Diary Of An Occult Resolution Assistant

by Chris Norgate

  With the knowledge my employer was, at this time, being escorted out of the hospital and free to follow me here I texted my location and waited.

  22:30

  There was a beautiful melody with high fresh piano notes dancing delicately through deep honeyed brass thumping tones tied together with vibrant violin strings that vibrated in time with my heart.

  I woke with a thick blanket covering me and a wad of wet napkins placed under my cheek collecting my dribble. Awareness poured in and on the table was a rough plan of a building and around the table where my bench surrounded were three people talking.

  "Glad you could join us sleepyhead. I hope you are refreshed as we have a hard night ahead of us." Xanthic was next to me and I pulled myself together trying to work out what was going on so I didn't look foolish in front of the person who employs me and could just as easily un-employ me or give me a pay rise. "You remember Hal, this is his disciple."

  I acknowledged Harahel who sat opposite me looking every bit as uncomfortable and out of place within the greasy spoon as I would in the middle of Buckingham Palace.

  "My assistant if you please. I imagine you appreciate the arrangement." he said wiping the cutlery in an immaculately white handkerchief.

  "The barman? Bit of a change of career isn't it?" as soon as I focused on him I recognised him from the bar.

  "I'm sorry." he said looking confused. "I've never worked in any pub. Adym Smith. Nice to meet you."

  He held out his hand and I shook it delicately, but even then I had the firmer of the two grips. His name was Smith, to rhyme with lithe from the way he said it in rich educated tones but somewhere deep inside I knew it was spelt as if it rhymed with pith. "I'm not a hands dirty kind of guy." he winked and I felt like I was being impressed - in one of our minds anyway.

  "Well one day you will be the second best barman in the whole village. And when you are just remember one important thing: You must always share your chips." I smiled back and squeezed his hand again as hard as I could; he grimaced and I was deeply satisfied.

  "Children please," Xanthic spoke and I pulled my hand back and sat waiting for my duties. "we know there are at least two people inside, we saw them take boxes of fruit and veg inside and supermarket bags for life bulging with meat. So either they are really hungry, getting ready for a party or..."

  "Or," Hal cut in. "There is at least one other person who requires sustenance. So you need to go inside and have a look."

  Three heads as one turned to look at him.

  "There is obviously something going on. I can taste it in the air and feel it on the wind. Here lies evil and that’s your business which is why you are going; and to make sure you play it straight, Adym here is going to keep an eye on you."

  My head turned to look at Xanthic whose features froze before recovering in a grin filled with teeth that sharpen and re-flattened before our eyes.

  "I charge extra for babysitting." he said flatly.

  The discussion continued over what they thought was inside. Xanthic considered the possibility of a continuation of a nest filled with similar to the crying lady and her sister, which fascinated both grown-ups as they contemplated an undiscovered breed of Under-Fae that didn't exist on record. Hal knew this as he checked his portable tablet computer regularly looking for any clue to what they were and why they could be here.

  I suggested they could be homeless and staying in this building, abandoned by time and removed from usefulness and would make an ideal refuge from the harsh realities of the world, or as I put it, they are squatting in the derelict hotel.

  The grown-ups passed over this comment and continued on. Adym sympathised with me and we got talking on the side. He was a little older than me and well educated in the best schools his parents could afford and entered university to study theology and ancient history. A inspired paper written on how Angels interacted with our ancestors led to a visit from his own personal guardian Angel who offered him a research position in his library and he's spent the rest of his time reading old books and loving every second of it.

  I found myself liking this guy and seeing how the Bosses were on the subject of subspecies cross evolving streams we popped outside to take in the cool night air. There wasn't any view to speak of but we chatted lightly about the colours of the darkening sky and how vivid and bright it can be just before it goes dark. The talk was light but I needed that right now after the heaviness of the days past.

  A black Zafira van passed us and entered the junction of Castle road and pulled up outside the building once known as the Medway Hotel. Two large men got out of the front doors and went to the boot. This passed by almost unnoticed in our banter until I pointed out the black hulk of the vehicle and said to Adym I had one of those things or at least I would have in a few days time. Adym looked confused and he let me know he thought he was in the company of a mad woman - especially due to the company I kept, but I told him it's all perfectly normal in a roundabout kind of way and also did he know how many coffins you could get in the back of one of those things. We looked across and he guessed four, if they were stacked up; when the two men opened the tailgate and pulled out long canvas bag about five and a half foot long and heavy enough to require all their efforts to lift it and they staggered towards the front of the Medway and walked through the front doors. As they disappeared I started wrapping on the glass window to attract the attention of my superior and was rewarded with a hand wave of dismissal without even a glance from either of them who were engrossed in their intellectual discussion to the point of red faces and raised fists.

  "I'm going to go and have a look over there. You stay here and round up the boys if you hear a scream." I tried to smile in an ironic and confident manner but he laughed and told me to knock myself out.

  I crossed the street and performed an initial survey of the building. It was a detached building of thirty paces facing the road and twenty along the side down an alley which stopped at a tall wooden fence. All the windows had been boarded up so gave me no information at all and annoyingly for the age and overall dilapidation of the structure, all the boards were well fixed in place and immovable. The shutters covered all opening on the first and second floor but the third and fourth floors were exposed, but as I don't carry around a large ladder in my pocket I doubt these would prove useful. Back at the front the double doors that once welcomed guests from all over the Country and the World to the delights of late Victorian and Early Edwardian elegance were today covered in a skin of plywood and stencilled words of 'do not enter' and 'danger of death'; both were firmly locked.

  The other side held a fire-escape which had a metal plate over the ladder to prevent anyone ascending to the first gantry, which was also closed by a flat metal plate and padlocked to prevent removal. Having tiny feet paid off as I could just get a toe into the side of each rung and I got myself up to the first floor and then in an unladylike manner, I swung a leg over one rusty metal ledge and reached out with a hand to the railing above. I lost a nail against a jagged edge and I thanked the heavens it wasn't the whole finger; but I did get myself up onto the side of the gantry suitable for safe human travel. The next storey was easy enough to pass but the way to the third had been rusted through leaving half a ladder from my shoulders up. I jumped hoping the part left was secure enough to take my weight and it took all of my strength to pull my weight up reach up with one hand to the next rung where I had to start the process off again. Three more Herculean efforts later and I could get a knee up and onto the ledge. I rested feeling the effort take its toll and knowing I would be sore tomorrow then edged round keeping low so I could get to a window without giving my presence away to anyone - or thing, inside the room. I had forgot about the clunking, banks and grunts that I caused during my scaling of the fire-escape but stealth has yet to be covered in my training syllabus. There was no boarding up here but the windows but the thick dust and grime was as an effective block as sheet plywood covers. I tried to pull open the window but it ha
d seized through seasonal swelling, painting over and lack of use over decades. I tried the next and then the next, which was as far as the metal walkway went along the side of the building, none moved. So I had to move them. A small tap to a fragile pain was enough to extend my vision into the building. It was a sight but a stink that caused my skin to crawl over itself to get away and I rolled back itching across all my exposed skin as if some contamination had come out with the stale air. I half fell down the fire-escape as I dropped to the ground and scampered across to the greasy spoon that, for a deserted area of London, was open surprisingly long hours. Sat inside and still in deep conversation were Hal and Xanthic; Adym was sat on a separate bench with earphone in unaware of everything but the tinny music escaping around the buds in his ears. Did the little snot even tell the big boys I was undertaking a solo mission into enemy territory? Well he can forget any date I may have given him even if he asked really nicely. I tried to subconsciously convey this by accidentally kicking him hard as I walked past.

  "Sorry, didn't see your leg there." I cooed.

  Hal responded as soon as I drew close so I didn't even have to interrupt them subtly or otherwise.

  "What a stink! What have you been rolling in?"

  "Come here and sit down." this was Xanthic dropping all communication with his opposite and equal and focused on me wholly. "What have you just done? Tell me from the start and miss nothing, absolutely nothing."

  I was struck by the seriousness of the tone used so gave a highly detailed surmise of the previous ten minutes including all I could over the building, its structure and integral defences. I thought as I talked, OK it was dangerous and stupid to have gone by myself but I was frustrated at the slowness of progression but was it really this serious to be interrogated in this way? Harahel had asked a question but I didn't hear what he said as I was lost in my own thoughts.

  "Did you see the Abomination?" he asked again.

  "The what?" I replied not knowing what he meant.

  Xanthic too up the question and rephrased it with an explanation. "You stink of the undead, something soulless. Did you see it?"

  I answered no and finished my tale with how I broke the window and felt compelled to escape without further investigation.

  "It was like I had ants under my skin and I couldn't focus on anything."

  "Whatever is going on in there involves a Vampire, the stink and your symptoms confirm my suspicions. We break now, reconvene in daylight when it will be diminished and less of an issue to us when we break in."

  The briefing terminated shortly after, after Harahel issued this as Xanthic's in its entirety as vampires are as evil as anything swimming in the puss lakes below and Xanthic demanding Hal take the lead as vampires are soulless because his superior has forsaken them and as such the Commanders of the Under Armies have no regard for them because souls will be the ammunition in the war to come.

  We broke agreeing to meet after sun up at the end of the road and went our separate ways. As we left the greasy spoon and walked back towards where Xanthic abandoned his precious Jaguar the blacked out windowed Zafira drove past us and sped off into the night.

  *

  The Jag's tires fought for purchase on the cold tarmac but when they caught they threw the car forward. When we were gaining distance from Castle Road and the Medway Xanthic seemed to settle down and started to talk.

  "It's almost midnight and we have a lot to prepare. That slippery bastard of an Angel will let us do the dirty work I know it. His sort are always too proud to do anything practical or physical. He'll be useless in a fight too." it seemed like he was thinking aloud but I asked.

  "Will it come to that?"

  "Most certainly, vampires are stupid and arrogant. Without a soul they lose a lot of their inhibitions and fears as if highly intoxicated on their own self importance, they really are the worst of humanity distilled down into a being with no conscience and an inflated ego. They are repugnant to humans in the aura they generate like meeting a pumped up egomaniac with a trust fund in a gym and taking an instant dislike, that's the fear and revulsion you felt inside. Vampires have to envelop their prey in a glamour that makes them look handsome or beautiful to the eye and superior in status or rank to their prey, they make their quarry want to be close to them and in the end they willingly give themselves over to the beast, almost begging to be murdered and in that moment they relinquish their soul to the Limbo and as such unaccountable to my Dark Lord or the other One on the bright side."

  He pulled the steering wheel hard making the car lurch and tires squeal with every bend. His driving was matched by the celestial orchestra that followed in his aura-sonus trying to adapt their instruments to tunes from 'heavy metal for beginners'.

  "For a holier than thou attitude he is slipperier than a sardine inside Jonah's whale. He's going to stitch me up again and I'm going to make him owe me for it." he noticed me looking at him with a worried expression. "Get some sleep; I have a call to make."

  As the words left his lips I felt my eyes feel heavy and start to drop and I led back relaxing into the old supple leather of the Jaguar's seat. In those first moments leading towards sleep I tried to fight it and heard Xanthic dial a number and my mobile started to vibrate. It was quickly answered and my pocked stopped shaking.

  "Shhh," he said looking at me with his forefinger extended vertically covering his lips before turning to look where he was driving and continuing to talk into his phone. "I haven't got long and neither have you......"

  I must have been dreaming because I thought, just for a second before sleep took me away from all consciousness, my own voice answer. I dreamed of hospital wards and visiting myself at my bedside.

  *

  The brown light felt second hand and weak as it struggled to get past the years of grime covering the windows. Dust controlled all the surfaces with motes the size of insects floating through the air as we disturbed their resting places and left footprints and drag lines as we moved around the room; I was thankful there were no others joining ours on the floor which meant nothing had habituated the room before us for an age. The bed, left in its undisturbed state dominated the room and was by far the most impressive feature in the room, it’s bedspread decorated with an assortment of colours that although dulled with dust was still striking and un-faded. A wooden dresser with open drawers showed someone had searched through looking for anything left behind; the thick undisturbed dust indicated this was many years previous. The wallpaper was drab green with heraldic images that must have impressed the guests when such things were new and expensive but now it was barely staying on the walls.

  Xanthic had his ear to the door listening for any movement or indication that the hotel had any house guests. When he satisfied there were none - or at least none with the ability for making footsteps, he pulled the golden handle down and cracked the door open ajar. He stayed still for a long count and opened the door fully to step into hallway. In stark opposition to both mine and Adym's movements since entering the Medway he made no noise nor left any trail through the copious piles of dust.

  Our arrival back at the Medway as soon as our preparations had been complete. Harahel had found the plans for the building on line and they discovered a basement with access from both the kitchen store and the boiler room towards the back of the hotel. A large ornamental sky light in the central auditorium was built like a steeple out of glass would have shone light down from the top floor through the unobstructed centre structure down onto the reception desk but that was before it had been recommissioned as an avian latrine and cemetery for dead flies. Xanthic had made his preparations by changing his clothes and shoes - Italian leather does not last well if you plan to kick a vampire’s arse back to the Limbo; and as such he now had on a heavy pair of Doc Martin's.

  We had all ate in Harahel's perfect kitchen as the Angel sat trying not to look overly concerned or speak out for every spilt drop of tea that splashed on the immaculate table or tumbling butter smothered cru
mb of toast that crashed onto the perfect carpet - I was sure Xanthic contributed more to this count than possible with his plate held delicately under his chin whilst masticating and I’m almost sure the majority were accidental.

  Adym had found a King James bible and shoved it into a front chest pocket on his thick clothing, a plethora of crosses hung from practically everywhere especially around a reinforced neck collar - in an attempt to protect his vital fluids and struck me as a stupid idea, a duffel bag full of stakes completed his provisions. I just found a tight leather biker jacket with a wrap around poppered neck strap - well you never know with vampires around.

  We walked to the Jag and drove off while Adym waited outside a modern Volvo while Harahel held back to use a long handled dustpan and brush before anything stuck.

  When in attendance at the abandoned hotel, Xanthic first eyed the front doors and discarded them as a possible access way after two unsuccessful full footed kicks to the lock which resulted in nothing more than a feeble wobble so we relocated to the fire escape where he scaled it with ease like an ape ascending to the higher boughs of a forest canopy,before looking over the side and watching Adym and myself follow awkwardly and with great difficulty - like elderly elephants ascending to the highest boughs in a forest.

  "Remind me again why your Sainted employer couldn't be here with us." he asked Adym as we finally joined him out of breath and wheezing at the window I broke yesterday.

  "He was called away at the last minute to illuminate the Papal Council over a freshly discovered manuscript located inside an original Bible in the vaults and he will apologise to us all in person when he returns from the Vatican…….He was terribly sorry not to be here." he answered after too long a brief pause all the while not making eye contact with either of us.