by K. A. Linde
“You sound like you wouldn’t go even if they did.”
I made a face. “Undecided.”
“She’s your sister!”
“She’s…well, Katherine is Katherine. If I showed back up, she’d find a way to try to make me stay. And I kind of like it here.”
A smile played on my lips when I looked at her again. I liked being here. I liked being with Sutton. There was no way in the world I would want to go back to dealing with my family…even Katherine, who I did miss.
Her eyes were lowered with dark lashes playing across her cheeks. When she opened her eyes again, it was clear that she had interpreted my words the way they were intended. I should have been subtler. I should have held back. I shouldn’t have been so direct.
But it had just slipped out. And she wasn’t backing away. She wasn’t closing in on herself. She was meeting my gaze.
It was as if something had shifted in the last two weeks. Something had shaken loose in her chest. Maybe it was the new job or being past the one-year mark or something…but she seemed as if she was more open.
Yet I still didn’t push it. I didn’t say anything further. I’d misinterpreted her gaze on the Fourth of July. I wouldn’t do it again.
“Well,” Sutton said, clearing her throat, “I don’t want you to leave either, but you probably shouldn’t miss your sister’s wedding.”
“Maybe I’ll take you with me when the time comes, and you can meet her.” I couldn’t believe the words left my mouth, even as I said them.
“I’d like to meet her. That’d be nice.”
Our food finally showed up, saving me from saying something else stupid. We dug into our tacos and let the conversation shift into mundane things like my job and how much she loved the new bakery and the new words that Jason had said this week. It seemed he was learning new words every day. He had a mind like a steel trap.
I paid for both of us against her objections. “You can get it next time.”
“There’s a movie I want to see. If you don’t mind a superhero movie, I could get the tickets,” she suggested with a nonchalance that could not be mirrored.
I stumbled on my step outside and caught the glass door. I played it off like a legitimate trip instead of shock at her words. Was she…asking me out?
“You do like superhero movies, right?” she asked quickly.
“I do in fact.”
“Great. Friday?”
I chanced a glance at her, and she seemed completely with it. She wasn’t growing a second head or anything. This was normal. She wanted to hang out with me. By her expression, it was clear that this would not be a date. Friends…again.
“Friday sounds great.”
Six
Sutton
“Jenny, have you seen my brown Tory Burch sandals?” I asked, scanning the living room.
“You left them behind the side table.”
“Of course I did.” I circled the couch and found the mysterious sandals exactly where Jenny had said they were. I slipped my feet into them.
“Mommy!” Jason cried as he toddled into the living room.
“Hey, bud.” I scooped him up in my arms and nuzzled his cute little neck. “Are you ready for your party with Jen?”
He nodded eagerly. “You pwetty.”
“Aw, thanks, little dude.” I glanced up at Jenny as I set him back on his feet. “I actually managed makeup today.”
“You look great, Sut,” Jenny said warmly. “It’s good to see you looking a bit more like yourself. I hope you have fun on your date.”
I froze in place, the smile slipping from my face. “Date?” I sputtered.
“Uh…yeah?”
Jason tugged on her sleeve, and she sank to her feet to play with his toy trucks. I saw the whole thing through a haze. Normally, I’d jump right in with them and have a ball. But, right now, I was…unraveling.
“It’s not…” I shook my head. “It isn’t…is it?”
“Well, I mean, I thought it was,” Jenny said with a grimace. “If it’s not, then it’s not.”
“We didn’t say—I mean, shit!”
“Shit!” Jason repeated loudly.
I slapped a hand over my mouth, and Jenny stifled a laugh.
“We don’t say those kinds of words. Only grown-ups do,” she explained.
“Mommy did.”
“Yes. Mommy is a grown-up.”
He shot her what served as an exasperated look and went back to his trucks.
“Sorry,” I muttered. “I don’t think it’s a date. Do you think it’s a date?”
“Well, you got a sitter to go to the movies on a Friday night with a guy,” Jenny said, leaving the statement hanging.
“Right…right,” I repeated. “Of course. He probably thinks it’s a date. Oh my God, I don’t know how to date, Jenny. I don’t want to date. I’m not ready.”
“Calm down. Just breathe. It doesn’t have to be a date.”
“But it is. It’s a date. I’m going to have to cancel.”
“What?” Jenny asked in disbelief.
I sank into the couch and put my head in my hands. I didn’t know why this hadn’t occurred to me before. Of course it looked like a date from the outside. When I’d asked David to go to the movies, we’d just had such an incredible lunch, and everything had felt so normal. I’d thought I was going for an extension of what we were already doing that afternoon.
Not a…date.
A real-life fucking date.
I hadn’t been on one of those before Maverick in…years.
“I can’t do this.”
“Sutton…you shouldn’t cancel.”
No, I absolutely had to cancel. This wasn’t fair to David at all. I was a mess. A total hot mess. Maverick had only been gone a year, and no guy should have to deal with me in the middle of this.
I had just started my first job. That was enough new for one month at least. Working at Kimber’s was amazing and refreshing in a way that I’d never known work could be. But that was entirely different than going on a date.
David was…no, I didn’t even know what he was. Attractive, of course. Kind, sweet, happy, and kind of wonderful. That didn’t mean I should date him. Or anyone for that matter.
No one would want all my baggage. I didn’t even want all my baggage. And how could I really start over with Maverick still haunting me every night? With his son staring up at me from the floor of the house we’d bought together? With all the memories swallowing me whole?
I swiped my hands under my eyes and stood. My stomach clenched as I glanced around the house. A job was enough. Dating was…dating was something else.
“I’m going to go call him,” I whispered as I disappeared into the foyer.
I heard Jenny sigh, but she could hardly blame me for being reticent.
David answered on the first ring. “Hey, Sutton. I’m not late again, am I?”
“No.” I coughed to cover choking on my answer.
“Everything all right?”
“I…I have to cancel,” I whispered hollowly.
“Oh,” he said, his voice dipping in distress. “What happened? Are you okay? Was Jenny not free? We could stay in and hang out with Jason, if you’d prefer.”
I closed my eyes over his kind words. Nothing had happened. No, I was definitely not okay. Of course, it would seem like it was something else other than my own brain turning traitor against me.
“I just…can’t…do this.”
“This?”
“Us.”
He let the word hover through the phone. “I wasn’t aware there was an us, Sutton.”
“I don’t know how to do this.” My hand rested on my heart, and I leaned my head back as I tried to get words to form.
“There’s a you, and there’s a me. It can just be you and me.”
“I’m not ready to date. I didn’t realize that this was a date when I asked you. And, now, I realize it’s a date. I’m a scattered mess, David. I feel like shit, and…God, now, I
’m rambling.” I took a deep, rattling breath. “I’m not in a good place. It would be unfair to you to have expectations that this is something other than friendship.”
“Sutton, I didn’t think that this was a date,” he said calmly.
“You didn’t?” I asked in horror.
“No. But, if you’re worried that it is, we don’t have to go. Or I can assure you that we’re just going as friends. Or we can, again, stay in and hang out with Jason. There are no expectations here.”
“Well…I just made myself look stupid.”
My cheeks heated. I couldn’t believe I’d freaked out on David on the phone before we were supposed to go to the movies. All because of the word date. And then he hadn’t even thought it was a date. It was just something that Jenny had assumed, and I’d gotten it stuck in my head.
My panic attack had been for nothing.
“You don’t look stupid. I understand why you would freak out about dating. You decide what you want to do, and I’ll go with that.”
I paced into the living room, and Jenny turned a not-subtle-at-all look of eagerness in my direction.
“Well?” she whispered.
I shrugged and waved her away, returning my attention to David, “I…I don’t know. Do you still want to go?”
Jenny hissed behind me, “Go!”
I made a face at her, sticking my tongue out. Jason laughed from where he was seated and did the same. He was such a mirror at this age.
“I would love to go still, but if you’re not comfortable, then we don’t have to. It’s up to you.”
My heart pattered in my chest. He’d said it wasn’t a date and that it could just be us going out as friends. Plus, I did want to see the movie. That hadn’t been a lie when I asked him in the first place. It seemed a waste not to go when I had Jenny for the night. Maybe I was making excuses to still go.
But, with the scary word out of the way…it could be fine.
“Okay. Let’s…let’s still go,” I told him.
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I was looking forward to it before I had a panic attack.”
“All right. I’ll be there soon to get you.”
I hung up the phone and sank back down in the couch.
“I completely freaked out on him. Why does he put up with me?”
“Do you want the truth?” Jenny asked.
My heart skipped at the implication. Then, I shook my head. “Lie to me.”
Jenny arched her eyebrow. “He’s a really good friend, and he sees you as a little sister that he wants to take care of. It’s nothing special. Your heart need not get involved.”
If that was the lie, I definitely wasn’t ready to hear the truth.
Seven
David
I knew this was a mistake.
The second I’d heard Sutton’s voice on the phone, I had known that she was going to cancel. That the thought of us alone in a darkened movie theater was going to undo her. Even though we’d never made it seem like it was a date, the implication was there. And, when she’d realized, she’d done a complete one-eighty.
I was honestly surprised that she’d even decided to go through with it. It hadn’t sounded like she wanted to. And, like the sucker I was, I didn’t back out. I probably should have. It would have been easier for both of us.
Then, I wouldn’t be sitting outside of her house in my parked Ferrari, trying to decide how to make this non-date not feel like a date.
Still, I stepped out of the car, made my way up the path to the front door, and knocked. I waited with my hands in my pockets. No flowers in sight. No expectations. That was what I’d promised. I could do this. The last thing I wanted was for Sutton to have a breakdown. She’d been through enough. I wasn’t going to add more to her plate.
The click of the lock made me straighten my spine. Sutton peered out the door as if she didn’t know it would be me standing there. Her bright eyes were round and rimmed with coal, her lashes long. Her lips were coated in a neutral pink color that did nothing but draw my attention to them.
“You made it,” she said by way of a welcome. She dragged the door open wider.
“I did.”
I got my first glimpse at the gauzy cerulean dress that matched her eyes and the way it made her pale skin almost glow in the low lighting. With her hair down and light makeup, she looked like a goddess straight out of Greek mythology. I gawked. I couldn’t help it.
Thank God she wasn’t looking at me.
“Jenny, we’re about to leave. Do you need anything from me?” Sutton asked.
“Nope. I’m good.” She turned to me. “Hey, David.”
“Appreciate you helping your friend tonight, Jen.”
“Anytime.” She ruffled Jason’s hair. “Say good-bye to your mom.”
“Bye, Mom,” he said, flapping his hands. Then, he ran and wrapped his arms around her legs.
She kissed the top of his head. “Love you. Pay attention to Jenny, and I’ll see you later. Can you say bye to David?”
Jason smiled up at me. The kid was too cute. All chubby cheeks and fine, dark hair and all-seeing big eyes. He waved at me, too.
“Night, Jason.”
Jenny pulled him back as Sutton exited the house. They waved us all the way back to my car. I popped open the passenger door for Sutton, who fidgeted with her purse and then sank into the seat. I realized as I closed the door behind her that I’d gone on autopilot and opened her door for her. Just as I would on a date.
I silently chastised myself and vowed to get it together before I jumped into the driver’s side and veered toward the theater.
“The theater on University, right?” I asked just to verify.
Her head popped up. “Oh…no. I, uh, I got tickets to Alamo. I can’t…go into the other movie theater anymore. Too many memories.”
Oh. Maverick. She must have gone to the other theater with him. That made sense. It was the one where most of the college students went since it had the deep reclining seats and better specials.
“Sounds good. Alamo it is. I’ve been meaning to try it anyway.”
She blew out a breath and then nodded. I could see her struggling to come to terms with actually being out with me. I was shocked that we had made it to this point myself. A year of pining after someone utterly unattainable had forced me to realize that this might never happen. It likely never would. No chance. Horrible for me to even consider the possibility.
Sutton Wright was a widow.
I didn’t deserve this spark of hope for us. But I wasn’t going to turn away now.
Our drive to the movie theater was filled with Top 40 radio and idle chitchat. She seemed nervous, and I didn’t want to give her a reason to feel that way. I just wanted to enjoy my time with her. Date or no date.
Alamo Drafthouse wasn’t like other movie theaters. There was no one waiting to check your tickets or a long line for concessions. Instead, there were Star Wars cardboard cutouts and a fully stocked bar. It was smaller than the other theaters in town, but the theater and its clientele liked it that way.
We made our way to our theater and found our seats in the top row. The patterned chairs were red to match the carpet and the walls with a raised table between every pair of seats. A waiter dutifully appeared at our table with a smile once we sat down.
He checked the tickets Sutton had purchased on her phone and then took our order. “If you want anything else, just stick an order card up.”
Sutton nodded. “This place is the best.”
“I already like it.”
“Just wait until you try my root beer float.” She groaned. “To die for.”
“Noted.”
I leaned back and waited for our food to get there as the theater filled to capacity. It was opening weekend for the latest Marvel movie. I was surprised she could get good enough tickets. I’d heard this place filled up. I said as much to her.
She blushed. “Uh…”
“What?” I asked, finding the slig
ht blush on her cheeks irresistible.
“Okay, confession: I might…or might not have purchased these tickets two months ago when they went on sale.”
“Two months ago?” My eyes widened in disbelief.
“Yeah. How the hell would I have gotten these seats at this time otherwise? Are you crazy?”
“Were you supposed to go with someone else?”
“Well…no. I mean…I bought two tickets together because I didn’t want to go alone. But I didn’t ask anyone else. Annie was always my backup.”
“Uh-huh. Annie is the backup? You mean…Annie ditched you, and you invited me?”
“No!” she spat. “That is not what I mean. I’m glad you’re with me. Annie just drools over the hot guys.”
“And you don’t?”
“Of course I do. But I also like the comics and the storytelling and the politics and the romance. I like all of it.”
“Are we really here to stare at a Hemsworth brother?”
She fluttered her eyelashes at me. “Would you blame me?”
“I mean…he is pretty hot,” I conceded.
She scoffed. “They’re all stupid pretty. It’s really not fair to have this many six-packs in one movie.”
“Six-packs are so overrated.”
“Totally,” she said, waving her hand at me. “I mean, God, just look at you. Who wants that much muscle anyway?”
I couldn’t help it; I burst into laughter. “You don’t know I have a six-pack.”
“Don’t you go to the gym every morning?”
“Yeah.”
I wasn’t exactly a gym rat. But I was the kind of person who did my best thinking when my mind was otherwise occupied. I’d been running since I was a kid, and I never really stopped. The weights and toning had come later. I solved so many problems while on the elliptical or doing pull-ups or weighted crunches. It was part of my routine now.
“I’ve been around my brothers long enough to know the type of guys who go to the gym every day,” she said with a smile. Then, she pinched my bicep.
Her touch sent a thrill through my whole body. Our eyes locked as the lights lowered to begin the previews. I knew I should look away. That would be the smart thing. Give her the space she needed. But staring into her blue eyes, I wanted nothing more than to lean into her, to make this more than it was.