Heart Fortune (Celta)

by Robin D. Owens

  * * *

  Jace lingered by the bonfire, talking to a couple of the noble advisors who wanted to quiz him on the building and the prospective town. Minutes ticked off in his mind, but he was flattered enough to wait for the last second so he could run to the hill.

  He nodded a good evening to them, and turned to lope away, when the Clover guy caught his arm.

  “Jace Bayrum? My cuz Walker told me to talk to you. About Myrtus Stopper.”

  “Myrtus?” Jace asked.

  The Clover whispered. “We have more contacts with the Merchants’ Guild than the FirstFamilies. We think we have a lead on him, the real amount he got for those artifacts, and some of the people he sold them to.”

  Intrigued, Jace faded to a deep shadow to talk.

  * * *

  At first Glyssa just enjoyed the beauty of the night, looking out at various directions from the top of the rise. The wind from the south brought humidity from the Deep Blue Sea—at least that’s what she told herself. And she imagined she could smell more water, fresh-water, in the air of the northwest and Fish Story Lake.

  Blinking hard, she could see the faint outline that delineated the shape of Lugh’s Spear. Then she turned east again and jolted. The rims of the twinmoons were definitely over the horizon. With a whirl back to the camp, she strained to see movement. Nothing.

  Through her bond with Lepid, she found him playing with the camp Fams—no Fams had come on the ship—in the forest. Zem dozed in Jace’s tent.

  And Jace . . . she would not check her link with him, nudge him.

  Tears rose, trickled. She was being oversensitive, shouldn’t think anything about his failure to show.

  But she’d made a point to tell him this was very important to her. And it was. Her first foray outside of the camp completely alone. She’d wanted to show herself—and him—her courage.

  When was the last time she’d asked him to do something for her, something that was very important to her?

  Never.

  Well, of course he’d been there for her during the hearing on her fieldwork.

  She should definitely not be hurt by this.

  But she was. Deeply. If he had asked her for something, that would have been the priority for her, no matter what.

  And she wasn’t a priority for him.

  Not enough of a priority for him, as his HeartMate, that he would instinctively think of her first, as she would him.

  She was so very tired of bending to make this relationship work—without actually knowing what he thought of her.

  So a lot of her hurt was because she’d not been herself, had been afraid she’d lose him. Instead it felt like even as she was growing in one direction, she was intentionally cramping herself in another, and she’d lost a part of herself for doing that.

  She wept all the way back to camp and asleep.

  * * *

  Dammit! He’d gotten sidetracked, distracted. And Glyssa had made a point of asking him to meet her, something she didn’t often do. Guilt crept through Jace and he ran from the camp. He didn’t see her silhouetted on the hill, but jogged up it anyway. The twinmoons weren’t high in the sky but they’d definitely risen. Hell. He returned to the camp and her tent, saw her already abed, no doubt resting for their trip tomorrow.

  There’d be plenty of time to make up this lapse in romance on his part when he walked with Glyssa along the shores of the Deep Blue Sea.

  He slipped into bed with her and when she reached for him, loved her tenderly.

  * * *

  You are wrong! Lepid said.

  He was sitting on her chest before she got out of bed. Jace was already gone . . . and Glyssa had decided what to do.

  It was going to hurt, a lot.

  And obviously Lepid had discovered her plan through their bond.

  She stared into her Fam’s eyes and replied. “I am not wrong. I can’t go on loving Jace and not getting what I need.”

  Lepid snorted, looked away. I don’t mean that. But I love my FamMan.

  She did, too. But the man had never said anything about loving her. That was the problem. Maybe he couldn’t change or compromise. But she wouldn’t let that circle forever in her mind again, she had to confront him, and today was the day. She’d had it all planned.

  You are thinking that we will return with Camellia and Laev to the Druida City! That is wrong, us going back to Druida City. We belong here.

  Glyssa sat up, held Lepid as he started to tumble backward. He wasn’t a small fox anymore, and she wondered how she’d missed that, too.

  “We don’t have to go . . . well, maybe for this winter, since I’m not sure how the pavilion would handle cold and I don’t think there will be any more permanent buildings. No doubt the Elecampanes will go back to their home in Verde Valley. I thought Raz mentioned a winter theater season.”

  Lepid’s ears flickered. We could go see them?

  “Yes, and not in a glider. Teleporting to Verde Valley from D’Licorice Residence is exhausting, but I can do it,” she admitted proudly. She was the only one of her Family who could—though they shared their Flair and energy with her so she could ’port them all.

  Where is FamMan staying?

  The question made her breath catch in her throat, pitched a bit of acid in her stomach. She had to harden her nerves. Wasn’t she tired of going on like this, not having his love and support? Having no words from him? Watching her step with him, not being pushy. Not being herself.

  How could she live with a man and not be herself?

  Was she asking him to change? She didn’t know, especially since she had changed.

  Lepid nipped her. She’d been silent too long. “I don’t know where he stays during the winter.” She wouldn’t think that he’d stayed with a woman these last years. That was past and done and none of her business . . . unless he returned to the lady.

  And if she broke up with him, and he did stay with a woman, that would be none of her business, either. HeartMate or no.

  Misery transformed to jealousy mutated to anger. She had changed. Because of her career, yes. Because of being at camp, of course. Because of interacting with him, her lover, her HeartMate, indubitably.

  Just how much had he changed? How much had he tried?

  WHERE WILL FAMMAN STAY? Lepid demanded.

  “Not at D’Licorice Residence. If he doesn’t stay with the Elecampanes at Verde Valley, Jace could come to Druida City. He made friends there.”

  Lepid nodded. So did Zem.

  Glyssa managed a chuckle with a clenched jaw. “So did Zem.”

  * * *

  Jace checked on his bond with Glyssa, he found her angry and very tense.

  He should have apologized last night with words instead of actions.

  I’d like to talk to you privately, she sent him mentally.

  Uh-oh.

  The camp was full of activity, everywhere. On the landing field with the visitors there and preparing the airship to take off in a while. Near the stables where Del D’Elecampane lined up the stridebeasts for the trip. At the mess tent where folk ate.

  Swarming people everywhere. And he didn’t think it was wise to suggest the hill where he’d failed to meet her the night before.

  What about the far side of Lugh’s Spear? That little dip in the land behind the wing?

  Fine, I’m leaving now.

  Jace decided it would be better if he reached there first. As far as he could recall, there were a couple of boulders they could perch on.

  May as well grit his teeth and let her steam at him. Though, dammit, there’d be little time for makeup sex.

  He was sitting on a flat-topped rock big enough for two when she came striding up. Neither Lepid nor Zem was around. Zem had felt the turmoil of Jace’s mind and said he wanted to stock his no-time. Lepid was with the Hawthorns for some reason that also probably involved food.

  Jace’s gaze was attracted to her head and her wonderfully wild hair that she hadn’t tucked up into a tight braid or bu
n or coronet like she usually did, and which he disliked.

  Narrowing his eyes, he saw that it was confined a little by a spell.

  She stopped a meter from him, hands on hips. The tunic she wore had the square pocket sleeves, that nearly brushed the ground.

  Drawing in a big breath, she just stared at him for a full minute, her eyes hurt, and that squeezed something painfully in his chest. “I’m sorry I got distracted last night, and that you’re hurt. I don’t like hurting you,” he said. “Come sit and talk.”

  She hunched a shoulder. “I’ve been thinking and thinking about this. Right now you have everything your way. You get sex. You get good food. You get loving from me.”

  “I give sex and . . . and loving,” he said.

  She jerked a nod. “And affection. But I want more and you won’t give me that. I want a HeartMate marriage.”

  He stood. “I told you, I’m not ready.”

  Nodding, she said, “You’re frightened.”

  “What!”

  “Frightened of being in a Family again, that you’d have to change your ways to accomodate others. Selfish.”

  That stung.

  “Just selfish.” She sighed. “You’ve lived on your own for so long.”

  “I’ve scraped by for so long.”

  But she was shaking her head. “And I admired you for your adventurous streak, for following the wind.”

  He didn’t like the past tense. Straightening tall, he reached out for her hands, she let him take them, but they were cool and she didn’t intertwine her fingers with his. “My life hasn’t been as easy as you think.”

  Her eyes, brown and deep, met his. “I didn’t say that your life was easy. I did say that you have grown accustomed to living life on your own terms—and that works when you don’t have close Family. You don’t have to accommodate them, don’t have to please anyone more than yourself.”

  “I want to please you,” he said.

  But she was shaking her head. “I don’t know that you do. You haven’t had a steady lover, either, not to mention a HeartMate.”

  He flinched.

  Her laugh was unamused. “You rarely say it, refer to me as your HeartMate. Call me HeartMate.”

  Putting on a smile, he squeezed her hands. “Getting used to it.”

  She nodded solemnly. “But you aren’t accustomed to change . . . and maybe it’s too late.”

  “What?”

  “You’ve gotten by on your charm, on your friendships. Is that all you want, Jace? Surface relationships?”

  His throat began to dry.

  “You’ve continued to do what you want, and I’ve allowed you to, because I’ve done so much what everyone else has wanted for so long. Obeyed all the rules to do what I thought I wanted.”

  Surprise spurted through him. “You don’t want to be D’Licorice?”

  She blinked fast. Somehow he felt her slipping away from him.

  “I don’t know,” she said. She glanced around. “I don’t think I want to live in Druida City, though. I’m not sure.” She pulled her hands away, stared off in the distance, to the tall forest.

  “Glyssa, H—lover.”

  With her sigh he felt the last of her anger dissipate. She tilted her head so she matched his gaze. Her eyes were liquid with tears. When she answered, he heard them in her voice, too.

  “You can’t say it. You have this scary, adventurous life, following rules that only you wish . . . Situations that change around you, events that might possibly move you one way or another, but you don’t truly change much. I think that I am more flexible than you, since I’ve always had to bend to the uncomfortable demands of loving Family and friends.” She swallowed. “And I don’t know if you can do that. Perhaps it is too late for us.”

  Yes, her eyes were hurt, nearly despairing. But her words had thrown his mind into a scramble to find defenses. And he couldn’t.

  Thirty-four

  Glyssa continued, “I won’t give up my Family, no matter how irritating, or my beloved friends.” Her beautiful breasts rose with a deep breath. “I am going on a stridebeast journey to the Deep Blue Sea. You know that will take me three days. I wanted to go as a HeartMate couple. But I guess that’s too scary an idea for you, too. I think you should stay.”

  “I—no!”

  Her gaze had clouded. “I do expect a lot from you. More than you seem to be able to give. Stay, Jace. Please move your things from my pavilion into your tent while I’m gone.” Another humorless smile flicked on and off her face. “You’re the one with charm, the one people relate to better, so I think you should be the one to deal with our changed circumstances in the camp. I won’t be sleeping with you again, and I won’t have sexy dreams with you, either.”

  Her face was utterly serious. “I understand that this encampment is too small for the both of us, so I will leave on the next airship shuttle back to Druida City.” She bit her lips, met his eyes again. “I’m not sure where I’ll be going, but you’ll always be able to reach me through my Family and friends.”

  Turning on her heel, she said, “Blessed be, my HeartMate, Jace.”

  She walked away and he couldn’t seem to see her. Chills chased heat through his body. He felt nauseous.

  She was leaving him.

  That couldn’t be.

  He caught up with her in two strides, whipped around to stand in front of her. “Wait. That’s not true.” He waved his hands. “None of it. I only want to make a . . . enough gilt that we can live together on my income.”

  She shook her head. “You’re deluding yourself, Jace, making gilt an excuse. If a fabulous treasure was found on the ship tomorrow that would keep the entire camp for the rest of our lives, you would still not want to live with me as a HeartMate.”

  His hands were on her shoulders, but he stopped himself from shaking her. “No.”

  “You have gilt, Jace. You never went back to your village after the trip you took with your parents.”

  That stunned him. She knew about that? Yet . . . no one knew exactly what had happened on that trip. He’d told no one.

  “You walked away from your mother and your friends and your community—”

  His lips were cold. He should try and tell her about his mother, but his mind was equally cold, frozen in panic so he couldn’t think. He laughed bitterly. “My mother didn’t want me. Wouldn’t even have missed me. If she said so in whatever info you got, she lied. As for the rest . . .” His mind couldn’t even contemplate returning to the village, meeting his mother again, even after the fevers of Passage had subsided.

  Glyssa stared. “I heard your mother wasn’t . . . a good person.” Glyssa’s eyes were still sad and bruised looking. “But one of the things you do also is never look back.”

  She wet her lips, but didn’t need to because now tears were sliding down her face to dampen them.

  Jace wasn’t sure whether all his guts were twisted inside him or whether with her slicing words, they’d spilled to his feet.

  “You never looked back at our wonderful fling, though subconsciously you must have realized eventually, as I did, that our connection during that time was more than casual lovers, we were HeartMates. You never looked back,” she repeated.

  He opened his mouth but couldn’t deny that truth.

  “And you never looked back when you left your village. Your father wasn’t a smart man, but he was a better man than you believe, I think. He didn’t give your mother all of his pay. He had some set aside for you by his employer in an account she didn’t know about.”

  That notion simply skewed his life in a different direction so fast that he barely heard her words.

  “One of the merchants you apprenticed with for a while invested that gilt . . . and when your mother died, the merchant liquidated her estate. You have a respectable inheritance, Jace.” She reached into one of her sleeve pockets and pulled out a piece of papyrus, handed it to him.

  Complete disbelief. He mouthed, “How?”

  “M
y father and my good friend Laev T’Hawthorn talked together, looked into the matter,” Glyssa said.

  All right, a little anger to burn away the panic. A good thing. “Checked me out.”

  “Yes, I am precious to them. I’m sorry you’re only precious to me and Zem.”

  Another emotional blow.

  “Good-bye, Jace. I’ll make sure to stay out of your way when we return. It will only be for a day or two.” Her eyes gushed and she whirled and ran this time.

  Ran away from him.

  Women didn’t do that. He was smooth in his affairs with them.

  He stood there, hollowed out, unable to think. Only able to hurt.

  His lover, his HeartMate, had run from him.

  * * *

  She’d taken too long with Jace. Worse she’d dawdled on the way back to the encampment. Anyone who glanced at her would know she and Jace had broken up. Resorting to a glamour spell, she ensured her eyes weren’t red and face swollen, though tears continued to well and her calm expression must look forced.

  People in the camp bustled around. Not a lot of them would stay. Most were packing into the luxury airship for the shortish flight to the Deep Blue Sea. Ten were leaving with Del Elecampane for the overland journey. All of the stridebeasts were lined up, most packed, and most of the riders standing near their animals.

  Camellia caught sight of Glyssa, flinched, then distracted Laev who was turning in Glyssa’s direction. She hurried into her pavilion, changed into riding gear, finished packing, distractedly moving furniture around, shrinking some of it, dithering over the research materials and her origami supplies.

  Her hands would need work, she took a lot of papyrus.

  Lepid strolled in, stared at her, locked his legs . . . and hit her with betrayal.

  With narrowed eyes, his muzzle set stubbornly, he said, I don’t want to leave the camp.

  Glyssa stared, her throat closed and she had to clear it. “You don’t want to visit the Deep Blue Sea?”

  Her Fam shook his head. We can go there lots of times, but the camp won’t always be mine!