Think Again

by Isabel Lucero

  So, he wants to go behind my back and talk to women online? He wants to create dating profiles like he’s not a married man and meet up with women at hotels? Well, fine. But now he’s pushed me too far. I’ll keep up the happy façade for a while, but now it’s my turn to go behind his back. I’ll collect all the proof I can, so he won’t be able to fight the divorce.

  Aaron and his family don’t believe in divorce.

  When he finally admitted to cheating, we argued and I threatened to leave him. He made it clear then that it wouldn’t happen. He told me we’d just have to work through our problems because Stewarts’ don’t get divorced. I stayed because I loved him and truly did want to work everything out.

  I may not even have to take everything to court, and if I’m being honest, I’m not sure if all of it could be used, but if he knows what I have, he may be more likely to settle everything nicely. God forbid his reputation be ruined.

  Men should know that a woman scorned is the best damn detective you’ll ever meet and a bitch you never want to cross. Aaron Stewart is about to learn his lesson.

  “I’ll probably be home late today,” Aaron tells me before he leaves for work. Surprise, surprise.

  “Okay. No problem. I have plans after work anyway.”

  He tilts his head, clearly not expecting that response, because I never have plans. “Huh. Okay. Talk to you later.”

  “Bye,” I say with a forced smile.

  He gives me his own smile before getting into his black Yukon Denali and backing out of the garage. As soon as he’s gone, I drop the smile and roll my eyes.

  “Working late. Pft,” I say out loud.

  I yank open the door to my silver Grand Cherokee and climb in, heading to work as well. The weekend went by quickly, as it seems to always do. He worked in his office a lot, and I spent my time giving the house a good scrub down. We had dinner together Sunday, because he said he felt bad for spending so much time working on Saturday.

  If you didn’t know better, you’d never expect anything to be wrong with us. We still talk about work, our families, friends, or whatever might be on TV. It’s stilted conversation, but conversation nonetheless. We don’t argue excessively, not like you’d expect. Our relationship is more like that of roommates than a marriage. We get along well enough, and have almost no intimacy.

  Even though I saw him at the hotel with the redhead, I have no physical evidence that they had sex. Like I said, it didn’t look like she had just had sex, but maybe she did. She did come down before him, and if they had been together, wouldn’t they have left together? But why was he there in the first place? He’s clearly keeping something from me because a married man doesn’t need to have a hotel room and a different account to pay for it. I need proof before I confront him, because I’m not going to have him trying to make me feel stupid again, and the Have an Affair website isn’t enough. He’ll come up with some bullshit excuse about how he never used it, and I need evidence that he can’t talk himself out of.

  I’ll admit that it’s difficult to be around him sometimes, and not just because I’m hurt and angry at him, but because I still love him. I’ve known him for so long and have so many good memories with him. When he hugs me or kisses my forehead, I feel the tears burning the back of my eyes, because I wish things could be different. Why does he have to want other women? Why isn’t he happy with just me? I end up having to push away from him and walk off, trying to fight back tears, because I don’t want him to question why I’m crying.

  Aaron has his moments when he’s the Aaron I fell in love with. He’s not a complete asshole every day, and sometimes I wish he was. Maybe it would be easier. He still tells me he loves me, and he makes plans for the future, like a trip we should take, or how he’s thinking we should go away for a holiday. It’s confusing as hell, and I don’t understand him.

  Then there’s those times where he’s locked away in his office and I know he’s talking to another woman. I can hear the way his voice changes. It’s softer than it is when he’s talking to his friends. It breaks my heart that he sounds happy when he talks to them. He’ll come out and say he has to go by his office at work for something, but I know better. He’s meeting her. Whoever she is. Maybe there’s more than one.

  He’s constantly responding to emails and messages, and even if some happen to be work related, or from his friends, I can’t help but think it’s from another woman every single time.

  Every.

  Single.

  Time.

  Imagine how your heart feels when that little ping goes off and all you think is that he’s talking to another woman. What could he be saying? Is he complimenting her? Is he making plans with her? Does he love her?

  My trust has been broken, and he’ll never get it back.

  He apologized when he was caught before, but apologies mean nothing when you continue to do the same shit.

  Telling him that I have plans after work today was a lie. I don’t have any plans, but maybe I’ll start doing things he’s been doing. I can stay out late, or have Janna or Carmen text me late at night, and not tell him who I’m talking to. Is it immature? Maybe. But I want him to get a taste of what I go through. Maybe I just want to see if he’s even capable of being jealous. Is he worried I could cheat on him, or is that not even a concern for him?

  If he were to be jealous, I’d at least know he cares. Feeling indifferent is the worst thing that could happen.

  When I get to work, Scott and Anne are the only ones there. Scott Monroe practices family medicine in his own clinic, and he’s such a good man to work for. He was my doctor when I was growing up, so we have a good, longstanding relationship. Scott’s in his early sixties, has a full head of white hair, and while he’s put on a few extra pounds lately, it’s not like he’s too out of shape.

  Anne’s one of the receptionists and is probably the perfect person for the job. She has a bubbly personality and is one of the friendliest people I know. The patients love her. We all love her.

  We have a few nurses here, me being one of them, and we just recently lost our other receptionist. It’s not a huge clinic, but it’s a nice one. Dr. Monroe has put a lot of time and money into this place, making it feel more inviting than your typical doctor’s office.

  The waiting area has coffee and water available for everybody, a large flat screen adorns the wall, and the furniture is soft and comfortable. Instead of hard, chrome-legged chairs, we have chairs you’d wish were in your living room.

  We have a beautiful fireplace that we use during the winter. In typical Alaska fashion, a large moose head is mounted above it. When you walk into the clinic, you get a very rustic, cabin vibe. It’s like walking into a vacation spot rather than a medical clinic. We’ve found it puts the younger kids at ease, and Scott was sure to have a little play area for them with their own TV that only plays cartoons.

  “Good morning, Anne,” I greet.

  “Morning, Aria. How was your weekend?”

  “Oh, you know. Same ol’ stuff,” I answer honestly. “How was yours? Did you and Nick go out?”

  Her face lights up. “We did! He got us a reservation at Glacier Brewhouse, and we stuffed our faces with crab cake appetizers, and he got the grilled ribeye, and I got the king crab legs. I ended up having to take like half of it home, but it was so good! We tried some of their handcrafted ales, and they were delicious, too!”

  Anne tends to ramble on when she’s excited, but she always puts a smile on my face, so I don’t mind it.

  “I’m glad you had a good time. Bet you didn’t even think about turning thirty-three,” I say with a cheeky smile.

  “Shush!” she says with a laugh. “I had almost convinced myself I was twenty-five again.”

  “You look twenty-five, so it’s okay.”

  She waves her hand at me and turns to go through some papers. Anne was freaking out over getting older, but I think it’s mostly because her boyfriend, Nick, is younger than her at twenty-nine. He worships her, though,
and they are the most adorable couple you’ll ever see.

  Anne’s short black hair frames her angular face perfectly. Her smile is wide and beautiful, and her big brown eyes are framed by thick, dark lashes. Nick hovers over her five foot five frame with his six foot two frame. His caramel colored hair is a bit long and thick, but he pulls the look off well. His square jaw is strong and covered by a bit of a beard that Anne loves.

  They’ve been dating for two and a half years, and Anne is convinced he’s the one. I don’t disagree. I’ve been around them quite a few times, even having a double date with Aaron a while back, and they really are perfect for each other.

  “Hey, Aria,” Scott says as he walks up front.

  “Morning.”

  “When I don’t need you back here, do you mind being out front with Anne until we can get another receptionist in here?” he asks.

  “No, that’s fine. I kind of like Anne,” I say, dropping to the seat next to her.

  “Gee, thanks,” Anne says with a playful roll of her eyes.

  I put my hands in the pockets of my puppy covered scrub top. “Are both Sharon and Roberta coming in today?”

  “Yeah, I called Roberta in on her day off, so she might be grumpy, but with JoAnn quitting like she did, I need the extra set of hands, because today is gonna be a busy one.”

  “Well, I’m happy to help, Doc. You know that. If you need me to work more on Saturdays, or stay late, I can do that.”

  Both he and Anne look at me funny. “Well, thanks. I appreciate that. We should have some new help soon.”

  “Oh yeah. Friday, right?” I say, remembering I have to pick up the new person from the airport.

  “You already hired someone?” Anne asks.

  He opens his mouth to answer, but the front door opens and our first patient comes in.

  “I’ll be ready in five,” he says, heading to his office in the back. “Put her in the first room.”

  Right after the patient checks in, Roberta—a forty-six year old stout woman with dark hair—walks in, and Sharon—a tall, blonde forty year old with light blue eyes—is on her heels.

  The morning goes by quickly, and I’m glad I get to spend more time with Anne today. She put me in a better mood, because she has that type of positive personality that you can’t ignore. It’s impossible to be grumpy around Anne, she’s too upbeat and happy. We laughed and joked all morning, and I didn’t even think about my messed up situation with Aaron at all.

  While I haven’t told her what’s going on with me and him, she knows it’s not all rainbows and flowers between us, so she won’t bring him up unless I do, and I’m grateful.

  “You have lunch plans?” she asks, grabbing her purse from under the desk.

  “I’m just gonna go grab something and bring it back here to eat.”

  “You want to have lunch with me and Nick?”

  “That’s okay,” I say with a smile. “Thanks, though. Tell him hi for me.”

  “Tell him yourself,” she says, jerking her head in a way that tells me to turn around. Her smile takes over her face as Nick walks in.

  “Hey, Nick,” I greet.

  “Hey, Aria. How’s it going?”

  “It’s going,” I say.

  “I’m here to take my girl to lunch,” he says, giving Anne an adorable smile.

  She gets up and makes her way around the desk and into his arms. Nick picks her up, his lips locking onto hers. They are too adorable.

  “Have fun.”

  “We will,” Anne says as he places her back on her feet. “See you soon.”

  I make a quick run to a Subway that’s about ten minutes away, and then I’m back in the clinic, getting comfortable on the couch in the waiting area and watching TV.

  When I’m only about halfway done with my foot long sandwich, I hear someone trying to open the doors even though it clearly says we’re closed for lunch right now.

  I put my sandwich down next to me and wipe the crumbs from my mouth and shirt before heading to the door.

  “Oh jeez,” I say to myself.

  The only word I can come up with for this man is striking. Obviously he’s a new patient, because I’ve never seen him before. He’s tall. At least six foot. His dark brown hair is combed back, and his mustache and beard are trimmed to perfection. The dark hair covers his strong jaw, yet somehow highlights it as well. The eyes, though. They are the prettiest blue you’ll ever see and they are staring right at me with an intensity that gives me chills. His three piece, light blue suit fits him like a glove, and oh my god, why is he so handsome?

  I unlock the door and pull it open with a smile.

  “Hi. I’m sorry, but we don’t open for another forty minutes. Everyone is at lunch.”

  “You’re here,” he states plainly, a tiny smirk on his perfect lips.

  “Yeah, well, I’m having lunch here.”

  “Is Dr. Monroe here?” he asks, looking past me and into the clinic.

  “He isn’t taking patients right now,” I say a bit more stern than I intended. But this guy, no matter how good looking he is, is taking up my lunch time and being a bit pushy. “And like I said, everyone is at lunch.”

  “Everyone but you.”

  “I’m at lunch right now. My food is actually over there waiting for me, so if you don’t mind, you can come back in forty minutes.” I begin to close the door.

  “I don’t have anywhere to go right now, and I was dropped off by a cab, so do you mind if I just wait in here?”

  I let out a little huff. “Come on in.”

  He smiles. “Thanks.”

  I take my place back on the couch and pick up my sandwich. Mr. Pushy decides to sit in a chair to my right and watch TV with me.

  With his perfect suit, shiny black shoes, and gorgeous face, he makes me feel like a slob in my unflattering puppy-covered scrubs, tennis shoes, and messy ponytail.

  “Do you usually eat here all alone?” he asks.

  I have to finish chewing before I can answer. “Not all the time, but I like to. I get the place to myself and it’s quiet.” I glance over at him. “Usually.”

  He chuckles. “Sorry to ruin your solitude today.”

  I give him a lopsided smile and shrug. “I guess it’s okay.”

  Mr. Pushy gives me a small grin before focusing on the TV again. I finish my sandwich, swallow down my bottle of water, and then throw everything away. I go behind the desk and dig out my compact from my purse, needing to make sure I don’t have mustard on my face or food in my teeth. With a touch of lipstick, I fix what I messed up while I was eating, and powder my face a little.

  “Is Dr. Monroe expecting you?” I ask.

  He stands from the chair and struts to the desk. “No, probably not, but I figured I would stop by and say hello anyway.”

  “Okay,” I say with a bit of confusion.

  He looks around the clinic. “This is a nice place. Unique.”

  “Yeah,” I say, looking around the room with him. “I like it.”

  I start to look through the schedule and see how many patients we have this afternoon. The first half will be a little busy, but it will die down after the first couple of hours.

  The door opens and Anne takes several steps before stopping short when she sees Mr. Pushy standing in the middle of the room. She eyes him up and down before looking at me.

  “I wasn’t expecting anybody to be here yet. Am I late?” she asks, looking at the clock.

  “Nope. You’re good. He’s waiting for Dr. Monroe.”

  Anne gives him a smile which he returns, then as she makes her way behind the desk, she wiggles her brows, making me laugh.

  “He’s hot,” she whispers as she sits next to me.

  “I know,” I whisper back.

  Dr. Monroe comes in as me and Anne are talking, and I see Mr. Pushy walk over and shake his hand. I don’t hear what they say to each other because Anne is in my ear talking about her lunch with Nick. The two men go back into Scott’s office, but before Mr.
Pushy is out of view, he looks over and smiles at me one more time.

  “So, I basically had to inhale my food because it took so long to come out,” Anne says, finishing her story.

  “Wow, that sucks,” I reply, knowing I didn’t need to hear the whole story in order to respond.

  An hour and a half goes by and Mr. Pushy still hasn’t left. Scott has had patients this whole time, so I wonder if he’s just letting this guy sit in his office between appointments.

  A little before two, while we have a bit of a break between patients, Scott comes out, followed by Mr. P.

  “Aria, Anne,” he starts, “Mr. Callahan has already met Roberta and Sharon back there, but I wanted to introduce you. Chris Callahan will start working with us within the next week or two. I’m bringing him on as another physician. He showed up a little early, so Aria, you don’t have to worry about picking him up from the airport on Friday. However, if you don’t mind, will you show him around town a little bit and take him back to his hotel? I’ll let you off now so you don’t have to be out late.”

  My mouth moves, looking for words, but nothing comes out right away. Eventually, I murmur, “Oh, yeah. Sure.”

  Mr. Callahan gives me a crooked smile over Scott’s shoulder.

  “Wow. Nice to meet you, Mr. Callahan,” Anne says, finding her words a bit easier.

  “Please, call me Chris,” he answers with a charming smile while extending his hand to her.

  “Scott, why after all these years are you bringing another doctor on board?” I ask, truly taken by surprise.

  “Well, I’m not getting any younger,” he responds with a hearty laugh. “I’ve known Chris for a while now, because his dad and I go way back. I think he’ll be a great addition and someone I can trust to take over later down the line,” he says, slapping the back of Mr. Callahan’s shoulder. I only nod in response. “Well, if you’re ready, you and Chris can leave now, and I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

  “Sure thing.”

  “Thanks, Aria.”