The Big Ten: The First Ten Books of the Beginnings Series

by Jacqueline Druga

  “Why are you defending her?!” Andrea snapped back. “Don’t you see what she has done? If we forget what she did, we are saying it’s all right for any woman to go ahead and give herself an abortion.”

  “You know I remember when I used to live in world that gave a woman a choice on whether or not she wanted to have a child.”

  “It’s no longer the same world Dean, you know that and I know that. A baby needs to be born now.” Andrea’s head moved about and her hands waved as she spoke. “We have to give it that chance.”

  “I agree. When it’s a baby.”

  Andrea stepped close to Dean, she put her face into his. “Would you be taking that attitude if that was your flesh and blood she destroyed? Would you still say it wasn’t a baby?” Andrea stepped back. “I’m finished with you.” She turned sharply and walked away. Everyone seemed to follow.

  “Andrea. Joe.” Dean called out. “Joe, you can’t do this.”

  “The decision’s been made,” Joe said.

  “You are wrong, Joe. Dead wrong!” Dean shouted.

  Joe did not respond, he kept walking.

  “Joe.” Dean called out with an angry voice. “You better have thought this through. Before you finalize this decision, you better make sure you are basing it on the fact that it’s something you have to do because you lead this community, and not because she aborted a Slagel.”

  Joe stopped cold. He quickly turned around, barreled back to Dean, grabbed him by the collar, and slammed him into the wall. “Listen to me you little shit. Don’t you ever imply that I don’t make my decisions fairly. Ever! Don’t ever do that to me again.” Releasing him, Joe stood Dean straight, then walked away. Enough had been said.

  Dean turned his head to the side, still trying to comprehend what had just happened. He watched them all slowly disappear from his sight and he turned, went back into the examining room and to an unconscious Dina. “It’s out of our hands now. It’s in God’s hands.”

  Dina’s heart monitor flat lined.

  Dean slowly closed his eyes and shook his head. He debated on making an attempt to revive her. His heart said yes, his head said, no. Reviving her would be bringing her back just to die again. He reached up and shut off the monitor. He had lost all the way around.

  ***

  She changed her clothes first, the sight of all that blood would send him into a frenzy before she could even begin to tell him. Ellen did not look forward to the task she was about to undertake. Telling Frank what had just transpired was something no one else could do. Nor did she want anyone else to. The situation was a new one and it hit close to home. The botched abortion by Johnny’s girlfriend. Ellen had to wonder if there were possibly any gentle words that could convey what happened.

  She knew ahead of time Frank was in his office and that was where she went. As she reached for his office door, she took a deep breath and knocked once. “Frank, can I come in?”

  Frank smiled when he heard her voice. Ellen was the last person he expected to see. “El?”

  She walked in. “Hi.”

  “Wow.” He stood up. “This is a surprise. Wait . . .” He cleared his throat. “We’re fighting.” He started to sit down again.

  “Frank.” Ellen’s call made him hesitate especially when she walked up to him and kissed him softly on the cheek. She ran her fingers over the kiss as if to rub it in.

  “Now I’m really surprised. What’s up?”

  “Frank.” She exhaled his name mixed with sadness and heartache. “We . . . we have to talk.”

  Frank knew it by the look on her face and the sound of her voice. Sliding his hand down his face, Frank slowly sat down and braced himself for whatever Ellen was about to tell him.

  ***

  Johnny’s face went immediately to his hands as Frank laid a strong hand on his back.

  “You O.K.?” Frank asked, then looked up to Ellen who stood behind the sofa in his home.

  Johnny nodded and lifted his head. “I didn’t mean to make her do that.” He said so sad.

  “John.” Frank spoke with compassion. “We can’t make anyone do something they don’t want to do. She didn’t want the baby. You getting mad when she told you, had nothing to do with it.”

  “But she . . .”

  “She was scared.” Frank nodded. “And think about it. Can you blame her? I don’t want to bring a kid into this fucked up world either.”

  Ellen’s heavy breath carried in her whisper of offense. “I thought we were doing pretty good with Beginnings.”

  Frank looked back at her. “El?”

  Ellen snapped from her thoughts. “I’m uh . . . going to the clinic. I have to talk to . . . I have to go. Johnny I’ll see you there.” Quickly and without a goodbye, she left.

  “Dad?” Johnny peered at Frank.

  “El’s upset. But you’re my concern right now.”

  “I feel bad.”

  “I know. And now . . .” Frank said. “You have to be a man. You have to go over there and give Dina your support. O.K.?” Getting an agreeing nod from Johnny, Frank gave one soft pat of support to his back. “Come on. I’ll walk with you.”

  Slowly, together, they both stood from the couch to go to the clinic to face a painful truth they had yet to learn.

  ***

  “Dean.” Ellen softly called his name as she stepped into the lab.

  Dean raised his head from his work in surprise of Ellen’s return. He spun his stool to face her. “What did you do? Come here to gloat.”

  “No.” Ellen shook her head. “I’m not feeling right about the . . . me, you, the Dina situation this afternoon.” She stepped to him.

  “You . . . you abandoned me. I needed you.” Dean said with emotions.

  “She was wrong.”

  “Yeah, well . . . she’s dead.” Dean turned away from Ellen and continued to work.

  “What?” Ellen gasped. She reached out her hand to Dean’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.” Her hand touched upon his back and she slid it from him. She took a single step back and stopped. “Dean.” She whispered. “Can you . . . can you just give me your honest opinion about something?” She waited for his reaction. He stopped what he was doing and she knew he was listening. “Are we worse off? Has the world gotten so bad that someone would go to extreme measures to stop a child from being born here?”

  Dean breathed heavily before answering. He turned around solaced and faced her. “Outside our walls, I believe it’s a jungle. A deadly jungle now. But . . . inside our walls. Life gets better everyday.”

  Ellen sighed with a slight chuckle and stepped back to Dean embracing him.

  “El.” Frank called soft yet strong into the lab.

  Ellen pulled back from Dean and looked to the door. Frank stood there with Johnny.

  “Dr. Dean.” Johnny said. “Can I see Dina now? I won’t be long. But I need to talk to her.”

  Dean looked at Ellen then back to Johnny as he stood up. He slowly walked across the lab to him. “Johnny. I’m sorry. She . . . . she didn’t make it.”

  Johnny felt his knees begin to buckle. His heart sank to his stomach. His head spun. He didn’t know what to do, what to say. He turned around to Frank who stood behind him. He grabbed a hold of him, so confused and fell apart in his arms. “What did I do? What did I do?”

  Frank felt Johnny’s pain, every single moment of it. If he could take it away, he would. But he couldn’t. “It’ll be all right Johnny, I promise. I promise you. It’ll be all right.” He grabbed hold of his son, pulled him closer, and pressed his lips tightly to his head. That was all Frank could do. Just be there.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  A sweep of his hand through his hair until it rested on the back of his neck was Dean’s first reaction when he opened his front door and Joe stood there. “El’s not here. She’s sitting with Johnny until Frank comes home.”

  Joe, hands in his pockets, bounced slowly from heel to toe in the doorway, “Last I knew, I thought I had grandchildren that lived here.
”

  Dean nodded and opened the door wider. “They’re upstairs, come in.”

  Joe walked in closing the door after he did. “Dean.” He called out as Dean moved to the steps.

  Stepping back, Dean turned around. “Yeah?”

  “Today.” Joe took a step to him. “Today things happened. Things that were wrong.”

  “I know.”

  “And . . . though I won’t apologize for my anger, I will apologize for my actions. I should have never gotten physical with you.”

  Dean glanced at him with a sudden look of surprise. “I won’t accept your apology, Joe. Because I was the one who was wrong. What I said to you was completely out of line. I have far too much respect for you and should have never have said what I did.”

  Joe extended his hand. “Then let’s call the situation forgotten.”

  “You bet.” Dean shook his hand. “How about I get the kids?”

  “How about I go up and scare them.” Joe walked by him to the steps and stopped on the third one when he saw Dean’s confused expression. “It’s a Slagel thing, you know. We’re all slightly demented.”

  ***

  “A TV Guide? Why in the world would you save a TV Guide?” Robbie looked with a smile on his face to the small magazine he held in his hand before Ellen. The pages were yellowing.

  “Why not?” She flipped through the pages. Her back leaned on the arm of the couch, her legs folded Indian-style. She was comfortable in her little corner facing Robbie, who sat next to her. “This was the last one I received. Look, it even has marked what I planned to watch that Saturday night.”

  Robbie snickered at her then looked down to the box on the floor sitting next to the couch. “Let’s see what else you have in this box.” He reached his hand down into it. “Oh . . . I remember this key chain.” He dangled the miniature slot machine. “I remember this.”

  Ellen tossed the TV Guide back in the box. “How in the world do you remember that?”

  “Why wouldn’t I?” Robbie stared at it for a long time. “You had this on your keys when you had that little blue car. Remember, I was seventeen, you used to let me borrow it to run errands.”

  “Back in the days when someone in Ashtonville was the object of your affection. I felt sorry for you because I thought Joe made you come every summer. Then you got older and I realized . . . nah, you had a crush on someone.”

  “I did.” Robbie’s face turned a shade of red. “I had the world’s biggest crush on you.”

  “On me?” Ellen was surprised.

  “Yeah.” Robbie fluttered his lips sarcastically. “I was crazy about you. It started when I was about eleven. I used to have these little kid fantasies. The one where you’d choose me to sit with and watch television. It was funny. But then by the time I got fifteen . . .” Robbie cleared his throat and chuckled. “They matured. I can’t believe you never knew. It didn’t dawn on you why I was always hanging around you so much and doing all those chores for free?”

  “No. I just chalked it up that you like doing yard work.” A look of flattery crept on her. “Thanks. That makes me feel good. Of course, you should have told me when you got older. Knowing how cute you were, it would have done wonders for my self-esteem.”

  “I was going to.” He played with the key chain, pulled the lever, and watched the reels spin. “I had this big plan. I figured when I turned twenty-one, I was going to steal you from Pete.”

  “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

  “Oh yeah.” Robbie dropped the key chain in the box. “It was a serious crush. I was going to save you, as I thought it was, then I made the mistake of discussing it with Frank. At first he laughed at me. Then he got blunt and told me ‘leave her marriage alone. She doesn’t want you, you’re a kid’, so I dropped it.”

  “I feel really bad. He should have never said that to you.”

  “Oh.” Robbie waved his hand at her. “Not like he wasn’t right. Right?” He looked at Ellen. “Would you have? I mean, you can be honest. Tell me. Say I would have approached you or, even hit on you during one of our alone times. Would you have?”

  “Been with you?” Ellen scratched her head in thought and snickered. “God, Robbie I was having an affair with your brother. But . . .” She laughed. “Yeah, probably, yeah. I would have. I know me. You would have hit on me and I would have went with it. Hell, who would have known. I could have discovered at that moment you were the one I was waiting for all my life.”

  The corner of Robbie’s mouth raised. “Thanks. That was nice.” Robbie leaned in to her and quickly kissed her. “Now.” He changed the mood and looked toward the box again. “Let’s see what else you have hidden in this . . .”

  Ellen saw the ornery smile creep on his face. “What? What do you see in that box?”

  Robbie closed his eyes quickly, then opened them. “I recognize the pouch. You saved condoms?” His hand slowly reached down, but Ellen beat him to the prophylactics. “Let me see, it’s been awhile.” He reached for them.

  “No. I’m embarrassed. I forgot about them.” Ellen held them away from him, waving her hand about to keep Robbie from getting them. He playfully leaned close into her to snatch them.

  The front door slammed, grasping their attention. Frank walked in. “What’s going on?”

  Ellen laughed. “We were just looking at what I had in my memorabilia box.”

  “Your memorabilia box?” Frank unfastened his shoulder harness and let it fall over the edge of the couch. “I’ve asked to see that, you refused.”

  Ellen stood up and lifted her box as she did. “Sorry. I thought Robbie could use seeing it.”

  “O.K..” He rubbed his face. “What are you doing here Robbie?” He asked with edge.

  Robbie, still smiling, ignored the cold tone to his brother’s voice. “I stopped by to see how Johnny was, and we started bull shitting. Johnny’s doing well.”

  Frank nodded, a smile not crossing his face.

  Ellen felt the tension. She exhaled loudly and scooted to the door. “I better go. It’s late. Night.”

  Frank turned quickly as she started to leave. “Wait. Why?”

  “I have to see my kids. You know the ones I brought into this fucked up world.” She smiled snidely. “Night.”

  Frank blinked at her odd response and quick departure.

  Robbie stood up from the couch and stretched. “I’ll leave now too.”

  “Really?” Frank asked sarcastically. “Right at this moment?”

  “Yep. Take it easy Frank.” As quickly as Ellen left, so did Robbie.

  Waiting a few seconds, Frank walked back to the door and opened it. He stood, leaning in the archway, and watched as his younger brother trotted up the street to catch up to Ellen and walk with her. Frank watched until they left from his view. Angry, he stepped back inside his home and closed the door.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  May 30th

  “It’s heading out of hand.” George tossed his hands up as he paced around Andrea’s office. “Henry is usually so fair. Level headed.”

  Joe had claimed Andrea’s desk, despite the fact that she was there as well, with Dean. “Yes he is. Maybe Robbie rubs him the wrong way.”

  Andrea facially agreed. “They may just always clash. No matter what.”

  George shifted his eyes around. “I don’t know. Twice today I got complaints from other survivors about the way he treats Robbie.”

  “What are you suggesting?” Joe asked.

  George hesitated, he didn’t want to say. “Dean. What’s your opinion?”

  “I have none.” Dean stated. “It’s not my place to say because I’m not there when the Robbie and Henry situations transpire.”

  Joe looked up at George. “You’re stalling. Say what’s on your mind.”

  George nodded a few times in debate. “All right. I think if this continues anymore, we should put it to the community on whether Henry should be replaced on council.”

  The screwdriver nearly dropped from He
nry’s hand with his heart as he readied to replace the vent in the storage room next to Andrea’s office. A stuck vent trap was all Henry had to free, lift it and leave. But instead of satisfaction that he got an easy job done fast, he received hurting news.

  ***

  Frank knew Ellen saw him. How could she not? He was only two feet from her desk. He waited for an acknowledgment of his presence and when he received none, he stepped closer to her desk. “El.”

  Ellen actually looked up in surprise. “Frank? What are you doing here?”

  “You didn’t hear me come in.”

  “No. I’m busy with these evaluations.” She stood up and walked around her desk. “What’s up?”

  “I need to talk to you. Last night you left and . . .”

  Ellen, folded her arms and waited for Frank to finish his sentence. He didn’t. “And?” She saw he had focused on the bunch of wildflowers on her desk. “What?”

  “First the ring and now the flowers. Isn’t Dean romantic.”

  “Dean didn’t bring me the flowers. Robbie did.”

  “My brother is bringing you flowers?” Frank asked.

  “Yeah, I remember when you used to too.”

  “That’s before I realized how stupid I looked picking them. I don’t want him bringing you flowers El. In fact I want it to stop right . . .”

  “Frank.” Ellen snapped. “If you came here to bitch, I don’t want to hear it.”

  “No. I came here because . . . because I miss my friend. I miss you, El.” Frank neared her. “Yesterday, it was V-day. We vowed that we would always, always spend that day remembering our kids. We didn’t. Look . . .” Frank reached into his back pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. “I even jotted down my memories that I wanted to share.” He handed them to Ellen. “I needed to share.”

  Ellen began to open the paper and stopped. She handed it back to Frank and covered his mouth when she saw him getting ready to complain. “No.” she shook her head. “Share them with me tonight.”