by Ciara Knight
“Oh, no. You’re definitely a musician.”
I shook my head. “I can’t be a musician. I can’t read music. I tried once, but my brain won’t comprehend and remember the way it looks on paper. I also can’t create my own songs.”
“Scarlet?”
“Yes?”
“You have no idea how special you are, do you?”
Heat flooded my cheeks. He glanced over at me with a reassuring grin. I tried to think of what to say to that, but there were no words. “No one’s called me special since my mother died.”
“Get used to hearing it, because you are. I can’t believe you waltzed into my life like this. I wasn’t looking for anyone. Heck, I didn’t want to feel anything for anyone, but you’re so different…unique, and I can’t wait to know you better. Can I ask you something else?”
This was beginning to feel like a game of twenty questions, but I shrugged. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to think about being special anymore. It was a foreign concept.
“Before I ask, I want you to know that I just want to talk to you, find out everything about you, but I don’t want to scare you away.”
I chuckled. “I can’t exactly run away, can I? You’ve got me in a speeding vehicle with the doors locked.”
He laughed, the deep kind that filled the car, and I felt his fingers squeeze my hand again. “I never want to make you feel uncomfortable. If we’re going to try to help each other, then we’ll have to be honest and open. I have a feeling you’re not used to communicating with people. Have you ever been in a relationship where you talked about how you felt or what made you happy or uncomfortable?”
I shrugged and realized I hadn’t, not since my mom died. “I guess not. I usually tolerate things until I can’t take it anymore and leave.”
He shook his head, causing some of his thick brown hair to fall over his cheekbones, accentuating his strong, clean-shaven jawline. “That’s what I don’t want. We need to be in this together. Make a promise that we’ll give it our all.” He flicked on the blinker and changed lanes again. “In the last year, if I felt anything I shut it out. I couldn’t allow myself to get close to anyone. I promise I won’t do that with you if you promise not to shut me out. Deal?”
I thought for a moment, digging deep. Was I capable of opening up to someone? I’d known Ton a heck of a lot longer, yet I’d never really opened up to him. “What if I can’t feel emotions? I’ve never connected with anyone before. Not in that way.”
“Then it’ll be a new adventure. Besides, I’m a big boy. If you don’t feel the same way, then you can tell me.”
I toyed with the hem of the black T-shirt he’d given me to wear. “I felt something this morning. When I saw you lying by the door downstairs. A kind of twinge in my chest, sort of a heavy yet sweet rumbling inside.” I rolled my eyes. “This sounds stupid.”
“No.” Drake squeezed my hand and this time kept his fingers tight for several moments. “It sounds perfect.”
I squeezed back, and I was rewarded with one of his ear-to-ear, teeth-baring smiles. The instant flicker I felt deep inside in response told me I’d done something right. A hint of pride filled me. Maybe I could learn how to be with someone, learn what made them happy. Maybe someday I’d feel like I was part of a real couple. I wanted to try to have what my mother only spoke of before she died.
“I want to try.” My voice sounded small even to me.
“Then we will.” He merged several lanes to the right. “So, I have a few CDs we should listen to on the way. Also, we need to strategize a date and time for the Battle of the Bands event. I’ve already had an agreement from two record companies. One’s a pop-punk label and the other death metal. I think that’ll draw in various bands, considering they both have serious ties in the industry. I’d like to host the event in less than six weeks.”
“That’s when the balloon payment is due, right?”Drake released my hand and gripped the steering wheel as he merged onto another interstate, heading west. “Yeah, that’s when my loan extension ends, and I’m afraid without something big, even selling this car won’t save Bands.”
“Then we’ll have the event the last Saturday prior to the six-week deadline.”
He popped the first CD into the player and I watched the buildings shrink from office buildings to homes until the terrain changed to trees and hills. By the second CD, Drake verged off the main street onto a winding two-lane road.
He put in the third CD, and I was disappointed yet again. “I’m sorry.” I shook my head. “These bands are stale and won’t draw a crowd. Where did you get these?”
“They’re ones the record producers sent. All of them almost signed, but didn’t quite make the cut.”
“That’s the problem. They didn’t make the cut for a reason.”
He turned down a long road. The crunching sound of gravel under the tires irritated me enough that my jaw popped from the pressure of my teeth clamping together.
“Where do we get bands then? Ones that will ignite enough interest that I can make some money and save Bands?”
“I don’t know, but you don’t do it like this.”
A moment after the words left my lips, he pulled into a parking place and shoved the gear into park, resting his head against his hands on the top of the steering wheel.
A deep hollowness gripped my gut. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to do this.”
He lifted his head and quirked one eyebrow. “Do what?”
“This conversation thing. I always say the wrong thing. I don’t understand social cues and what people need. I’m dead inside.” I grabbed the door handle to escape, but his hand grabbed my waistband, keeping me in place.
“Practice date, remember? I get the door for you.”
Sighing, I leaned back in my seat.
“You’re doing fine. I’m just frustrated. Not at you. At failing my brother, at being such a dick for so long, and for not knowing how to fix things.” He took a long breath and exhaled. “Remember, you have to keep me in check. I’m learning, too, but there are no grades here. No report cards or GPA.”
“That’s good. I flunked out of high school, and you’re Ivy League.” I shook my head and glanced out the window at several one-story buildings edged by single rows of the same kind of bush. “What am I doing here, Drake? Your grandmother is going to die instantly when she sees my purple hair and hears my ignorance.”
“You’re here as my colleague, helping me with the club. Besides, you’re wicked smart. You don’t need a diploma to prove that. Relax.”
Relax? “She’s going to assume there is something between us, and I’m all wrong for you. You should be with…with—”
“Margo? No thanks. I’ve been with that kind of woman, and they always leave me feeling empty. Now, stop trying to sabotage this.”
“I’m not—”
“Aren’t you?”
“I don’t belong here.” I squeaked like a field mouse.
Drake pinched my side.
“Ow! What’s that for?”
“Trying to keep you focused. If I can’t do it with words I’m going to start pinching.”
“You’d pinch a girl with sensory problems? That’s not being gentlemanly.”
“Nope, and I don’t care. Now, are you going to meet my grandmother, or am I going to pinch you again?”
I held up my hands in surrender. “Fine. Geesh.”
He jumped out of the car and raced to open my door as if I’d escape if he wasn’t fast enough. Before I had a chance to stand up on my own, he took my hand and lifted me, pulling me into him. After a second, he wrapped his arms around me. “I wanted to do this the entire drive up here. You ready for another kiss?”
I didn’t answer. Instead, my mouth closed over his, and he squished me between him and the car. The scent of fall leaves, the sound of them crunching beneath tires in the parking lot, everything disappeared, replaced by the pressure of his body against mine, pinning me to the car. He was so close, our hearts compet
ed for rhythm until it sounded like one long beat in my head.
He broke the kiss and panted. After a moment, he rolled off me to lean against the car and scrubbed his face.
I spotted an elderly man on a scooter, watching us from the front porch of the main building, not to mention a woman fanning herself from one of the home-like structures a little way from the parking lot. “Um, should we be going before one of them calls the police on us?”
“Ah, not yet.”
“Why?” I turned to face him.
He paced with his hands on his hips around the back of the car. “Because you’re so damn hot you get me excited just from kissing you. I can’t go in there in this condition.” He glanced at his groin.
“If you did, I won’t be such a shock, then.”
Drake swiveled to face me. “Ah, you do have a sense of humor.”
Was I joking? I walked over to him and pinched his side.
Drake jumped from me. “Hey, what was that for?”
“Did it help? If not, I can do it again until you can behave.” I reached for him again.
“Ah, funny girl. Okay, let’s go.” He snagged my outstretched hand and led me to the front walk. Before we even reached the main entrance, I felt dozens of eyes on me.
When we got to the top step of the porch, my feet stopped moving. Everything inside me said to run. This was so outside my comfort zone. I preferred dark corners and secret rooms, not overly bright lights and conversation. Drake looked back at me with a smile, yet confusion still held me captive. One foot wanted to run all the way back to Atlanta, while the other wanted to keep that smile on his face. A speeding semi overloaded with sensory and fear jackknifed, threatening to send me into an armadillo ball in the corner.
Chapter Fifteen
Drake leaned against the wall of the building. “I won’t push you. If you don’t want to do this, you can wait in the lobby and I’ll drive you back to Atlanta after I visit my grandmother.”
I studied the double doors of the assisted-living facility as if it contained the answer I sought, but I found nothing. Part of me wanted to make Drake happy, to please him, but the majority of me just wanted to run from all of this, screaming.
“It’s your choice, but I know you’ll love her,” he whispered, his words caressing my mind with its magical soft dance that seduced me into compliance.
“That’s not what I’m afraid of.”
He gently touched my back and all my focus drove to his hand. The birds stopped singing overhead; the man glaring at me through the window to our side disappeared.
“I can’t with you touching me. If I’m going to meet her and not curse, or do something stupid, you can’t touch me.”
“Deal.”
“It’s not that I don’t like it—”
He lifted one finger to my lips but didn’t make contact. “No explanation needed. I’m not breakable. Remember, honesty is all I ask.”
I nodded and took in a long, cleansing breath then stood tall and entered through the door Drake opened for me.
Stand up straight. Look everyone in the eye. Don’t curse. Shake hands if offered.
I repeated the social rules over and over in my head, concentrating on what I should do and blocking out the irritating florescent light that flickered over the reception desk. The brightness was more like an inanimate object piercing my skull.
Stand up straight. Look everyone in the eye. Don’t curse. Shake hands if offered. I repeated the social rules again and closed my eyes.
“Hi, Drake. It’s good to see you. Your grandmother is waiting in the dining room for you.”
“Thanks, Sam.”
I opened my eyes to find Drake signaling me to follow him. Shuffling down the hallway, I tried to ignore the sour milk smell coming from one room and the human waste smell from another. Old people and I didn’t mix. Swallowing down the rising panic, I moved closer to Drake and took a whiff of his shampoo an earthy scent.
He cocked an eyebrow at me.
“I’ll explain later, but you better get used to weird if you’re going to hang out with me.”
We rounded a corner and I spotted a group of women giggling at a table, playing cards in hand.
“Linda Samson, you cheat!” A frail hand smacked her hand of cards on to the tabletop with more gusto than I thought possible.
“I don’t know why you’re upset, Martha darling. You know she’s a card shark and she’s gonna beat us all. It’s the same every time.”
“Not all the time. Winter of 2008, I beat her fair and square.”
The woman with her back to me shook her head and I realized she was probably the one named Linda. “Fair and square? Ha, only if you count slipping an ace into your Depends fair.”
“Nana, are you not playing nice with others again?” Drake leaned down and kissed an orange-haired lady.
I remained in the doorway, already being bombarded with five different overwhelming floral perfumes and a gallon of Aquanet hairspray.
“Drake!” She grabbed her cane and lifted from the chair, revealing black leather pants over a leopard-print body suit.
I blinked, trying to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating.
“Hi, Drake.” A woman with bright silver hair waved her cards at her face. The two other women giggled like little girls.
“Down, ladies. He’s my grandson. Hands off.” She slid her arm around his back. “Let’s get you out of here. There’s nothing worse than horny old bats desperate for a good—”
“Behave,” Drake scolded. His eyes shot to me as if he was concerned she’d offend me. No one had ever been concerned about offending me. It was always the opposite.
Linda smiled, her peach-tinted lips spreading wide. “Who’ve we got here?”
I stepped forward and offered my hand. “Hi, I’m Scarlet. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Well, ain’t she formal?”
Drake’s brow crinkled and he chuckled. “Not often.”
I shot him a sideways glance but recovered quickly.
Drake held out a hand. “Let’s go to your apartment so we can spend some time away from staring eyes, if you don’t mind.”
Linda waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t mind them. They can’t catch you.”
“Don’t be so sure. I just had my scooter tweaked,” the silver-haired lady screeched.
Linda placed her hand in the crook of Drake’s arm, and he escorted her out the back door, down a winding path, to another building. For a woman with a cane, she moved quickly. I trailed several steps behind them.
Squirrels skittered across the path, and birds chirped up in the trees, hidden by some golden-red leaves still clinging to the branches. Drake and Linda whispered to each other along the way, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. He glanced back every so often with a smile on his face and a nod.
We reached her apartment and he opened the door into a comfortable living area. “Have a seat, darlin’.”
I followed the direction of her hand to a loveseat next to a recliner that Drake assisted her into. I lowered to the edge of the seat, my hands on my knees. It was the way ladies were supposed to sit, right?
Purging all other scents and the knocking of something in the ventilation system, I concentrated on remaining upright and attentive. My eyes still wanted to drop to the floor, but when she spoke, I forced them to her face.
“So, tell me why your hair’s purple.”
“Nana,” Drake scolded.
I shrugged, my eyes lowering to the floor without my consent.
“Well, I wanted to say I like it, but my grandson here is awful defensive today,” she huffed in his direction. “I wore my hair like that back in the 80s.”
I smiled and glanced back up at her. “Really?”
Drake chuckled and sat on the loveseat to my left. Part of me wanted to take his hand, but I didn’t want to lose myself in his touch. “Yeah, she was the coolest Nana in town.”
Linda brushed a nonexistent stray hair fro
m her forehead. Not one hair could possibly move out of place even if it wanted to, but I didn’t say anything. It didn’t seem right. “I think it looks much better on you, though. Are your eyes usually that violet looking, or is it from the hair color?”
“My eyes are different. My mother said my father had the same kind of eyes, but I think the hair accentuates them.”
“I see. Where do your mother and father live?” she asked.
“My father left when I was two.” I shrugged again, but this time I managed to keep my eyes at least to her peach lips before recovering. “My mother died when I was nine.”
“I’m so sorry, hon. How did she die?”
I took a long breath, my mind slipping into the past. “Heart attack. She had some sort of birth defect they didn’t know about.”
“Oh my, and you were nine? I hope you didn’t witness her passing.”
“Not really. I woke up and found her.”
Drake gasped. “You were in the house alone and found her in her room?”
“Sort of. I was in bed with her. My mother had been working with me on what she called cuddle therapy.”
Linda gripped her cane and leaned forward. “What’s cuddle therapy?”
Damn, I’d said too much. I swallowed, my eyes scanning for the escape route in the room then darting back to Drake.
“She has some challenges with physical touch,” Drake offered.
I wanted to mouth thank you, but I was too busy trying to regain control as my mind centered on that thumping noise in the vent overhead.
“I see. Did they find your father? I hope you had other family to live with and that they were able to raise you.”
“No, they never found my father. I did have family, but they never showed up to get me, so I was raised in foster care.”
Drake reached for my hand, but then returned his to his knee. Silence filled the room.
“It’s no big deal. I managed.” I scanned the room for something else to talk about. “I like this place.” Lame. Dang it, this was even harder than I’d thought.