by A. V. Zeppa
David stopped at that point and took a deep breath. Marco stood there doing everything he could to keep from crying. “Hey, don’t feel sad. I survived and I’m ok now.” Marco wiped his face with his sleeve. “I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe anyone would want to hurt you.”
“Yeah. It made me a stronger person. And it made me appreciate how fragile and temporary everything is. It also brought my dad back to me.”
“What? I don’t understand.”
“When I came out to my parents, my dad had a hard time accepting it. Our relationship was really strained, basically nonexistent from that point on, that is until I awoke from the coma. I’ll never forget it as long as I live. Tyler was sitting next to my bed when I started regaining consciousness. I tried to let him know that I knew he was there by moving my fingers. When he finally noticed, he put his hand in mine and started crying and telling me how much he loved me. Then he yelled for my parents and that was all I remembered. I blacked out for another two days. When I woke up the second time my dad was sitting next me rubbing my arm and staring at the wall. He looked lost. He didn’t realize I was awake so I moved my hand and put it on top of his. He turned and looked at me like he was seeing a ghost, or a second chance. He put his hand in mine and started crying uncontrollably, asking for my forgiveness over and over. He told me he was sorry and loved me more than anything. The pain and the hate my friends inflicted on me was worth it because my dad loved me again.”
Marco’s body shook slightly, and it wasn’t from the cold. He tried to find the right words. “You and your dad are lucky. Second chances are rare in this world.”
“We are lucky.”
“So, what happened to them? How many years did they get? I hope those mother fuckers got life.”
“Because of their age and having no prior offenses, the charges against them were plea-bargained down to a hate crime assault. They spent two years in a juvenile facility downstate. As far as I know they have to see a psychiatrist a few times a week and do community service until they turn eighteen. Two of them have already turned eighteen, and the other two will be eighteen in March and May. Fortunately, all four families moved away from here, so I haven’t had to worry about them.”
“David, I….” Marco was lost for words.
“Yeah, it was a pretty bad time, but I’m still here, and I’m happy. I just kind of look at everything as a gift now. That includes meeting you.” David smiled, and then put his hand in Marco’s.
It was 7pm when they headed over to Melissa’s. There was a light snow falling just as the weatherman had predicted, so David wasn’t too disappointed about not being able to stargaze. It was supposed to clear up over the next couple of days, so he was hopeful about taking Marco to his special place.
David seemed relaxed on the surface as he drove and chatted with Marco about school and friends. But on the inside he was a nervous wreck trying to figure out his dilemma. He was in love with Tyler, and had fallen in love with Marco. He assumed they weren’t in love with him, but if by some small chance they were, he honestly didn’t know how he could choose one over the other.
Being logical and keeping his emotions in check were proving to be an impossible task because Marco was sitting next to him being charming as ever, and Tyler was a few miles away waiting for them to arrive. David felt like he was betraying his best friend, and leading Marco on. He started having second thoughts about the whole evening, especially when he visualized the three of them in the same room together. He wanted to turn around and go home, but it was too late to be a coward.
David had talked to Melissa about his feelings a few days prior to Marco’s arrival. He explained what she already knew. She gave her typical straightforward advice.
“The first thing you need to do is be honest with yourself. What are you looking for in a guy? Make a list of qualities you would want a boyfriend to have. Once you’ve figured that out, do Tyler and Marco possess any of those qualities? If they do, don’t wait around for them. You need to talk to the one who is the one and make your feelings known. Ask him to be your boyfriend. If he says yes, then you need to let the other one know in case they have feelings for you. It isn’t an easy thing to do. Personally, I think both of them like you, but they’re afraid to say it, just like you are.”
“Why is this so complicated? I never thought…” David looked at Melissa totally lost.
“Welcome to the wonderful world of dating.”
“Thanks a lot. Multivariate Calc is ten times easier compared to this.”
Melissa smiled, and then went for the jugular. “I know it’s Tyler. You’re in love with him. You need to tell him.” Those words were shots to his heart, hitting him with blunt force. In a barely audible voice David said, “I don’t want to pressure him. I don’t want him to panic like he did the last time.”
“David, you need to tell him that you’re in love with him and that you want him to be your boyfriend. You can’t wait around any longer, especially with Marco in the picture.”
“That’s what I hate about this whole situation. I pressure Tyler, and if he isn’t ready, then I settle for Marco. Is that fair to Marco?”
“Yes it is. It’s ok to like more than one guy. I know you like Marco a lot, but you and Tyler have something unique, and you have to know how he feels about you. If he doesn’t feel the same way, then you can move on without having a guilty conscience.”
“You’re right as usual.”
“It’s not about me being right, it’s about your happiness. I think you are lucky to have two guys in your life that you like. I think Marco would love to be your boyfriend, and I know Tyler is scared and confused, and you’re protecting him, but you need to talk about it.”
David and Marco pulled into the last space in the driveway and were welcomed by a spectacular array of Christmas lights highlighting the sleek facade of the house. David was surprised to see so many cars already there. Marco’s eyes were transfixed as they walked up the driveway. “This home is outrageous. It screams individualism. I love it.”
“Yeah. And look at that view of the harbor. It’s incredible.”
They got halfway up the walkway leading to the front entry when Marco stopped and started taking pictures. “Let’s take a selfie with the house as a backdrop.” David turned and stood next to him and posed. After they took a few cute ones they started making funny faces and fake gang signs while Marco clicked away. Unaware they were being observed, Melissa stood at the entry doors watching David have the time of his life. It made her smile to see him so happy. She opened the storm door and asked in her best motherly voice, “Are you children ready to come in out of the cold yet?” They both turned around quickly, like they had been caught doing something terrible. David grinned, “Yes mommy. Will you make Marco and me some hot coco?” Marco gave Melissa a nervous grin as they walked towards her. David’s heart started beating faster and faster with each step. “Melissa, I’d like you to meet Marco.”
“Hi Marco, it’s nice to finally meet you,” she said, in a somewhat guarded tone. She could see how much David liked this guy, so she decided to be as fair as possible in her assessment.
“Melissa, it is so nice to meet you,” Marco said, not knowing if he should shake her hand or give her a hug. He did neither because she abruptly turned and gave David a hug and kiss instead. He knew he had been dissed, but pretended not to notice. “Melissa, your home is amazing. I love the Frank Lloyd Wright influences.”
“Thank you. This house is my father’s pride and joy.” Marco walked from the foyer into the living room to take it all in. David followed, and then Melissa. She discreetly checked Marco out, calculating his Neiman Marcus Bomber Jacket was in the four to five thousand dollar range, and his Gucci high tops were at least eight hundred dollars. Everything else he was wearing screamed New York fashion runway. Marco knew he was being scrutinized. It was what he had expected.
David didn’t have a clue about the chess game Melissa and Marco were playi
ng through body language and conversation. Stalemate was on the horizon, so Melissa changed tactics. “Why don’t we head to the great room, everyone has been waiting for you guys to show up.”
When they walked in, everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at Marco. Like it was preordained, his presence mesmerized every person in the room. He would have them eating from his hand in mere seconds. He smiled his confident smile while he quickly scanned the guys, trying to figure out which one was Tyler. In an instant he had locked eyes with his competition.
David gave everyone a nervous smile, “I’d like you to meet my friend Marco Valerio.”
Everyone took turns introducing themselves and making small talk. David watched the looks on Emma, Kathy, and Aubree’s faces as they checked Marco out from head to toe. Brad, Mike, Kevin, and Lucas introduced themselves next.
Tyler stood a few feet away watching Marco charm everyone, David included. Just the thought of having to shake that guy’s hand made him want to puke. He wasn’t ready for this at all, this nightmare he had created, but decided to put on his best game face when he was finally introduced. “Tyler, I-I’d like you t-to meet Marco,” David said, stuttering like crazy. Tyler and Marco stared each other down with feigned smiles as they shook hands. David wanted to cry.
Tyler spoke first. “Welcome to the wilderness Marco, I hope you’ve been having fun.”
Their eyes stayed locked on each other like two demigods ready to battle it out for the golden haired treasure. “I definitely have been. David has been the perfect host,” Marco said, in a measured neutral tone. He continued, “David has told me a lot about you, how close you guys are and everything. It’s an honor to hang out with you.” He hoped to disarm Tyler with those words.
Tyler had a strategy of his own. “I hope we can get to know each other better. Any friend of David’s is a friend of mine.” He turned to David and gave him a hug. “I’m glad you guys could make it tonight.”
“Me too.” David said, feeling like his whole body was coming apart at the seams. He took a deep breath so he could calm down. “Thanks again for the awesome Christmas present. You shouldn’t have spent so much money.”
“I know how much you love Rush, and I wanted to make sure that you had all of their remastered CDs before heading to New York.”
“That is so sweet of you.” And then those other words slipped out. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” Tyler said, without hesitating. He gave David another hug.
Marco look away to give them some privacy, and because he didn’t want that image floating around in his head for even a second.
All of a sudden a pillow came flying out of nowhere and hit Tyler in the back of the head.
“Get your ass over here and help us set the room up,” Brad said, standing next to Lucas like a typical smart ass kid who was trying to pick a fight. “Excuse me while I go help those two morons,” Tyler said. He threw the pillow back and helped them set everything up.
Melissa’s parents made a brief appearance. “Merry Christmas David.”
“Merry Christmas Mr. and Mrs. Nolan. I would like you to meet my friend Marco Valerio.”
“Merry Christmas Marco. It is nice to meet you.”
Marco shook their hands. “It is nice to meet the both of you. I think your home is amazing. It is a living breathing piece of art.”
“That is so kind of you to say. Not many teenagers appreciate this kind of architecture,” Mr. Nolan said, beaming with pride. Melissa gently but strategically changed the conversation to the night’s movie options. Her parents took the hint and excused themselves.
Strategies were flying all over that great room between Marco, Tyler, and Melissa. Everyone else partied away, oblivious to the Shakespearian tragedy that was slowly unfolding.
Melissa put on some music. The conversations became more animated and filled with laughter.
Tyler discreetly watched how affectionate Marco was being with David. How their bodies touched every now and then. The shy smiles they exchanged. How happy they seemed to be. That’s when he knew he had made the biggest mistake of his life. He had squandered so many opportunities to tell David that he was in love with him, and now it was too late. It was a secret he would keep forever so his best friend could be happy. He just hoped Marco understood how special David was and would treat him with the love and respect he deserved. He had to let Marco know this before the night was over.
Marco, on the other hand, knew Tyler was in love with David. His gaydar was working perfectly. He could see the tender way Tyler looked at David when he thought no one was watching. And the nervous stutters and shy gazes from David whenever Tyler was near him, said it all. Tyler was his competition. Marco needed to make some strategic moves in order to win David’s heart.
Melissa decided to commandeer Marco into the kitchen so they could talk. She wanted to see what he was all about. A few seconds later Brad came over and picked David up and slung him over his shoulder so they could have one of their epic pillow fights. Brad dumped him on the couch and started hitting him with a pillow. Mike and Lucas joined in but Tyler came to the rescue, grabbing a pillow and knocking both of them away. David got up, grabbed a pillow and it became two against three as they all laughed hysterically.
They finally stopped their nonsense and continued to set up viewing spots. They were short a couple of blankets and pillows, so Tyler and David went to get more from the lower level linen closet. It was one of the quietest walks they had ever taken. It was all being said without saying a word, but David didn’t want it to rest there. He needed to let Tyler know that he was in love with him. Tyler started to open the closet door but David put his hand on it and held it closed. He looked Tyler in eyes. “I need to tell you something.”
Tyler looked away, his heart breaking but trying to summon whatever strength he had left. He put on the performance of his life. “David, please…please don’t say anything. Not now. Please”
“I have to,” David said, as his eyes started to sting. “I’m in love with you. I always have been.”
Tyler wanted to tell him the truth, but the other truth was still in the way. “I don’t know what I am or what I feel or what I’m supposed to feel.” David broke down. Tyler put his arms around him and rubbed his back. “Please don’t cry. Please. I want you to be happy. You don’t have to wait any longer.”
A couple of seconds later Brad yelled, “Where in the hell did you guys go?”
“We’ll be there in a second,” Tyler yelled back. They both wiped their eyes and headed back upstairs without saying a word. Brad and the guys could see something had happened, but wisely left it alone. David did a quick beeline to the bathroom. Tyler handed the blankets and pillows to Brad and stared blankly into the fireplace.
After everyone had eaten and cleaned the kitchen, they headed back to the great room. Melissa pushed three buttons on the wall and made the theater system come to life. The movies chosen were Elf and The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It was a couples night once again so everyone cozied up on their blankets. David and Marco went the platonic route and sat next to each other, leaning against the couch. Marco wanted to hold David’s hand but wisely decided not to go there. He could tell David’s emotions were in a volatile state. The last thing he wanted to do was miscalculate.
Tyler was the odd one out and sat by himself near the fireplace. He did his best to pretend he was into Elf, but David and Marco sitting next to each other was driving him crazy. He wanted to get the hell out of there and go home.
As the movie played, Melissa discreetly watched David who was discreetly looking at Tyler every few seconds while Marco pretended not to notice. Ten minutes into the movie David couldn’t take it any longer and finally crawled over to Tyler. “Will you come sit with me?”
“I’m fine right here. Please don’t worry about me.” David’s feelings were hurt, but he understood. Marco could see how hurt David was when he crawled back, so he did the honorable thing and
crawled over to Tyler. “David needs you. Please.” Without saying a word, Tyler followed Marco back and apologized to David.
Everyone enjoyed watching Elf for the umpteenth time. It was a Christmas tradition. The New York scenes became topics of interest for the girls. They asked Marco all sorts of questions about the city. He tried to explain what it was like living in Manhattan without letting on how privileged his life actually was.
Things settled down into reflective quiet when Melissa put on Perks. The scene where Patrick asks Charlie to keep Brad’s sexuality a secret made Tyler realize how his own fears had made him lose David. He got up without saying a word and went to the bathroom to calm down. His hands were shaking as he put cold water on his face and looked in the mirror. Staring back at him was an image partially intact and fading fast.
Once composed, Tyler veered off to the kitchen on his way back to get something to drink. He poured himself a glass of orange juice and drank it while looking out the window at the falling snow. His eyes started to sting a little, making the outside Christmas lights blur. He was wiping his eyes when he heard a voice. “The snow looks beautiful.” He turned around and saw Marco standing next to the island. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in.”
“I was wondering if I could get something to drink.”
“Yeah, of course. Let me get it for you.” He got a glass out of the cupboard and pressed it against the ice maker. Marco tried to find the right words while Tyler filled his glass with orange juice. “I hope my being here isn’t too awkward.” Tyler handed him the glass and then took a sip from his, trying to stay calm. “No, it’s not awkward. I’m glad you guys are getting to know each other.”
“I’ll back off if you want me to. I sincerely mean that. I can see you and David have something special together and I don’t want to harm that in any way.” Tyler looked down at the counter desperately trying keep the truth from spilling out. “I appreciate your concern, but…” His voice became soft. “David is my best friend. All I ask is that you never hurt him. Can you promise me that?” Hearing those words and seeing the look on Tyler’s face hit Marco hard. “I promise. I would never do anything to hurt David. Please believe me.” Tyler hoped he was telling the truth. “We should probably get back.” It turned out to be a long night for all three of them.