Black & Ugly
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"Thank you," I responded and smiled as I wiped my tear. Damn! He's fine, I thought and continued to smile. At that point, I understood what Miss Wayne was talking about when referring to them chocolate boys.
He has smooth deep chocolate skin with strong facial features. I bet Sky would not have called him black and ugly even though he's dark. His complexion matches mine to a "T" and in a way, I feel connected to him because of it. He is handsome, flawless and clean from head to toe. His eyes are bright and round with thick lashes topped with perfect brows while his lips are full and extremely kissable.
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"Thank you," he replied. "I can't believe it. You remind me so much of my wife," his voice faded as he spoke those last few words. "What's your name?"
"Parade," I answered.
"Parade? " he responded. He looked surprised. His eyes roamed over my body. He appeared to be study-ing me. As I was about to ask him if he knew me, a woman approached with a crying baby.
"Excuse me," he said as he took the baby from her and held him in his arms. He continued to study me.
"He misses his mother." I raised my left eyebrow. "She passed ..." I felt bad for him because the baby eased up a little but continued to whine. For some reason, the little boy looked at me and paused. I set my bag and my purse on the floor then reached my arms out and he came to me. I rocked him a bit then rubbed his back and he smiled at his daddy. He tried to pull at my hair, but I caught the grip of his palm, rattled his soft, little hand then ran it across the side of my face. He laughed.
"And, your name is?" I asked since I was holding his baby.
"Carvelas, but everybody calls me Smokes," he said. It looked like a light bulb went off in his head.
"Have we met?" he questioned.
"No, I don't think so," I responded as I continued to make smiley faces at his child. "Do you know me?"
"Naw," he said, clearing his throat. "I thought you were somebody else."
"Oh," I replied, not knowing what else to say.
"Parade, would you allow me to purchase that 234
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necklace for you?"
"Uh, what necklace?" I responded, pretending I didn't know what he was referring to.
"The one I saw you looking at before I walked up on you. I mean, you were staring at it, weren't you?"
"Yeah," I said, holding my head down. "It's beautiful."
"No ... it's classy," he corrected me. "You're beautiful. I would really love for you to have it," he continued. "Just a small token of my appreciation."
"Appreciation for what?" I questioned, wondering what I did to deserve such an expensive gift from a complete stranger. "I don't even know you."
"Trust me, I know more about you than you think." His eyes were serious and almost scary, but I trusted him.
"Why you say that?"
"I can just tell what kind of person you are," he responded.
"In that case," I smiled, still holding the baby firm-ly in my arms, "sure."
For once in my life, I decided to let a man do what he wanted to for me. It wasn't like the situation with me and Jay. I wasn't being paid for a service.
When he disappeared into the store, I sat on a bench and the woman who was caring for the baby grabbed my bags and joined me. I was sure he was gonna say he left his money and couldn't buy it for me.
Still, I played with the child, who liked the way I bounced him in my lap, until Smokes returned. He T. Styles
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stepped behind me and I noticed his hairy arm as he placed the pendant around my neck. Damn, he smells like money, I thought. Then, I felt a tingling sensation take over my body. He placed a gentle kiss on my cheek and said, "This is just the beginning." Since then, we've been inseparable. That's why I had to keep brushing Jay off. Although he said he wanted us to be together after Sky was murdered, I knew he could never be true to me. I guess he's the one with hurt feelings now.
I love spending time with Smokes. He makes me feel good to be me, all over. Last night we were laying in his bed watching America's Next Top Model and he dug into a part of me that no man had ever explored before.
"Parade," he said, "as a child, what was the one thing you wanted out of life?"
"I don't know," I said, shrugging my shoulders.
"Come on baby," he persisted. "There has to be something."
"Well, I always wanted a family of my own," I told him without thinking. "I wanted to give a child the love that my mother never gave me."
"I wanna give you that and more, baby." He reached under the pillow, removed a little blue velvet box and opened it, exposing the biggest diamond ring I had ever seen. "Parade, will you marry me?" he asked.
I stared at it for a minute. I couldn't answer him right away. Nothing about that moment seemed real to 236
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me. Where did he come from? One look at his home let me know he could have anybody he wanted. And here he was, asking me to be his wife.
"Yes, Smokes," I cried. "Yes, I will be your wife." He took my hand, slipped the ring on the appropriate finger, then kissed me passionately.
"I wish my friends could be here to share this moment with me," I responded.
"They will be," he whispered as he kissed me on the neck.
"Well, not all of them. Sky won't." The look on his face went from tenderness to anger.
"Listen," he said slowly. "From what you've told me about her, she would've never been happy for you.
Jealousy doesn't go away, it just grows."
"I know," I said, looking at the comforter on our bed. "But she was my -"
"She was nothing to you!" he said, raising his voice.
I jumped and he continued only after reducing his tone. "I'm sorry for yelling, but I hate hearing you talk about her like she was down for you. The world is better off without that chick. Somebody just as scandalous as her took my wife. But, you know what? I believe my wife sent you to me because we're good for each other.
And everything, I mean everything, happens for a reason. Including Sky's death."
"Why don't you have any pictures of her around here?" I dared to ask.
"I told you ... it's too hard for me to look at them right now. Plus, we're gonna make our own memories.
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But first you have to let the past go, starting with Sky." After that conversation, I never brought up her name again. I could tell she was a touchy subject for him. What I didn't know was why. A few days later, he asked me to pick out an outfit so that he could introduce me to his family at his home in Virginia. He wants me to look my absolute best when I meet his parents.
That's how I ended up at the mall with Miss Wayne and Daffany.
~~~~
"Daffany, so what's up, girl?" I say as I tap her shoulder while we are walking toward the food court.
"Nothing. Just doin' me." She smiles, which probably means she's doing the same thing. As long as she looks good and is taking her meds, I'm happy for her.
Who am I to judge?
"So, are we gonna shop or what? I ain't come here to stare you bitches in the face all day," Miss Wayne yells. "I need some new damn shoes."
"You got that right," I tell him as I reach in my Coach bag and pull out the stack of cash my fiance gave me earlier.
"Um ... I wonder where you got that from," he says, "and that ..." he continues, pointing to my ring.
He's trying to finish, and I'm trying to respond, but a sight scares the hell out of us. Here, in the mall, stands the girl who as far as we know is supposed to be dead. It's the same girl whose murder, for the longest, Sky kept blaming me for. And it's the exact same girl I beat down in the mall.
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Me, Miss Wayne and Daffany just stare at her as she looks at us, hoping we don't bother her, but I have to say something. I need an answer. I walk over to her politely but she jumps the moment I step.
"Excuse me. I'm so sorry for what happened a while back, and I'm not going to hurt you, but I do need to know something."
The girl throws her hand up and says, "Look, I don't have time for this shit," and begins to walk away.
"This will be really quick," I continue, approaching her. "I'm not trying to start anything. I just need to know if you ever heard of a Melony Walker?" I ask, since I think it's her name. It quickly becomes obvious that she's certainly not Mrs. Walker, the girl who died at Donna's party. So, who was Melony?
"No, but I know of her," she says politely. Miss Wayne and Daffany draw closer to hear her response.
"She was that drug dealer's wife, wasn't she? The one that got killed. I think his name is Smokes."
"Smokes?" I respond and touch my necklace. My head is spinning but I remain calm. "Thank you," I say, somehow maintaining my composure."
"No problem." She smiles. "I almost didn't recognize you until I saw your eyes. You're very pretty when you ain't beating people up."
"Thanks." I smile back, even though I feel like I'll fall right over if somebody touches me.
"Well, take care."
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home to prove she ever existed. Was that all for me?
Did he want me that much that he'd erase the mother of his child's existence?
As I'm thinking about my problem, Daffany explains to us that we've all seen him around the way.
I promise her that I haven't because I stayed up under Melvin and Jay so much. Of course Daffany and Miss Wayne know him because they live in the streets but I live in the house. She says that he drives a 2006 silver Mercedes Benz CLS55 with charcoal interior. It is the same car I drove to the mall today. None of us made the connection because they used his government name on the news and never showed Melony's picture. Who would've known that Smokes and Mr. Walker are one in the same? I feel so stupid for not making the connection.
I just assumed she was the girl from the mall because that's what Sky told me. At the same time, I'm lost as to why Sky had beef with her until Miss Wayne puts it in perspective by saying although Sky wore a lot of red, her favorite color was green and that she probably wanted Melony's man. Once again, Sky lied, and it almost followed her to her grave. Almost.
Somehow I get my shopping complete and say my goodbyes to my friends. As I leave the mall, I decide not to dwell too long on the discovery that my soulmate had my best friend killed for killing his wife. Did he make the call?
After what I have been through on behalf of Sky, I decide to let it go. I'm not happy that she's gone, but I 240
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have to let the past be the past because there's nothing I can do about it. Eventually I will tell Miss Wayne and Daffany that I'm going to marry the infamous Smokes, the one who killed our best friend, but I know now is not a good time.
Now that it's all said and done, I feel like Sky hid more from me than I'll ever realize. It's obvious she only used me to protect her since she couldn't protect herself. But like my fiance says, everything happens for a reason and life goes on. My life begins right now ...
with him ... as Mrs. Parade Walker.
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