He shook his head. “That’s when I said the dumbest thing I’ve ever said in my life. He told me his wife was in the hospital. He’d been with her all day, but had come into the office to grab some things. He was beside himself, saying he had to get to her as fast as he could because she’d taken a turn for the worse. So, not even thinking, I looked him in the eyes and told him I couldn’t believe she’d been stabbed. I knew what I’d done the second the words came out of my mouth. How the hell could I have known she had been stabbed? He hadn’t said a word about that to anyone—only that she had been mugged and injured and was in the hospital.”
Naomi sat up. “He couldn’t have known what you were up to, though. He couldn’t have known it was you who—”
“No, but it sure got him thinking. You know Steve. Well, maybe you don’t; even I hardly know him. He’s so quiet, always thinking and scheming in the back of his head. He knew something was going on and that it had to do with me. I could see he was suspicious, but I didn’t have time to think about it right then. I had work to do, and it couldn’t wait. Everything was planned and ready, so I left as fast as I could.”
“Did you do it? Did you get into the store?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“You mean Steve called the police on you?”
“No, he didn’t call the police. I think he made sure Eric was with Evelyn, and then he followed me. I still can’t believe I never noticed him. He waited until he saw what I was doing, and stepped around the corner to tell me if I made one more move he’d turn me in.”
“Why would he do that? Why wouldn’t he call the police right away?”
“Because he wanted to see what I was doing before landing me in jail. He’s always liked me. I’m sure deep down he didn’t want to have to turn me in.”
He glared in her direction, but she was sure it wasn’t intended for her. “He’s like me, always looking for a way to get ahead. I think that’s why we’ve always gotten along. He made me get into his car and tell him everything. He was mad as hell that I’d hurt Evelyn, and told me I was in for it, that Eric might kill me. I didn’t even know who Eric was, but I found out soon enough.”
Naomi stared at him in shock. The whole story was crazy. “That’s how you met Eric?”
“Yes. Steve made me stay here at the house until Evelyn was stable and Eric came back from the hospital. That’s when we struck a deal.”
“Because you hurt Evelyn?”
“Mostly, yes. You see, I didn’t realize at the time how much I had actually hurt them, what with Eric and Evelyn’s past—knives, you know, and losing their family. Eric wanted to kill me, but Steve brought him to his senses. Then they started asking me about my past and my special skills, and that’s when they got it in their heads to use me.”
“You actually agreed?”
“Yes, I mean, what did I have to lose? We never robbed Evelyn’s store, of course, but Eric works as a broker and has access to information about other stores that are easy to take down. You know, whenever a property is built or sells in the jewelry market, security systems are always put in or redone, and he knows exactly which brands and how to ... well, you get the idea. They said I could live here with them and I could keep a percentage of what we made. Eric was even willing to help me pull off the jobs. I thought they were crazy at first, but everything fell into place. It was meant to be. I felt so guilty for what I’d done to Evelyn, especially after I met her. I still do. I mean, she almost died. It would have been completely my fault.”
His shoulders dropped as he stepped closer to the bed and looked down at her with teary eyes. It was the first time she had ever seen him come close to crying.
“She’s part of the reason you’re alive, Naomi. Eric was going to kill you while you were still unconscious. First he wanted to kill you in the parking lot. He thought it would be easiest to end it right then and there in case you’d seen something.”
“Why didn’t he do it, then?” She imagined Eric aiming that silver gun at her head and pulling the trigger. She wondered if her parents would have cried when she was found.
“He didn’t want to. He was scared senseless, but he honestly believed it was the only way out. I finally picked you up and put you in the back seat. I had delayed the store alarm, so we only had a few minutes before it went off. We said we’d figure out what to do with you later, and we fought back and forth from the moment I put you in the car until I finally told him to call Steve and Evelyn and let them decide what to do.”
“What happened?”
“Evelyn begged him to keep you alive, and I mean begged. She was bawling. Screaming.”
“Why?” She shook her head and looked down at the floor. “I mean, I know why Evelyn wouldn’t want Eric to kill me—kill anyone—but why did you take me in the first place? You really thought I’d seen you?”
“We had no idea. It was so foggy. We had no clue what you might have seen or how long you had been there. Maybe you’d memorized our license plate, our faces, our car, who knows? Either way, Naomi, I never leave evidence behind, and you were evidence. I told Eric we couldn’t shoot you right there. Even a bullet is evidence. So we took you. It was spur of the moment. It was stupid.”
“Then why didn’t you just kill me later? Evelyn couldn’t have swayed Eric that much—to change your entire lives just because of me. It would have been easier to get rid of me.”
He sighed. “That’s what I’ve been trying to explain. You must know by now that we’re not like that. Not really. Eric might have considered it, but deep down he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.”
“But you steal.”
He stepped closer. “Murder is a lot different from stealing, isn’t it?”
Yeah, that was an understatement. “I guess so,” she muttered.
Shaking his head, he turned back to the window. “I’m not happy with who I’ve become. I decided to help them because I wanted to fix what I’d done to Evelyn. I know they’ve played on my guilt this whole time, but I always figured it was my own fault. The plan to help them didn’t sound bad at the time. The only drawback I could see was the risk, of course, and all four of us had to keep out of relationships until I finished helping them. That way no women Eric or I dated could ever have the chance to get nosy or suspicious. It keeps things simpler.”
Goosebumps prickled her skin. She cleared her throat. “So is that why you’ve always wanted me? Because you couldn’t get laid somewhere else?”
She regretted it the second it came out of her mouth, but she did wonder if it was true. She cringed at her own stupid cruelty.
“What!” He spun around to face her. “How could you possibly ... how could you ...?” He gritted his teeth and turned away. “It doesn’t matter now. My car’s packed. I have to end this.”
“End what? Us?” Heat built up in her chest. She felt dizzy. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I don’t really think that’s why you want to be with me. I just—”
“Don’t worry about it. That has nothing to do with my decision.”
“What decision?”
His eyes widened. “Haven’t you figured out I’m leaving for good?” He looked at her again, wiped away a tear on his cheek, and sat down next to her on the bed. He was close enough to take her into his arms, but he didn’t. She almost backed away from him.
“Wouldn’t Eric eventually let you leave, anyway? Aren’t you almost finished helping them? They have what they want now.”
“Yes, but that’s not the point, is it? You’ve changed everything.”
“You can’t leave,” she pleaded. “None of what you’ve told me changes how I feel about you.”
He leaned forward and took her face into his hands. “I was hoping it wouldn’t, but this can’t work. I want to change, but I’m not sure how. I mean, stealing property is one thing, but stealing you—that’s completely different. I was okay with it for a long time, but I can’t live the rest of my life with someone I’m responsible for kidnapping. We would
never be free, Naomi.”
Kidnapping. She moved away from him. “No, that’s not the way it is now. I want to be here. I’m old enough to decide for myself. I can stay with you if I want.”
She looked him directly in the eyes as the words formed on her tongue—those sweet, delectable words she had never said to anyone. “I love you, Jesse.”
He looked at her with tenderness, but gave no response. The dizziness worsened. Why wouldn’t he tell her he loved her? He had never said it, not once. “I want to stay with you,” she whimpered. “It’s my decision.”
He looked away. “No, it’s not your decision. It’s never been your decision.” Standing, he tensed the muscles in his arms. “I was looking at you a while ago, lying in bed. The only thing I want to do is protect you because I ... I ....” He glanced at the clock. “I’m getting you out of here.”
The air around Naomi turned to stone. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. “Wh-what did you say?”
“I’m taking you with me. I wasn’t going to at first. I was just going to move out in order to remove myself from the temptation of staying with you, but I can’t.” He looked at her bedroom door as if Eric might burst in any second. “I’m not abandoning you. This is for you more than anything.”
She found air again as she processed what was happening. “But what will happen?” She could hardly force the words out of her mouth as she thought about everything leaving would involve. “How long will we hide?”
“Hide?” His eyes widened. “Haven’t you been listening to me? I’m letting you go, not running away with you.” He stood from the bed and looked around. “You probably can’t take much. The police will confiscate it anyway, so get dressed and grab your shoes and we’ll—”
“I don’t have any shoes.”
He turned to her, surprise on his face. She realized he knew very well she didn’t have any shoes, but he must have forgotten. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“Or did you keep my shoes from when you took me?” She still couldn’t say the word “kidnap.”
“I’m pretty sure they’re in Eric’s room, or maybe Evelyn’s, I don’t know.
“My camera?”
“Same.”
Her heart pounded. The whole plan was insane. “Are you really serious about this? Eric will come after you—after me. He’ll be furious.”
He looked hard into her eyes, his face cold. “That’s why I’m turning them in.”
“What!” She lowered her voice to a whisper, keenly aware that Steve and Evelyn were asleep in the next room over. Throwing her covers aside, she stood and faced him. He towered over her. “You can’t turn them in,” she whispered.
“Do you want Eric coming after you? Think about it.”
“Do you really think he would?” she asked, double-guessing herself. “Maybe he wouldn’t. Evelyn would stop him.” Her throat constricted again at the thought of Evelyn in a prison cell. “She loves me.”
“She wouldn’t stop him from coming after me, the one who started all this shit.” He grabbed her shoulders. “No, this is what I’ve decided, and you’re coming with me. Get dressed and let’s go.”
“Jesse, I—”
“I said get dressed. Now.” His grip hardened, and she knew there was no choice but to go with him. For once, he was forcing her.
She dressed quickly, her mind spinning. What would happen to the others? Would the police break down the door? How would Jesse turn them in without incriminating himself? He couldn’t possibly be thinking about turning himself in! She looked up at him as she pulled on her jeans. “So you’re going to run?”
He nodded. His face wasn’t exactly panicked, but she did see fear in his eyes. Somehow, she knew it wasn’t for him, but for her.
“I know I should turn myself in,” he said with a crack in his voice, “but they are the ones who deserve to be locked up.” He motioned toward Evelyn and Steve’s room. “I’ve only tried to do the right thing from the beginning with them, but I’d stand no chance in any case against me. It all looks so bad. I need to get my head in the right place. I need ... it doesn’t matter. You need to hurry. I want to get out of here fast.”
“I know. I’m trying.” She pulled on her pink sweatshirt and grabbed her earrings from the dresser and her journal from the nightstand. The Awakening was missing.
“Where—”
“Don’t worry about it, come on.” He grabbed her hand and they left the room, creeping down the hallway like a pair of thieves. Except Jesse didn’t creep. He was more like a silent shadow, no noise at all, and for the first time she caught a real glimpse of the dark side of him she had feared to see for so long. Now she desperately wanted to see more of it. She wanted to be a part of it, a part of him, but everything was crumbling around her.
He opened the front door.
Fresh air.
Holding his hand, she walked with him down the sidewalk. When they passed the stop sign where Eric had caught her, she took a deep breath. This was it. A few more steps and she would be free. Could it be that easy? It was almost a full year to the day since she had been kidnapped—the first part of February. There would be fog rolling into her hometown if it was cold enough. It sounded crazy that she might see it again, that her life might fall back to where it was before. But it could never be like it was before. Would she even want it to be? She took one last look at the house. It was dark. She saw her bedroom window, and it felt like a huge, gaping hole in her chest. Guilt swept through her, and she felt herself tugging to go back.
Jesse yanked on her hand. “No, Naomi. It’s over.”
They walked two more blocks until they reached his car. He held the passenger door open, and with a heavy sigh she got in. The hole in her chest widened as they drove away. She didn’t understand why she didn’t feel free.
HE DROVE her into Denver, deep into the city, where he parked the car across the street from some large, concrete and glass buildings.
“I have to leave you here,” he said softly. He was distant and withdrawn, unlike she had ever seen him before. His hands tightened around the steering wheel as he nodded across the street.
“That’s the police station. They’ll take care of you. You’ll be safe with them. You’ll see your parents again.”
She stared at the wide concourse in front of the building, at the few lamps over pine trees and benches. She started to cry, muttering something about not wanting to go home, and he waited for her to finish.
“You’re going to have a hard time getting over this—over everything we’ve done to you,” he said in a cold voice. “But you will eventually.”
She knew he was turning himself off to dull the pain. This wasn’t him. Harsh. Withdrawn. He wouldn’t even look at her.
“I’ll never get over this,” she said, staring down at the journal in her lap.
“Yes you will.”
The tears started. No way around them. She loved him more than she had ever loved anybody. “You can’t just drop me off and leave me like this,” she said stiffly. “I know I tried to escape once, but that was different. You were gone and it was my choice. I wanted to prove to myself that I could decide. This is different. You’re making me leave you, and I don’t want to. I’ve decided to stay with you. Doesn’t that matter?” She stared at him, willing him to look at her.
He shook his head and kept his focus on the buildings across the street. “I have no choice. This is the only way.”
“Where are you going to go? I have to see you again.” Her tears landed on the journal and rolled onto her jeans. “Jesse? Please.”
“I can’t tell you where I’m going. They’ll ask you, and if you don’t know you don’t have to lie.”
“I’ll see you again, though. When all of it’s over, I’ll see you.”
He finally turned to look at her. There were no tears in his eyes. “Get out of the car, Naomi.”
“I can’t.” She wanted to grab onto him and never let go. How could he do this to her? He was
ripping her in two and he didn’t even care. Anger filled his eyes. It seemed to expand through the entire car like heavy smoke. It made her tears come faster.
“Get out.”
This time she sensed that he meant it with every ounce of his being, and her hands fumbled with the handle. Her journal fell out of her lap and onto the floor of the car. She left it there and slammed the door. The gravel of the parking lot was rough on her feet as Jesse drove away.
XXVIII
SUNLIGHT SIFTED THROUGH A PAIR OF white Venetian blinds. They were twisted half open so the light landed on the green-flecked floor tiles in glittering stripes. Naomi blinked once, then twice. The bars of light were amber colored across the bed. She thought they might be warm, but they weren’t. She ran her fingers across the bedding, trying to feel any heat at all, but there was only coldness against her already cold fingers.
She longed to be in her room with Evelyn’s quilt pulled close over her body, the smell of Jesse surrounding her, the radiance of dreaming about Italy and a future of happiness.
That was impossible now.
Now there was a stiff sheet spread over her, the smell of iodine and bleach, and the beeping heart monitors somewhere outside the door. She closed her eyes and fought back a wave of panic, remembering the moment she had stepped into the police station and told the drowsy-looking woman at the front desk who she was and what had happened. The woman had looked at her with eyes that got bigger and bigger until she called for an officer who immediately took Naomi to a room and asked her a hundred questions. Then they had brought her here to the hospital. It would be the third time in an hour that she was going to relive it all. Only now she was alone. No one was holding her hand, writing down her few awkward sentences, telling her everything was okay.
She pulled her knees to her chest and listened to a conversation through the open door behind her. The woman’s voice was irritated but hushed, obviously trying not to bother her. Too late. They had told her they would be right back, but she wished they would leave for good. They were no help at all, asking her to take off all her clothes, pull on a hospital gown, and lie on a table with her legs spread wide open so a doctor could poke and prod and examine her for evidence and her own safety and health. She had told him it was fine and she understood, but she had never been so embarrassed in her entire life, even when Eric had stood in the motel bathroom while she peed. All she could do was sob and whimper. Everybody seemed upset with her.
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