Until We Touch

by Susan Mallery

  “I’m happy to help where I can,” he said easily, knowing it was true. Larissa handled the logistics and he showed up every now and then. She was able to serve a cause, which she loved, and he got to pretend he was involved. A situation that worked for both of them.

  “The family connection must make it even more meaningful,” the mayor said.

  Jack had known that was coming so he was able to nod. “Of course.”

  “You lost a brother,” the mayor said. “Is that correct?”

  “Yes.”

  “A twin?”

  “Yes.”

  An identical twin, Jack added silently. Only somewhere in utero, Lucas’s heart hadn’t formed right. Cells had misstepped or stopped dividing or something. The doctors had never been able to explain it well enough for him to understand. Or maybe they just didn’t know, he thought grimly. So one brother had been born perfectly healthy and the other...hadn’t.

  Jack didn’t want to go there. He didn’t want to remember what it was like to grow up always worrying about his twin. He didn’t want to feel the guilt that came with being the one who never got sick, never felt weak, never wondered if he was going to make it to his fifth birthday or his tenth.

  Jack knew where this was going now. Mayor Marsha wanted his help. Or more specifically, the money his presence would bring. She knew a family who needed help paying for surgery or finding temporary housing while their child went through a grueling but lifesaving surgery.

  Easy as pie, he thought. Or in his case, as easy as telling Larissa what needed to be done.

  “Who’s the family?” he asked.

  The older woman smiled. “Oh, I don’t need your help with a transplant patient, Jack. It’s something else entirely. Are you aware that we have a four-year college here in town?”

  The change in topic surprised him. “Uh, sure. UC Fool’s Gold.”

  “Cal U Fool’s Gold, actually, but yes. They have an excellent academic reputation and they’re doing some work with UC Davis to expand the enology department.”

  “The what?”

  “The study of wine. Our vineyards are doing very well here and we’re starting to be known as a small but prestigious region. We’re petitioning the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau to make Fool’s Gold an AVA.” She paused. “American Viticulture Area. For example, the Napa Valley is an AVA here in California. There’s also Red Mountain in Washington State. We want a Fool’s Gold AVA.”

  “Okay,” Jack said slowly. “I don’t know anything about growing wine or AVAs.” Although he did enjoy a nice merlot.

  “Of course you don’t,” Mayor Marsha told him. “I invited you here to discuss football.”

  Jack’s head hurt from the lightning fast change in topics. The old girl sure knew how to keep a guy confused.

  “You want help with your fantasy team?” he asked cautiously.

  The mayor laughed. “No, but thank you for that offer. My problem is more real world than that. Cal U Fool’s Gold needs a new football coach. Well, more than that. The school needs a whole program.”

  Coaching? A program? “Not my area of expertise. The athletic director handles that sort of thing, in conjunction with the chancellor and the president of the college. There are also headhunters who specialize in finding coaches.”

  “All of which is being explored. However, there is a citizen advisory position on the search committee. That’s where you come in, Jack. I want you to be our citizen adviser. You’re an experienced player, you know what makes a good coach and knowing you’re helping will inspire the group. You are uniquely qualified for this. You’ve made Fool’s Gold your home. I hope you’ll be willing to give back to the community that has taken you in and made you feel welcome.”

  He grinned. “You’re not even subtle with the guilt,” he said.

  “I don’t see any point. We both know you’re going to agree. Sooner rather than later suits me best, but if you need to be persuaded, I can do that, too.”

  “Somehow I know that would involve Taryn.”

  “She is only one of many options I have at my disposal.”

  “I appreciate the honesty.”

  She smiled, but didn’t speak.

  Jack shook his head and knew there was no point in avoiding the inevitable. “I’m sure you have better things to do with your day than manipulate me. Sure, I’ll serve on your committee. Give them my contact information.”

  Mayor Marsha rose and held out her hand. “I already have. Thank you, Jack. I appreciate your volunteering.”

  He shook hands with her. “You’re a scary broad, you know that, right?”

  Her smile turned mischievous. “I count on it.”

  * * *

  LARISSA DIDN’T LIKE feeling unsettled. It wasn’t her way. When there was a problem, she dived in headfirst. If something needed saving—she was there. But as far as she knew, no mammals, birds or reptiles needed her help. Not that she was allowed to help reptiles anymore. There had been an unfortunate incident a couple of months ago involving venomous snakes and Taryn’s fiancé, Angel. Larissa still felt really bad about that.

  She walked around in her too-large office. It was attached to Jack’s. She had a computer where she managed his calendar and some file cabinets that were mostly empty. She wasn’t really a filer. She preferred to pile and when the piles got too tall, she shoved them into a cabinet. Maybe a messy system, but it worked for her.

  This office was something she accepted but didn’t really like. Her tiny kingdom was the massage room at the other end of the building. There the space was exactly how she wanted it. From the color of the walls to the sound system to the massage table she’d had customized to fit her specifications. The linens were soft yet absorbent. She special ordered oils with an increased capacity to reduce inflammation and deaden pain while keeping the guys from smelling like flowers. For Taryn, she had a collection of organic oils. She had music playlists customized to each of her clients and had personally chosen all the robes and towels used in the massage room, showers and saunas.

  In that place, she was comfortable. Calm. In control. But in the rest of her life, well, it was always a crapshoot.

  Larissa shut off her computer and walked down the hall to Taryn’s office. Her friend was on the phone, but waved her in. Larissa crossed the thickly carpeted floor. The plushness was required because Taryn had a habit of kicking off her shoes the second she got to work. She spent most of her day barefoot—something Larissa had never understood. Why buy shoes that were too uncomfortable to wear? But then she didn’t get any part of Taryn’s wardrobe.

  Today her boss had on a black-and-white color-block sleeveless dress. There was a jacket slung over the visitor chair and some lethal-looking shoes by the desk. The shoes were also black and white. Some kind of fur, with wide stripes and a scary four-or five-inch geometric, sculpted heel.

  While Taryn wrapped up her call, Larissa kicked off her own comfy flats and carefully stepped into Taryn’s ridiculous shoes. The additional five inches made her totter precariously and she had to hang on to the desk to stay upright. Once she was fairly confident of her balance, she shrugged into the jacket and then carefully made her way to the closed doors behind Taryn’s desk.

  “Sure, Jerry,” Taryn said, her voice thick with suppressed laughter. “I’m all over that. Does Tuesday work for you?”

  Larissa pulled open the right-hand door and studied herself in the wide full-length mirror.

  The jacket was too small. Taryn might be taller, but she was a good size thinner. But even with it pulling across the shoulders and not coming close to closing, she could see how the cut defined her upper body and made her waist disappear.

  The shoes might technically match her black yoga pants, but they looked ridiculous with the casual style. And they were impossible to walk in. Still,
they were sexy, she thought wistfully. Sexy and sophisticated.

  “I swear to God, you’re going to kill yourself one of these days,” Taryn said, coming up behind her. “You know you can’t walk in high heels.”

  Larissa carefully turned to check out the shoes from more than one angle. “I know, but you always look so stylish. I look like I shop at a resale store.”

  “Because you do.”

  “My clothes are new,” Larissa said, trying not to sound defensive. Which was hard, because she felt defensive. “New-ish. They were when I bought them.”

  “Uh-huh,” Taryn said, sounding unconvinced. “We have this conversation every few months. You say you want to dress better, I offer to help. You promise to set up a shopping date with me and never do.”

  Larissa stepped out of the shoes and handed the jacket to her friend. “I know. I’m not really the makeover type. I like to keep things simple.” She studied her face in the mirror. It was clean and her skin was nice. Her hair was a good color. Medium blond and the only color she used was for highlights, which she got done maybe every six or eight months.

  “Mascara wouldn’t kill you,” Taryn informed her. “I’m not saying you have to dress like me. You could still be comfortable but more pulled together.”

  “Are you saying that as my friend or my boss?”

  Taryn rolled her eyes. “You work for Jack. He’s the one you have to make happy. I’m simply pointing out that about once a month you come in here, try on something of mine and then talk about making a change. That has to mean something.”

  Larissa was pretty sure it did, but that wasn’t why she was here.

  “I need to talk to you,” she said instead.

  Taryn immediately pointed to the sofa in her office. “Sure. What’s up?”

  Larissa sat in a corner of the comfy couch and tucked her legs under her. She angled toward her friend. “It’s about what happened yesterday. With my mom and Jack and what she said.”

  She waited, hoping Taryn would jump in with a laugh and an “Of course no one believes you’re in love with Jack. How ridiculous.”

  But Taryn was silent.

  Larissa drew in a breath. “I don’t love him. We’re friends. We work well together. I like him—he’s a likable guy. It’s just my mom wants me married and I guess I want that, too. Eventually.”

  Because from the outside, marriage seemed really great, but from the inside—at least what she’d observed with her parents—it sucked.

  She supposed that assessment was harsh. After her parents had gotten divorced, they’d both been much happier people. Everyone agreed. Her parents liked to joke that they never should have gotten married. And they wouldn’t have. If there hadn’t been an unexpected pregnancy. Namely her.

  “I could just as easily find the right guy here in Fool’s Gold as in Los Angeles. Probably more easily. It’s hard to date in Los Angeles. There are a lot of unrealistic expectations what with the movie business so close.” She pressed her lips together. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

  “Because you’re doing fine without me,” Taryn told her.

  “Do you think I’m in love with Jack?”

  “I think you have an interesting and symbiotic relationship.”

  “That’s not an answer.”

  “Maybe, but it’s the truth. Jack wants to make a difference in the world, without getting too involved. You want to save the world, but you lack resources. You have heart and Jack has money. Together you make a great team.”

  “Exactly,” Larissa said quickly. “We’re a team. Not a couple. We’re friends. There’s love between friends, but it’s different. It’s not romantic. Like when I needed a temporary place for those three fighting dogs to stay. Jack let me use his house.”

  Taryn’s mouth twitched. “You mean you put the dogs in Jack’s house before telling him and they wouldn’t let him inside his own home so he had to stay at a hotel for a week but he didn’t get mad at you?”

  “You don’t have to put it like that,” Larissa told her. “But, yes, that would be an example of us working as a team.” Although she wasn’t completely sure Jack would agree with her example.

  “Jack’s a good guy,” Taryn said. “He goes along with what you want because it allows him to be connected without getting involved. You like that Jack is always there in the background to rescue you if you need it. You get to take risks without actually putting yourself out there.”

  Larissa winced. “I am not so excited about the total honesty part of this conversation.” She wanted to disagree with her friend’s assessment, but didn’t think she could.

  Taryn touched her arm. “I love you, but I can’t help with this. What you have going on with Jack is complicated. You’re both getting something out of it, but the relationship also keeps each of you from looking for more. You know Jack’s a bad bet, so you are careful not to take things too far. Which is smart. But I wonder if what your mom meant is that you’re just committed enough that you’re not interested in looking for someone else.”

  Larissa sprang to her feet, crossed to the door, then stopped and turned back.

  “I’m not hiding from falling in love.”

  Taryn raised her eyebrows.

  Larissa frowned. “Not completely. I just... I’m not in love with Jack.”

  “Prove it. Go fall in love with someone else.”

  “Not everyone wants to get married.”

  “What does that have to do with being in a relationship? Don’t you want more than friendship? Don’t you want passion and sex and romance and knowing there’s someone you can call at two in the morning and he’ll be there, no matter what?”

  Larissa nodded because it was the answer Taryn expected. The truth was more complicated. Yes, she wanted passion and sex and romance. But if she needed to call someone at two in the morning, she knew all four Score owners would be at her side in a heartbeat, with Jack leading the way. Was that what Taryn was trying to say? That the reason Larissa hadn’t found the one was because she didn’t need to?

  She doubted the truth was that simple.

  * * *

  HUNAN PALACE WAS conveniently located in Larissa’s neighborhood. The vegetables were fresh, the sauces delicious and Jack had to admit they had the best egg rolls he’d ever tasted. As he wasn’t the kind of guy who cooked and Larissa was too busy saving the world to provide a meal, their regular Tuesday-night dinner meant takeout. They met at her place. He brought the food. She provided the beer or wine. It was nice. Easy.

  As he crossed the street, he nodded at the people he knew, or at least recognized. Fool’s Gold was that kind of town. You were expected to get involved. Hell, even Sam was teaching finance classes for small businesses a couple of times a month. Kenny would be sucked into something before long, Jack thought. Which meant being asked to help find a new coach wasn’t much of a surprise. Plus, it was the kind of thing he would enjoy. Even though he couldn’t still play, the love of the game had never gone away.

  He reached Larissa’s apartment building. She had an upstairs unit in a place without an elevator—which was just like her. He happened to know she could afford something much nicer and larger, but that wasn’t her way. She wanted her money to go toward her causes. His money, too, he thought with a grin. But what the hell. He had enough.

  He knocked once, then opened the door. Larissa wasn’t one for locks.

  “It’s me,” he called and he stepped into her small one-bedroom apartment.

  Larissa looked up from the book she’d been reading. “Hi. Meet Dyna.”

  He glanced down and saw a cat hurrying toward him. She had long hair and almost-human blue eyes.

  “You really got a cat.”

  “I told you I did.”

  “I know, but I thought you were kidding.”

&n
bsp; Dyna wound her way around his legs in a tight figure eight, depositing light-colored cat hair on his suit pants with every step.

  “Nice,” he murmured, making a mental note to change into jeans before visiting again, even if that meant keeping an extra pair at the office.

  Larissa stood and crossed to him. “Don’t whine. Isn’t she beautiful?”

  She picked up the cat, who immediately relaxed in her arms.

  Dyna’s fur was a creamy white in the front of her body, darkening to a taupe-beige, then darkening even more until it was a deep brown on her tail.

  “She’s great,” Jack said.

  “She intimidates me a little,” Larissa admitted. “I’ve never had a cat this gorgeous before.”

  “Your eyes are the same color. That’s a little weird.”

  Larissa laughed and set down the cat. “Afraid we have an otherworldly connection? That together we can move objects and read minds?”

  “It’s never good when a woman can read my mind,” he said honestly. “By whatever means.”

  She took the bag of food from him and led the way into her small kitchen.

  The eat-in table was already set with two place mats, plates and flatware. A vase filled with a few carnations sat in the center. The pink petals were turning brown on the edges, he noted. Probably because Larissa had bought them at 70 percent off at the grocery store. You wouldn’t want to waste money on something like flowers at full price. What if there was a mad squirrel in need of therapy?

  She picked up a bottle of merlot. “Wine or beer?”

  He considered the question. “Beer.”

  She carefully put the bottle back into the rack on her counter. It was one he’d brought over, along with the inventory of a few of his favorite merlots. While he trusted Larissa to buy beer, he was not willing to drink the cheap wine she favored.