Joe smiled as he watched his son leave. He smiled because it wasn’t very often that he got to give his son advice, and his son actually wanted to hear it. Joe closed his front door, and stepped into his living room. He paused, looked back at the door and scratched his head. “Did we actually accomplish anything?”
^^^^
Ellen’s face was close to Andrea’s as they hunched over in the kitchen staring into their reflection on the side of the toaster. “Andrea, what do you think?”
Andrea, smacked her lips together. “Definitely this one.” She stood up and lowered the lipstick into the tube. “Is it really for me?”
“Yeah. I picked that shade out for you special. I have more too. I took like twenty-tubes. It got heavy after awhile. I got all the originals and the pseudo originals something.”
“Even Jenny?”
“Well, Frank won’t let me give her the diet book.” Ellen giggled with Andrea. “So I stopped by her house and gave her this really awful shade of pink lipstick. I didn’t want it anyhow. I’ll pass the rest of my gifts out tomorrow. You got yours because I wanted us to look good tonight.” She nodded and stuck her tube in her pocket.
“We do, too.” Andrea bent back to the toaster, running her finger on the corner of her mouth to fix it. “Miguel loves lipstick.”
“And he’ll be home to see it.” Ellen rested her hand on Andrea’s arched back. “Andrea, I want to tell you something. Your husband watched out for me, he did. You’d be really proud of him. I was. He stayed behind so Frank could get me out. I’ll never forget that, ever.”
Andrea stared at Ellen, her eyes welling with tears. “I am proud of him Ellen. I miss him.”
“I do too. He’ll be home soon. Our men will get him home.”
“Hey!” Frank’s abrupt entrance into the kitchen caused both women in their emotional moment to jump. “Are we eating yet? I’m starved . . . Oh, El.” He marched over to her, still holding Brian like the baby was a body extension of his. “Quit wearing that shit. It makes your lips look bigger than they are.”
“What do you want, Frank?” Ellen snapped at him, tightening her lips so they looked smaller.
“Food. Soon?”
Andrea answered him. “Yes, now go.”
“I’m leaving” He kissed Ellen on the cheek, tried to wipe off her lipstick but failed when Ellen ducked.
Ellen rolled her eyes and turned to Andrea. “The nerve. Do they look big?”
“No, he just doesn’t want you looking good.”
Ellen and Andrea couldn’t seem to find a moment to be alone, not ten seconds later, Ellen’s favorite person, Jenny came into the kitchen. “Ellen?” Jenny smiled brightly and tucked her red hair behind her ear. “I want to thank you for the gift. I see you’re wearing some too. Would that be the right shade for your lip size?”
Ellen folded her arms. “Probably not. But I have to say to you, Jenny, what a lovely shade that pink looks on you. It make your face look . . . thinner.”
Jenny smiled snidely. “John and Frank are comparing babies again. You may want to stop them, you know how upset Frank gets when he sees how much bigger Caroline is.”
“Having a big girl isn’t always a blessing, you should know that Jenny.” Ellen acted pleasant enough.
“Did I tell you Ellen, Caroline is rolling over. Imagine that, already.”
“Really? Well Brian’s reciting fuckin' Shakespeare." Ellen grabbed hold of her shorts and drastically pulled at them. “I want to go sit down before I lose my pants. Gosh, if I wasn’t skinny enough before I went away.” She grinned, her colored lips at Jenny and walked around the bend into the dining room. Still glancing back at Jenny cursing, she walked right into Dean.
“Ellen.” Dean caught his balance. “Hey, you’re wearing lipstick?”
“Are you gonna tell me my lips are big too.”
“No, I think they look . . . pouty, sexy.”
“Thanks, Dean.” She kissed him on the cheek leaving a lipstick mark. “Don’t go pester Andrea, she has her hands full right now trying to keep Jenny out of the food.”
“Actually, I was finding you. Frank left. He handed the baby to Joe and said he needed some air. That alone told me something was up.”
“Do you know why?” Ellen asked.
“I think it has something to do with Dan rambling on about how Frank saved you.”
“Thanks, Dean. I’ll find him. Tell everyone we’ll be right back.” She kissed him on the cheek leaving another mark--on purpose--then left the house. As she stepped down the single step she saw Frank. He stood in the street. One hand behind his head, the other on this hip. “Frank?”
He jumped. “Oh hey, El.”
“What’s going on?”
“I needed some air.” Frank took a deep breath. “Fresh.”
Ellen smiled and neared him, she kept her arms close to her, as she kicked her feet about on the ground. “Not real happy with Dan’s story?”
Frank closed his eyes and slowly shook his head. “No.”
“Why?” She reached her hand to his face. “You should be proud of what you did.”
Frank grabbed her hand. “What did I do? I brought you home. But look at you.” His hand ran from her face to her thigh. “You don’t even look the same. What did I save you from? Something I let you walk into? They beat you babe, they nearly raped you. I let soldiers drag you through the woods.”
“Frank, just stop.” She pulled down his hand. “You have to let this go. I went down there on my own. What happened to me was out of your control. We’re home now. Can we just, please, put this behind us.”
“I can’t. Because every time I look at you, I’m reminded of it.”
“Thanks, Frank. Thanks a lot.” Ellen started to walk away.
“No, El.” Frank moved to in front of her to stop her. “Stop.” He reached for her.
“No, you stop.” She pushed his hand away. “I have scars on my body now that will never go away. Are you telling me that for the rest of our lives every time you see them you’ll be reminded?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“It’s not?” Ellen lowered her head. “Well that’s what I’m hearing. I want to forget this.” She brought her hand to her chest and pointed. “I want to let it go. You brought me home. End of it.” Ellen stood silent for a minute. “I won’t let what they did to me, lessen what you did for me. And don’t you ever . . .” Ellen closed her eyes with anger. “Ever, view what happened to me as your failure. Don’t. I’m not anyone’s failure. I’m a success story. I’m home alive.” Saying no more, Ellen went back into the party.
Frank’s head lowered. He took a few moments before going back in. He hated the feeling he got when he thought about what happened to Ellen; an anger brought on by a situation that was out of his control. He knew he could never take away what happened, just like he knew he could never take away how badly he had just made her feel.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
August 20
With the first buzz attempt, the door didn’t open. Ellen kicked the door, buzzed it again and made her entrance into the cryo-lab. “O.K. I’m here!”
Dean looked at his watch, he had a counter full of supplies waiting. “A little late.” He reached over and grabbed her hand leading her to his counter of supplies. “I need you to sit down.”
Ellen sat and continued rattling on. “First . . .” She didn’t notice Dean grabbing her arm and extending it. “I go to containment to see my survivors, you know, say hello. Then I go to put my lunch in the fridge . . .”
Dean wiped the space between her forearm and upper arm clean. Ellen paid no mind.
“ . . . and what does Greg of all people tell me? He tells me that I’m not eating lunch in containment. He and Henry are working there, I’m to work the clinic..”
Dean looked at Ellen through the tops of her eyes as he adjusted the tourniquet and cleaned her arm again. He waited for her to acknowledge what he was doing---she didn’t.
&
nbsp; Ellen continued. “So, O.K., I go to the clinic thinking it’s some special arrangement. I find Andrea. She tells me, everyday for a while, and that I have to work in the lab with you.”
Dean punctured her skin with a needle--still no reaction. He placed in the first tube.
“Then I go to the lab, and who do I see? Jason. Sitting in your spot.” She nodded as Dean looked up to her, making eye contact. “I told him I’m supposed to be there with you. And he says that I am supposed to be on a long term project with you . . . but . . . you’re now down in the sub levels of hell. The cryo-lab. What a descriptive guy he is.” She stopped talking long enough to take a deep breath. “Guess who else I saw this morning. Care to comment on Melissa to me?”
“Oh, shit.” Dean beckoned the tube to fill faster releasing her tourniquet.
“Oh shit is right. Either I figured I stepped through one of those imaginary time machines Jason says he invents, Or . . G.A.F. actually stands for growth accelerated fetus like the sheets I found in their embryonic lab, not genetically altered fetus like some people insisted.”
“You know?” Dean placed in the third and final tube.
“Yep. I snatched up all kinds of sheets from their lab.”
“My first reaction was to abort.” Dean shook his head. “We don’t know how her body will react. But Melissa wouldn’t.” Dean laid that final tube to the side and placed a piece of cotton on her injection site. He bended her arm. “We’re going to do a ‘C’ section early.”
“Kind of go by the ultrasound and keep your fingers crossed?” Ellen slid from the stool. “I guess everyone knows she’s not pregnant to Mark now.” Ellen took off the cotton and tossed it in the trash. “Oh, I almost forgot.” She began to reach in her pocket and hesitated. “Dean? Why did you just take three tubes of blood out of me?”
“I didn’t think you noticed.” Dean spoke with sarcasm. “It’s for our work.”
“Anyway I almost forgot . . .”
“Don’t you want to know what we’re working on? You’re here with me for awhile.”
“What are we working on?” Ellen sat back down.
“Now don’t get upset. I’m sure you know that they were the ones responsible for doing this to the world right? Well, in a taste of their own medicine, we’re creating a biological weapon to use on them. They have too many soldiers and it’ll be easy to just drop it in their air supply. I’m going to use your blood and mine to create the antibodies for it, and as a basis for the weapon.”
“So in a sense you and I will definitely be immune should you create a monster?” Ellen asked. “This isn’t some sick warped plan you have to eliminate everyone so you can have me all to yourself, is it?” She joked. “You aren’t going to screw up and we’ll have to be trapped in here dying some horrible death, banging on the windows while everyone watches will you?”
“El, this is no joke.”
“I’m sorry.” She stopped her laughter. “In all seriousness Dean, you doing this is gonna let out your ‘I was a killer in the army’ secret.”
“Seems Joe knew and blackmailed me with it to get me to make the weapon.”
Ellen snickered. “Joe’s so cool. Anyhow . . .” She stood up. “I got something for you. When Frank and I were out, he gave me fifteen minutes in K-Mart. I got everyone something.”
Dean stood also. “What is it?” He smiled.
“It’s not much.” She placed the small white box in his hand and cupped it. “For you.”
Dean slowly opened his hand, his eyes widened and a huge smile fell on him. “Ellen, real dental floss?” He asked excited. “Wow.” Dean opened the cap and closed it. “Wow. This is so great, I’ll use it tonight. I love it. Thank you.” He placed his hand on the side of her face and leaned in to kiss her, he paused before her lips, then moved in slowly, touching his to hers softly. Pulling away slowly. “Thank you.” He clutched the floss.
“Whoa.” Ellen touched her lips. “Nice thank you.”
“It wasn’t just for the floss.” Dean kept flipping the lid. “It’s for never judging me.”
“I’ve judged you. Maybe not as a doctor, but definitely in bed . . .” Ellen lowered her head. “Can I be serious with you?”
“Something’s up.” Dean looked in her eyes. “What is it?”
Ellen walked over and closed and locked the lab doors. She made sure all the blinds were closed. “You have to promise me something. You have to promise me that what I’m going to tell you stays in this room. Promise me. And you have to be Dean the doctor.”
“I promise. Ellen, what’s wrong.”
Ellen walked back to him and lifted herself in the counter. She pulled her tee shirt from her shorts, then lifted it over her head, holding it against her chest. “I need your help. I need you to fix something for me.” With a deep breath, Ellen laid her shirt next to her. She undid the front clasp to her bra and slowly pulled away the cup to expose her left breast. “This.”
Dean swallowed deeply then blinked with a pause. “Oh, Ellen.”
“Dean the doctor remember?”
With a breath, Dean reached his hand out slowly to examine her. “Who did this to you?” His fingers touched the still unhealed wound.
“It’s not important. Can you fix it?”
“You mean plastic surgery?” Dean shook his head as he examined. “I don’t know. I’d have to read. Why don’t you go to Jason or Andrea they may . . .”
“No. I don’t want anyone to know this. I want you to fix this. Please.”
“I could screw it up.”
“How much more can it be screwed up.”
Shaking his head, Dean lifted his eyes. “I don’t feel any hard masses.” His closed her bra and handed her the tee shirt. “It will heal and you may not see that much of it.” Dean stepped back running his hand on his forehead.
“I want as much of it gone as possible. It’s a bad memory I don’t want.”
Dean slowly swung his head to her. “What kind of bad memory Ellen? What happened?”
“Nothing Dean.”
“Nothing?”
Ellen noticed his emotions. “Dean, you’re supposed to be rational. To be a doctor right now.”
“I’m finding it very difficult to do. As your friend it is killing me to see this. As a doctor I see bruises on the inside of your thighs, a bite mark on your breast. These are signs and evidence of a very violent rape. Ellen, my God. I’m not blind, I’m not stupid.”
“I know you’re not.” Ellen stayed on the counter putting on her shirt. “That’s why I think I came to you. I guess I need to let someone know what happened.”
Dean could feel his blood pressure begin to rise, his fears begin to generate. “Ellen, did someone rape you?” Dean moved to her. “Tell me. Did someone rape you?”
“Not exactly.”
“Not exactly?” Dean’s heart sunk, he could feel the lump in his throat. “What is, not exactly. Was there penetration?”
Ellen lifted her eyes. “Dean please. Don’t tell anyone.”
“There was.” The blood rushed to his ears, his heart beat faster and he could barely breathe. He ran his hand violently across the top of his head. He laid his hands next to her on the counter. “My God. You should have told someone, what if you got pregnant, what if . . .”
“They didn’t get that far. I got away quickly.”
“They?” Another emotional blow to Dean. His lowered head swayed back and forth. “I’m sorry.” He lifted it. “I’m sorry this happened to you.” He looked into her eyes. “Frank doesn’t know, does he?”
“I can’t tell him. He won’t handle it. There’s no way he can get justice. So he can’t know. I know he’s going to wonder soon why I won’t let him touch me.” She slowly slid from the counter.
“He has the right to know this. He has to know. You can’t keep this inside of you.”
“I’m not, I’m telling you. And I told him I got away.”
“El.” Dean took hold of her arm and stepped closer.
“I can’t believe how strong you’re being.”
“Strong?” Her words squeaked out. “Look at me, Dean. Look what they did to me. I’m trying to be strong. That’s what everyone wants right?” She raised her fist as he held on to her arm. “I can’t be.” Her eyes began to well up. “As much as I’m trying. I can’t.” She shook her head trying to hide her emotions from him.
“Ellen, you don’t have to.”
“Tell me it’s all right.”
“It all right.” He pulled her into him and the moment they touched he felt her body let go in an emotional exasperation. His arms held tighter as she buried herself into him, her sobs muffled with in his chest. Her knees buckled, but Dean held her up, bracing her, allowing Ellen--who was always so strong-- let go in his arms.
^^^^
“You gotta be shitting me!” George blasted causing Joanna to step a foot back. “Beginnings wiped out that many of our men? These are supposed to be our protection. What the hell is wrong with them.”
“What’s wrong with them is they are not ready. You can’t expect them to go into battle and know how to handle themselves. You just can’t.” Joanna defended.
“You should have trained them prior to the freezing.” George scolded.
“We didn’t have the time.”
“Then train them now.”
“We can’t. Our strategist is working the field in Beginnings. The best we can do is send them with the fifty survivors we have for implantation to New Mexico. We have Dr. Gafsky. He was in the military for ten years. I want to send him to New Mexico to train them. He’s the best we have. Aside from you.”
“I can’t go, not on the outside chance they come down here.” George rubbed his eyes. “All right. That’s what we’ll do, but leave twenty here. I’ll work with them. Anything else?”
“We have four women ready for implantation. We’d like to send them also to New Mexico to begin as a trial.”
George waved his hand at her. “Go on. Do what you have to. Just get this goddamn plan going.”
The Big Ten: The First Ten Books of the Beginnings Series Page 119