by Lana Dare
Surprised to find Hayes capable of giving Savannah the soft, sweet kind of loving she needed, Wyatt promised himself that he would show her the same kind of tenderness and affection the first chance he got.
Minutes later, she slept, while he and Hayes lay awake on either side of her.
He was so mad he could spit nails. He didn’t know what he could do to penetrate the fog that surrounded Savannah, and he wanted to hit something.
When Eb and Jeremiah offered to let them stay with them until their bed arrived, Wyatt readily agreed.
Savannah didn’t need to sleep on a cold floor, and he definitely didn’t want her anywhere near the jailhouse until they transferred her uncle and the others to Tulsa.
It had taken them hours to get her to sleep. Alarmed at her trembling, he and Hayes had kept the lantern low and gathered her close between them. She’d stared at the ceiling wide-eyed, apparently lost in another world—one in which he and Hayes couldn’t reach her.
Every time her eyes had begun to flutter closed, she’d whimpered and opened them wide again, as though something had frightened her.
She wouldn’t speak to them, but their low voices had seemed to comfort her. She’d breathed easier and her eyes had begun to close again.
When her eyes closed and remained that way, her breathing evening out, he and Hayes had looked at each other over her sleeping form, hardly daring to move for fear of waking her.
Only to have her wake up screaming.
When she turned on her side facing Hayes, Wyatt curled up behind her, tightening the hand at her belly to pull her close. Careful to keep his voice low, he breathed in the scent of her, trying not to think about her naked ass pressing against his cock.
“How the hell are we going to get her past this? She won’t let either one of us out of her sight. She won’t eat. She just sits there with that glazed look in her eyes. She won’t even hold the baby, just cries when she sees him.”
Hayes sighed and dropped the back of his hand over his forehead. “We give her time. We give her love. Maybe we should take her with us tomorrow when we go to Tulsa.”
Wyatt sighed, the knot in his stomach growing larger.
“Or, taking her could be the worst thing for her. Christ, I don’t want to hurt her any more. This husband stuff isn’t as easy as it looks. I can’t stand seeing her this way. She’s breaking my heart, and I don’t know what the hell to do to fix it.”
Hayes shifted in the bed beside her.
“She’s so damned fragile and insecure, and yet she shoots better than any man I’ve ever met. It took sand to draw those pistols. She knew it was the only thing to do when she did it. We just have to be patient and keep reminding her of that. Until she gets over it, we’re going to have to walk on eggshells around her.”
Wyatt sighed in the darkness, marveling at the woman beside him. Every time he closed his eyes, he remembered the way her eyes had gone flat and cold right before she took the shot that saved Maggie.
And then he remembered how she fainted right afterward, and how she’d clung to him today, her face wet with tears as she begged him to hold her.
Every time he thought he couldn’t love her more than he did at that moment, she proved him wrong. His love for her grew every day, every minute, until he thought he would burst.
Keeping her safe and making her happy had become more important to him than anything else in the world.
If only he could get through to her.
* * * *
Wyatt came awake a few hours later, too restless to sleep any more. After motioning to Hayes, he dressed in the darkness and quietly made his way downstairs.
He couldn’t stop thinking about Savannah and the pain she suffered for taking a life. He wondered if perhaps they should take her somewhere else, a city where she would be safer.
He went out the door and started down the steps, pausing as the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.
In a move as instinctive as breathing, he reached for his gun, pausing when he heard a chuckle.
“Good instincts, but not up to your usual standards. I could have shot you in the back before you even noticed me.”
Already in a bad mood, Wyatt didn’t need to deal with Jeremiah this morning.
“Yeah, well, you didn’t, now did you?” Turning, he started for the chow house, in desperate need of some of Duke’s strong coffee.
Jeremiah fell into step beside him.
“Savannah all right? We heard her scream a couple of hours ago.”
The fear that had made his heart burst nearly out of his chest when her screams of horror woke him came rushing back.
“Nightmare.”
“Figured as much. Nearly fell off the bed when I heard it and was halfway to her before I remembered that you and Hayes were there.”
Wyatt nodded and said nothing. Once inside the already bustling building, he went straight to the coffee.
Duke handed him a biscuit.
“Savannah all right? She hardly touched her dinner last night. I warned everyone not to say anything about her shooting, but the men are nearly bursting at the seams with pride. Damned fine shooting. Bravest little thing I ever saw.”
Jeremiah poured his own coffee.
“She had a nightmare last night.”
To Wyatt’s surprise, most of the men gathered around, grim-faced. The concern in their eyes humbled him and reminded him just how much men here cared for all the women who lived here.
Under normal circumstances, he would have kept it to himself, but he couldn’t deny the sense of relief he felt at being able to share his worry.
In more private areas, he shared concerns dealing with Savannah with Hayes alone, another benefit of the lifestyle they’d chosen, but since everyone knew what happened the day before, he figured it might help to get other opinions.
With a sigh, he dropped onto one of the benches. “She can’t get over killing a man. She’s not eating. She has a hard time going to sleep, just stares at the ceiling for hours. When we finally get her to sleep, she wakes up screaming. She doesn’t want to talk but keeps us in sight at all times. Hayes stayed with her because we didn’t want her to wake up alone.”
The other men nodded, their expressions of concern making Wyatt feel a little better.
Blade frowned. “I saw that she wasn’t wearing her guns at dinner. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to take them from her right now.”
Wyatt set his empty cup aside.
“Hell, we didn’t take them from her. I feel better if she’s armed, especially after seeing the way she can shoot. She took them off and won’t even look at them.”
It frustrated the hell out of him, wondering how long he could let her go around unarmed in a place like this.
Gideon spoke up from the next table.
“You’d better get them back on her soon or you won’t get her to wear them again at all.”
Wyatt nodded. He’d already figured that out, but had no idea how to do it, short of holding her down and strapping her holster on her.
Probably not a good way to treat an almost hysterical woman.
“We’ve got to take her uncle and the others back to Tulsa—including the dead man. We’re not sure if Savannah’s going to insist on coming with us or not. We hope not, but, like I said, she won’t let us out of her sight, and I’m sure as hell not going to leave her behind if she wants to go.”
Picturing her face as she’d clung to him he groaned inwardly. He’d never be able to leave her here if she wanted to come with them.
The look on her face alone would haunt him.
After pouring a cup of coffee for both Hayes and Savannah, Wyatt straightened.
“I’ll let you know whatever she decides. If she stays, will you all help keep an eye on her?”
Jeremiah slapped his back, his expression somber. “That goes without saying. You’re in Desire now, remember? Hell, we knew it was going to take all of us to protect the women, but I don’t think we realize
d the extent of it until now. In Savannah’s present state, she won’t even be able to protect herself. We’ve got to do something. Until then, we’re all going to watch her like hawks.”
* * * *
Savannah came awake to the sound of her own scream, jolting upright only seconds before the door to the bedroom flew open and Eb raced to her side.
With a hand at the back of her head, he held her close, his other hand rubbing her back in long, smooth strokes.
“You’re all right. There’s nobody here. You’re safe. It’s all right, honey.”
Slumping against him, she took a shuddering breath, wishing it was Wyatt or Hayes holding her.
“I’m sorry. It’s stupid.” Embarrassed that she’d woken him for the fourth night in a row, Savannah pulled the covers higher.
Eb eased back. “It’s not stupid, and you don’t have anything to be sorry about.”
He stood and seconds later a match struck. Eb lit the lantern on the table close to the bed, raising the wick to provide plenty of light. Taking a seat in the chair next to the table, he ran a hand through his disheveled hair and sat back.
“You’ve had nightmares every night since the shooting.”
She reached for the shawl lying on the end of the bed and wrapped it around her shoulders, her face burning.
“I know. I’m sorry I keep waking you up. Between me and the babe, you’re not getting any sleep at all.”
Eb came to his feet. “Stay put. I’ll be right back.”
He came back minutes later with two glasses and a bottle of whiskey.
Savannah grimaced. “I don’t want a drink.”
Eb poured them anyway and handed her one. “Too bad. I’m not drinking alone and I think a couple of sips will do you good. Drink it or I’ll pour it down you.”
Savannah took the glass and smelled it, watching as he went back to the chair.
“It smells awful.”
Eb smiled. “It’s an acquired taste.” His smile fell, his eyes narrowing. “Just take a sip or two. You’re still shaking.” His tone, one of a man used to giving orders, made her smile.
“You’re bossy. I don’t know why Maggie puts up with you.”
Raising a brow, he eyed her steadily.
“Yes, you do. It’s the same reason you put up with Wyatt and Hayes. You love them and know that they love you just as much. Your men are just as arrogant as I am, and you wouldn’t want them any other way. Now, drink your damned whiskey.”
Holding her breath against the strong smell, she took a healthy sip, and immediately began choking. She tried to gulp in air, tears filling her eyes at the burning sensation that travelled all the way down her throat and to her belly. Coughing, she struggled for air and tried to shove Eb away when he rushed to her side and started patting her back.
Finally able to breathe, she met his look of concern over her shoulder, missing Hayes and Wyatt more by the minute.
Eb presence steadied her, but didn’t give her the comfort Wyatt’s or Hayes’s would have.
Attempting to lighten the mood, Savannah smacked at his arm. “Are you trying to kill me?”
Eb smiled, a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“Hardly. Are you ready to talk about it? I know I’m not Hayes or Wyatt, but you and I have known each other a long time, Savannah. You know you can trust me.”
She didn’t know if the whiskey loosened her tongue or if the frustration of waking in the middle of the night to her own screams had gotten to her, but she nodded in silent agreement.
Waiting until he took his seat again, she hesitantly took another sip of her drink. Surprised to find that it tasted a little better than it had the last time, and liking the way it warmed her insides, Savannah scooted back against the large headboard and cradled the glass in her hand, staring down into it.
“It’s different now.” She spit the words out in a rush before she lost her courage, surprised to find that just saying them made her feel better. Glancing up to gauge his reaction, she wrapped both hands around the glass.
Eb raised a brow and set his drink aside.
“Oh? How?”
Savannah took another sip, finding each sip easier to drink than the last. She found it also made the dream seem further away and easier to talk about.
“At first I kept seeing that man’s face. I was staring at his eyes when I shot him. I was trying to pretend his face was a can. It was the only way I could do it. The only way I could shoot him was to pretend I was shooting a can like we did back in Kansas City.”
Eb nodded. “I can understand that. I’ll be honest with you, Savannah, my heart was in my throat when I heard what Maggie said to you and I realized what you were going to do. As long as I live, I’ll never be able to repay you for taking that shot. You saved Maggie’s and Ace’s lives. That man wouldn’t have stopped. He held a gun to a woman and a baby. Any man who would do that would do anything. You know that.”
After tossing back the remains of his drink, he poured another, a muscle working in his jaw. “I have my own nightmares about that day.”
Sitting back, he regarded her steadily. “So, how did the dream change?”
Savannah shrugged and took another small sip, surprised that her eyes seemed to be getting heavier.
“Sometimes I still see his eyes when I shoot him, but then I miss him and hit Maggie. I killed her over and over. I killed my best friend. Everyone hated me after that and my best friend was gone.”
Eb set his glass aside, his eyes piercing and filled with his own horror.
“That didn’t happen.” He slammed his glass on the table and slid from the chair to kneel at her feet, gripping her empty hand.
“My nightmare is the same, but it didn’t happen. Another nightmare is that you didn’t take the shot at all and that bastard took her, or killed her himself, which he would have as soon as she was no longer useful. Don’t think for one minute, though, that we would have hated you if you’d missed. We all know how much you love Maggie and Ace. Any one of us would have taken that shot rather than let him kill her.”
Her vision blurred as her eyes filled with tears.
“Something like that could happen again. What if everyone counted on me and I failed? What if someone’s life depended on me and I got them killed? What if I couldn’t take the life of another human being again, even if it would save the life of someone here?”
She took another sip, surprised to see that her glass was empty. “I killed a man, Eb.”
Eb stood and took her glass, setting it on the table as he took his seat again.
“Wyatt and Hayes should be home soon. I’m glad you stayed here instead of going with them. You’ve changed in the last couple of days. Settled some.”
Savannah shrugged negligently, but tears continued to well in her eyes.
“I miss Wyatt and Hayes. I didn’t think I could feel anymore, but I miss Wyatt and Hayes so much.”
She took a deep breath, and met Eb’s searching gaze.
“I love them. I hate what I had to do, but I would do it again. It took time to realize that. I’d hate it, but I’d do it. God help me, I’d do it again to save someone I love.”
Struggling to keep her eyes open, she pulled the shawl tighter around her against the chill that went through her. “I didn’t know how hard it would be here. How primitive. How dangerous.”
She looked up as the door opened, expecting Maggie or Jeremiah.
Her heart leapt into her throat when Wyatt walked through, followed closely behind by Hayes. Both men looked dirty, tired, and worried—but to her, they’d never looked better.
All the love she felt for them broke like a dam inside her, and a sob broke free before she could prevent it.
They both rushed toward her, barely glancing at Eb, their eyes raking over her with a breathtaking mixture of hunger, concern, and love.
Her pulse tripped, her body already tingling with awareness and aching to feel their bodies against hers.
“But to h
ave Wyatt and Hayes in my life, I’d face anything. I don’t think I could live without them.”
Wyatt stepped forward.
“Something you’ll never have to do.” Bending, he touched his lips to hers. “I need to get cleaned up before I hold you.” He glanced over his shoulder at Eb. “Problem?”
Eb came to his feet.
“Another nightmare. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the last. I think she just needed the two of you to get home. What took you so long?”
Hayes was already stripping off his clothes, revealing a leanly muscular body that never failed to arouse her.
“Got all the furniture and dealt with the sheriff. We aren’t planning to leave again anytime soon. We’ll be moving into the house tomorrow. Good night, Eb.”
Laughing softly, Eb stood and moved to the door. “I can take a hint.”
Hayes eyed her in the mirror as he poured water into the bowl and reached for the soap.
“Good. I want my wife. Get out.”
Chapter Sixteen
Savannah giggled in delight when Hayes grabbed the hem of her nightgown and whipped it over her head, reaching for him even before the material could hit the floor.
“I missed you, you know? I was starting to wonder if you were ever coming back. I’m all right now. I keep having dreams, though.”
Snuggling into him as he got into the bed beside her, Savannah traced the line of his scar with the tip of her finger.
“This makes you look scary, but in a roguish way. Very handsome.”
Hayes narrowed his eyes. “You’re drunk. Eb give you whiskey?”
Savannah nodded, that warm feeling inside her growing as his hand moved down her body.
“A little. I had a bad dream, and he gave me a drink. I killed Maggie.”
“What?” Hayes looked more than a little shaken, and even Wyatt stopped washing up to come to the end of the bed.
Shaking her head, Savannah grinned. “Not really. In my dream.” Her smile fell as the horror of that dream came back to her. “I missed and killed Maggie. Eb says he has the same dream. It’s scary. I don’t like that I killed a man, but I think I would do it again if I had to. I hope I never have to.”