sometimes he gets certain people who would rather take their chances with him, based on his youthful looks and speech, than give him their money. That didn't do anything but make him more vicious over time. He wouldn't hesitate to pull the trigger if somebody failed to give T. Styles

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  him what he wanted.

  "Where your money at?" he yells as he locks the door behind him while keeping the gun pointing in her direction.

  "It's right here. This all I got," she pleads as she empties her purse.

  "You ain't got nothing else here?" he asks as he motions for her to go to her bedroom and check in there. "I know your folks be ballin'." In her bedroom he finds a few pieces of cheap jewelry and an iPod. He quickly puts them in his pocket and motions for her to go back into the living room.

  "You sure you ain't got nothing else in here?" he persists, excited by the control.

  "No, this all I got."

  "Damn. Where's your ATM card? I know you got one."

  "Yes. If you want, we can get some money out tonight," she suggests, trying to take her chances back outside instead of in the apartment.

  "Naw. Write your pin number down. And if it's not right, I'ma come back and finish you off. You don't want to fuck with me. You probably heard of me already anyway," he brags as he begins to feel himself by taking pride in the crimes he's committed around the neighborhood.

  "I probably did." She smiles since she senses he wants recognition. "I'll write down my pin number for you."

  "Good. 'Cuz I don't want to hurt you." 106

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  "Thank you," she says, appreciative that the possibility of living exists.

  She writes the number down while he sits on the couch and tells her to come over to him. He admires how attractive she is, even though she's afraid. Her tight jeans fit like a glove, and the waist-length jacket shows the thickness of her breasts. He sees she isn't moving then yells at her to come to him. This time she does what she's told. To satisfy his sick, insatiable sexual needs, he makes her suck his dick. Not wanting to do anything but save her own life, she complies.

  He takes a few pieces of mail, promises to finish her off if she ever says anything to anybody then leaves.

  With the ATM card in hand, he goes straight to the bank to take the maximum he can withdraw. Being young and naive, he fails to realize that ATMs take pictures.

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  15

  Parade

  SKY'S HAIRSTYLIST, CAROL, REALLY LAID my tracks.

  I've never felt attractive until now. I wasn't even thinkin' about long weave at first, but I'm glad she suggested it. For two hundred and fifty dollars though, this shit better last. Men have been beepin' at me ever since I stepped out the shop. I even had a few girls ask me who did my hair, and that has never happened. I wonder if my mother will like it. I know my friends will, especially Miss Wayne and Daffany. I'm not sure about Sky, though, but for the first time in my entire life, I can hold my head up.

  Miss Wayne was right about Jay giving me more money. I hate going somewhere with Sky paying for me only to hear about it later, especially when we are fucking the same man. But ever since I talked to him about it a few days ago, he's been hooking me up. He still reminds me that he doesn't have to do shit for me but at least he's doin' somethin'.

  He went from calling me a whore every day to say-108

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  ing it once a week while all I could think about was Miss Wayne's advice, "Don't no pussy grow on trees, including yours." It wasn't easy askin' him at first, but I don't want to be embarrassed in public when I hang out with Sky and them anymore. Remembering that day in the car was enough for me to put my foot down with him.

  ~~~~

  "Parade, don't think you're cute just 'cuz you got that shit in your head. You ain't no better than nobody else. Trust me. Who paid for it anyway?"

  "Why, Mamma?"

  "'Cuz bills are due 'round here, that's why. And, if you got money to pay for your hair, you got money to pitch in."

  "Mamma, the bills were still gonna be due even if I didn't get my hair done," I tell her as I walk toward my room, hoping and praying she won't follow me.

  "Parade, nothing in here is free. You got to pay your way around here."

  "With what, Mamma? I ain't got no job!" I yell.

  "With the same money you used to get your hair done. It was a waste of time anyway. It doesn't even look real."

  "Okay, Mamma. Is that why you're mad?"

  "Is that what you think, Parade?" she says as she put her hands on her hips. "Anybody can put some shit in their hair, darling. Why do you think it was so easy for you to do it?"

  "Mamma, why do you have to bring me down all T. Styles

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  the time? Why can't we get along? I love you but I wonder if you ever loved me." I look in her eyes, searching for anything that would convince me that she ever did care about me but see nothing.

  "Stop whining, Parade. You my child so I have to care about you."

  "No you don't, Mamma. No, you don't have to care about me. I'm starting to realize that's the case," I respond as I lie back in my bed with my feet on the floor while she continues to yell over my head.

  "Parade, please. You just lazy and expect nobody to say nothin'. That's all it is."

  "Mamma, what is it really?" I ask as I sit up and look at her. "Do you want me to be sad all the time?

  'Cuz I am. There's no need to try to make me feel worse. Do you want me to hate myself, Mamma? 'Cuz I do. What do you really want from me? Why do you always have to put me down? Huh, Mamma?"

  "I'm just tellin' you the truth, Parade. That hair and that makeup is not gonna change the person you are. I'm just being honest so when you go out there you won't get your feelings hurt."

  "Why get my feelings hurt out there when you crush them in here?"

  ~~~~

  I feel better as she leaves out my room. I close my door the moment her feet clear my entrance. I didn't mean to let her upset me, but it is hard not to sometimes. For once, I wanted her to tell me that she liked 110

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  my hair and that I'm pretty. Instead, she tells me that she hates me even more.

  I go from feeling beautiful to feeling like I'm walking around with shit smeared on my face. I decide it's time for me to get a job. One of the girls at the shop, Kristal, did say I can shampoo hair for her and she'll pay me under the table. I'm going to take her up on the offer because I can't absorb the hatred from my mother no more. I gotta get out of here.

  ~~~~

  "I did not, Sky. Why in the fuck would I call the cops on you? I wouldn't hurt you like that." Is this the best day in my life gone wrong or what?

  First my mother and now this.

  "Well who else told the cops we went to the party?

  I know you're probably mad because of what happened Sunday, but this is some bullshit, Parade."

  "Are you even listening to me? I wouldn't do that to you just 'cuz we got into a fight. What did they say anyway?"

  "Basically that they're investigating a few people about what happened that night and that next, they'll be talking to Miss Daffany."

  "Miss Daffany?"

  "Yeah ... so?"

  "Sky, you know I'da never told them her name was Miss Daffany. They had to talk to Miss Wayne first. I'm sure they're questioning all of us, and I doubt he said anything either. Plus, he don't know nothing." She's quiet, and I know she feels dumb for overT. Styles

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  looking something so major. Only Miss Wayne calls people Miss before their name. The cops probably thought he was givin' them our last names.

  "Well ... I'ma call him then," she says and hangs up.

  She makes me so mad sometimes. No "I'm sorry, Parade" or nothin', and all of this over me not letting her use my phone. I couldn't. If I had let her use my cell, she would have seen the words "Secret Lover" the moment she hit the send button. Pretty soon I'm gonna have to leave Jay alone. But right now, I don't know how.

  ~~~~

  Speaking to Melvin earlier drained me. I don't want to be with him, but I'm afraid to let him go. Before I even started asking Jay for money, Melvin was paying for my cell phone and everything. But when he touches me, he makes my fuckin' skin crawl. I got to dump his ass.

  "Parade, go walk to the store for your father. He needs some cough medicine."

  "Ma, it's raining outside and I don't want to mess my hair up."

  "I don't give a fuck if you got your hair done or not.

  All you gonna do is fuck it up anyway."

  "Can it wait till it dies down, please?"

  "No. Go now."

  I instantly cry. She knows I love my hair, and she wants me to mess it up on purpose. She doesn't want me to be happy for nothin'. Why? I would do anything 112

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  for my mother. I don't understand why she is so dead set on bringing me down all the damn time. I just take the money and run out the door, praying my umbrella will protect my hair.

  ~~~~

  "Excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute?" this guy asks from the driver seat of a red BMW with cream interior.

  "Not really. I'm on my way to the store a few blocks up," I respond, not wanting to get closer to his car only for him to realize I ain't attractive after all.

  "Come on, beautiful. Let me take you to the store, please."

  Beautiful? Although this is the second time in a week someone has called me beautiful, I still figure he can't be talking to me.

  I move closer to his car with the umbrella in my left hand and bend down. I want him to see me. I want him to make sure that he still wants me to get into his car after he sees a close-up of my face.

  "What do you want with me?" I ask, talking through the rolled-down passenger window.

  "For starters I want you to get your fine ass out the rain." He smiles.

  I look him over real good before just jumpin' in his car. I haven't talked to a man that handsome since Jay.

  If he says the word, I'll be all over him.

  I can't tell how tall he is, but by the way his knees are bent, I'll say he has to be over six feet. He's wearing a pair of sweatpants and two T-shirts. I love the T. Styles

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  way his chain falls against his chest and how he's rock-ing a shaped-up goatee and mustache. And the smell of his car is an aphrodisiac. I smell this scent on Jay when he comes to see me sometimes. I think it's Black Ice tree air freshener.

  "Can I take you to where you're going, please? I hate to see beautiful women walk in the rain."

  "Okay, but don't try nothin'," I say like I care if he does or not.

  We're driving and I notice his hairy arms. Although I am attracted to Jay's body, which is as smooth as a newborn baby, a man with hair always turns me on.

  "So you live 'round here," he asks, "or do you just like walkin' in the rain in strange neighborhoods?"

  "Unfortunately, I live around here. But I ain't never seen this car or your face, so I guess you don't."

  "Naw. I'm here on some out-of-town business, and I'm renting this car because I got one just like it where I'm from, so it makes me feel at home."

  "Oh." I smile, hoping Miss Wayne's honest about me having a pretty one. "What kind of business? Since you're renting a BMW, I take it ... it must be serious," I add, wishing I had not made that comment.

  Sky always says it's bama-fied when girls jock niggas just because of their rides. She thinks it's bad taste to compliment anybody on anything.

  "I'm in the disposal business."

  "What kind of disposal business?" I ask as my curiosity gets the best of me.

  "The disposal of trash and junk that other folks 114

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  don't feel like dealin' wit'."

  "Oh?" I hope I don't sound too stupid.

  "What's your name, beautiful?"

  "Please don't do that. Don't keep sayin' things that aren't true."

  "First off, I don't say shit that ain't true. Now, if you don't believe me, that's your hang-up, but you are very attractive."

  "And what's beautiful about me?" I ask, already sensing a lie coming on.

  I mean, I have a new hairstyle and everything, but it doesn't take away from my complexion or my face.

  I'm still the same ugly girl I was yesterday, only with hair.

  "For one, I love your smile. It's beautiful, you got all your teeth and everything," he jokes. "Secondly, I'm a man who loves chocolate women, so you're perfect.

  And that body. Damn!"

  "You must be one of the few men in the world who like dark-skinned women," I say as he pulls up at the store.

  "That's not true." He smiles. "There are plenty of dudes who appreciate chocolate, and there are a lot of brothas that don't. To be honest a beautiful woman is a beautiful woman."

  "Is that right?" I smile.

  "Yes, it is."

  I'm so interested in him finding me attractive that I don't want to get out of the car. I play with the thought of him being here when I come back. Would he leave?

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  Is this all a game? Did somebody pay him to mess with ugly Parade?

  "You never did give me your name, lil' lady."

  "Parade," I reply, realizing he asked me that more than five minutes ago.

  "Well, Parade, I think you are very beautiful and I don't have a reason to lie," he says and gives me a serious look. "I'd like to pick you up, take you out and get to know you more. I need to get to know you more. You have any plans?"

  "No," I respond, shocked that he still wants to hang out even after having a close-up view of me. Maybe the Maybelline makeup I bought works after all. I can't afford MAC just yet, even though Sky says it's the only makeup that really works.

  "Well, run into the store and get what you need." He hands me a fifty dollar bill. "When you come back, we'll discuss our plans for this evening."

  "Okay." I smile at the mystery man who wants to have something to do with me. "Did somebody pay you to meet me? Is this a joke?"

  He looks at me and says, "This ain't no joke, Parade. I am very much interested in getting to know you more."

  I get out the car and close the door gently, switch-ing my curvaceous figure as much as possible without going overboard. My body's the one thing I know is intact. And if he still wants to be bothered after seeing me close up, everything else will be a breeze.

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  16

  Eclipse (Cannon)

  "I'M ALREADY HERE AND AT work."

  "Good. I left the money in your room as well as pictures of the people you need to see."

  "Yeah, I got that earlier. And just so you know, I work under the name Cannon."

  "Cool wit' me. So, what are your plans?" Smokes asks.

  "Well, I work real slow, but I'm accurate," Eclipse says as he watches Parade's sexy body move within the store. "I like to visit only the people on my list and nobody else. I hope Silver told you that about me."

  "Yeah, he did, and that's exactly what I need -

  something nice and quiet. They're already waiting on me to make a move."

  "I'm glad you appreciate how I work," Eclipse says then pauses, "because I find that if you put people in certain positions, t
hey'll tell you everything you need to know."

  "Cool. Look, your room at the Embassy Suites is T. Styles

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  paid up for a week. I take it that'll be enough."

  "No, Mr. Walker," Eclipse states seriously, "that will not be enough. I'll move as quickly as possible, but I don't get started until the second or third week."

  "Well, how much you intend on charging me, man?" Smokes asks, sensing he's a rip-off. "Silver said you're expensive but damn."

  "Mr. Walker, I'm a professional," he articulates slowly. "You're paying for the job to be done right and in order for me to do that, I must go undetected. That's why I've been in business so long. I still have victims'

  relatives calling me now. You know why?" he asks then pauses. "Because they consider me family. Now, if I go in a situation asking a bunch of questions, I'll draw attention to myself - unnecessary attention - and I can't have that. I befriend them, find out what I need to know then do what I do best. I'll leave knowing everything about them while they'll know nothing about me."

  Smokes is quiet but he appreciates his seriousness concerning handling business. He still thinks he's too expensive, but at this time there is nothing he can do.

  Eclipse has already started working.

  "And my prices are standard," he continues.

  "Fifteen thousand and fifty dollars, not including my expenses."

  "And fifty dollars? What's the fifty dollars for?"

  "For something else that just came up. I can tell you, with me coming out from Texas, I usually charge more than that. However, since you know Silver, even 118

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  though I don't trust him too much, I agreed to give you a discount on my prices. And, after seeing how sexy one of my suspects is, it would be a shame to charge you full price."

  "You must be talking about Sky," Smokes says.

  "Naw. I'm talking about Parade."

  "Parade? Yeah, okay. Maybe that's how you like them in Texas, but we like our women a little classier out here." He laughs, questioning his taste. "Just don't let that shit fuck with what I hired you to do."