by Honeymoon Their Way [Dreamspinner, States of Love MM] (retail) (epub)
She offered him a bright smile, and Chad had to admit that he was grateful for Raudel’s charms in terms of how they helped ease some of his mom’s stress. The memory of all the little things that had originally warmed him up to Raudel filtered back. Even for a horny fifteen-year-old boy, he’d been able to see past Raudel’s outward beauty enough to realize that there was a lot more to him inside. Something real. Someone worth getting to know. And one moment of stupidity had forever destroyed any chance of that happening.
“It’s no trouble at all, Mrs.—” Raudel cleared his throat. “—Kate.”
Chad watched in wonderment as a deep scarlet bloomed in Raudel’s cheeks. He hadn’t known that self-assured Raudel was even capable of being embarrassed.
“That’s better.” Chad’s mother turned to him. “Oh, I forgot to add propane to the list. We’ll need it for the barbecue on Wednesday. The small canisters are fine. We brought two portable grills. One for meat and one for veggies.”
Chad frowned. It appeared that every moment of every day had been carefully planned out. Any attempts at evading enforced socializing would likely be thwarted by his mother’s megascheduling. “We’re having a barbecue on Wednesday?”
His mom huffed. “Didn’t you look over the itinerary, Chad?”
Itinerary? She was insane.
“Oh, I have mine with me, Mrs. Kate. I can go over it with Chad.”
“It’s just Kate, Raudel. No Mrs.”
The blush made a reappearance, crawling its way up Raudel’s neck and into his face again. “Of course. I’ll admit, it’s going to take me a while to get used to it.” He let out a light laugh, and Chad went back to being amazed at Raudel’s ability to be charming even while being embarrassed. He had skills.
Raudel turned to him, and his gaze locked on Chad’s. The heat under his own skin meant that Raudel wasn’t the only one sporting a blush. “Well, Chad. Ready?”
No. No I am not. “Sure. Better get this over with—uh, get going.”
His mom’s scowl hadn’t lessened in the slightest while regarding him. She’d been all smiles for Raudel. Chad maintained that he had the right to be petulant and childish. After the week with Raudel was over, he’d probably have to disappear into the wilderness and live off the land to escape the specter of his own humiliation. Eventually he’d descend into madness and be freed from the memory of his original downfall.
At the ghost of Raudel’s fingertips at his elbow, Chad started.
Raudel glanced at his mom. “Then let’s go. Do you need us back by any particular time? It may take a while to locate a place with a fountain. I haven’t been to Tahoe since high school and wasn’t paying attention to anything like that back then.”
If Raudel didn’t stop chuckling as though everything was so wonderful, Chad thought he might start screaming.
“No, I don’t think so. The girls probably won’t be back until eight or nine. They said they’d grab dinner in town after they’d finished shopping. I brought some sandwiches in the cooler, so that’ll be fine for Grandma and us. You boys go on and have a good time.”
Good time? God help me.
She frowned. “But don’t bring the fountain into the house when you get back. We can sneak it in after she’s gone to sleep.”
Chad couldn’t remember when his mom had turned into a secret agent, but he imagined it had formed naturally as a result of protecting herself from Lindsey’s Jekyll-and-Hyde behavior.
“Okay. Then we’ll get something to eat while we’re in town as well. See you later, Kate.”
His mom pointed a finger at Raudel, a big grin on her face. “See? Calling me Kate wasn’t so bad. I’ll see you boys later.” She waved them off, then headed back into the house.
Alone at last. Chad almost groaned out loud.
He lowered his head, picked up a portion of the fountain debris, then marched straight for Raudel’s Honda Civic. It was black and appeared well maintained. Only a very fine coating of dust from the drive down the forest road and some pine pollen from parking so close to the tree had marred the surface of the shiny car. Chad paused when he reached the trunk, ready to help Raudel load the mess.
But what are we going to talk about once I’m trapped with him in the car? Maybe I can keep the conversation going, never give him a chance to speak. Yeah. That could work.
“Just set that down, and I’ll take care of it. You can wait for me in the car, get off your feet. I want to rearrange a few things in here anyway.”
Chad let out a nervous chuckle again. “But I’m the one who ruined it. I should help.”
Raudel patted his upper back and Chad’s bastard of a dick twitched in his jeans. “Go on, Chad. I’ll just be a minute.” He nodded shakily, then took a couple of steps before reaching for the handle of the passenger door. Raudel beat him to it. “Let me.”
Chad wouldn’t meet his gaze, but he mumbled out a thank-you. He was still convinced that Raudel was buttering him up for the kill.
The door squeaked open, and Chad only tripped a little as he climbed inside before seating himself. Raudel leaned past him as he deposited the messenger bag in the backseat, his body pressing briefly against Chad’s side. Once he straightened, Raudel shut him in, and Chad wiped at the sweat that had been building at his hairline. Considering that the air was pretty crisp, his nerves had done an excellent job of bringing it forth.
Shit. He hadn’t thought to bring a jacket for when it got cooler later.
Chad twisted his fingers together, then tried to still them. He had to make plausible topics of conversation materialize, and he only had seconds to work with. Raudel slammed the trunk and Chad yelped. He ran a hand across the top of his mussed-up hair, removing more sweat while simultaneously wondering how much worse he’d made it look.
Raudel opened the driver’s side door, and as he entered the car, Chad had a flash of brilliance.
Maybe I can use not having my hoodie as a pretext to go back inside. Then I can run through the house to the backyard, jump off the pier into the lake, and swim to freedom. Or hide in the attic.
If nothing else, it would give him a few more minutes to gather his wits.
He had sucked in a breath of air to tell Raudel he’d be right back, when Raudel met his eyes. Chad snapped his jaw shut and settled back in the passenger seat, clutching the seat-belt strap as if it could somehow save him. He would never survive the day.
Raudel cleared his throat. “I….” Chad grimaced, his body tensing the way it did when he was at the top of the large drop of a roller coaster. “Well.” Raudel gave a shaky laugh. “I guess we should get going.”
Chad almost groaned in relief while still acknowledging that Raudel could strike at any moment.
Raudel switched on the engine. Chad immediately stared out the window on the passenger side as if the myriad of nearly identical trees was the most fascinating thing he’d ever seen.
They bounced and jostled down the dirt road, which eventually led them to the main highway. The biggest, most awkward silence of Chad’s young life stretched out. He didn’t think it was too far into town. On the drive up, his mother had informed him that it would be easy enough to go back and forth without too much trouble.
Raudel cleared his throat again. “So. What have you been up to since high school?”
Chad squirmed in his seat. “Oh… this and that. Working.” Making two dollars above minimum wage. Doing my mom’s shopping. Duct-taping furniture together.
“Yeah? Cool.”
Another silence. Chad went back to looking out of the window, gauging what his chances of survival would be if he leapt from the car.
Get him talking about himself before he decides to talk about anything else. “Lindsey says you’re about to graduate.”
“Yeah.” Raudel seemed to grip the steering wheel tighter, the muscles in his jaw working hard as he stared straight ahead.
Well, that was enlightening. “How’re your folks?”
“Doing good.” Raudel paused,
ran a hand through his thick hair, then placed it back on the steering wheel, the grip of death returning. “Your mom looks good too.”
Chad snorted. Oops.
Raudel glanced his way before returning his gaze to the road. “She’s not all right?”
“Not since Lindsey’s wedding morphed into the event of the century.”
Raudel chuckled, and Chad resisted the urge to look his way or add to his statement.
No need to get too comfortable conversing. Don’t want him relaxed enough to bring up more delicate topics.
“Yeah. My mom was the same way with my sisters. It’ll all work out. Then everything will go back to normal.”
“Thank God.”
“What about you, Chad?” Raudel’s voice softened. “Seeing anyone?”
Holy hell. Chad swallowed hard, the synapses in his brain firing off like rockets as he struggled to find a nonloser way of answering Raudel’s question.
“Sorry. That’s none of my business.” There was a tinge of melancholy to Raudel’s voice.
“I’m not seeing anyone.” Chad’s mouth blurted it out before his mind could analyze the response from all angles.
“Oh.” Raudel sounded oddly hopeful.
Don’t. He wasn’t going to add meaning to anything Raudel said. Not when there was still the “thing that must not be referred to” looming over him.
Raudel cleared his throat. “Me neither.”
The sweat on Chad’s forehead that he thought he’d wiped away earlier was back with a vengeance. “Sorry.”
Raudel shrugged. “It’s fine. I’m at the point now where I only want to be with someone if it could end up being the real thing.”
Chad’s stomach clenched. “Oh.”
Thankfully the subject of their nonrelationship status seemed to have come to a conclusion, so Chad dug his phone out from his pants pocket. As they sped by the lake, he drank in the sight of the water reflecting the gorgeous blue of the sky. He had to admit that it really was beautiful. The cluster of buildings that made up the town of Lake Tahoe drew closer, and it occurred to him that they still had no real clue where they were going.
“Want me to google some party stores?”
Raudel appeared to jolt out of some reverie. “Oh yeah. Good idea.”
If Chad was lucky, they could concentrate their remaining chitchat on wedding- and grocery-related topics. He soon had a couple of options: the one with the word emporium in its name seemed to be the most likely candidate for multiple chocolate fountain choices.
“Got one. Hold up. It’s trying to locate us.” Chad held the phone up to the window. He had no idea if it made a damn bit of difference, but he always went with it. “Okay, the blue arrow is pointing straight ahead.”
The next few minutes were taken up with Chad navigating them until they turned off the main drag. They landed in the practically empty parking lot of a building the size of some small islands in the South Pacific. An air-dancing tube clown wiggled and flapped from atop the two-story structure, the deranged expression of the balloon’s circus character the stuff of young children’s nightmares. If the Party Planner Emporium didn’t have a chocolate fountain, no one would.
Raudel pulled up close to the front entrance, then shut off the engine. For reasons Chad couldn’t name, the loss of the sound of the car, the motion, the feel of it beneath him made being alone with Raudel much more difficult. Almost as if the Honda had been a buffer between them.
Fountain. No thinking. Stay on task.
His mom had given him a lot of useful advice over the years that he’d largely ignored. But there was no time like the present to finally embrace it.
Raudel angled his body toward Chad, his demeanor that of someone who was about to speak on an important subject.
Nope. Chad hastily scrambled from the car. Don’t need to get into any chats about high school antics.
He’d have to remain alert. Avoid any moments that might afford Raudel the chance to talk with him privately.
The chirp of the car alarm was quickly followed by the sound of Raudel’s footsteps.
Chad rushed into the store, then froze. Raudel halted next to him, similarly pasted to the floor. The woman behind the long glass showcase counter had jerked her head up at the noise of the door chime, her visage bizarre and frightening enough that Chad wondered if she was dressed in a Halloween costume.
Except that it’s April.
A thick white powder covered her skin, almost as if she’d woken up that morning and decided she should look like a geisha doll. The rest of her heavily made-up face appeared petrified. Her wide-eyed stare was only slightly less disturbing than her large, painted-on eyebrows, which were raised almost to her hairline. Her silver-streaked, black-helmet hair gave the impression that an F5 tornado wouldn’t dislodge even one strand, and some sort of pink, fur-like scarf was wrapped around her neck multiple times as if she were being strangled by a fuzzy boa constrictor. She still hadn’t said anything, and Chad was too petrified to speak.
Raudel took one for the team. “Do you carry chocolate fountains?”
Chad widened his eyes, his jaw going slack as she spoke without her lips moving.
“Rent or buy?”
Botox is not this woman’s friend.
“Buy.” Raudel turned to him. “Right?”
“Uh….” She wasn’t a train wreck. More of a fiery plane crash.
“Chad?”
“Huh? Oh! Yes. Buy.”
She pointed to the rear of the building with one finger, its long, sharpened claw leading the charge.
Raudel gave her a warm smile. “Thank you, ma’am.”
Chad had to admit he was impressed. He was still trying to wipe what he was sure was a look of horror off his face.
She didn’t react to Raudel’s smile but simply kept staring. Chad could sense the hatred pouring off her. He wasn’t sure whether it was because of her job at a crappy, run-down, cheap party place, or that she hated all of humanity because she’d worked the past fifty years at a crappy, run-down, cheap party place.
A vision of his future flashed before his eyes. Only it was yogurt replacing the paper streamers and white folding chairs. “Oh God.”
“Come on. Let’s see what they—Chad? Are you all right?”
Chad jerked his head toward Raudel. “Do you think it’s too late?” He had to get a grip. He was only twenty-two, for chrissakes.
Raudel furrowed his brow. “Your mom said not to worry about getting back until later.” He laughed, his beautiful eyes shining back at Chad. “Besides, we just left the house about thirty minutes ago.”
Chad nodded, giving himself a mental shake. “Yeah. Silly me.”
Raudel indicated for him to go ahead. “Shall we?”
Chad forced himself to move forward even though his legs weren’t interested.
They traversed the gaudy displays and hodgepodge aisles filled with old, sad silk flower arrangements, outdated karaoke machines that featured the use of cassette tapes, and other elements that boasted of parties from a bygone era.
They halted when they reached a white lattice-board archway. Beyond it lay all the large shit the store couldn’t shove onto the expanse of dented metal racks. Everything from Greek-style columns to banquet table setups graced the fake turf that made up the rear of the warehouse. At one side was their Holy Grail—fountains. They were both drawn to them at the same time.
Chad sucked in a sharp breath when he glanced at the first price tag. I’ll be working at the yogurt shop until I’m a hundred and seven to pay back Mom for this. Primarily due to the fact that five dollars a week was the amount of his disposable income.
He shuffled over to a less gargantuan and ornate one.
“Chad?”
He glanced at Raudel who’d shuffled right along with him. Chad did one more shuffle as Raudel creeped up on him a bit too close. He struggled to keep his breathing even.
Never show your fear when facing the enemy.
The t
ask at hand had temporarily allowed him to push aside the harsh reality that he was still at risk of being humiliated by Raudel.
Chad’s nemesis spoke up. “I just want you to know how glad I am that I was able to make this trip.”
He waited for Raudel to continue, but all he did was stare, a slight tug at the corner of his mouth.
Chad swallowed hard, his mouth too dry to ease the way. “Uh.” He croaked it out. “Yeah. Lindsey was superexcited that you could make it.” He licked his bottom lip to moisten it.
Raudel glanced down, then back up again so quickly Chad wondered if he’d hallucinated the whole thing.
“It’ll be great to see her again. But I’m very happy that you’re here too, Chad.”
To have your chance to mock me? The heat that bloomed in Chad’s face had to be turning his white skin scarlet. He was infuriated that blushes came so easily to him, and on top of that, were so pronounced.
Raudel smiled wide in what Chad imagined was victory. He snapped his head forward and snatched up another price tag.
Shit. I’m fucked all the way around. He dropped the tag, then crossed his arms angrily.
A long pause followed, and Chad shifted uncomfortably on his feet. His curiosity got the better of him, and he stole a glance at Raudel. Chad widened his eyes at Raudel’s expression. Raudel appeared to be contemplating whether or not he should say something.
Oh God. This is it.
“Chad, I don’t know how to say this.” Raudel furrowed his brow.
Time to man up. No avoiding it now. “Look, this wedding is very important to Lindsey. I mean, really, really important. Whatever happens between you and me could potentially ruin her day, and since you’re her best friend, I’m hoping that you’ll take that into consideration before—” Chad swallowed hard. “—you know.”
Raudel arched his eyebrows. “I know?”
Chad looked away. The moment had arrived; the bringer of doom stood right next to him with Chad pleading for mercy, yet all he could think about was how much he wished it had all been different. That it still could be different. But there’d never been a chance, and there never would be. In a mortifying move, tears burned at the back of his eyes, threatening to spill over.