Joanna stared at George before she got up from her chair. She understood why he wanted things to move fast, but she need him to understand why they couldn’t. To do things right takes time. The faster they move, the more the odds stay with Beginnings. That was something she could not tell George. Because that was something he didn’t want to hear.
^^^^
It was fortunate for Dean there was nothing deadly flying about the cryo-lab or it would have been sucked into his open mouth with his gasp.
“Dean.” Frank snapped his finger before him. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Shock.” Dean answered. “Let . . . let me get this straight. Elite group going to Colorado to drop the weapon, fight the soldier, and rescue Miguel and George. Dan, Greg, Cole, Pete, Hodges, you and . . . me?”
“Yeah, now what I . . .”
“Frank.” Dean held up his hand. “I am not even in the same league as far as fighting goes with these guys. I’m not a fighter, I’m a . . .”
“Don’t say lover.” Frank interrupted.
“Scientist.” Dean stated. “I was in the military, yes, but that was years ago. Sorry, I have to pass.”
“No, I’m sorry. You’re picked. Now back to what . . .”
“Have you seen the size of you guys. Of course you have.” Dean argued. “You guys all get extra rations. Look at me. I’m small.”
“Exactly.” Frank’s hand slammed on the counter with his heavy word. “Now if you’ll shut up I can explain. God, you’re giving me a headache.”
“You’re doing this to get rid of me, aren’t you. Eliminate me. Kill me off. It’s an excuse. It’s because of the baby isn’t . . .”
“Dean!” Frank snapped. “Shut up! We’ll talk about the baby thing at another time. Right now. I need you to tell me when you can train. We’ll adhere to your schedule. As far as why you’re going. One, most important, you’ll know your weapon. Two, you know that installation better than anyone. And three, you’re the only man in this community, other than Os-Oscar, that is small enough to crawl through a ventilation system. So Dean.” Frank stood up and smacked him on the arm. “You’re in.”
“But I’m needed here, Frank. I’m a doctor.”
“Oh quit making excuses. Jason is here now.” Frank looked down at his watch. “And I want to go prep for my meeting with my dad, so I’ll be in touch.”
Dean rose up to plead one more time but Frank had made his quick departure. Still stunned by the direct, non-rejection invitation Frank just gave him, he sat back down. “He’s gonna kill me out there, I know it.”
^^^^
Ellen stared down to the bottom of her shirt. The small stain that was the result of her clumsiness at dinner. The same stain that was worse because she rubbed it and rubbed it. It bothered her as she stood in her bedroom. Probably more than it should have. As she grabbed the edge of her shirt, she paused, wondering if Frank saw her hands shaking at dinner. Did he notice that her trembling caused her fork to fall from her hand? Did he buy her outburst over the shirt as being caused by her lack of clothing? It was something so innocent Frank said at the dinner table. Joking around with the twins, and Josh, saying how they’ll all have the huge wrestling match before Pap got there. Then saying how they wanted to drag Mommy into it. The word ‘drag’ sent her muscles into involuntary release. The blood rushed to her ears, she heard her own scream and then pulling herself from the memory, Ellen found herself a mess.
She wished that she hadn’t said anything to Dean. Before she opened her mouth it was all a bad dream. Talking about it made it a reality. The reality made her feel something she just wanted to punish herself over . . . weakness. And being a Slagel in a Slagel World, Ellen knew weakness was something she just couldn’t show. Especially to Frank.
^^^^
Frank handed the ‘Joe clipboard’ that he carried all afternoon with him to his father, then unrolled and smoothed out the map on the dining room table. He used glasses to hold down the edges, and pulled out the red marker that was always saved for special occasion. “Take a look Dad, that’s the plan. What do you think?”
Joe lifted the sheet, Brian perched against him. “I think that . . . What!?” Joe peered up at his son. “Dean? You chose Dean to go? Dean? Christ Almighty Frank, what are you up to? Are you putting him on this so you can eliminate him? Don’t do it Frank, just don’t . . .”
“Dad!” Frank banged his fist. “I asked him to go because that is what the plan called for. Read. Just read.” Frank pointed his marker. “And don’t question my judgment again.”
“Don’t you take that tone with me, I am your father.”
“Sorry.” Frank, shaking his head returned to his map. “Well?”
“O.K.” Joe set it down. “I see your point. At first I . . .” Joe looked at Frank as he bent over, the ceiling light in the dining room reflecting on his hair.
Frank felt his hairs being gently moved around. With glaring eyes, he lifted them to his father. “Why are you playing with my hair?”
“I just can’t believe that you’re getting gray hair. No one in the Slagel family history has ever had any . . .”
“I’m not getting gray hair!” Frank hit his father’s hand away, stood straight and ran his fingers through his hair. “And if I’m the first Slagel getting them, then it’s only because no other Slagel had to deal with the end of the world shit that I have to.”
“I do.” Joe leaned his head forward. “Not one gray hair.” he snickered at how perturbed Frank was. “All right, show me the route.” Stepping forward to the table, he felt the rush of someone darting in the dining area, and felt the touch of lips to his cheek. “Hi Kiddo. How ya feeling.”
“Better now.” Ellen reached out for the baby. “Let me take Brian.” She took Brian. “I’ll lay him down before social skills class. Frank, are you going to be all right with all the kids tonight.”
Frank’s head swayed over to Ellen as he diligently tried to work.. “I’ll be fine. Dad and Josh are here to help.”
“O.K.” Ellen laid the baby down. “Just don’t let Josh change his diaper again, he forgot to put a pin in it.” She walked back into the dining room. “And . . I’ll finish cleaning up later.”
Frank dropped his pen and rubbed his eyes. “El, I’ll do it. Don’t worry about it.” Shaking his head he looked to his father. “Between you and her I’m not going to get this done, am I?”
Ellen looked sharply at him. “Sorry I bothered you. You dropped this.” She grabbed his pen and threw it at him. “Asshole.”
Frank fumbled with the pen as it rolled down his chest. “What’d I say?” He leaned back over laying his navigator ruler on the map and lifting his pen to the edge of it.
Ellen folded her arms. “It’s not what you said.” She bumped, on purpose her hip into the table. “It’s how you said it.”
“El!” Frank stood up. “You made me fuck up my nice little line.”
“Good. I ask for ten seconds of your time and I get attitude off of you.”
“What attitude, I didn’t give you attitude.” Frank was trying to stay under control. He thought he was, his tone showed he wasn’t. “You’re the one with the sudden Sybil attitude . . .”
The loud clearing of a throat caught the attention of the three of them. Dean stood in the opening of the dining area. “Sorry to interrupt. Josh was outside, he said to come in.” Dean pointed backwards as he stood with one hand in his pocket, his eyes focused on Ellen the whole time. “But I was uh . . . I was wondering if I can steal Ellen before her social skills.”
Pen between his hands folded in a praying manner, Frank looked up. “Yes. Please. Take her.”
With a gasp from Ellen, she stormed out. Dean followed.
Letting out a heavy attention catching breath, Joe placed on his glasses, and peered across the table to the map, mumbling. “Nothing like passing off your responsibilities.”
“Excuse me?” Frank asked.
“Oh, nothing.” Joe tapped his hand on the t
able. “Map. Route.”
“Thank you.” Frank shook his head and turned his focus back on the mission.
^^^^
“Talk to him.” Dean pleaded almost to Ellen’s back as she paced in small circles. They seemingly hid between the containment and social hall buildings.
“I can’t.” Ellen faced him. “I can’t.”
“Then you’re going to let him think you’re just being a bitch.”
“No.” Ellen shook her head. “That is where Frank is wrong. Whether he knew the extend of what happened to me or not, he should know I went through a lot. That alone should award me some compassion from him.”
Dean chuckled. “I’m sorry. But we’re talking about Frank. Frank isn’t being insensitive. He’s being Frank. He doesn’t know how to be any other way unless you tell him the way he should be.” Dean looked around and finally realized where in their walk they ended up. “Why are we between these buildings.”
“Oh.” Ellen tossed out her hand in frustration. “Nosey old lady Josephine. Always in everyone’s business. You saw her peering her beady old eyes bet her and Jenny . . .”
“Ellen.” Dean stopped her.
“I’m sorry. I just feel so pent up. Angry.” She moved to him. “Guilty. Guilty because not only am I losing it on my husband, I won’t let him touch me in anyway further than a quick kiss or hug.”
“That is understandable.” Dean spoke with compassion. “Listen, you may not want to hear this. But maybe you need to talk to someone who’s gone through what you went though. You know and I know over half of these survivor women were violated more than once. Melissa for example. You get along with her, talk to her, she knows . . .”
“No.” Ellen shook her head. “I don’t want anyone but you to know.”
“But I’m at such a loss. I want to help, but I don’t know if I will help you out the right way.”
“You will.” Ellen’s voice softened. “Just be there for me, Listen when I need an ear. Try to make me feel . . . normal.”
Exhaling loudly, Dean reached out and pulled Ellen into him. “You got it.” He laid his lips to her forehead.
“Hey!” The elderly female voice yelled into the alley way causing the abrupt separation of Dean and Ellen’s embrace. “What’s going on here?” Josephine asked. Her fragile frame barely seen. “Does your husband know you’re doing some hanky panky in the alley. And do you know all hell is breaking loose in your containment. Henry ran out screaming.”
“Shit.”Ellen bolted past Dean. She skid to a stop turning around when she realize in her run she blasted into Josephine knocking her down. “Sorry.” Turning again, she ran into containment.
No guard. Silence. Ellen buzzed her way in, raced down the hall and with worry, opened up the skills room door.
“Surprise!” Was shouted in unison by the residents of containment.
Henry who was standing center walked over to Ellen. “Hey.”
“Oh, my God.” Ellen grabbed her chest. “For me?”
“For you.” Henry kissed her on the cheek. “We wanted to welcome you home. We missed you.”
Smiling and blushing Ellen basked in the moment. “And here I thought you were going to teach children’s songs again.” She giggled in happiness over her surprise and turned when she felt a hand on her back. Dean was standing there. “Dean, did you know?”
“Of course.” He smiled. “Henry asked for my help.”
“Thank you.” Ellen looked at Henry then Dean. “Thank you.”
Henry tugged on Ellen’s hand. “Come on over, we have cake. Josephine baked one. They all want to talk to you.”
Ellen nodded and faced Dean when Henry moved into the small crowd. “Dean.”
“Go enjoy your party.” Dean grabbed her hand. “See, El, a lot of people missed you. And Josephine baked you a cake. What did you call her.”
“Nosey. And she is. I’m gonna go . . .” Ellen pointed to the survivors.
“Go on.” Dean winked. His hand slipped from hers as she moved toward the group of survivors. Talking with them, it seemed, a lot differently. And Dean realized at he watched her that somehow, Ellen knew and understood them all, just a little bit better.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
August 27
Dean dreaded it as he made is way up the hill. Frank’s training field. His home territory, given to him, that huge area of land, as a training area for his security people. Frank trained them all the time. Snow, rain, heat, all on a regular basis. The other six men designated to go, were used to it, Dean wasn’t. He wouldn’t have even had known where to find them in their secluded spot if it wasn’t for the gun fire that regularly bellowed from the area. Frank worked the guys to go on the mission and he was in his glory. Dean knew it. He could hear Frank shouting over the grunts, as he drew closer up the hill.
“Get down!” Frank yelled. “You can’t dodge a hit like that. Son of a bitch!”
Dean watched Frank hammer into Dale. Then fear struck Dean. Frank saw him.
“You’re late!” Frank marched over to him.
“I was busy. So . . . what are we . . .”
“Dean!” Frank placed his hands on his hips. “I am working these drills around your schedule. Not ours. All of us would rather do this at six in the fuckin' morning rather than two in the afternoon! Now would you rather us do these at six!”
“God, Frank.” Dean put his finger to his ear and squinted. “Don’t yell. I’m sorry.”
Frank brought his hand to his own face with a slap. “All right. You ready to work?”
“What are we doing today.”
“Lines.”
“Lines?” Dean laughed. “Like drugs?”
“Dean!” Frank glared at him. “Grab a gun, make sure it’s not loaded, and go stand between Cole and Dan.”
“When do we get to shoot?” Dean asked.
“An hour ago! Go by Dan!” Frank looked at his watch. He knew he’d be pulling his hair out when they got closer to the time to leave. He saw Dean walk over grab a gun, and walk up to Dan, standing next to him and Cole. Dean looked at the rifle then Dean turned to Dan, then to Cole, who just shook their heads at him. Frank readied himself when he saw Dean walk back. “What Dean?”
“They won’t tell me, they’re acting like I should know. What are we doing?”
“If you would have been on time you would know.”
Dean was annoyed for having to be there as it was, his tone showed it. “But I wasn’t, so quit acting the drill Sergeant with me and tell me what we’re doing.”
“O.K.” Frank nodded his head and spoke slowly like he was talking to a child. “You Dean, will go and stand between Cole and Dan. You are the front line. You are the bad guys, the new soldiers. Greg is going to pretend he has to make it through them. Them, meaning you. Then he’s going to try to get through Dale, Hodges and Pete. Are you following me Dean?”
“Sort of. What am I, supposed to try to block Greg, like a linebacker.”
“Sure. But he’s gonna to try to get through. Got it?”
“This is really dumb. What’s the point, Frank? If these soldiers see an unarmed Greg running they are going to shoot him. End of story.”
Still remaining an imitated calm, Frank continued nodding his head. “Yes Dean, I know that. It’s to help build your physical stamina. All right?”
“All right.” Dean headed back to the line. “Should I hold my gun up or not.”
“However you’re comfortable. Oh and Dean, after Greg.” Frank smiled. “You’re next.”
“Swell.” Dean took his position and stood there. He held his gun up, just because no one else did. Greg hadn’t even made it to the second line and Dean knew, by Frank’s yell, he did something wrong.
“Dean!” Frank marched up to him. “What are you doing? You’re supposed to block Greg. Not move out of his way.”
“What, and let him knock me over?” Dean laughed. “Right. He weighs two hundred and sixty pounds Frank. Realistically, out there, if I see a
man who weighs nearly three hundred pounds heading my way like a bull. I’m moving.”
“Fine.” Frank turned his back to Dean and yelled to the field. “Hey Greg. Stand where Dean was.” Frank, smiling turned back to Dean. “You’re up.”
“What am I suppose to do?” Dean asked. “Run through those guys?”
“Yep.” Frank took Dean’s rifle, set it down, then marched to the field.
“Wait!” Dean called. “Where are you going? Aren’t you supposed to stand here and yell?”
“Supposed to.” Frank walked backwards. “But just on the outside chance your skinny ass whizzes by these guys. You have to get through me.”
“Shit.” Dean knew he was in trouble when he saw Frank take his place, like a football player way in the back.
“Whenever you’re ready, Dean.” Frank yelled to him, grinning from ear to ear.
Speaking in a whisper, Dean shook his head. “Yeah, right.” He waved his hand up and took a starting runner’s position. He looked at the six big men before him, and Frank holding up the rear. “I’m a dead man.”
^^^^
Ellen kept peering at her watch, waiting impatiently in the lab for Dean’s return so she could go over the experiments and go home. What she saw walk into the lab, was not what she expected. “What happened to you?”
“Your husband.” Dean’s clothes were filthy, his hair totally messed up, and his face hard to see through the sweat and the dirt. “Don’t ask.”
“What did he do to you?”
“I said don’t ask.” He hobbled to the sink and turned it on full blast, instead of splashing his face, he let the sink fill. “I won’t be able to walk tomorrow.” As the water rose in the basin, he emerged his head in. He felt Ellen hand him the towel. “Thanks.” With his eyes partly closed he grabbed it, ran it over his face then his head. “How did the experiment go?”
Ellen shrugged. “It’s waiting for you.”
“What do you mean ‘waiting’?” Dean walked over to the counter. “Didn’t you do it?”
The Big Ten: The First Ten Books of the Beginnings Series Page 120