My eyelids flutter open slowly, and the overhead light leaves me seeing spots momentarily. I turn onto my side and spy my laptop case sitting on the desk in the corner.
The wood feels cold on my bare feet. I grab a pair of socks from the pile that is now my wardrobe in the corner as I walk toward the desk and retrieve my laptop.
After crawling around on my hands and knees for ten minutes, I find an outlet behind the nightstand next to the bed and plug in my link to the rest of the world. I prop pillows up behind my back and lounge on my bed with my computer in my lap. I desperately need a friendly voice, or in my case a friendly online chat. I cross my fingers, hoping Tonya is online.
After my welcome screen pops up and my chat box signs on, I’m instantly relieved to find Tonya is online. I could squeal with delight, but I check myself before anyone hears me. I clap my hands silently as my pulse picks up excitedly. When it feels like you are surrounded by people who don’t want you there, there is nothing more comforting than a sister/friend to push all of your fears and doubts to the side and just laugh with you. And no one does that as well as Tonya.
I click on her name and wait patiently for her to accept my chat request. Her reply pops up almost instantly.
ChemistryChik: I cannot believe you are online…I miss you so much girl! How is Logan? How is Scotland? Tell me…Tell me…Tell me! Sorry about that but I’m living vicariously through my best friend and currently have no life to speak of *smiley face*.
Sully: I miss you too! The flight was hell and I’m still a little crabby but I have finally arrived and settled in…somewhat. Logan is…well, I’m a little pissed at him right now so I’ll move on to something else.
Chemistry Chick: Oh no you don’t! What is going on with Mister Perfect? Spill it girl!
Sully: All right. He brought me to the place where he works. It’s a huge historical mansion with over 100 rooms. So needless to say we are staying here as well. That was fine with me. I mean, who wouldn’t want to stay in a five-star mansion with a full staff and excellent chef? Well, that was before I realized that his coworker and ex-bitch lives and works here as well.
ChemistryChick: OMG…WTF? How could he put you in a situation like that? I’m so sorry, Sully! Do you need me for anything? I can get a ticket and be there in a couple of days. Do you need me to purchase a return flight for you? Whatever you need I’m here for you. P.P.S. I can also remove his balls with a spoon if that will make you happy?
I feel a warm wetness slide down my cheek, and it takes me by surprise. I wipe it off on the back of my hand and swallow the building lump of sand in my throat. Her heartfelt concern is such a warm comfort that I grin slightly and respond.
Sully: No. Stay there. I’m staying here. I’ll get through this and I refuse to allow that hussy to get in my way. Logan is mine now and I’ll not cower to a few snide comments made out of jealousy. I’m ignoring him right now but I’ll sit down with him later and we’ll work it out. I just needed to speak to you. It’s so good to hear from you even though it’s not been that long since I saw you. I’m a little scared about this whole ordeal and my insecurities are eating away at me right now. She’s beautiful Tonya. Really beautiful, in an Angelina Jolie Tomb Raider kind of way. I know it’s silly. I mean, what did I expect, a toad for an ex?! But it’s still a little unnerving seeing her and being forced to live under the same roof.
Chemistry Chick: Does she still want Logan? Does he still love her?
Sully: I don’t think so. He looked at her like he couldn’t stand to be in the same room with her. But she’s definitely harboring serious sexual need for him. And before you get started…I know I should give him a chance to explain…But I’m still pissed and I just want some alone time right now.
ChemistryChick: You have every right to be pissed and don’t let them make you feel otherwise. He should have said something. COWARD! Tell him I said so too!
Sully: I hear ya! I’m going to bed now. Luv ya girl!
ChemistryChick: Luv u 2! Call me when you get your new cell.
I power down my laptop and place it on the table next to my bed. I need to get out of here for a little bit. I walk toward the door and peek out…left, clear….right, clear. I step into the hall and close my door silently behind me. I tiptoe as quietly as I can down the hall and toward the stairs so I can make my way outside for some fresh air.
As I walk down the steps, I hear voices from downstairs. It sounds like Duncan and Logan are arguing, but their voices are so muffled I can’t make out what they’re saying. As I reach the first floor, I look around, trying to figure out where the voices are coming from. I walk to the first room to find a lavish sitting area. It reminds me of the historic romance novels I read when the guy comes to the lady’s house to seek permission to court her, and they all share tea in the sitting room. Well, this one has that feel to it. There is a glass table with a bottle of brown liquor on it and a small box of cigars. The whiff of tobacco hits me like a punch to the face as I open it to see the elegant imported cigars.
Yelling voices drag my attention to an adjoining room. I walk to the door and open it to find a massive billiards room. The pool table stands out like a proud centerpiece with an air hockey table to its right side. This must be where the boys come to chill out. On the back wall is a huge flat-screen TV with gaming chairs in front of it. It looks like a shrine to the Xbox and PS3 on the wall-to-wall entertainment center. This is definitely the men’s den. I walk to the door and make my way down to the next doorway.
The voices get louder as I approach. But just as I’m about to close the distance, a warm hand falls on my shoulder. Startled, I jump back and shriek.
“Holy hell, you scared the shit out of me.” My face must be quite humorous because Josie busts out laughing.
“You should see your face.” She laughs, holding her stomach. I can’t help but smile back and chuckle a little at my lack of courage while prowling around her house and lurking in the corners like some kind of burglar. She straightens and gestures for me to follow her as her laughter dies down to a slight giggle.
“I’ve something to show you. Just follow me.” The voices I heard are eerily quiet now. They must’ve heard Josie and I and put a lid on it.
As we step outside, she makes her way to the left of the grounds, and I follow like a lost puppy. I feel lost, so it’s only natural to follow someone who is willing to lead, right? Like I said…I’m behaving like a coward.
The cobblestone sidewalk feels bumpy underneath my tennis shoes. I sprang for light and comfortable this morning when I was getting dressed. I have on a pair of gray skinny jeans, a “Music Rocks” t-shirt, and a pair of black Converse tennis shoes. Josie, on the other hand, looks like she just stepped off the runway with her long, wavy blond hair, gold hoop earrings, and bangle bracelets. She is fashionably sexy with her navy blue capri shorts, brown gladiator sandals, and yellow blouse that billows out at the bottom. She looks elegant yet casual.
My head is swiveling like a bobblehead as we cross over onto a path that is lined with circular walking stones. My gaze strays to my feet for a moment as I watch myself stepping from one stone to the next. Then I raise my eyes to look around again and spot a small pond off in the distance with what looks like a garden next to it. Josie veers right, and I tag along behind her. As we round a set of carved bushes, I see our destination. A huge barn is situated in the middle of a group of trees. It looks as if the forest has snuggled it into her bosom. Josie looks over her shoulder and smiles at me.
The barn is half rock, half wood. The base is row after row of neatly cemented rocks that join into large rows of timber that form line after line of an impenetrable wall high into the air to meet the roof. The barn appears to be recently renovated, with modern touches here and there, but it’s the inside that makes me stare in awe. I know I must look like a kid at Disneyland as I stand there spinning in a slow circle and taking it all in. The floor is made of stone and so damn clean I could probably eat off of it. To the le
ft is a tack room with various types of saddles, bridles, halters, and cubbies full of grooming equipment. Directly to the right is a wash stall with long hoses that pull from the wall for bathing the horses. One hose has a brush mounted on the end that reminds me of the ones you see at car washes back home.
There are at least fifty stalls that run down the left and right side with a wide walkway between them. As we approach them, heads pop out and nicker with excitement. I laugh at the sight, and Josie turns to grin at me.
“I come here every day. Sometimes three or four times a day.” She approaches a gray horse that is nodding its head up and down, signaling for her to come on over. She brushes its forehead and kisses its muzzle. “This is Thor. He’s mine. And that one over there,” she says, pointing to the black horse staring right at me, “belongs to Miles. His name is Loki. It’s peaceful here. This is the best place to find yourself.” She looks up at me with a sad smile. “I understand what you’re going through. Miles and I didn’t choose this life. We were pulled from our family and friends just as you were. I think that’s why he’s so protective of me.”
I look over at her horse and begin stroking his hard, muscled neck. His coat is soft and sleek to the touch as I stroke my hand back and forth over him.
“It must be nice to have an older brother looking out for you.” I look over at her to find her staring at me with curiosity. “Why do you think he’s older? We’re twins, you know. Strangely enough I’m three minutes older.” She says this with a smug smile. I can see that this has been a source of contention between them for many years.
“I’ll bet he loves it every time you remind him of that.” That gets a laugh out of her, and I can’t help but laugh too.
I wish I had a brother or sister who loved me as much they obviously love each other. It seems like twins have an unfair advantage compared to the rest of the world. No matter what they will always have someone who knows them better than anyone else, loves them more than anyone else, and is bonded with them in a way no one else ever will. I’m jealous, and it shows because she lightly pushes my shoulder and laughs at my stricken expression.
“Trust me, Sully; it’s not as glamorous as everyone thinks. Maybe if my twin were a female it wouldn’t be so difficult to get along. But my brother is all male, and that comes with some very nasty details that I wish I could scrub from my brain.” We walk down to the next stall, and I suck in a breath at the sight that meets me.
A golden horse stands in the middle of the stall, lazily dozing. His coat is so shiny it looks metallic. A long, wavy mane and tail that appear almost white reflect the same golden metallic sheen. Where the other horses are all thick and muscular, this horse is nothing but long, clean lines of sleek perfection. Josie steps up next to me and sighs with pleasure.
“He’s an Akhal-Teke. They’re known for their golden-toned coats, but Zander is—well, he’s like nothing I’ve ever seen. Logan was out riding one day on the countryside, and a tourist took his picture and posted it on the Internet. It went viral within days. Zander was called the most beautiful horse in the world, and Logan…” She pauses for a minute and chuckles. “They said he looked like a Norse god on his golden war horse. The guys ribbed him over it, and to say he hated it would be putting a bit of a damper on it.” I smile at the thought of Logan catching flak over his staggering good looks.
We pass the evening talking about anything and everything. Josie is really easy to let your guard down with. Our quick friendship has helped relax me, and I feel more comfortable with my decision to come here. After grooming the horses and Josie explaining the different saddles and various tacks to me, we make our way back for a quick bite to eat.
It’s been a very long day, and I’m so tired my eyes are starting to cross. Logan left with a couple of the guys while Josie and I were making sandwiches in the kitchen. Kayla has been MIA since our run-in earlier in the day. While I’m a little hurt that Logan didn’t try to talk to me before he left, I think he was just trying to give me some space. My brain hurts from too much thinking, and I’m ready to shut it down. I look toward the bathroom and can’t resist the urge to soothe my tired body under the massive showerhead. Before I know it, I’m halfway there, and my clothes are being discarded, leaving a trail in my wake.
After my awesome shower, I step into my fleece pajama bottoms and black tank top, climb under the silk sheets, and snag my e-reader from my laptop case. A good historical romance is definitely in order. Considering I’m in Scotland, a Highlander novel would be best. I pull up one of my favorite authors and lose myself into a world of thick-muscled, bare-chested, kilt-wearing sex gods. Aah…it’s good to be a woman sometimes.
Chapter
Eight
I awake to the sun shining through the thick draperies and casting candescent light over my face. It feels like tiny fingers of warmth scratching at my sleep-swollen eyes, beckoning them to accept the new day and whatever it brings. The sad thing is I don’t feel like greeting a new day with a fake smile. Logan didn’t come to my bed last night, and after lying in bed awake for what seemed like hours, trying to read and vanquish evil thoughts, I finally succumbed to exhaustion and passed out in a restless sprawl over my comforter. Somehow throughout the night I found my way under the covers and even managed to pull off my fleece pajama bottoms so that I awoke to find myself in nothing but a tight tank top and boy shorts underwear.
I grimace and groan as I drag my legs from under the covers and sit up. The wood floor is cold, and I inhale sharply as I tread to the bathroom for my morning ablutions.
I return to my room and quickly pull on some yoga shorts, a sports bra, and a tank top I grabbed from my bag and decide to find the gym in this behemoth mansion. I need to relieve some stress, and exercise fits the bill. I grab my iPod from my purse and strap the holster to my left bicep. I walk back into the bathroom and quickly pull my hair into a ponytail and pull a black sports headband over my head to keep the flyaways out of my face.
I make my way down to the main floor, where Josie has shown me the gym and other main areas of congregation and relaxation. As I step into the gym and spy myself in the mirrored walls, I exhale a breath of relief that I’m the only one here, and hopefully I will remain alone throughout my workout. I walk over to the cardio area, take a seat on a bicycle, and then scan through my playlist for something inspiring…Volbeat. Yes, that’s a good start.
As the song “Still Counting” starts playing, I begin pedaling. I sing the lyrics to myself and quickly find my rhythm. When I up the pace to challenging and begin the simulated incline, my muscles start to burn. Damn, that feels good. I am punishing my body for allowing Logan and his little bitch to upset me. It’s cathartic! Before long my head is bopping to the drumbeat, and I am in my zone.
After an hour or so of one of the most intense workouts of my life, the treadmill flashes END. I walk to the corner of the room and stretch my burning muscles and chug some water. I pour some over my head, careful not to get my earbuds wet, and relish the splash of ice-cold water against my hot skin.
When my eyes open, Logan is standing in front of me. His eyes are burning with desire, and his jaw twitches slightly as he takes me in from head to toe. I can feel my nipples hardening under his intense gaze. With nothing but a sports bra and a thin tank top between my breasts and him, my body is betraying my sudden lust with slutty delight. I narrow my eyes at him and pull the earbuds from my ears for the face-off.
“What do you want?” My voice comes out harsher than I intended, but I don’t feel remorseful. He flinches.
I want him to know the pain and discomfort he has caused me. He has dragged me halfway across the world and left me oblivious to what awaited me. Some protector he is turning out to be. Fuck him! And fuck his little bitch too! I don’t deserve this shit, and I’m not about to lie down and take it without a fight.
His face crumples at my harsh tone, and he runs both hands through his hair. He reaches to grab the water bottle from my hand, but I pull bac
k. I don’t want him to touch me right now. I’m pissed, and I’m not about to forget why.
Logan steps back, giving me some space, and I walk over to the towel rack and blot the water and sweat from my chest, neck, and face. When I look at him again, he looks distraught and at a loss for what to say. He knows he fucked up. Now it’s a matter of what he’ll do to fix this mess between us. Our relationship is new and in the fragile stage where the unknown could destroy us. But the unknown isn’t what has caused this situation; it’s the hidden truths that he failed to inform me of before bringing me here. I can’t believe someone so intelligent could have been so damn stupid.
He shrugs at something and approaches me reluctantly. “Listen, I know I’ve made a real mess of things by not mentioning Kayla, but I honestly didn’t know she was going to be here.” He exhales sharply and finally looks me in the eye. “I care about you, Sulwen, and it pains me to no end that I’ve hurt you. However unintentional my actions, they are responsible for the pain I see in your eyes, and it’s killing me.” That same pain is reflected in his emerald eyes. He runs his hand through his hair again and reaches for me. I don’t step back this time, and he releases a relieved breath as his hands wrap around my shoulders and pull me into his warm chest.
“I’m sorry. So sorry. Last night was one of the worst nights of my life.” He pulls back and looks down to my tension-filled face and rains kisses on my forehead, the corners of my eyes, and my nose, and then gently pecks my moist lips. I feel the tension bleed from my body as if an artery has been pierced. I am deflating. All of the energy from my workout is leaving my body, and the bleak pain and hurt from last night is returning.
I want to forgive him. But what will I find he is hiding next?
“Logan. This is all new to me, and I can honestly say last night was like a knife through the heart.” I look down at my tennis shoes. I can’t look him in the eye and say what I need to say. “I love you, Logan. So much it hurts. I’m scared I’m going to lose you before I’ve ever really had you. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…I will never let that conniving bitch have you back. You’re mine!” I raise my chin and look into his beaming eyes. His lips are twitching, and I see amusement in the emerald depths of his gaze. “This isn’t funny, Logan!” I want to be angry, but I feel my lips twitching too. And then a grin spreads across my face, and he bursts into laughter. His lips are all over my face as he spreads little kisses over me like tiny flames sparking against my sensitive flesh.
Kairos Page 14