Summer I Found You

by Jolene Perry

  I can feel his pulse quicken, and his eyes are almost wary as he watches me. Maybe he’s worried about what I’ll think. What I see.

  “Is it…?” He shakes his head once, and I’m realizing that Aidan does head-shakes like my dad does breathe-outs. This one makes him seem uncertain. “Is my arm weird? I mean. Is it—?”

  “It’s fine. Good.” I’m not making sense, and I don’t mean to, but my fingers are on him, tracing the scarring, wondering what it would be like to be part of something so insane. So real.

  “How did it happen?” The words just come out.

  “Walking on perimeter patrol. Doing nothing. They hid it well. Pilot took the worst of it.” His voice is quieter than a whisper.

  “What happened to him?” And again, once the words are out I realize how stupid I am for asking him.

  “Torn apart. They couldn’t put him back together. He was my sergeant.”

  I don’t know what it means for Pilot to be his sergeant, but it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that he was next to someone who died. I rest my two hands on his bare shoulder and see the sadness—though that word doesn’t begin to describe what’s on his face. “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too.” His fingers start to trace around on my shoulder and arm, sending shivers through me.

  I lean forward and kiss his shoulder, as close to the scarring as I dare because I’m part uncomfortable, and I think he is too. My lips touch the red marks on his collarbone, and then his neck, and then without thinking I pull my shirt over my head and drop it to the floor. It should be dark enough to hide any tiny bits of bruising from my shots.

  Now I’m sitting here. Bra. No shirt. In front of Aidan, and I’m not nervous at all. Okay. I’m terrified, but I want it way more than I’m scared. He seems a lot more exposed than I feel—the stump of his arm so visible. His experiences hanging between us.

  His eyes are on mine. “Are you sure you—?”

  “I felt overdressed.” I try to make my voice teasing, but this is all too close for that, and I’m sure made me sound weird.

  “Maybe I’ll drop my pants next.” His voice is uncertain, but there’s a hint of question.

  “Maybe I’ll drop mine,” I say completely breathless. Okay, so there are definitely nerves, but I trust him. I think about what he shared with me on our walk, and how I feel when we touch. Now I’m thinking how much better this is because we didn’t plan it or anything. We’re here, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to happen.

  His hand cups my face and he gently brings our foreheads together. “The second you say pause, we pause or we stop.”

  No, no. This isn’t right. I want him to treat me like anyone. “Why are you being so careful with me?”

  “Because I like you. A lot. And because both my mom and Foster really like you and gave me a lecture on being nice, and—”

  I cut him off with my lips and pull him on top of me. No one else needs to be in this room but us. Fire races through me as our skin connects. I can stop this, at any point I can stop this, but as we continue to kiss, and my body continues to crave more of him, I wonder why on earth I’d want to stop anything.

  “I’ve never done this with one arm. I mean, I might need some help,” he whispers between kisses.

  I help him with his pants and he chuckles this nervous little chuckle because he can obviously dress himself, and I let out a nervous laugh because I’ve never let someone see me naked before. Not even in the dark. And definitely not for something like this.

  And we’re both frantic, but absorbing every moment all at the same time. His fingers trace every curve, every part of me. He touches me until my body half explodes and I feel flattened and high in something incredible I didn’t used to understand.

  As I lie next to him still gasping for air, he fumbles with a condom until I find the guts to reach out and help, and touch him and we’re actually going to do this, and I still want it and his weight’s on me again, and there’s pressure, but he’s slow, and I still don’t want to pause and then his hips are rocking against mine and I never, ever, ever want our night to stop ever.

  In what could be hours or minutes or days I’m resting in the crook of his arm, exhausted, sweaty, and a bit in disbelief. My toes touch the top of his feet, and our knees are close, but not exact. Our legs tangle together, and the hair on his legs touches mine, but it feels good, manly, and his abs and chest. I love his abs and chest, and I can’t stop my fingers from tracing the contours over and over.

  “Join me in the shower?” he asks as his fingertips slide up my spine spreading goose bumps over my skin.

  I feel the blush creeping in and can’t look at him.

  “You’re seriously blushing about rinsing off after that?” he chuckles as he runs his hand through my hair.

  “I’ll wait here.” I need to do a quick blood sugar check anyway.

  He kisses me again, rolls over, and walks to his bathroom without a stitch of clothing on. And yes. I stare. Wow. I just had sex with Aidan Connelly. Talk about best distraction ever.

  16

  Aidan Connelly

  THE HOT SHOWER PELTS my body. I can’t believe I just had sex with Kate. How does this fit in with Foster and my mother’s warning? And Jen’s? Well. And my own.

  It was her idea, though. Not mine. I didn’t take pants off. And it was easily the best ever for me—though doing it on a cot or in a bathroom while rushing isn’t exactly recommended. The lack of room…of time…I dry off and can’t wrap my towel around my waist with only one arm. The right side falls down before I can tuck. Hell.

  My hips swing around trying to get both sides of the towel in one hand, and even though I’m alone, I’m starting to feel a bit ridiculous. Nope. It was one thing to walk away from her naked, but it feels different to walk back into the room while flopping around. I lean against the sink to hold one side of the towel, while I tuck the other side back in the front. I slowly lean away and the towel…stays. Victory.

  When I open the door, Kate’s lying on her stomach in one of my white T-shirts and her panties making my heart race again because she’s here. She’s so beautiful. Slim, long legs, sweet smile, and she still looks almost embarrassed, but she’s also staring at me in the way I love.

  Instead of heading to my dresser for pajamas or at least boxers, I kneel down next to my bed, putting our faces close together.

  “Thank you. I mean, that seems like a really weird thing to say, but I feel amazing.”

  Her eyes glance down. “Me too.”

  I touch her chin until she meets my eyes again with pink cheeks, and then I kiss her. This is real. This is all so real, but it’s really, really good. She is definitely more than a distraction. Or starting to be. Or since we had sex, maybe we’re way past distraction. I’m not sure how this works. “I’m glad you don’t have to leave.”

  “Me too.”

  I slide on a pair of pajama pants, glad I have practice with one hand, and see her watching me again out of the corner of my eye. It’s good to have a pretty girl watching me like this. I climb back in with her, use my arm to bring us together, and fall asleep harder and faster than I have in a long time.

  Kate stirs next to me at sometime around seven in the morning. I grab her waist and pull her closer. “Where do you think you’re going?” I whisper.

  “Trust me. Foster always does an early morning check.”

  “Oh.” I pull my arm back. “Do you wanna stay in here, and I’ll go…” I feel a bit like a jerk if I make her sleep on the couch.

  “Definitely not. Jen’s crashed out there, so I’m going to join her. I think that’s what he’s sort of expecting.”

  I rest my hand on her neck, lean in, and kiss her cheek. She pushes on my chest, keeping me in bed as she stands. She grins as she picks up her monster bag, and steps out of the room. I crash again.

  I stumble into the house around eleven. Kate was gone when I woke up, but my pillow smelled like her, which made me remember our night, her lean body
underneath me, and that was a nice way to wake up.

  “Where’s Kate?” I ask Jen as I step inside.

  “Her sister’s husband came back into town today. She had to run home.” There’s a tinge of annoyance to her voice that I’m trying to ignore.

  “Oh.” I rub my hand up and down my face a few times to wipe away some of the sleep when my cell phone rings. I answer without thinking.

  “Hello?”

  “Where the fuck are you, Connelly?”

  “Rob?”

  “Who the hell else would it be?”

  “I…” Confused doesn’t even begin to describe.

  “You sound like you partied harder than we did last night!”

  “You’re home?” Which is a stupid question seeing as he’s calling me during the day and said something about partying.

  “Got in yesterday morning. Looked for you everywhere. I can’t figure out how the hell you didn’t make it.”

  “Shit. Sorry. I’m behind on email.” My body still feels all relaxed after my night last night.

  “Come up, Con.” And I know by his voice that he’d never admit it but it was an asshole thing of me to not show. He’s been my friend for too long for me to not be there.

  “Yeah. I will. For sure.”

  Jen’s scowling at me, her arms crossed in front of her. Maybe I should take care of this.

  “I’ll call you later.”

  “Later like next month later? Or later as in today?” He’s teasing, but there’s irritation in there too. I can’t really blame him. I’ve never brushed him off before. Not like I have been.

  “You sound like a woman. Later today.”

  I hang up, my eyes still on Jen’s.

  “What’s up?” I ask only I probably don’t want to know.

  “You guys had sex last night?” Jen raises a brow. Her jaw is clenched and her arms are crossed. A sure sign that I’ve messed up.

  “Uh…” I look around. This is not something I want her parents in on.

  “They’re gone,” she snaps.

  “Yeah, what…” I’m lost here.

  “You need to do something for her. I can’t believe you slept this morning! You should have been like, making breakfast or something! Snuggling with her on the couch! I don’t know.”

  I have no idea what to do with this attack. I don’t know Jen well enough to yell back, but I’m starting to wish I did. This is none of her damn business. None.

  Her brows are practically touching her hairline. “I mean, you know it was her first, right?”

  I’m sort of stunned. “No. No way.”

  “Trust me, Aidan. I know.” Her voice is deliberate and she’s still staring.

  I have no words. Kate was so forward and so confident that it never even crossed my mind.

  “She didn’t tell you?” Jen’s voice has softened, but only a little. Her shoulders have also fallen, and I’m hoping this means she’s not as pissed as she was a moment ago.

  “No. She didn’t tell me.” My heart’s starting to race. I’m trying to replay everything. Nothing she did or said made me feel like it was her first time. Nothing. Why didn’t she tell me? I mean, I don’t think I would have done anything different, except for maybe I would have gotten out of bed with her this morning and spent some time, or been more careful…. But shit, she told me to stay in bed. Well, actually, I probably would have stopped it. Probably. Maybe. I think about her shirt dropping to the floor. The curve of her body. I’m not sure if I would have stopped it or not.

  Was I careful enough? Now I feel like shit for not asking.

  I shake my head still a bit stunned. And it’s a big deal because I should have known, but not a big deal because it doesn’t matter that much. Mostly it’s confusing the hell out of me that she didn’t say anything.

  “Do you know why she had salad last night instead of pizza?” Jen’s voice is quiet as she stuffs her hands in her pockets.

  My mouth’s drying out. “Because she’s a girl?”

  Jen lets out a breath. “You two need to talk.”

  “That’s what we did. Last night. We left when you had your tongue down Toby’s throat, and we talked.” I felt like we talked for half the night as we walked the neighborhood.

  Jen still looks annoyed, but I don’t think it’s directed at me. “Sorry. I was mad ’cause you were in your room sleeping, and she was practically glowing. You should have been glowing together. And it should have been nauseating to watch.”

  A smile starts to spread even though it won’t help me if Jen’s still pissed. Because I’ve gotta admit, I feel a little proud of the fact Kate came out glowing.

  “I just. Yeah.” She’s not looking at me anymore. She’s looking confused. “When you see Kate, tell her you two need to talk.”

  I nod. Why wouldn’t she tell me? Was she worried about what I’d think knowing she’d never done it before? And she undressed me. My head’s spinning.

  I turn around and decide to eat cold pizza for breakfast. Maybe I’ll head up to see the guys. I’ll call Kate on my way, but first I need to figure out what to say.

  Okay. As soon as I start to dial her number in the car, I realize that this is not the kind of conversation I should be having on the phone. I need to go to Kate’s house.

  Kate answers the door and her smile splits her face when our eyes meet.

  “Hey.” She leans forward and kisses my cheek.

  “Bring him in!” A girl who must be Kate’s sister waves from behind her—similar faces, same brown hair.

  The house is smaller than I expected for Kate’s dad to be a doctor. Foster’s an accountant and lives in a practical mansion.

  Okay. Meeting the parents. The day after having sex with their daughter. This should be…interesting.

  I shake hands with her parents and the sister and the sister’s husband, and it’s all very bizarre and overwhelming and makes what Kate and I did last night make me feel like a bit of a stalker slime ball or something. All I can think over and over is I had sex with your daughter. I had sex with your sister. Over and over and over and over.

  Lane, her sister’s husband, obviously just got there because they’re all in the living room asking him a million questions, and now asking me a million questions, only I’m not ready to answer any of them and I can feel my blood pressure rising, and all I want is to be in my car on the road to see the guys—even if being on post sounds like a shitty way to spend my day.

  I lean into her slightly. “Kate. Can we talk for a sec?”

  Our eyes meet and she smiles way too wide, and leans in way too close, for family company letting her lips touch my ear as she whispers back. “Yeah. Sure.”

  “I’m on my way up to Washington for couple of days.” Will she take my leaving the wrong way?

  “A couple days?” Her brows rise in surprise.

  Her sister gives me a look that says she knows what happened last night and here I am talking about taking off for a few. Great. I’m in too deep here. Way too deep.

  I nod and smile again at the parents before walking toward the front door.

  Kate follows me back to the porch.

  “My unit’s back,” I say as we step outside. “And the guys want me to come up.”

  “Oh.”

  “I wanted to see you before I left.” I’m confused about her not sharing last night, so I don’t know how my voice sounds.

  “What’s the matter?” She reaches out and touches my arm.

  I need to say it. Ask her. “I talked with Jen this morning.”

  “Oh?” Her face looks fake—a fake smile. She’s too still.

  I lower my voice as low as I can. “She said that you’d never…”

  Kate’s cheeks immediately turn red.

  “I didn’t want you to make a big deal, or…” She’s shaking her head and smiling like it isn’t a big deal, only it is. I think.

  “Don’t. Kate.” I step closer. “You should have told me.”

  Her face falls. “I’m
sorry. I hate being treated differently.”

  And I can’t help but understand that.

  “Would you not have? I mean, would you have stopped us?” She’s so close that the heat from her body starts to take over my thought process.

  “I don’t know, Kate. I don’t even know how to answer that question because I shared all that stuff with you, and you didn’t tell me something that seems like pretty important information for what we did last night.” I can’t believe how open I’m being with her now. The old Aidan would have driven away and let it lie. But now that seems wrong, or rude.

  I’m facing her, though. That feels big. Significant. We’re talking.

  “Aidan. I’m sorry.” She swallows once. And again. Her large brown eyes are so filled with worry.

  I pull her into me before I think about it too much. She feels good here. My face rests against the side of her head. “I really need you to be honest with me, okay?”

  “Okay. I promise.”

  “Anything else?” Jen said that we needed to talk, and I’m not sure if this covers it or not. Especially because she’s not feeling as distracting as she normally does. Maybe because this is suddenly almost as complicated as everything else.

  “Nope.”

  I rub my hand up and down her back a few times. “So, I’m headed out.”

  “Yeah. You said. Call me you know, if you want to, or…”

  She feels bad, I can tell by the way her voice is quiet and the way she’s not looking at me.

  I smile because I don’t want her to feel bad. She’s starting to become more than the distraction I was looking for. “Of course I’ll call you.” Oh wait. I pull my phone out. “Picture?” I know this kind of stuff is a big deal to girls.

  She grins. “Yeah.”

  We press our faces close like the pictures I make fun of, and I take the shot. As soon as I pull my arm down, I’m staring at her lips, and I’m not sure who started this, but we’re pressed together. Our lips together. I almost forget we’re on her parents’ porch before I slow the kiss to something that won’t get my ass chewed out by her dad.

  I kiss her cheek twice more, even though I’m still feeling a bit confused about what she does share with me, and after talking to Jen, part of me wonders if there are other things I maybe should know.