The Big Ten: The First Ten Books of the Beginnings Series

by Jacqueline Druga

  “Is this Ellen speaking?”

  “Unbelievably, yes it is. I love our children. God, do I love them. But like the last time, I will hold onto to faith that it will work. I have more confidence this time. I have more faith, because this time I have you.”

  “Ellen.” Dean reached out emotionally and pulled Ellen tightly to him, burying his face close to hers. He gripped her head to hold her to him, his fingers intertwined within her hair. “I get so scared.” His voice dropped to a rapid whisper, “So scared. So scared. We work with this thing so much that it has lost its impact on us. When I let myself think of the consequences, I freak. We’ve taken this as far as we can take it. We need to take it further. What if we can’t?”

  “We can.”

  “We’re so limited.”

  Dean’s hold on her was so desperate, so clenching, that he wouldn’t let go. “Do you think giving our children the antiserum will make it all better for you? For me? It will take one thing off our minds but it won’t make what may happen go away.”

  “But it will make it tolerable if something does happen.”

  “Oh, Dean.” Ellen pulled back from him, laying her hands on his face. “I wish I had the answers for you, I really do. Maybe I’m not seeing what you’re seeing. Maybe you and I shouldn’t be discussing this.”

  “Who else will we discuss it with?” Dean asked. “This affects both you and me. Who else?”

  Ellen kissed him softly. “Get a shirt on.”

  “Why?”

  “We’re walking to talk to the third person this decision will affect.”

  “Frank?”

  “Yes, Frank. I feel how much you want to do this. I feel it when you hold me that you’re scared, but if we talk to Frank, maybe he can help us. They are his kids too.”

  A certain amount of relief came to Dean with Ellen’s suggestion. Frank was hardheaded and sometimes the biggest asshole in Beginnings, but to Dean he was one other thing, a man who loved his children more than life. If Dean needed someone to side with him, whether Ellen knew it or not, she just picked the right person.

  <><><><>

  Cradled so comfortably in his father’s arms, Brian slept. As Frank swayed him, as he held him, Frank also watched Brian. His head secured under Frank’s huge hand, Brian’s face was pressed to Frank’s chest so tightly his mouth puckered. Both of Brian’s arms hung down and his legs no longer clenched securely to Frank like they had ten minutes earlier.

  There was something so peaceful—which Frank loved—about holding his sleeping child. How perfect Brian always looked to him. As Frank rocked him in the living room, looking at how big Brian was getting, he made that wish that every parent makes. He wished that he could give Brian that magic drug that could just keep him small forever, small enough to always look up to Frank, to be held, and to need Frank’s protection. Frank also wished at that moment for a less popular house. One knock and Danny walked in, something Henry told him he could do.

  Danny brought his finger to his lips whispering, “Sorry.”

  Frank shook his head. “You could scream right now and this kid won’t hear you. What’s up?”

  “Just heading back down stairs. Anyone there?”

  “Jason.”

  “Good.” Danny stopped in his walk across the living room. “Henry is not here?”

  “He was. He went to get some music or something for you guys to listen to. You aren’t going to be down there all night again, are you?”

  “If it’s up to Henry we will be,” Danny told him. “He’s wanting this badly.

  “I guess he wants Dean to see, really bad.”

  “No, he wants Ellen to see.”

  Frank laughed. “Danny.” He leaned a foot into him. “Ellen is not the one who’s blind.” Frank winked, just letting making Danny aware of that little fact.

  “I know that, Frank,” Danny laughed, “but he wants Ellen to see what he’s doing and he wants it so badly that he won’t even tell her what he’s doing for fear she’ll care less.”

  “El will care,” Frank told him. “I think Henry should give her a little more credit than that.”

  “Maybe you should tell him that.”

  “Maybe I will.” Frank kissed Brian.

  “Thanks.” Danny started to head to the kitchen.

  “Oh, Danny, make sure you guys sleep. All of you look bad.”

  “This I know.” Danny smiled and with the small box he held in his hand, he went to the basement.

  “Just me and you, Bri, and ...” Frank looked up at the door opening, “Henry.”

  Out of breath, Henry hurried and closed the door. “Hey, Frank. Is everyone here?”

  “Yep and why are you out of breath.”

  “I ran all the way here from the Social Hall.”

  “Why?”

  “I went there to get the music. Bev was there, she tried to talk to me.”

  “And you ran?” Frank asked.

  “I didn’t even speak to her, Frank. I ran out of there so quickly.” Henry took a deep breath to get his breathing back in synch. Running his hand over Brian’s head, Henry hurried by Frank. “I have lots of work to do. I won’t bother you.”

  “Henry, you bother me even when you’re across the street.”

  Henry, looking so upbeat, grinned at Frank. “That’s funny.”

  “It’s good to see you smile, Henry.”

  “Thanks, Frank.”

  “Oh and, Henry, it’ll be good not to see you at all too. Make sure you guys get the hell out of my basement sometime tomorrow, at least for fresh air. You’re looking all pale, all three of you, and I don’t want to start calling you the People Under the Stairs.”

  “Funny, Frank.” Henry waved and quickly ran into the kitchen.

  “I guess I’ll put you in bed, Bri.” Deciding to take Brian upstairs, then fill his evening with pestering the working crew on the floor under him, Frank carried Brian to bed.

  Gently he laid the baby in his crib and covered him with the sheet. He ran his hand down Brian’s face and leaned down to kiss him. “Love you.” Another kiss and Frank moved to the next crib kissing Nick. He made his way to Alexandra next, taking a second to laugh at how she slept, legs spread out, head back, and mouth open. Chuckling and kissing her, Frank covered her and made his way to the next bedroom to check on Joey and Billy.

  His nightly routine, one he did not only once but twice, of kissing the kids. As Frank pulled the covers over Joey before he left the bedroom—he clenched his fist when he felt it hit his hand. It bothered Frank, and he knew the reason for it.

  Staring at his own fingers, Frank watched them do what they did every night at the same time—shake. Never in his entire life had his hands shook. He could easily stop them from shaking, but the way to make them stop was actually why they shook. “Just a little longer,” Frank spoke to himself, going downstairs. He could feel it hit him in his gut, the trembling there. He had fought it for two hours while he got the kids settled for the night. He had held Brian extra long, as a sense of support. But it was quiet now and there wasn’t anything more he could do about it.

  Walking to the kitchen, Frank grabbed a mug to pour himself some of the coffee he had just brewed. Grabbing the sugar, he saw his bottle of whiskey. Frank’s hand reached up to it then stopped. Just as he went to close the cupboard, he reopened it and grabbed that bottle pouring a shot’s worth into his coffee. Guilt hit Frank as he brought the mug to his lips to sip, closing his eyes as he brought the hot whiskey-laced beverage to his mouth.

  “Frank?” Ellen’s call echoed to him.

  “In here.” Frank leaned against the counter, reaching his foot out to shut the basement door. The last thing he wanted was for Ellen to leave because she knew Henry was there. “Hey.” He smiled when he saw her then lost the smile when Dean walked in behind her. “Aw, man, can’t you leave me alone, Dean. I know I’m your big hero and such.”

  “It’s not you, Frank,” Dean snapped back. “It’s El. I can’t leave her a
lone. You know that this week is coming to an end. I’ll be able to touch her tomorrow.”

  “Oh, Dean?” Frank held up his hand. “I’m flipping you off.”

  “El, why does he announce things that he is doing?”

  Ellen giggled. “Don’t be silly, Dean. It’s because you can’t see.” She ‘tsked’ and noticed the coffee. “Is that fresh, Frank?”

  “Yeah, coffee’s fresh. Want some?”

  “Yes. We need to talk to you. It’s important.”

  “OK, go in the living room, I’ll be right there. I’ll get it for you.”

  “Thanks.” Ellen smiled. “Come on, Dean.” Ellen grabbed his arm.

  “In a minute.”

  Waiting for Ellen to leave, Frank opened a cupboard for a mug. “Want some, Dean?”

  “Yeah, but I wish you wouldn’t give her any. She’s hyper enough at night.”

  Frank snickered. “Deal with it.” He set both mugs on the counter and poured coffee into them. “Why are you waiting in here with me?” Frank turned to look at him.

  “I smelt something.”

  “Probably Henry, Danny, and Jason in the basement.” He took a drink of his own coffee.

  “No.” Dean shook his head and stepped closer to Frank’s voice.

  “Why are you walking toward me? You aren’t gonna try and kiss me are you?”

  “No!” Dean reached his hand out.

  “You are!”

  “Frank! Knock it off.” Feeling around, his hand connected with the back of Frank’s.

  “Dean, I swear if you ...”

  “Frank.” Dean took the mug from his hand, stepped back, reached for the counter, and then made his way to the sink.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Getting you some coffee.” Dean sniffed the cup then poured out its contents.

  “Dean, I had some coffee but you’re fuckin pouring it out.”

  “Have some fresh stuff, Frank.” Using the counter against his stomach as a guide, Dean felt his way to the coffee pot. He let his finger rest just inside the rim as he poured the coffee into the mug. When the heat drew near to his finger he stopped. “Here.” He picked the mug up and held it out. “Am I facing you?”

  “Yeah,” Frank’s voice dropped, “Dean, I ...”

  “Take it. This cup will be better.” Dean felt Frank reach for the mug.

  “I wish it would be.”

  “It will be.” Dean could feel, as Frank took the mug from him, the trembling that conveyed from Frank’s fingers. Reassuringly, Dean laid his hands over Frank’s to clench the mug tighter. “It will be.”

  The kitchen was silent, but only for a second. Ellen’s snickering startled them both. “Frank? Dean? Why are you guys holding hands?”

  “Fuckin Dean.” Frank stepped back. “He was hitting on me. I’ll tell you, El, I don’t know what I’m gonna do with you two ... here’s your coffee.” He handed her the mug and started to leave the kitchen. “First you last night, now Dean. You guys are weird. I’m actually starting to get a little frightened that next you’ll approach me with a kinky offer about all three of us together ...” He stopped in the archway, and turned back when he heard Ellen gasp then Dean snicker. Knowing how offended Ellen looked, and knowing Dean didn’t need to see to know it, Frank snickered also. “Dean?”

  “Frank.”

  “What do you think?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Ellen’s mouth dropped open. “Oh my God. Sick, both of you are sick. Can we get to our serious discussion now?” She brushed by Dean, then Frank. “Thank you.”

  Laughing, Frank began to follow Ellen out. “You coming, Dean?”

  “Yes.” Dean took a sip from his coffee and slowly began to turn to walk out. Heading to the living room on his own, it was back to the reason he and Ellen came there. As much as he hated the thought of doing it, Dean was about to change Frank’s whole laughing demeanor with the seriousness of what he had to talk to him about.

  <><><><>

  Jenny jiggled in a sway, making her entrance into the Social Hall for her typical Sunday evening date with her husband, John. It was the only night of the week that they could go out because it was the only night that Patrick took their baby, Caroline. Dressed in a tight, little skirt that form-fit her large hips, she smiled at the whistles she got, let them boost her ego, and then made her way to John who stood up when she approached the table.

  She tucked her hair behind her ear as John pulled out a chair for her. “Sorry I’m late, John.”

  “No, I just got here from my rounds. I’ll tell you, Jenny,” John stepped closer to her, “you look great.”

  Jenny tossed her head back in a flattered motion. As she brought it forward, she saw Bev at the bar. It had been the first time she had seen her since the night Bev left with Henry. The smile was erased from Jenny’s face. She stared at Bev, whose one leg extended off the stool, wearing black shorts—too short and too tight for her, even though she was thin. Her short black hair was wild and curled.

  “Jen?” John waited for her to sit. “What do you want to drink?”

  “You know what, John? I’ll get it.” She turned her head with a fake smile.

  John saw Jenny eyes immediately go back to Bev. “Blow her off, Jen. She’s just under your skin.”

  “She’s under my nails to be more precise.”

  “I will tell you what I heard today. I ran into Kenny. Seems, uh ... Bev has had a major change of heart when it comes to him and Kyle.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Bev has ended the relationships. She did so yesterday.”

  Jenny’s mouth opened wide. “You don’t think Henry and her ...”

  “No.” John shook his head. “Grapevine has it—no.”

  Jenny cringed. “Oh, I hate Sundays. I never hear any gossip.” She stomped her feet. “I’ll get the drinks.”

  “Jen ...”

  “Oh, John, sit.” She pointed her finger. “I’ll be right back.” Jenny walked, or rather strutted, to the bar. She fully intending on just getting her drinks, give a glare or so to Bev, and head back to her husband. That was unless Bev said something to her, then it would only be right if Jenny responded. Perhaps Jenny lingered at the bar longer than she had to in beverage debate. Perhaps she gave a few more glances then she needed to, but as she poured the second drink, Bev spoke.

  “Problem, Jenny?” Bev asked her and smiled, letting Paul who sat next to her light her cigarette.

  “Nope, not at all.” Jenny flipped her hair and moved around the other side of the bar stopping at Bev. “I heard you and Kenny split up.”

  “Yes, it was time to move on, to start anew with someone else.”

  “Unmarked territory I hope,” Jenny said.

  “Now he is,” Bev waited until Jenny started to walk again, “oh, Jenny, your promise to let Ellen beat the fuck out of me fizzled. She didn’t say a word.”

  Jenny spun around. “Then Ellen missed her opportunity.”

  “You were wrong for getting on to me about going off with Henry.”

  “You were wrong for going off with Henry.” Jenny walked back to her, placing the drinks back on the bar. “You know the way it is. We cannot have one woman breaking the bond that we other women have built. You could have very easily done that.”

  “Henry is a free man.”

  “Not for long.”

  “Exactly.” Bev picked up her drink. “If I have my way, Henry will be mine.” She nodded.

  “Leave Henry alone.”

  “No.” Bev shook her head. “I gave up Kenny and Kyle for him. I’m a newer woman here. I haven’t earned the respect I need.”

  “You think going after Henry is the way to do it?”

  “Most definitely. Henry is second in lead of this community. There is a certain prestige that goes along with that. He will be leader someday.”

  “Oh give it up, Bev. This isn’t Payton Place. This is Beginnings. Forget about line of leaders, this isn’t a democracy. Thi
s is a monarchy and next in line for the throne is Frank.” Jenny saw the lighting-up-fact on Bev’s face, and all Jenny could do was laugh. “That would be funny if you tried that. Now I know for a fact Ellen wouldn’t beat you up, she’d kill you. Not to mention the fact of how much of a fool you’d feel when you went after Frank.” Jenny laughed harder. “I’ve been there. I’ve tried that. Frank has one single focus ... Ellen, for many, many years.”

  Bev fluttered her lips. “Stop. If Frank rejected you, you need to look at why. Look at you, Jenny.” Bev raised her eyebrows.

  “I’ll ignore that comment.”

  “Henry was with me.”

  “He won’t even touch you,” Jenny stated. “Henry won’t be that stupid again.”

  “Ha.” Bev shook her head. “He will in time. After all, why not? Ellen doesn’t want him and ... and I am prettier than Ellen, built better, nicer, and younger. Henry will see there really isn’t anything that Ellen is that I’m not.”

  “Oh, I beg to differ, Bev. I can think of one very important thing.”

  “And what is that, Jenny?”

  “Ellen is an Original.”

  “That’s not a very good attitude, Jenny.” Bev stood up from her stool. “Wait until I tell the other women, the ones who aren’t Originals, about your attitude.”

  “Wait until I tell the other women about yours. I can do a lot more damage to you around here than you can to me. Watch your step.”

  Bev merely laughed at Jenny. “Are you threatening me? What are you gonna do, Jenny, throw me out of your little women’s group?”

  “As a matter of fact, you’re already voted out.”

  This made Bev laugh harder. “Then you can tell the women who voted me out to just watch their backs and their men. Payback is a real bitch, Jenny.”

  “Guess what, Bev.” Jenny folded her arms. “So am I.”

  <><><><>

  “No more, Frank,” Dean instructed. “You hear me?”

  “I hear.” Frank returned the bottle to the cabinet above the stove.