by S. L. Siwik
Squatting down next to him, he smirked up at me. “I know what your new nickname is.”
“What’s that?” I asked as I began pulling his body back up to a standing position.
“Princess.” He grunted in pain as I brought him to his feet. “ Because only royalty could bring a Hurley to his knees.” He laughed loudly as I shook my head. “The apartment’s two blocks that way…” he pointed left. “I know how you have no sense of direction and get lost in a circle.” I grit my teeth in embarrassment. He grabbed on to my waist and placed his head on my breast. “Ah, I feel better already.” I smacked his shoulder and he laughed louder.
“What are you doing?” George asked before placing Ben’s arm around his shoulder. “She hasn’t hurt you enough yet? You’re going to keep testing your luck?”
Ben shrugged. “Just tryin’ to get a little lucky.” He winked at me. I rolled my eyes, putting Ben’s other arm around my shoulder to help him walk.
“You can pull your car into my parking lot, Brian. Take spot fifty-two,” Ben threw the words over his shoulder.
I walked into the foyer of Ben’s apartment building with Ben and George. “I’d like to see those pictures…once you ice your balls.”
Ben just kept glancing at me curiously, but in my heart now I knew what needed to be done. Once we got onto the elevator, he slipped his hands off our shoulders, standing as casual as could be. Questioning eyes watched him as he gave a bright smile. “I had a cup on. You didn’t really hurt me.”
My jaw clenched as George chuckled, shaking his head. Ben waggled his brows at me before the elevator door opened, and he stepped off, walking towards his apartment. As we walked down the hallway, Brian and Max hopped off the elevator.
“Where’s Ed?” George asked.
Brian shrugged. “Amanda texted.” We all rolled our eyes at the same time. Amanda texting meant that he dropped everything he was doing and ran to her. Ben opened the apartment door.
Glancing around absentmindedly, I realized that Ben's apartment had changed somewhat since the last time I was there. It was an open floor concept, one big rectangle. On the right was the kitchen, stainless steel appliances, everything top of the line, black granite countertops and the cabinets were all glass panels. It was very modern and chic looking.
On the back wall were nearly floor to ceiling windows, warm reddish brown curtains covered the windows. On the walls were framed record albums- all first editions of his favorite albums as well as art pieces he created. In the corner was a pinball machine and Pacman video game. Next to the games were two guitars on a stand- one acoustic and one electric with an amp. In front of the windows were his dining room table. The walls were lined with framed pictures of naked model women. One was cooking- that was not safe standing in front of a hot oven, holding a turkey pan with no clothes on. The other pictures were naked women doing a variety of things- washing a car, reading a book, showering. His two couches sat around the coffee table, and the adjacent wall housed his sixty-six inch plasma screen TV. His coffee table could be turned over and become a foosball table, and the legs could be raised if desired. It was an interesting custom conversion Ben had made years ago. Right now laying on the table was a sculpted woman, anatomically correct.
I had never been able to ask Ben who he thought of when making this piece, because I wasn't sure I wanted to know. It has always made me slightly uncomfortable, because it reminded me of myself. The woman had crazy curly hair blowing in the non-existent wind, a bit of fat in her naked lower belly, flaring hips, and a big butt. She wasn't sculpted perfect like I expected to see of a woman in my perverted friend’s apartment. She even had a strange little marking on her arm like I did from when I fell off my bike and had to get stitched at age six. But, it was her pose that reminded me the most of myself, because she was trying to cover herself up. It reminded me of the time George and Ben stole my towel from the girls’ shower room at NYU, and then made me get out and plead for my towel back. I was sure they were high on something at the time. I got them back good, though. There was a rumor going around for a while that a skanky girl both of them slept with gave them chlamydia. It took both of them a while before they got laid again by any woman on campus. They never messed with my towels again.
Next to the video games was a small wall with French double doors leading into his bedroom, which held his drum set. Next to the bedroom, was the bathroom- with all the bells and whistles including heated marble flooring controlled by a switch on the wall. His apartment was painted in an icy blue color, but if you took a quick glance you might think it was another color. This was Ben's 'starter apartment'. When he passed his bar and proved himself, he'd be moved to a larger apartment. I couldn’t even imagine the upgraded apartment, since this was the largest apartment I had ever seen in New York, even bigger than Max's. In real estate terms it was an easy million dollar apartment for the size, view, and location.
I could feel all of the men’s eyes on me. Brian glanced at the statue, and I watched his jaw clench, his eyes transfixed on the statue.
“Alright. Where is this so-called proof?” I asked.
Ben walked over, placing his hands gently on my arms. “Are you sure you want to see this?” he asked, his eyes soft. “Once you see this, Annie, you can’t unsee it.”
“I know.” My shoulders slumped in defeat. The fact that Ben was being serious, trying to protect me told me that Ryan’s infidelity happened more than actually seeing the evidence itself. “Is that why you wouldn’t show me last night?”
His calm honey colored eyes watched me as he nodded. “You needed time to think about it.”
I smirked. “Oh, yeah? How was Miss Half-A-Skirt?”
He smiled. “I found out that she was limber when her feet touched her head. I appreciated that talent.”
I scratched my head. “I don’t even know why that’s a good thing. Alright, let’s just get this over with. Then we can all have a beer.”
Ben nodded, and then walked away. He came back from his bedroom with a shoe box. He placed it down on the dining room table, and as if was a bomb, walked backwards, retreating to the couch. I had never heard a more silent room in my life as though they weren’t even breathing. I wondered if it was what a morgue felt like.
I walked over to the box, opening the lid. Ryan’s face, the face I knew so well with that beautiful smile looked up at me. But, next to him was Kelly, his best friend.
“Kelly, Kelly?” I asked. “His supposed best friend Kelly. It was that Kelly?”
No one answered my question as I frantically went through the pictures, seeing them kiss, hold each other. Then the pictures changed to Ryan shoving her against the wall, his body pressed into hers. They were both in professional wear. I recognized the suit, since Ryan had only purchased it four months ago. I didn’t recognize the building, though. These pictures of seeing him just kiss Kelly was far worse than walking in on him sleeping with that woman. Far worse. Before I could tell myself that it was a simple physical thing, because I wasn’t somehow satisfying his physical needs. But, this… it was more. This was spit in my face and made everything that I had ever given him- my time, energy, love, money- worthless.
I tossed the pictures back into the box, trying to keep it together. I was failing miserably.
“Why didn’t you show me before now?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
Ben signaled for me to follow him. He walked into his bedroom and opened his laptop sitting on his bed. “The pictures you saw, that happened last month.” He clicked on a file, and I watched audio and video play:
I heard Ben and George’s drunken laughter as the camera went down the dorm hallway. It appeared in the video that Ben was the one holding the camcorder because George was the face appearing on the video.
“Let’s go see what Annie’s doing,” George said.
“Yeah, maybe she’s got some more of those cookies she baked,” Ben replied.
“Do you know that she put these gray littl
e potpourri satchels in my clothes drawers the other day after you guys complained about the smell of the detergent I used? My clothes smell like sandalwood now. Did you even know they made such a thing? Little scented, grey, silk bag things?” George asked.
“Naa. Man. I didn’t know. But, your clothes smell a lot better now. Throw that detergent away. It smells like sweaty ass,” Ben replied.
“That detergent was twelve bucks a bottle. But, damn my clothes smell good now. I keep sniffing myself in class now. We’re keeping her forever right? She’s always gonna be our Annie, right? And she’ll always bake cookies for us and put nice smelling shit in our homes, right?” George asked and nearly stumbled face first into the wall.
“Yeah, she’ll always be our Annie; we’ll always take of her,” Ben replied, though his words were slurred; it was hard to understand him.
They rounded the corner of the hall way. Ryan had a girl pressed against the wall, his lips trailing down her neck. I didn’t recognize the girl at all.
“What the fuck, Ryan?” Ben shouted.
George grabbed Ryan, yanking him off of the girl. As she looked up confused and frightened, George barked at her, “Get lost.”
She ran down the hall, and they both turned their attention back on Ryan. “Don’t tell Annie about this,” Ryan said calmly.
“Why the fuck not?” Ben shouted. “She’ll get rid of you, and we get her back. Sounds like a win-win situation.”
Ryan ran a hand through his hair. It was his ‘I’m frustrated’ move. “No, you won’t. You’ll just lose her and break her heart in the same moment. She will never side with you even with the evidence right in front of her. I see it in her eyes. I’m her everything. Her present and her future. She’ll never let you ruin that for her.” He ran another hand through his hair. “And I love her.”
“How could you say that?” George barked.
Ryan glanced at him. “Just because a guy cheats on a girl doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love her. Annie is…” He rubbed the stubble on his chin. “The girl you marry, not the girl you play around with.” He let out a long frustrated sigh. “I met her a little too young…that’s all.”
“You’re going to keep cheating on her?” Ben asked. “No fucking way.”
Ryan shook his head. “No more. I swear. Just Annie. I didn’t do anything with that chick besides kiss her neck. That’s all.” He glanced at them, his eyes travelling back and forth. “So, can I go now?”
George nodded at Ryan. As he turned to walk away, George’s fist yanked back and pounded Ryan in the face. “Now you can go,” he replied darkly. Ryan stumbled backwards, hitting into the wall. “If I ever catch you even looking at another girl funny, I will fucking end you. Your eyes are for Annie alone, your cock is hers alone, or you break up with her…gently.”
Ryan stared at them dumbfounded. I watched in horror as his right eye began to swell shut. “You two are fucking crazy.”
“You haven’t seen crazy yet. Trust me,” Ben replied.
Ryan turned stumbling down the hall as George glanced at the camera. “I say we go show this to Annie anyway.”
The two stumbled down the hallway and turned another corner before coming to my door. They knocked loudly several times. The door opened, and I stood there in flannel pajama bottoms and a tank top, rubbing my eyes. “What are you guys doing?” I asked, sleepily. “It’s three in the morning. Is everything alright?”
I gasped, realizing what night this was- four nights after I lost my virginity.
“Annie, you gotta see this.” Ben held up his camcorder. “Take it and watch it.” He nearly fell over from his level of intoxication.
“Jesus Christ.” I grabbed his arms to steady him. “What did you guys take?” I looked into his eyes. “Are you just drunk? Is this just alcohol? Or did you take something else?” I frowned with worry.
“That’s not important. Annie, you have to fucking watching this.” Ben nearly hit me in the face with the camera swinging it at me.
I took the camera from him. “You don’t need to record yourselves acting like this.”
The screen went black. Tears slid down my cheeks as I felt Ben watching me.
“That was the week Ryan ended up in the infirmary for that strange virus he supposedly had, and I wasn’t allowed to see him.”
“Yup. He just didn’t want you to see what George did to him,” Ben explained.
The pieces started falling into place.
“And…those pictures.” I pointed back towards the dining room table. “Ryan’s black eye a month ago. Did George do that, too?” I asked.
“Nope. That was all me,” Ben said smugly.
“He said a crazy, homeless man elbowed him on the subway coming home when he tried to help him,” I replied, remembering that night as I ran to the refrigerator for an ice pack the moment he stepped through our apartment door. I told him I didn’t want him taking that route home anymore until the cops cleaned it up. He was tender that night when he made love to me. More tender than I ever remembered. Fresh tears spilled down my cheeks.
“How do you have those pictures?” I asked.
“I came by to see Ryan at his job…and found that,” Ben replied.
“Why were you going to see Ryan at work?” I asked.
Ben shook his head, his jaw clenched. “Don’t worry about it.”
“You’re not going to tell me. Are you?” I asked.
He shook his head curtly. “Nope.” I saw the conviction in his eyes. I would never know the ‘why’.
“That was very stupid.” My words came out drenched in disapproval. “You could have been hurt. He could have sued you. Someone else could have gotten video of it. You could have ended up in the paper or on the news.” I rubbed my head. “If your father found out about this…”
“He knows. I got that talk already.” He shrugged his shoulders, and he wore his ‘I don’t care’ look.
“Ben, that’s not alright. You have to care. You’re not just anybody. You have to act smarter than that. Did you even think about the risk?” I asked him, though my voice held no heat.
But, his gaze held mine, his jaw clenched. “Of course I knew the risk. I don’t need you or anyone else to tell me who I am.” He closed the laptop and placed it back on the bed with a little more force than necessary.
“Why?” The words came out a near whisper.
His light brown eyes shown with intensity. “Because I will kill that prick before I watch you go back to him. Do you understand that, Princess?” He slid his cigarette pack out of his back pocket, taking one out. I watched as he held it between his lips while lighting it up. After taking a drag, he continued, “If you refuse to save yourself, then you leave me no choice.”
“Ben,” My words came out soft. “I’m not worth ruining your reputation or your life over. No one is.”
“Well…” He exhaled his smoke. “I disagree.”
I wasn’t able to ask him any more questions, because there was a knocking at the door. When I turned, three heads peaked in.
George answered the question in my eyes. “We tried telling you so many times. We tried showing you that video four other times….”
“Yeah, you were drunk every time! I didn’t take you seriously!” I shouted, rubbing my forehead.
It didn’t matter, though. Ryan, of all people, was absolutely right. I would have never believed them. I didn’t even want to believe what he was when I saw it happening right in front of me. I would have likely stopped being friends with them, and chose Ryan after he spun some bullshit story. I wanted to believe in him so badly. It nearly cost me everything.
“We honestly thought that he was being faithful. We didn’t know about the Kelly incident. Not until those pictures…” Brian added.