Think Again

by Isabel Lucero

  Jan: Ugh. I hate you. I just tried calling. I’m bored. Call me back or else.

  Her messages make me laugh, mostly because of the wide-eyed emoji face with a gun to its head. Chris goes to the bathroom, and I realize he might think I’m laughing at something Aaron sent. Shit.

  Aaron: Haven’t heard from you all day. Are you okay? I’m about to go out with the guys soon, but I’ll have my phone on me.

  I don’t bother responding to Janna, because if I do, she won’t stop trying to talk. I’ll have to call her when I get home.

  I listen to the one voicemail that I have, and Aaron’s voice booms into my ear. I look over my shoulder to make sure Chris can’t hear, but he’s still in the bathroom.

  Aria. Where are you? Can you answer my text, please?

  He ends the message with an annoyed sigh, and since I figure he’ll keep calling or messaging until he hears from me, I type out a quick reply, letting him know I’m fine.

  “Checking in?” Chris’s voice makes me jump as he leans over my shoulder, burying his face into my neck.

  “Umm.” I gulp, afraid to tell him about Aaron’s messages.

  Chris’s hands rub the outsides of my legs before moving up and squeezing my ass. I feel him nibble on my neck, and my eyes close automatically, enjoying his touch.

  “Go ahead,” he murmurs, his tone serious.

  “I’m sorry. I just have to . . . so he doesn’t . . .” I don’t know how to finish. I don’t want to finish. Chris’s fingers begin rubbing circles on my clit through my panties.

  “You better do it now,” he says, moving the panties to the side and sliding his finger inside of me. “Because I’m not stopping.”

  I make a noise between a gasp and a moan as he fingers me, my legs quaking beneath me. Chris walks forward, making me do the same until I reach the bed. He pulls my panties down in one quick movement and bends me over the bed.

  “Are you going to answer him, Aria?” he growls, his voice going harsh. “Go on. Reply to him while I fuck you. I’ll guarantee that even while talking to him, you’ll be thinking about me.”

  I hear him open the nightstand drawer, and I try to unlock my phone to type out a quick response. I get out the words I’m fine before I feel Chris’s cock push into me from behind.

  “Ahh!” I cry out, both surprised by the intrusion, and enjoying it just the same.

  I hit send, and Chris grabs my waist and thrusts deep inside. He slams into me over and over, his fingers digging into my hips. The sex is rougher this time, but I love it.

  My phone goes off in front of me.

  Aaron.

  The message pops up on the screen, allowing me to see his response.

  Aaron: Are you sure? Where are you?

  I squeeze my eyes shut and tighten my fists around the comforter. Chris’s cock feels too good to think about anything else.

  “Oh, god,” I moan. “Yes.”

  I hear Chris grunt and then feel his chest touch my back as he leans over me. He grabs the hair at the base of my neck and pulls my head up.

  “You like how I fuck you?”

  “Yes. God, yes. It’s so good.” My voice is thick with need.

  The phone rings. I ignore it, but it only continues to ring.

  “Answer it,” he demands.

  “No,” I grunt as he slams into me again. “I don’t want to.”

  He slows his movements, teasing me with long, steady strokes. “I want you to.” His voice is gruff. “Tell him whatever you need to tell him, so I don’t have to hear that damn thing go off again.”

  I try to push myself back onto his cock, but he keeps control. Hurriedly, I grab the phone and begin typing my response when it rings in my hand. Goddammit.

  Chris pulls out of me completely, his head moving to the crook of my neck and his mouth to my ear.

  “Answer it, Aria. I like knowing I’m the one giving you what you want while he’s on the phone. I’m the one making you wet. It’s my cock that’s inside of you. You want me, not him. Answer it.”

  My chest heaves with deep breaths. The need to feel him inside of me is too strong. His words send a thrill up my spine. Part of me wonders if this is a test. Should I still refuse to answer Aaron’s call? Or does he truly want to get off on the fact that I’m talking to my husband while he fucks me? The thought of it actually does excite me, and I know it’s wrong. It’s so fucking wrong. But I can’t find it in me to care.

  A message lights up my screen, and this time he’s threatening to call Janna to make sure I’m okay.

  Chris plays with my clit before pushing two fingers inside of me. I moan, burying my face in the covers, wanting to forget everything except what he’s doing to me.

  “You better call him,” he says, and I realize he saw the last message since he was leaning over me.

  I look over my shoulder and make eye contact with him. He gives me a slight nod, and nothing in his face tells me he’s going to be angry if I do. I make the call, knowing that if I don’t, Aaron calling Janna will get me caught up in a bigger mess.

  As soon as the phone’s to my ear, Chris disappears behind me and I feel the tip of his tongue lick me from my clit to my entrance, pushing in as far as he can. I gasp as soon as Aaron answers the phone.

  “Jesus, Aria. What the hell?” His voice is tight.

  “Hey,” I breathe, trying to sound normal as Chris eats my pussy with perfection. “Sorry. I’m fine. I’m just out with Jan. You know it’s hard to hear the phone in these clubs.”

  Chris’s mouth vanishes, but it’s soon replaced with his rock hard erection. He’s quiet as he slowly pushes in each inch. My mouth drops open in a silent gasp and my fingers tighten around the phone.

  “I don’t hear any music now,” Aaron points out.

  “Yeah. I went outside.”

  Chris picks up the pace, and his hand comes around with his fingers finding a place on my clit. He rubs circles as he penetrates me, giving me double the pleasure at the same time. I don’t think I’ll be able to stay quiet much longer.

  “Well, can you be more considerate next time? Jesus Christ.”

  My annoyance flares, because since when has he been considerate? He’s stayed out numerous times, never telling me that he’ll be home late, or won’t be home for dinner. I just can’t argue with him right now to point out his hypocrisy.

  “I’m just following your lead,” I say through clenched teeth, unable to keep completely quiet about it.

  I hear him mutter something under his breath. “I’m pulling up to Elijah’s now. I’ll probably be out late, just so you know.”

  My orgasm hits me like a freight train. “Yeah,” I reply to Aaron, but I hang up and throw the phone as my yeah stretches out, filling the room. “Yeah, yeah. Oh fuck. Chris!” I scream.

  With both hands gripping the sides of my ass, he slams into me continuously. My body is greedy for his, and his body is hungry for mine.

  “Fuck, Aria. I love hearing you scream my name. You want me, baby?”

  “Yes, Chris. Yes, I want you. Come. Let me feel it.”

  With a quickness, he pulls out, flips me over, and then climbs between my legs again.

  “I want to see you,” he says, huskily.

  Our eyes meet as he thrusts deep inside of me. The look on his face is more than just lust, but before I can decipher it too much, his body goes rigid, and his eyes close.

  “Yes, Chris. I want to feel it,” I tell him, spurring him on.

  “Fuck,” he growls, his deep voice bellowing through the room. “God.” He grunts and groans, emptying himself inside me.

  After we disengage and he rids himself of the condom, we lie together, limbs tangled and breath labored.

  I don’t say anything right away, because now that our passionate moment is over, the reality of what happened comes crashing into me. I talked to my husband while being fucked by my . . . lover? Is that what he is? What the hell was I thinking? Well, I wasn’t. I was in a sex daze, wanting and needing onl
y Chris, and not caring or thinking about anything else. I was at his mercy, and happily so.

  So many thoughts run through my head, and I know I have a lot of decisions to make soon. The worry must show on my face, because Chris wraps me in his arms, bringing me into his chest.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks, his voice gentle. “Are you okay?”

  I nod at first, looking for words. “I’m fine.”

  “Talk to me, Aria.”

  “I just have a lot of thinking to do,” I answer honestly.

  “Are you upset by what happened?” he questions, and I know he’s talking about the phone call.

  “No, I’m not, and I know I should be. I should be bothered by a lot, but I’m not, and that’s what I need to think about.”

  “What do you mean?” he asks, running his fingers up and down my arm.

  “Talking to my husband while I’m being fucked by someone else? That’s fucked up, and I know most people would be bothered or disgusted by that behavior, but I was turned on. I only thought about you being inside of me and making me come. If I don’t care . . . what does that mean? You know?”

  I ask him, but I already know. I questioned whether Aaron was indifferent towards me and my actions, but I feel like I’m in that place now. I no longer care, because I’ve been hurt too many times. I’ve been lied to repeatedly. I don’t care about hurting him, because he’s wounded me beyond repair. There’s nothing he can do to make me feel better. Nothing will make me want to stay married to him. I’m done.

  “Well,” he clears his throat, “I’m not sure it’s my place to say what I think it means. I don’t want you to feel like I’m putting thoughts in your head. However, I will apologize for letting my jealousy and anger get to me. I was mad that you were texting him. I was upset that he was interrupting our night together, and all I wanted was to make sure you knew that I wasn’t about to back down. I needed you to know that regardless of him, I’m here, and I’m here to show you that I want you. I only wanted thoughts of me to go through your head. I was being selfish when I have no right to be. I’m sorry.”

  I tilt my head to look up at him. “Is it weird that I want you to be selfish?”

  He smirks. “No. It’s not weird.”

  “Chris,” I say on a sigh, lying my cheek against his chest. “I meant what I said earlier.”

  “What’s that?” he asks in a gentle voice.

  “Remember what you asked me?”

  Several seconds tick by while he tries to remember. “Oh. If you want me?”

  I swallow a lump in my throat. “It’s true. That wasn’t just a moment of passion speaking for me.”

  He kisses the top of my head. “I hope you know how much I want you.”

  “I think I do,” I say with a small giggle. “I’m going to get everything straightened out. I promise.”

  “Hey,” he coos. “Don’t do this for me. I hope you’re moving forward with your plans because it’s what you want to do, and not because I showed up. I want to be with you, Aria. I’ve loved getting to know you, hanging out with you, working with you, all of it. You’re an amazing woman, and we get along like we’ve known each other for years. I know that’s rare. I definitely want to see where you and I can go, but I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressuring you.”

  “I know, and I don’t feel that way. I’m happy to have met and gotten to know you, but whether you showed up in Alaska or not, I’d still have the same marriage problems, and I’d still be trying to find my way out. I just don’t want to keep hiding things. From anybody.”

  “I understand.”

  We’re quiet for a little bit, letting everything sink in. I don’t want there to be a damper on the rest of our time together, because I know I’ll have to leave soon, so I decide to change the subject.

  “So, tell me, Dr. Callahan. How old are you?”

  His chest rumbles with a deep chuckle. “What was your guess before?”

  “Thirty-one. Am I right?”

  “What if you find that I’m too old for you?”

  I snort. “You don’t look old, and even if you happen to be fifty, I’ll be fine with it. You perform damn good for an old guy.”

  His laugh booms through the room. “Thanks, I guess. Anyway, I’m thirty-four, coming up on thirty-five.”

  “I wasn’t too far off. When’s your birthday?”

  “November fifteenth. How about you?”

  “I’m twenty-eight, and my birthday is March twenty-eighth.”

  “Oh, so you just had a birthday about four months ago.”

  “Yep.”

  “What did you do to celebrate?”

  “It was a weekday, but Scott made sure I had the day off. Me and my girlfriends went and had a spa treatment, then went out to lunch. Carmen had to leave, so me and Janna ended up doing a little shopping at the mall before I went back home. Both of them had to work that night, so I stayed in and ate some ice cream cake until I felt like I was going to explode.”

  “Well, at least you had cake.”

  “It was delicious.”

  “But it didn’t have anything on tonight’s dessert, right?” he asks playfully.

  “Definitely not,” I answer with a laugh.

  We cuddle, absentmindedly caressing each other, enjoying the closeness. I wish I didn’t have to leave.

  “I wish you could stay,” he says, mimicking my thoughts.

  “I was just thinking the same thing.”

  “We’ll get there,” he says, trying to reassure the both of us.

  We lie together and talk for another half an hour before I get up and start getting ready to leave. I have to gather all of my belongings and throw them in the bag, but I put my dress and heels back on since I was supposed to have been at the club tonight. I doubt Aaron will be home when I get there, but you never know.

  “I had so much fun with you today,” he says, pulling me into a hug. “I’ll never forget it.”

  “I loved today, too. Thank you for everything.”

  “Anytime, sweetheart,” he replies, kissing my temple and making me swoon in the process.

  “I’ll text you later,” I tell him.

  “Please do.”

  We kiss several more times, never wanting the last one to be the last one. I finally make myself step outside and get into my car. On the way home, I tell myself it’s time to just end things with Aaron. I don’t want to be married to him anymore, and if I tell him about what I know he’s been keeping from me, and he still says we need to work it out, maybe I’ll have to confess about my time with Chris. Would he still be so willing to work it out, then? I don’t know. I just need to break free.

  I sleep in on Sunday, not waking up until eleven o’clock. My body’s exhausted, and my mind almost just as tired from all the wheels turning within it. I hop into the shower, and while inside, Aaron walks in. I don’t know what time he came home, but I didn’t fall asleep until after one in the morning and he wasn’t home then.

  “I have to go,” he says, sounding annoyed.

  “Uh. Okay.”

  He leaves without another word, shutting the door behind him. I quickly finish up my shower, and once I put on a pair of shorts and loose t-shirt, I grab my computer and start looking for a place to live.

  After searching for fifteen minutes, I come across something that seems perfect. It’s a two bedroom condo with a heated garage. That’s majorly important in the winter. I’m losing more than double the square footage, but I don’t need anything as big as this house, anyway. The kitchen’s been upgraded, there’s two living areas—both upstairs and downstairs—and I’d have a wood-burning fireplace. It’s also a bit closer to my job, but it’s only twenty minutes away from where I live now.

  I send a message to the owner, inquiring on a good time to go by and look at it. Feeling somewhat accomplished, I decide that tonight’s the night I’m going to have to talk to Aaron. I can’t put it off any longer.

  My phone chimes with a message from Chris and m
y heart sings a glorious tune.

  Dr. C: I can’t stop thinking about last night.

  The glorious tune becomes an upbeat dance song as my heart speeds up, and my giddiness takes over.

  Me: Me either. I dreamt of you.

  Dr. C: Was I in my lab coat?

  Me: Haha. No. That was another dream. In this one, you didn’t have a stitch of clothing on.

  Dr. C: Even better.

  Me: Guess what? I found a condo. I just need to hear back from the manager so I can go look.

  Dr. C: Can I call you?

  Me: Yes.

  My phone rings almost immediately.

  “Good afternoon, Dr. Callahan,” I answer in my most seductive voice.

  “Mm. Good afternoon. How did you sleep?”

  “Exceptionally well. I slept longer than I have in a while. How about you?”

  “Once I was able to stop thinking about you, I slept well, too.”

  “Aww,” I say behind a giggle.

  “So. You found a place, huh?”

  “I think so. It looks really nice online, but I need to check it out in person. Hopefully not too many others have inquired yet. It was a fairly new listing.”

  “What . . . uhh, I mean when do you . . .” he stammers, unsure of what to say, but I know what he’s trying to ask.

  “When will I try to move in?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m not sure. I don’t want to get my hopes up yet, but as soon as it’s available, I hope. I’m talking to him tonight.”

  I refuse to use Aaron’s name. It feels uncomfortable to do so.

  “Oh yeah?” he asks, sounding surprised.

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, good luck. Please let me know how everything goes. If you need me to get you, you know I will. You can stay here if you need to.”

  “Thank you,” I reply with a smile. “I appreciate that.”

  I get an email alert at the same time that I get a text message notification. I glance at my computer first and see it’s a response from the condo owner, asking me to call him.

  “Oh, Chris,” I say excitedly. “I just received a response from the owner of the condo. He wants me to call him.”

  “Okay. Keep me updated.”