Diary Of An Occult Resolution Assistant

by Chris Norgate

  Since then I had been given food and drink till I had consumed a small country's annual harvest and been given the freedom of the village and special treatment in every shops, cafe and pub - of which there are a grand total of four in total, as everyone seemed to be related to each other. The only person who wasn't celebrating as hard as everyone else was April's mother who nursed a glass of red wine in the corner of the room; she had a wide smile on her face but her eyes betrayed a deep sadness. I left my seat and through the bustling crowd made my way to her, slapping away a groping hand pressed against my rear and found comb-over looking as if his hand had a mind of its own and drew up next to the woman who thanked me again for bringing her daughter home. I spent time chatting to her and skirting around the elephant in the room.

  "Tell me about Samantha." I asked when the alcohol had all but run dry which had a direct correlation to the number of hangers on and the house emptied to just a couple of aunts who were manning the twin sink up to their elbows in soapy warm water.

  Maria, April's mother, all but broke down but regained herself heroically, I guessed she was well practiced. We talked for a long time about her beautiful daughter who one day was content to play with dolls and make daisy chains in the garden to then come home late night after night and refusing to leave her room. Then one day she just wasn't there, nothing taken in way of clothes or possessions and no note to explain any reasons why.

  "She used to love the river, spent a lot of time walking there." Maria spoke softly as if sharing her memories may in someway reduce them or by speaking them out loud set them free. "She went through the artist phase and carried an easel and water colours up there and came home hours later with overly wet streaky sheets of paper and a snapped brush. But she used to take April through the woods and play games hiding behind trees and jumping out on each other. She misses her sister you know, April that is. She wants to go up there all the time desperate to find her sister behind the next tree or swimming in the river."

  I felt so selfish as I knew I couldn't continue with this conversation being how drained and emotional I was after the night’s adventures. Seeing this woman stand so tall yet crumbling at the bottom of a deep valley under a burdensome weight ponderously balanced on the towering edge which threatened to descend with the finality of the last move in a game or finishing stroke from a cold-chisel on a gravestone was driving a cold wedge through my heart stealing what little resolve I had left. I looked for but was saved from finding the words to console or to offer comfort to her because there are no words to bridge the hole in a life where a daughter should be or from finding a way to leave without showing my nervousness over finding a way to extricate myself because her ever loving husband had noticed our conversation before politely disturbing it to lead her away to bed and to rescue me.

  Then I went home and fell asleep and nothing disturbed me for close to ten straight hours.

  18:45

  "Where have you been all day?" I asked Xanthic as I delivered two pints of honey amber liquid onto the table we commandeered into our service after we strolled down to The Jolly Reaper enjoying the early evening sun which seemed to shine brighter now the world had one less smudged soul walking upon it.

  "Too many loose ends have a habit of turning around and biting you like a flailing cat-o-nine-tails if not tied up proficiently so I had to maintain a free rolling time frame coefficient maximizing efficient use of resources to date stamp a green grass solution acceptable to the board and concerned members." he then took a long draw from his pint glass and replaced it onto the table containing only dregs.

  I was less than further educated over this statement and informed him judiciously."I tracked down the bird lady who hurt you and she won't be doing anything of the kind again, found Harahel and wasn't kind to him about anything and found a bed for Melody to sleep in while her hut is reassembled. Although she was less than enthusiastic over my idea but she also turned down the offer of a one man tent or a lift to the homeless shelter."

  He was warm with his conversation and settled back into the corner bench where he sat and the mood of the bar echoed him. warm and relaxing. Adym was at the bar working his last shift, he had handed in his notice much to the relief of the owner who didn't have the heart to tell him he was as useful around the bar as a chandelier in a hay barn or a stair-lift in a bungalow but as he was a very nice young man all the same and he couldn't tell him straight. A small leaving do had been organised and a small set of flags had been hung along the bar front and the ice bucket had been cleaned.

  "You know," I began, "The way April was last night or this morning, you know, around the river thing. It makes me think there was more going on there. You know she could see 'Others' as clear as if they had neon signs hovering above their head."

  Xanthic led forwards towards me and lowered his voice to a hum. "She is a very talented young human and has an amazing appreciation of what is actually in front of her eyes and not what there should or could be. I believe that fish was her sister, I spent the morning with my flies and rods down by the river just drifting through time talking to anyone that drifts through with me. No one can know you understand and I'll have a word or two in April's ear to remove any ideas she has about visiting the river anymore or daft ideas about anything living there. All anyone will know is Samantha ran away to London and stayed briefly at the Medway hotel before finding employment and a better life for herself. Her family will receive regular letters from her saying she’s happy but far too busy to visit and in the meantime I'll have a few of my acquaintances look into the possibilities of reversing whatever it is that’s happened to her. In the meantime a local story of Ginny Greenfingers needs to be submerged below the surface to stop anyone looking too hard."

  "Ginny who?" I gulped thinking there were more girls caught up in this.

  "Ginny Greenfingers is a very old legend of a green haired river creature who preys upon naughty small children who dare to go down to the water when their parents forbid them too. Although in this aspect of the legend it is genetic-magiculation at work, I believe someone was trying to recreate a mermaid from fossilised DNA."

  "Mermaid DNA, why is it fossilised?" I could hardly believe my ears and I did not know if this was true or another spun out story from a demon who enjoys misinformation as much as any leading politician.

  "Well as they became extinct centuries ago when sailors on the spice routes killed and ate them on long voyages it makes it hard to go out to get fresh supplies. Do you think they only decimated dodo and tortoise populations?"

  The conversation was brought to a close as Jed walked into the bar with Gemma hanging onto his arm as if she would be forever taken away from this world if she were to even briefly let go. They looked happy as did half a dozen other young couples who entered behind them. The conversation of all these young lips filled the bar with a family friendliness all country pubs have and everyone settled in for an evening of community and conviviality, if gossip about who was now seeing whom and what they were doing was on the cards too then all the better. There were polite apologies for any misunderstanding that may have occurred last time we met and they were all very sorry but couldn't remember what had got into them, maybe it was the heat of the day mixed with too little water and too much alcohol.

  "Harahel wants me to confiscate that bo staff of yours." he said sipping his froth, "You know it comes from The Tree of Knowledge."

  I could hear the capitals in the title as he spoke, he didn't make eye contact with Xanthic.

  "I do know, that’s why it was so useful, but did you know I could remove your eyeballs and skin them with a cocktail stick if you try."

  I smirked at this as I knew Xanthic was joking - I didn’t so much know, more hopeful he was joking.

  Xanthic continued with a smirk of his own. "But alas it has already been reclaimed. A group of individuals, and believe me when I say individuals as each one was completely different from all others in every conceivable way paid me a visitation
and requested I hand it over because something as remarkable and significant as a piece of wood that grew from the very tree at the centre of the garden of Eden should not be left within the mortal realm. They left off a few points about how powerful it was and it was also held in the hands of a distrustful and very naughty demon in the realm of mortals but they had enough problems of their own after I handed it over mostly concerning who would actually hold it on their journey back to wherever it was they came from. Besides, the bloody thing itched like Hell when I held it."

  "It’s gone?" asked Adym with a wide expression making him look like a constipated goldfish.

  "It is, but we are not, so it served its purpose. Your Master has a small piece left after all which I hope brings him some warmth on the cold lonely nights he has in his library."

  Adym gulped, I wonder if he was thinking a misshaped assortment of individuals would be paying him and his employer a visit if this information was ever made public by anyone who may feel slighted if any favour doesn't get returned very soon and at great cost.

  "So what happens now?" I asked as Adym was digesting this last nugget of information.

  "A lot and too much. There must be other places feeding impressionable and more importantly occultly significant youths into the mill to grind up and extract anything useful, there were too many girls in the Medway present and past to have come from this one village. Others within my organisation will be sent scurrying across their parishes looking for any information they can under pain of very large amounts of pain and sooner or later one of them will find something that will lead to others looking harder so they can impress our Superiors and behind closed doors away from human interactions things will be sorted. It’s not perfect but it will be an end of sorts."

  "And Mary?"

  "No body has been found but Ginny, I mean Samantha wasn't very forward with that information, but I very much doubt she was anything bigger than a very little fish in an infinity small pond if you pardon my pun. I bet a dirty soul against a hundred clean ones that there are others out there who pump fresh meat through the system either for personal gain or have been deluded with promises of power or insights and they will be caught in the fullness of the investigation. But our work here is done and although this is our end I can tell you that the ripples of what has happened here have spread to all sides and the waves have sunk a lot of the higher commanders in both armies Light and not so light; Others have a lot to answer for. Even a few of my old managers are feeling that their positions are not as grounded into granite as they once thought."

  "And that’s that, we just go home and back to our daily lives? What about April and the people here. What happened to them to make them so angry and what about Melody and Samantha" I needed answers, things should not end like this they should all be wrapped up neatly at the end of every episode or else TV has taught me nothing.

  "What about them, shit happens. The world turns, seasons change and water is passed." Xanthic seemed to think for a while after saying this as I drank more of my beer then he added. "I'm going back to London in the morning but I want you to stay on and have a few more days to recover, you've had a tough time and the tee shirt to prove it so rest up and relax without any worries or stress from me or the job."

  I knew there was something else coming, he's not normally this considerate.

  "Besides." he said, I bloody knew there would be a besides or a but or an and.

  "Besides Melody will need showing around the house, it is a bit of a maze to newcomers and she said she may be inclined to teach you a thing or two about witchcraft or whatever you humans do to tap into the energies this world works with. I think she wants to invite some of the local girls up too for some sort of youth club or Brownies night, so I want you there to make sure the silverware doesn't go walkies and to make the tea."

  I was more excited about this than I could possibly say, not that I would you understand, not to Xanthic, so I made a bit of a fuss over all the work I'd have to do in my well deserved holiday and that I would have to struggle through with his mad ideas so they don't end up going totally wrong. He added there were a few very useful books in the library for me to study from and a new one he bought only recently on musical theory and instrumental encyclopaedia knowledge.

  "If you're going to insist you hear music every five minutes you at least had better know what it is you are talking about, do you know how annoying it is to hear you describe brass instruments mixed with stings where there are hundreds of brass and metallic wind instruments around since the dawn of humans putting hollow tubes to their lips and blowing." he said. I thanked him for this and promised I would read each and every last word.

  From that point on we changed our approach to things, mostly because Xanthic refused to say another word on the matter so after talking about shopping we would need to get in for our London home when we return we talked about the stuff everyone else talks about through all of their lives which was mostly nothing with a mixture of whatever was in front of our eyes at the time and then the last orders bell was rung and Xanthic to the amusement and cheering of all the happy young adults in the bar said he would pay for a round of what everyone was drinking and went to that bar to pay. I politely refused saying I needed to visit the little girl’s room to powder my nose and would meet him outside before slipping away from the bar with many a slap on my back and thankfully, as comb-over uncle was not here, a slap free bum.

  I walked through into the warm night air and quickly removed myself from the glow of the lights shining down from the front of the pub and the Jolly Reaper sign into the shadows from which Mary had stepped scaring the living wits from me on my first night here with the sapling of an idea of extending the good humour onto my drinking companions. I stepped backwards into the deep shadows beside the door where an alcove in the construction stood and braced myself for my leap towards Xanthic as he stepped outside the pub to look for me. Not moving my eyes from the entrance to the bar I rounded my shoulders and tried my very best not to laugh with anticipation.

  "Its very dark here isn't it?" said Xanthic softly into my ear and I screamed a blue curse as my skeleton leapt from my body and I left the alcove in mid air.

  "Jesus." I swore at him as he came into the light laughing with that smug grin on his face. "Why and more importantly how in Whoever's name did you do that?" But I never did get an answer only a drive back to Fernum where I was looking forward to another wonderful night I slept in that wonderful bed.

  Xanthic escorted me up the wide staircase that led to our separate rooms. He wailed me to my door as just after I crossed the threshold and was about to close the door behind me he stopped it in its swing and for a moment I thought he was looking for a moment of intimacy but instead he asked.

  "After I left you in the Medway, I was gone for a few moments leaving you in there with Adym and the vampire. I was wondering if anything else had happened that you haven't already told me or something that may have slipped your mind in the heat of the moments after we escaped. Vampires can be very influential beings and adapt at curving truths or blatant liars that should never be trusted to the last breath, theirs or yours but preferably theirs. He didn't say anything to you did he? Anything regarding himself of anything I need to know?"

  "No." I answered. "Nothing you need to know, just stuff about how important he was and how little everyone else was. Just stuff any ‘I Am’ man does down the pub after a few pints. Good night." with these last two words I kissed him on his cheek and was delighted to see a tiny reddening to it, it was gone in less than a second but I knew it had been there all the same.

  "Good night Valentine, pleasant dreams."

  And they were, for the most part, filled with lovers young and old in fields and barns or misshapen cardigans but each with another which to hold onto through the night. Then a figure sat upon stairs blocking all the light from their summit so I could only see the silhouette of their broadness who asked a direct question to me in a jarring voice that
causes my bones to ache and feet to want to run but that also sounded of a perfect gentleman's' upbringing.

  "Do you think you are the first? The first he has asked to be his companion and aide? What do you think happened to the others?"

  But I enjoyed the warmth from the others so shrugged this off as bad beer and curled up with my knees up to my chest wrapped in the thick heavy sheets and slept with all the promises of a brighter tomorrow.

  About the author

  Chris (topher) Norgate lives in Hampshire with his wife, children and a houseful of small furry things that keep them all up at night. He is 38 and yet to find a real world job, instead fills his time riding around in a fast vehicle with blue lights fitted.

  Why write a book, especially such a long one? After many years using a fear of English on paper as an excuse he thought he would try and conquer those damn squiggles of ink and beat them into submission - and hopefully learn how to spell the two to three hundred common words that always came out wrong between brain and pen nib. So with a large hammer, nails and a large whip he sat down to fix those ink stains onto permanency and woe betide any of them that try to slink off the page and escape.