by A. V. Zeppa
They spent the next couple of hours riding the trails all around Harbor Springs. David took Marco to some of his favorite places that had great views of the harbor and Lake Michigan. At one point David decided to let Marco drive, so he gave him a quick lesson. He loved wrapping his arms around Marco’s waist while he cautiously drove down the trails. They were both having the time of their lives.
It was snowing pretty hard by the time they made it back home. They shook the snow off once they were on the porch, and then stood there for a couple of minutes watching the snow fall. Marco couldn’t believe how peaceful it looked, and how beautiful the Christmas lights looked twinkling away in the snowy silence. “You are so lucky to live here,” Marco said, almost in a whisper. “I know I am. It looks magical when it snows like this.” They both turned and looked at each other, each thinking how perfect the moment was. Marco slowly leaned in and Kissed David. A few minutes later they headed inside to get warm.
After hanging up their suits and helmets, the smell of hot chocolate lured them into the kitchen. When they walked in the mood lighting was set perfectly, and two full mugs and a dish of homemade cookies were waiting patiently on the counter to be devoured. There was no one in sight, which was unusual for early evening. But David understood what was going on. He would thank his mom and dad later. They ended up in the great room sitting on the floor by the fireplace listening to music and talking deep into the night.
The next day turned out to be crystal clear and slightly warmer, about twenty degrees, but the weather channel said it was going to snow later in the afternoon.
“Hopefully we’ll have a clear night tonight so I can take you stargazing. But if not, we can try again tomorrow night. It’s always hit or miss this time of year,” David explained while they ate breakfast. “Cool. I’ve never gone stargazing.” They sat at the kitchen table eating scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast with homemade raspberry jam. At one point Marco started grinning like a little kid. David smiled. “What are you thinking about?”
“I was wondering if you would be interested in building a snowman with me. I’ve never made one before.”
“Sure. The snow should be perfect for building one.”
Just as they were finishing with breakfast, David got a text from Melissa wondering what they were up to. “Do you guys want to come over for a movie night? Everyone is dying to meet him.”
He looked at Marco. “My friend Melissa is having movie night tonight. Do you want to go?”
“Yeah, that sounds like fun.”
“Great.” David texted back saying they would be there at 7pm. He attached two smily faces and two thumbs up to let her know things were going well. “You have to see Melissa’s house. It is amazing. It’s right on the harbor and has an incredible view of lake Michigan.”
“I can’t wait to see it.”
“I hope you don’t mind hanging out with my friends. They really want to meet you.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting Melissa and Tyler.” Marco got quiet for a moment as he tried to find the right words. “David?”
“Yeah. Is everything ok?”
“Everything is perfect. I just want you to know that I’ve never had a Christmas break like this. It’s one of the best I’ve ever had. I mean it.” David blushed at those kind words. “I feel the same way. I’m glad you’re having fun. I can’t wait to hang out with your friends in New York.”
They cleaned up the kitchen, and took turns in the bathroom trying to look as hot as they could for each other. This was the normal routine for Marco, but a brand new world for David.
They spent part of the morning building a snowman and having a snowball fight. They both felt like they were ten years old again. At one point while they were goofing around, David’s dad started chopping wood in back of the pole barn. The barn was situated a couple hundred feet from the house, tucked away in a wooded area. Marco was curious about the echoed chopping sounds. “What’s that?” he asked.
“Oh, that’s my dad chopping wood. We heat the whole house with two energy efficient wood burning stoves. My dad and I usually cut eight to ten cords of wood in the fall and winter to make it through the year.”
“That is so cool. It makes everything smell so good out here.”
“Yeah it does. And it’s great exercise too.”
“Can I try to chop some wood?” Marco curiously asked.
“Sure, but you need to be very careful.” They finished the snowman off by dressing him up with one of David’s beanies and an old scarf. They took a couple of selfies together with there creation, making funny faces and giggling like little kids. “My friends are going to get a kick out of this,” Marco said. He sent them to Zander and Claire along with a text, “I’m having the time of my life!!”
David’s father was pleasantly surprised when they walked up and asked if he needed any help. “Dad, Marco wants to learn how to chop wood. Will you teach him how?”
“Sure. Just remember, the main thing is safety first.” He gave Marco a pair of goggles, work gloves, and an axe. He demonstrated how to attach a log to the axe and then come down on a larger stationary log just right.
“Mr. Emerson, do you split all of your wood like this?”
“No. In the fall David and I use chain saws to cut everything into eighteen inch lengths. Then we use a log splitter to do about eighty percent of the chopping. We have a system to get most of our wood split and stacked in a couple of weekends.”
“Well, you definitely don’t have to go to a gym to keep in shape,” Marco said, exhausted after five minutes of chopping.
“Marco, let’s take the snow machines out for a ride,” David said, rescuing him before he had a heart attack.
“That sounds like a good idea. Go have some fun. Thanks for helping, Marco.”
“Anytime Mr. Emerson.”
David’s father smiled as he watched them walk back to the house. Even though he wanted David to take it slow, he hoped that they would become boyfriends at some point. He had a good feeling about Marco, and trusted David’s judgment.
The snow machines were all gassed up and ready to go. Marco was a little nervous about driving solo, but David assured him that he was going to have a blast once they hit the trails. They did a quick safety check and then headed down the driveway and onto the side of the road. A couple of minutes later they were cruising down a freshly groomed trail zipping past snow-covered pine trees and an eternity of snow crystals reflecting in the rays of the sun.
Marco felt totally free for the first time in years. He finally relaxed and started enjoying the silent wilderness around him. He wanted to absorb it all, become part of it, the same way Hemingway had done a century earlier. With his body gliding effortlessly like cogent words on a graceful page, he could feel strength, individualism, and truth in the purest sense. Qualities he needed to acquire in much greater depth. It made him realize how far he was from becoming a relevant writer.
He also realized something else. David already possessed those attributes with the same conviction as Hemingway and Einstein. It was an epiphany that shook him into self-doubt. He knew he had certain advantages David would never come close to attaining, and yet, behind David’s shy exterior, he possessed steely resolve, quiet individualism, and lived a life that was truth personified. How could this have happen? Marco was angry and jealous. His Upper East Side pedigree was supposed to have guaranteed him those qualities. The truth was staring at him from all directions, but he just couldn’t see.
Twenty minutes later they came to the end of the trail, about a quarter mile from the Lake Michigan shoreline. They parked their machines on a bluff and took a much needed break. They pulled off their helmets and kissed. “Are you having fun?” David asked.
“This is an unbelievable experience. I can’t even put it into words, but thank you for taking me out here.”
“You’re welcome.” David pulled up his seat and took out his thermos. “There’s nothing better than hot chocolate and a view o
f Lake Michigan in the winter.”
“As I said last night, you are so lucky to be living in a place like this.”
“I know. Sometimes I pinch myself because it all seems like a dream. You know, I haven’t traveled much, but I really can’t picture any place better than this, although New York City is a close second.”
“New York is definitely unique. It’s an artist’s paradise. It’s a microcosm of human civilization, beauty and ugliness in all its glory. But it is where people like us need to live in order to realize our goals. But when I look around at all of this, I feel something completely different. A writer could really get to know himself and create without the distractions and posturing of city life.” Marco took a couple of sips of his hot chocolate and continued. “I love New York but hate all of the posers who just want to suck the life out of you and then move on to the next victim. To be honest, I’m a participant at times because that’s just the way it is. I guess I’m just weak. I know I sound jaded or spoiled or whatever, but New York will eat you alive if you aren’t careful.”
“I believe you. But I also believe you are strong enough to walk away from the bad stuff if you really want to. I hate the thought of having to leave all of this behind, but I want to be a physicist and I can’t become one here. I’m really scared about moving to New York, but it’s what I need to do. So I have to be brave.”
“David, you have nothing to worry about. I know you’ll be able to handle it. Hey, maybe we could look out for each other..um, you know, help each other stay focused in the fall.”
“I think that is a great idea.” And then without any fear whatsoever, David kissed Marco to seal the deal.
As they cruised down Lakeview Trail into Harbor Springs, a disquieting sense of guilt began to overwhelm David. His heart was being torn to shreds because he was in love with Tyler and Marco. Why did it have to happen? He felt ashamed. He felt like he was cheating on both of them even though he was boyfriends with neither.
When they entered Harbor Springs, David decided to take Marco past an affluent residential area where three story Victorian mansions lined the dormant landscape like patriarchal relics, cold, empty, hoping that the coming spring would give them new life once again. As Marco rode past he saw his own privileged life staring back at him, the surface beauty, the intimidating status, the self-absorbed emptiness. He sped up until he was side by side with David, ignoring those three story empty shells. He couldn’t get out of there fast enough. A couple minutes later they parked their snow machines at Mary’s Diner and had lunch.
Marco sipped his coffee, trying to shake the chill from of his body. “This is definitely an affluent little town. It reminds me of several exclusive Long Island resort towns.”
“You’re right. A lot of wealthy people from Chicago have summer homes here. Without them Harbor Springs would pretty much be a ghost town. Chicago money is the life blood of our economy. It works pretty well because most of those people just want to blend in and enjoy the area. That’s how I met Melissa. Her father is a corporate lawyer in Chicago and loves it up here, so he built an awesome vacation home. I know you’re going to like her. She’s the nicest person I know other than Tyler.” Just the sound of Tyler’s name made Marco jealous. He needed to figure out a strategy against this potential adversary. “So, tell me more about Tyler.”
David’s adorable smile appeared in an instant, and that’s when Marco knew.
“He’s athletic, smart, funny, honest, and the best friend I’ve ever had. He knows me better than anyone. He stood by me after I came out in middle school. He’s always been there for me, and I’ve tried to be there for him. He never lets on, but I know he protects me from certain people at school who would love to hurt me if they ever got the chance. I think of him as my guardian angel.” Marco did his best to sound upbeat. “Tyler sounds like the perfect friend. You two are fortunate to have each other.”
“I know. I don’t know what would have happened to me if we hadn’t met.” The guilt resurfaced with a vengeance as soon as David said those words.
All of a sudden Marco’s phone buzzed. It was a text from Zander. “The pic you sent of yourself sitting on that snow thing in that god awful outfit makes you look like a fucking hillbilly. I’m going to start calling you Jethro from now on..lol And what’s with all the fucking snow. I’m sitting on the beach in the Cayman Islands getting the perfect tan and drinking a margarita smoothie, something you should be doing with me right now.” A selfie of Zander holding his drink against the backdrop of a turquoise shoreline was attached to the text. Then another message popped up.
“The guys are so fucking hot down here. I’m getting laid every night. You would be too.”
Marco messaged back. “Fuck you. You’re an asshole.” He put his phone away only to have it buzz again. Curiosity got the best of him, so he read the text. “Sorry. I’m just fucking with you. David is hot ;-) Now I understand. Later
“Who was that?”
“Zander.”
“I can’t wait to meet him and the rest of your friends.”
“They are an interesting group to say the least.”
After lunch they walked to the harbor and entered an area on the docks where a long row of rustic shanties sat side by side like time capsules of the past. They looked sad and near death, so Marco was surprised to find out they were specialty stores that sold all sorts of things. Souvenirs, smoked fish, books, ice cream, and artwork by local artists from the area. David took Marco to the The Harbor Bay Book Store, his favorite shanty. It was the last one on the dock and had the best view. His neighbor, Mrs. Tariel owned it with her husband. It was his favorite place to read during the summer.
They walked in and found her standing in front of her easel painting away. She was one of the well-known local artists. She looked up. “David, I’m so happy to see you. Merry Christmas.” She put her brushes down and gave him a hug.
“Merry Christmas Mrs. Tariel. I’d like you to meet my friend Marco Valerio. He’s visiting from New York.”
“Marco, it is so nice to meet you.”
“It is nice to meet you. You have a wonderful store. I love the rustic ambience, and the location.”
“Thank you. I’ve tried to make it feel homey and inviting. David, why don’t you show Marco around while I make us some coffee.”
“Great idea, thanks.” They went from section to section until they got to the section that was inspired by David. “Mrs. Tariel surprised me with this a couple of years ago.”
Marco smiled. “Very cool.” She had assembled an array of LGBTQ fiction, non-fiction, and informational books for teenagers who were gay, transgender, or questioning. They were surrounded by books on mathematics, physics, and astronomy. “It is quiet back here, so anyone who is gay or questioning can check things out without everyone staring at them. We are trying to change attitudes as much as we can.”
“I didn’t know you were a rebel. Good for you.”
David smiled and grabbed Marco’s hand. “Come with me.” They headed out the back door to the freshly shoveled patio. “This view is heaven.”
“Yeah. It’s my favorite place to read. During the peak of the summer tourist season I help Mrs. Tariel out. It has been the perfect summer job for me.”
“I’m sure it has.”
“The funny thing is, I don’t even care about the money. I would work for free if she’d let me, because she was the first adult to support me after I came out. Her sister Karen is a lesbian, and her best friends, Todd and Brock are gay. They live in Chicago and have been partners since college.”
“Very cool. Have you ever met them?”
“Yes. They vacation here every summer. I was in eighth grade when I first met them. They spoke at a school assembly along with Mrs. Tariel, a psychologist, and the president of the Michigan chapter of GLSEN after some guys beat me up for being gay.”
Marco gave David a pained look. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Yeah, it was a bad time,
but I think some people learned from it.”
Marco hugged David and kissed his forehead. “If you don’t mind talking about it, I’d like to know what happened. I’ll understand if you don’t want to, but I think it would help me to get to know you better.”
David leaned against the railing trying to decide. “I don’t mind talking about it.” He took a deep breath. “So, after I came out, all of my friends, with the exception of Tyler and Melissa, disowned me. It didn’t take long before they started to bully me by calling me a queer, a cocksucker, and all the other typical expletives associated with being gay. When that was no longer entertaining enough, four of my ex friends started randomly punching me. They punched my arms, chest, and back really hard, and shoved me against the lockers and walls every chance they got. They attacked me whenever Tyler or the teachers weren’t around.
After a month of that things seemed to settle down, so I thought they were finally getting over it. But I was so wrong. One day they jumped me when I was coming out of my math class. They dragged me to an empty classroom and put duct tape over my mouth, duct taped my hands behind my back and duct taped my ankles together, then proceeded to beat the shit out of me. I thought I was going to die because they went at me like animals. This one guy, Jason, who I had known my whole life, held me up while the other three punched and kicked me repeatedly. The last thing I remember before I blacked out was hearing someone yell, ‘You die now you fuckin queer.’ I was in a coma for nine days. The police told my parents that I was lucky a couple of girls just happened to look into the classroom. They screamed when they saw my body face down on the floor covered in blood. One of the girls ran to get help and the other one called 911. My doctors said that I would have died if she hadn’t called because I had gone into cardiac arrest. They used the defibrillator and had to give me three jolts to bring me back. After I regained consciousness I told the police who had beat me, and they were arrested. Of course they denied it, but the DNA tests did the trick. The trial was statewide news and even made its way to the national news as part of a piece on the rise of gay hate crimes.”