Broken Sky

by Saurav Dutt

  Gina looked away from the bottle of vodka, restraining herself from walking over to the other side of the room and gulping all of it down. She looked towards Andie, realising the tears were wiped away, a calmness having returned to her face.

  “Yeah that’s right” Andie shook her head “I had to stop for a minute, wonder what the hell that meant, and then I remembered…it felt like a knife in the heart..what you used to tell me, I never knew what it meant until now..”

  “My Momma was right all those years ago” came the reply “I’m sorry he won’t be coming back..”

  “The father of my child” Andie quietly wept “he was so adamant, he would have given his right hand to keep our family together, and now he cursed us all to hell… won’t even come to see his only son…and then after he said that stupid phrase, it hit me…it was you..”

  “What?” Gina frowned as Andie swatted the photographs to the floor.

  “You contaminate everything you touch” Andie snarled “you’re poison you know that..nothing is so sacred you can’t destroy..what did you tell him? What did you say to him?”

  “Andie..” Gina replied “..you’ve been drinking, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

  “I know one thing” Andie grimaced “you want to bury the living; whatever I have..you hate the idea that I made no attempt to find you, to care for you, to care for Poppa..and now you come to make amends, and you start by telling the father of my children to bury the memory of his child.”

  “You remember the day I left?” Gina smiled to herself, looking out of the window, listening to the graze of cold wind brushing against the panes and smiling as the flakes of light snow had become more prominent, scattering across the streets, gently resting atop the cars outside.

  “What did you say to him? What did you say to Sean?” Andie hissed, barely stifling her voice below a cry.

  “It was snowing that day too..” Gina nodded “I remember that alright…it was just like this, it was just as cold..I kissed you on the forehead while you were asleep; somehow I thought you were awake, ‘cause you turned slightly to one side. I thought you were ignoring me, sure of it actually. What a day that was, a snow storm, rain coming in with a vengeance..damaging winds..just like Momma said to me, the Nickel Sized Hail, and The Damaging Winds…how right she was.”

  “That idiot cop you got running behind you” Andie leered “what’s your plan with him? You gonna rob banks together, you gonna marry him? What’s your plan now, now that everything is all neat and the way you wanted it?”

  “I learnt one thing from all this..” Gina shook her head as she glanced at Andie “..love is hopeless, hopeless at best.”

  “You got that right Momma” Andie scowled as she threw the vodka back into her throat “I learnt from the best.”

  “I’m going back to sleep now darlin’” Gina sighed as she stared one last time at the snow outside and turned into the hallway “don’t stay up too late..and though you might not believe it when I say it…I love you.”

  “Right..” Andie shook her head “that works when you’re about 12…doesn’t quite have the same kick to it now, not coming from you.”

  She stepped into the hallway, cold and trembling, and made her way up the staircase. She paused, hearing her daughter’s quiet whimpers as she tried to stop herself from sobbing with her. She wanted to go down there, embrace her, and tell her how much she loved her and that she truly meant it. She knew she couldn’t.

  *

  Andie heard her bedroom door flung open. Her eyelids were heavy, but she could still see that it was John who had let himself in and was hovering beside her bed.

  “Get up..” he panted, scratching as his chin nervously as he paced up and down the room only pausing to glance anxiously at his watch.

  “What?” Andie yawned, rubbing her eyes as she gazed at the bedside alarm-it read 08:10-“what are you talking about?”

  “She’s gone” John huffed as he marched to the window and ran his fingers across the blinds as he stared out into the streets “she’s not in her room, she’s not in her bed, the bathroom, nothing...”

  Andie froze. She leapt off the bed and bolted past him, rushing down the corridor as she ran towards her son’s room, realising that the door was ajar. As she yanked it open she saw him lying in bed, his eyes open as he stared up at the ceiling, perfectly awake.

  “Where is she Peter?” Andie demanded as she breathed a sigh of relief.

  “She said not to tell anybody..” Peter murmured as the both of them stood by his bedside “she said she wanted to see the snow…”

  “When did she tell you this?” John cut in “did she say where she was going?”

  “It’s okay” Andie cut in, placing her hand on Peter’s forehead “you’re not in trouble, just tell us what happened.”

  “I don’t know, not long ago..” Petey answered “…she came to my room, she was upset, she was crying…and said that she didn’t want to hurt anybody..”

  “Where did she say she was going?” John shook his head as he motioned for Andie to lean in closer to him. “Get changed” he mumbled in her ear “she couldn’t have got far, and I think I know where she might be.”

  As John’s car began to snake its way through the early morning traffic downtown, he noticed that Andie was staring out of the window. The roads were laden with recently settled snow; a bitterly cold wind blew across the streets, sucking litter across the sidewalks. She sat there with one hand cupping her chin and the other placed against her temple. The droning sound of car horns blurting through the crisp morning air had already begun to set off another half dozen in unison and the dark grey clouds hanging above had begun to slowly spit rain alongside snow flecks, ricocheting off the door and windscreen of the car.

  “This is because of what I said last night..” Andie swallowed hard, shaking her head as she stared down into her lap “…I haven’t even come to grips with her coming back into my life, and already…already it’s like this…this is just crazy..”

  “It’s crazy..” John replied as his fist came down on the horn “..because you’ve found yourself caring when you didn’t want to.”

  “Where do you think she is?” Andie sighed as she sunk back into her seat “in the condition she’s in, she can’t be running around out there in the cold.”

  “She’s not running around anywhere” John replied “if I know her, she’ll be on the same street corner, outside the same hotel where she’d been hustling..the same place we had our conversations, where she sat..biding her time, trying to find the best way to get to you.”

  “This is surreal..” Andie shook her head as she scanned the pavements, only seeing throngs of early morning commuters darting across the crowds “when I was younger she would go off on these crazy benders and disappear for days on end..when she’d return I’d just run off somewhere, let her worry about me for a change..let her cry and panic and miss me…”

  “This traffic ain’t normal, it’s this freakin’ snow” John sighed, rolling the window down to peek his head out “I’m pretty sure that’s an ambulance up there, or police..”

  He sat back in his seat, paused for a moment then noticed Andie was staring right at him, thinking exactly what he was thinking. “I gotta go and see” she replied, reaching for the door before John turned the engine down. She opened the door and slipped ahead of him, snaking her way through the crowd of onlookers and stationary cars as she folded her arms trying her best to keep herself warm and all the while keeping her eyes fixed on the blue and red glitter of the police sirens ahead of her.

  She rushed closer; brushing past the shoulders of passers by as she saw an ambulance perched up on the kerb, its back doors flung open as paramedic staff lumbered out. John’s footsteps raced behind her and she felt his hand tug at her shoulder. “Over here” he beckoned as he guided her past the crowd and through a small entranceway to the side of the street, cutting past an alleyway and adjoining the main road. Her heart shuddered and she began t
o sweat as her pulse quickened with each moment. As she turned the corner she noticed an officer standing there, hands on hips, looking down forlornly at a figure hunched over on the street pavement, the knees buried deep into the snow. She recognised the hood of her own navy blue windbreaker pulled over the head of the body being placed into the last delicate throes of the recovery position as the paramedics rushed forward. She knew exactly who it was.

  “John…” the officer smiled as he looked up at the pair of them, cold air escaping from his mouth “..what are you doing here?”

  “I know her” he replied as he inched forward, only for a female paramedic to wave him off as she crouched down onto the pavement, brushing away the snow “what the hell happened?”

  “Lady was walking along..” the officer yawned “fell down onto her side, down on her knee, grabbed at her head and just keeled over-maybe a heart attack or a stroke or something; it’s touch and go but it’s looks like it’s gonna be alright-the snow pretty much helped to cushion her fall.”

  “I have to go with her” Andie panted as she pleaded with the paramedic “I’m her daughter-she’s recently suffered a major head injury, she’s on medication…please I have to go with her.”

  “Right now she needs space in the van, we can arrange for something at the hospital later” the woman objected “we have to get her out of here right away.”

  The paramedic nodded at two other colleagues as they straightened out the stretcher “Be careful with the head” she commanded as she helped place the body onto the gurney. Andie leant in and could see Gina’s face, her eyes staring upwards at the sky, her cheeks wet with the drizzle and her lips grey, the skin ashen as flakes of snow decorated its surface.

  “Come on, let’s get back to the car and follow them” John motioned as he tugged at Andie’s arm. She stood there, staring blankly at the fingers of her mother’s left hand, twitching awkwardly as the stretcher was carried into the ambulance carrier. The doors slammed shut and the wailing siren seared through the morning sky, dispersing the crowds as the vehicle tore away. She turned to follow John and felt faint, disheartened and unable to move.

  She turned back towards the pavement behind her and spotted an object; pushing past the chattering onlookers she yanked it up from the cold, wet surface of a concrete slab.

  Wiping away the snow she realised the wet crumpled photograph in her grasp had smudged away what was left of the original picture and material; but she still knew it was the same photograph from her drawing room.

  Despite the smeared picture and soggy surface, she could still make out the beaming smile of her mother and her own sullen expression. At that moment she felt no consolation, no fleeting glimpse of solace within herself, but only an incredible feeling of being terribly alone as she did that same snowy morning when her mother had first left. The memory was clearer than ever and as she followed John, she wished, hoped and prayed she would see her alive again.

  * * *

  The afternoon had been slower than that of a usual Sunday. Time seemed to halt in mid stride and Andie reflected on the weeks and months that had passed. She sat back in her sofa, cigarette positioned delicately between her fingers and smiled to herself. She looked to her left and glanced at her mother’s expression; it hadn’t changed over the past hour, the day or the weeks since her discharge from the hospital. Andie leant over and gently brushed a wisp of hair away from her forehead, and as she leant forward she could have sworn that she smiled back at her. The face was the same, only stonier, soured by the debilitation of the stroke.

  “Hey Andie..” John called out, emerging from the kitchen with a tray of cookies and warm milk “Ben called again, he said to call him back.”

  “It’s alright” Andie replied, placing the tray on the coffee table in front of her “I’m not taking his calls right now.”

  “Not an item anymore?” John smiled as he lit a cigarette “love comes and goes, that’s the trouble with it; the son of a bitch is fleeting, it won’t stay put.”

  “Yeah..” Andie frowned “any news from your Captain?”

  “Uh huh” John smiled “IA’s dropping the investigation on me; now that we’ve confirmed Gina’s identity, and what with the way she is now, they’re not gonna press it further.”

  “So you’re back to being a cop?” Andie replied as she helped bring the glass of milk up to her mother’s lips, watching attentively as she slowly sipped from the glass, each attempt prolonged and halting. Her eyelids did not flicker, her face not conceding a single emotion or recognition of taste or smell, pleasure or indifference “she’s not getting any better John…” Andie sighed, stroking her mother’s hair, letting her recline gently back in her seat, as she guided the back of her head carefully against the soft material.

  “It’s only been two months” John answered with a shrug of the shoulders “we’re lucky she’s here at all.”

  “You think she hears us?” Andie shook her head as she looked at Gina.

  “Oh yeah” John replied “sure she does, she don’t miss a thing this one..just gonna take a while.”

  As Andie broke a cookie into several pieces, bringing one up gently to her mother’s lips, the phone rang. She nodded towards it, watching John yank the receiver up. He listened carefully, expressionless; clearly it wasn’t Ben.

  “Who is it?” Andie asked, placing the cookie down on the plate as she watched the crumbs trickle down her mother’s chin and into her lap.

  John didn’t answer, only nodding slowly as he turned his back. “Thank you” he said, turning towards the both of them.

  “It was Warden Sheen” he said, clearing his throat as he stared out of the window.

  “What is it now?” Andie sighed.

  “It’s Dennis…uh..your father” John bit his lip “he passed away earlier this afternoon.”

  “The cancer?” Andie asked as she placed a hand on her forehead.

  “Heart attack..” John shook his head “seems his appeal for compassionate leave got turned down last week again, he got into a fight with a guard…the old bastard was swinging left and right and then just keeled over and had the attack..and that was it.”

  “A fighting son of a bitch to the very end…” Andie shook her head, her voice cracking slightly as she felt a sudden wave of gloom shudder through every bone, not knowing if she felt euphoric or despondent.

  At that moment she noticed a slight movement from the corner of Gina’s eye. She tilted her head sideways and saw her mother’s face. She focused on the crevice between the corner of her mouth and the curl of her bottom lip. There was a smile, ever so slight, but it was obvious. She saw a glimmer of recognition on her face, and noticed her eyes staring out of the window, somnambulant as they watched the raindrops falling outside. Andie stared up at John, and she knew that he could see it too.

  “She knows…” John nodded, noticing the smile disappear as quickly as it came.

  “She knows she’s safe now” Andie smiled as she leant forward to kiss her on the cheek “you’re right, she doesn’t miss a thing.”

  THE END

  About the Author

  Author Saurav Dutt first wrote articles on film and music for Total Film, Empire Online, Time Out and Independent Film Magazine before turning his eye towards nonfiction and fiction, specialising in the areas of dramatic fiction and contemporary psychological horror.

  Dutt first published a book about the Award winning actor and star of 'The Wrestler' entitled 'Stand Alone: The Films Of Mickey Rourke'. Released in the Fall of 2011 it remains his biggest commercial success to date winning plaudits from fans and critics alike for its scholarly approach to the actors work. The book 'Stand Alone' is an exhaustive critical analysis of the actor’s career and work which also includes interviews and comments from Rourke himself. In addition this book he has produced biographies of 'Jaws' and 'French Connection' actor Roy Scheider and 80's teen star of hit movies such as 'The Lost Boys' Corey Haim entitled 'License to Dream' which overtook the sales of h
is debut biography on Mickey Rourke.

  A spoken word album of his poetry and prose set to original music entitled 'The Dreaming' was released in September 2013 through cdbaby.com reflecting his interest in poetic works.

  Inspired by the British short movie 'The Pugilist's Son' starring boxer turned actor Gary Stretch (Alexander, Dead Man’s Shoes, Savages) Dutt put together a short story based on the movie entitled 'The Pugilist's Son' which released in October 2013 and was featured in Boxing Insider, MMA Uncaged and Martial Arts Illustrated Magazines.

  His début novel, after signing with Plexus Publishing 'An Orchid in the Snow' is released Fall 2013.

  A biography on Oscar nominated actor Val Kilmer is in the works to be released in early 2014, featuring analysis, reviews and commentary and much like his book on Mickey Rourke, the book is eagerly anticipated by fans of the actor.

  Dutt will also release a follow up to his critically acclaimed novel on Rourke in late 2013 entitled “Hollywood Outlaw”.

  Dutt has also has put his artistry to use by working with esteemed graphic novel studio Scattered Comics to produce a martial arts based action comic entitled 'Sword' which is due for release in 2014.