“It’s your classic Stockholm case,” the woman said out in the hallway.
“There’s the man she keeps mentioning,” a gruff man’s voice replied. He sounded irritated, and that made Naomi curl into a tighter ball. “The anonymous caller gave all the information on how to find the others, but not him. She must know something about where he’s gone, Steph. The longer we wait the less likely—”
“You think I don’t know that? Here, sign this, this, and this. I’m going to ask her a few more questions then we need to get going. Amy from the DCCV will be here soon. She’s better at this.”
Naomi closed her eyes. She would never tell them what was going through her mind. It was none of their damn business. She squeezed her fists so tightly her knuckles grew white. Jesse could hide from them forever, right? She certainly wouldn’t help them find him.
SHE HAD no idea what the DCCV was. Nobody bothered explaining it to her. She guessed it was some sort of counseling center, and this Amy person was sent over to weasel more information out of her.
“Is it alright if I ask you some questions?”
Naomi sat up in the hospital bed and nodded. People had been asking her that question all morning. Of course it was okay. But it didn’t mean she would give answers.
Amy smiled. She wasn’t the only one in the room. Nurses occasionally came in and out. One of them took another blood sample. Another checked her eyes for the fifth time. Sitting in one corner was a tired looking Asian man from the FBI.
“Is it alright if Agent Huang writes down what you say?” Amy asked kindly. “I know this is informal, but we’d like to try to understand what situation you were in while it’s still fresh in your mind. Does that make sense?”
She nodded again. Amy had spent the last half hour gaining her trust by talking to her in sweet, hushed whispers, telling her why she was feeling panicked, confused, and alone. So even though Naomi wasn’t going to give her any more information than she had given the FBI agents earlier, she was more inclined to look Amy in the eyes and try to smile.
“There are some clothes in the bathroom for you to change into when we’re finished,” Amy continued. She nodded toward the doorway to her left, straight across from Agent Huang. He was dressed in a tan suit and he held a small notebook and pen. He looked bored.
She turned to Amy and tried not to think about Jesse. Amy had red hair. It was brighter than Jesse’s, pulled into a ponytail of tight, frizzy curls. It stood out in the white room and glowed in the morning light shining through the blinds. Naomi hugged her waist even tighter, her entire body freezing beneath the thin material of her hospital gown. She missed her pink sweatshirt.
“Why did they take my clothes?” she asked quietly.
Agent Huang looked up from his notebook and narrowed his eyes. “They’re evidence,” he mumbled.
She tried to control the panicked breaths rising in her throat. Evidence. Although she was sure they believed her story about being kidnapped, she wasn’t giving them all the details. The police needed all the evidence they could get.
Amy leaned forward and touched her arm. “Just a few questions, alright?”
“Okay.”
Amy fiddled with her pen for a moment then looked Naomi in the eyes. “Who is the person who set you free?”
Focusing on Amy’s pen, Naomi gritted her teeth. She couldn’t tell them anything more about Jesse than she already had, but she also knew they might find out everything about him soon enough from Eric and the others.
“He was one of my captors,” she said, shuddering at the sound of the last word. It wasn’t how she wanted to describe Jesse, but no other word sounded right.
“He’s the one you’ve admitted to having a relationship with?” Amy asked with a soft pat on her arm.
Naomi swallowed. Dr. Reed had forced that information out of her as he was examining her. “Yes.”
“Alright, that makes sense now. You haven’t been very clear about who is who, and it’s very helpful for us to have you clear things up. Also, that was very kind of him to let you go after all this time. Do you think it’s because he cares for you?”
Naomi squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. “No, he doesn’t care about me. He left me. The only reason he’s done any of this is to get back at them.”
“I see. You seem upset about that. Am I reading your emotions correctly?”
Such guided talk. It might be manipulation, but perhaps not. She saw her future spread out before her, filled with counselors and authorities trying to squeeze information out of her. She kept her eyes closed, willing it all to go away. She wanted to be back with Jesse, and that was all. How could he have left her like this? So alone.
“Can you tell me anything about him?” Amy asked.
“Like what? I don’t want to talk about him, I really don’t.”
“Okay, fair enough. Can you at least tell me if it was his idea to initially keep you captive?”
“No! I mean, maybe.” She put a hand to her forehead. Had it been Jesse’s idea? Was it all his fault? He had admitted that he was the one to put her in the car. He was the one who had convinced Eric to keep her alive at first. He was the one who agreed to steal jewelry. It sounded so bad in her mind when she thought of it in such a light. But she loved him. She couldn’t possibly blame him for everything. The others had made decisions too. Eric was the true leader.
“Maybe? Can you elaborate?” Amy asked.
Naomi stuttered for a moment. “I-I can’t. I mean, they all kept me there. It wasn’t just him. I can’t blame him. He only wanted to make everything right.”
Patting her arm once again, Amy nodded and kept a concerned expression on her face. The oddest thing of all was that she truly seemed concerned. For a moment Naomi wanted to tell her everything. Nobody else cared as much. She had nobody.
Amy cleared her throat. “It sounds like there is a very complex story behind of all of this, but it’s going to take some time for you to be ready to tell it, am I right?”
Relieved, Naomi whispered, “Yes,” and fought back some tears. Everything made her cry now.
“Your parents will be here in an hour. Do you want to wait until they arrive before we ask you any more questions? You still seem upset.”
“They’ll be here in an hour?” Her voice came out as a squeak. She put a hand to her mouth and choked back a wave of panic. Amy helped her lie down and put a hand on her forehead.
“Try to rest for a bit, sweetheart.”
She tried not to think about how Evelyn had called her sweetheart. She tried not to think about anything, but Jesse filled her head until she cried out in pain.
XXIX
KAREN AND JASON WALKED THROUGH THE hallways of the Denver Health Medical Center as an officer explained Naomi’s condition. Karen glanced at the generic landscape paintings lining the walls and an old woman in a wheelchair who looked like she was about to fall asleep. Everything seemed so calm, but Karen felt the complete opposite. She was going to see Naomi. What would she look like? Would she be different? Angry? Broken? She didn’t want this to be a bad experience for Naomi—to face parents who had ignored her most of her life. Was it possible to repair such a thing? She remembered walking into the hospital the day before her mother died of cancer. The sharp smell of impending death hung in the air, and Karen knew it would never go away in her mind. It was soap and iodine and bleach. No smoke. Too clean to be her mother, and the smell was made worse by Karen’s anger for the past, for her mother’s careless choices and laziness. Even now it upset her. Would Naomi hold on to things the same way? Could things really change after such a long time?
The officer escorting them through the hospital stopped as a young, red-headed woman came toward them from down the hall. She reminded Karen of Anna with her wild hair. She carried a notebook in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other, but quickly maneuvered the notebook under her elbow and reached her hand out to Jason.
“You must be Naomi’s parents,” she said with a
gentle smile and nod to the officer.
Jason nodded as she finished shaking his hand and moved on to Karen’s. Her grip was firm but gentle as she continued.
“I’m Amy Williams—a volunteer counselor from the Denver Center for Crime Victims. I’ve been helping your daughter this morning.”
She nodded for them to keep walking, and they all continued down the hall. Karen felt like she was about to split in two with impatience. She wanted to see Naomi. She was somewhere in this building, and the mere thought of her alone in some cold room made Karen have to catch her breath. She had never felt so much trepidation in her life, not even before a trial. She had to fight to keep her tears back. She thought about the dozens of parents she had met with in the past few months after starting the foundation. So many of them had no hope left, and here she was with her hope completely restored. Her daughter was safe. Alive. But so many things could still be wrong. She had been gone for so long, and there was so much to fix beyond what had happened to her in the past year.
“Is she alright?” she finally asked Amy, who walked briskly by her side. “Is she ... mentally stable, I mean? I’ve read about what can happen in—”
Amy smiled. “She’s surprisingly well, actually, for what she has been through.”
“I want to see her right away.”
“You will, you will,” Amy said with a wave of her hand. “However, it would be best if you know a few things first.”
A voice sounded behind them. “Excuse me. Are you Naomi’s parents?”
Stopping, they all turned to see a dark-haired physician rushing down the hallway. He introduced himself as Dr. Reed as he shook both their hands. “Please, keep walking.”
“You’ve been taking care of Naomi?” Jason asked as he took Karen’s hand and squeezed. They weren’t walking slowly, but Karen wished she could break into a jog. Jason must have sensed her impatience, and gave her a look that reminded her to stay calm. She wasn’t alone.
“Naomi’s doing fine,” Dr. Reed explained. “She’s been through a lot since the police brought her over here.”
“I heard she was found outside your police department.” Jason said. “Somebody dropped her off?” His hand tensed. Karen noticed for the first time that day that he hadn’t shaved.
“Yes,” Dr. Reed answered, slowing his pace. “You haven’t been told much, have you?”
Jason shook his head. “Nobody’s explained much of anything.”
Amy cleared her throat and glanced nervously at Dr. Reed. “You’re aware four people kept her captive, right? They must have told you—”
“Yes, yes, we know that much. The FBI took them into custody.”
“Yes,” Amy answered. “Except for one.” She looked behind her shoulder as they turned a corner. “Agent Huang should be on his way back with some others working on the case. They were hoping to be here before you arrived. They’ll be able to answer most of your questions, but you should probably know—”
“I’ve examined your daughter,” Dr. Reed interrupted. “It’s standard procedure. She’s in excellent health, very surprising. No drugs or signs of physical neglect or abuse except for a few bruises on her face and a sprained ankle that’s healing. She says both are from her attempt to escape earlier last week, but she’s admitted to having a relationship with one of her captors.”
Karen stopped and everyone turned to look at her. “What do you mean by relationship?”
Dr. Reed cleared his throat. “Sexual, but she’s adamant that any intercourse between her and this man was consensual.”
Karen withered inside. “She’s not pregnant, is she?” The thought made her sick. She looked at Jason to see if he felt the same way, but he looked calm. His hands weren’t trembling like hers. He was handling things better than her, at least. Why did she have to be so weak? She had done so many things in her life, but this one thing made her feel like a brittle shell.
“No, no, she’s not pregnant,” Dr. Reed said.
She let out a heavy breath, but her strength was still withering at the thought of seeing Naomi again. “Thank God.”
“The other kidnappers have identified him as Jesse, uh—”
“Sullivan,” Amy finished for him. “He has a criminal record from a few years back. Minor offences, but still on the records.”
Jason squeezed Karen’s hand even tighter. She inched closer to him. “Criminal record for what?”
“Theft, I think. Jewelry theft?” She scrunched her nose and glanced at Dr. Reed, who shrugged.
“I’m not sure.”
“That sounds likely,” Karen said. “That was a possible theory at first.” That was when they reached Naomi’s room. The door was cracked open, and when Karen caught sight of her daughter on the bed, she yanked Jason with her into the room.
Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw.
Naomi was asleep. Morning sunlight fell in amber stripes across her body. She was entirely different from what Karen had molded inside her head during the past year. She expected to see the same girl she had grown used to looking at in photos. This girl was completely different—almost a stranger.
“Her hair’s short,” she whispered. “Why is her hair short? Jason, she looks so different. Her face, she’s ....”
She was aged. Worn. Karen wasn’t prepared for that at all. She though Naomi might be different, but not like this.
Jason shifted his feet. “Honey, you knew it would be like this. We haven’t seen her for a year. We don’t even know what she’s been through.” He took a deep, shaky breath. “I can’t imagine what she’s been through.”
Naomi stirred and Karen’s heart jumped. “Naomi?”
Her eyes opened and she looked up. In a way, she looked empty, and it tore at Karen’s heart. Was it emptiness or something else? What needed to be fixed? She would do anything to help her, to ease her pain. It was an odd feeling, something completely new.
“Mom?”
Naomi struggled to sit up as Karen leaned forward to help her. Dr. Reed had said she was in excellent health, but she felt fragile, like a bird, as they embraced each other out of what felt like obligation. She had no words to say. What could she say? She hadn’t said anything when her mother passed away, and it was the same now. There was too much pain. Instead, she pushed her fingers into the small of Naomi’s back. She was afraid that if she squeezed too hard something might break. Perhaps something already had.
XXX
3 Months Later-May
NAOMI LISTENED TO THE SEAGULLS OUTSIDE. She remembered the first few months with her kidnappers and how she had ached to hear seagulls again. Now they were annoying.
She covered her ears and buried her face in her pillow. It smelled different from Evelyn’s laundry soap. Not as sweet. She cried as thoughts of Evelyn consumed her. No more yoga. No more cooking in the kitchen. No soft voice and fingers through her hair. No more Jesse.
He was who she thought about the most for the past three months. He had left her shivering in front of the police station. He had left her there with nothing more than his words echoing in her head, just as they were now.
Get out of the car, Naomi.
Her bedroom seemed to close in on her. This wasn’t what she had missed while she was held captive. She didn’t know what she had missed, but it wasn’t her room or this house or the ocean. Since she got home, it seemed the only thing she had done was sit downstairs with counselors who tried to tell her how to think and feel. When she wasn’t being hounded by them, she retreated to her room to sleep. She didn’t want to talk to anybody, especially her parents. So far they were staying out of her way. It felt good to have them away from her. It felt normal—how things had always been.
Sitting up, she slammed a fist against the wall beside her bed. She wanted to make a dent. She remembered how it had felt when she tried to hit Eric and he had stopped her. Now there was nobody to stop her. They were arrested. Gone. She hit the wall again and again until she couldn’t feel her fist. Then she
sank back to her bed and buried her face in the pillow.
How could Jesse have just left her like that? Every part of her wanted to scream at him, but maybe that’s what he wanted so she wouldn’t pine away in misery. Didn’t he miss her at all? She was hoping for a secret phone call, a letter, something. It was her birthday today. She was nineteen. Something special should happen, but she knew it would end up just like every other day—completely dull and wasted. Her parents might give her something, but it wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t really be special.
She sat up and snatched her phone from the nightstand. No calls. Who would call her since she hadn’t given the number out to anyone? It wasn’t the same number as her old phone from before she was kidnapped, but at her request the service provider had managed to restore her old messages and reroute them to her new number. There was one in particular that she had saved in the archives. Her mother’s voice. Her weeping at the end. She had it memorized by now.
Naomi ... I miss you. I don’t know where you are. I don’t know anything right now, but for the first time in my life, I miss you and I’m sorry.
Dialing her voicemail, Naomi listened to the message again. It was strange, because for three months she had listened to it, but still couldn’t emotionally connect it to her mother. She had thought something miraculous would occur between them when she returned home, but so far nothing had happened. It was like she was dead inside and outside. A shell surrounding nothing.
She stared at the phone in her hand, wishing she knew how to reach Jesse so she could talk to him about how she felt. He was the only one who could understand. Then she remembered that she had left her journal in his car. He must have read it by now—all those passages rambling on and on about how much she loved him. Maybe it had scared him off. Maybe he never wanted to talk to her again.
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