Confidentiality

by Jessica Aiken-Hall

  “Yes. It really is. I didn’t spend enough time with her… and now… well… I want to try to make it right.” And there it was. Her driving force. The reason she couldn’t let it rest.

  Tiffany entered the room. “Hi, Val.” She shut the door behind her and walked over to an open seat.

  “Thanks for coming down, Tiff. This is Ginger, Jane’s mom.”

  Tiffany put her hand to her heart. “I’m so sorry for your loss. I was so disappointed to hear she fell back into the drugs… and so quickly.”

  Ginger raised her right eyebrow. “So, you’re the one who talked her into going to rehab?”

  “It was the whole team. She was hard to convince at first. But, with the situation at home, she decided it would be for the best.”

  “Situation at home?” Ginger looked over at me.

  “Was that not something I was supposed to bring up?” Tiffany turned her attention to me, as well.

  “No, share everything you know. Ginger is looking for answers.”

  “Well, when she came to us, she said she didn’t have a safe place to go back to. She said her boyfriend had kicked her out… and was abusive.”

  “And his name?” Ginger spun her head like an owl.

  “Seth. He’s the one Tim told you was listed as Jane’s next of kin.”

  “And where would I find him? Can you tell me where he lives?”

  I looked over at Tiffany, waiting for her to speak up. She did not take her eyes off Ginger. “I don’t know if we can give you that information. It’s confidential.”

  “I’m her mother. All I want is my daughter’s address. If you don’t give it to me, I’ll have my attorney get it. The choice is yours.” The sour expression returned to her face.

  “I’ve got to get back to the floor. It was nice to meet you. I’m so sorry for your loss.” Tiffany stood up and held her hand out to Ginger.

  Ginger nodded her head and as her eyes rolled, she said, “Yeah, it’s been a real pleasure.”

  “Thanks, Tiff.” I waited for her to leave the room. Was it really breaking confidentiality when the patient was dead? Could I risk an attorney getting involved? But, could I risk Ginger meeting Seth? The obvious answer won. “Jane lived at 156 Wildflower Avenue, apartment 3.”

  “And that’s where Seth will be?”

  “As far as I know. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

  “Not yet. I’ll be in touch.” Ginger pushed her chair away from the table and stood up. “You know, I’m not usually a bitch.”

  “Funny, that sounds like something Jane would have said.”

  “You’re a smartass. That must’ve been why Jane liked you.” She nodded her head before walking down the hall.

  “Ginger.” She turned to look at me. “I’m sorry… for your loss.”

  “Thank you for your help… and for helping Jane. It’s comforting to know she had someone like you.”

  Her words hit me like a slap in the face. There was nothing left for me to say. All I can do is wait, and hope Seth cooperates enough to make Ginger go away. For this all to go away.

  Chapter Three

  In all the time I knew Jane, she never once talked about her mom. Her story was always the same… once Carmen died, she was on her own. Where was Ginger when Jane was in the hospital or when she returned from rehab? And, what made her say Carmen was a devil child? Even Jane appeared to love Carmen in her own twisted way. I had thought once Jane was gone, she would be out of my mind. Why was this woman haunting me? Justice for Carmen came on that park bench when Jane lost her life. That was when this was supposed to end. Nothing goes as planned. Murphy’s Law should be the title of my memoir.

  A knock on my door, followed by Tim’s voice took me out of the rabbit hole. “Coming.”

  Tim’s clean-shaven face was still shaded red. I had never seen him angry before. It wasn’t becoming. “Sorry I took off before. That woman is a real…”

  “Witch?”

  “Not what I was thinking, but I guess it works.” His smile softened his face.

  “Why did you let her get to you so much?”

  “Val, she’s trying to blame you, me, anyone she can. I can’t stand people like her. Where was she when Jane needed her? She doesn’t know how much you tried to help Jane. I just hate it when people are such assholes.”

  A weight settled on my chest as I heard his words. “Ginger is a piece of work… but her daughter is dead.”

  “I know, but it’s not like she even cared. Come on, who calls their grandchild the devil? You have to admit it was over the top.”

  “I get it. I guess Jane didn’t fall too far from the tree.” Nervous laughter made its way out of my mouth.

  Tim raised his eyebrows at me. “Ouch. Let them bury the lady before you start cracking jokes.”

  I cleared my throat. “Sorry, … I… ah...”

  “I get it, Val. It’s easier to crack jokes than it is to feel.”

  “Simmer down, Dr. Phil.”

  “What? We haven’t even talked about Jane’s death. It’s like you don’t want to face it. Are you feeling guilty?”

  He knew. How could I have been so stupid? Of course, he knew. He is a detective. There was no way to pull something like this over on him.

  “Val.” His voice pulled me out of my thoughts. “It’s not your fault.”

  “Yes, it is.” My heart was beating so fast I was sure he could hear the echo in the tiny, windowless room.

  “No, it’s not. Jane’s death. It’s not your fault. Even if you wished for her to pay for what she did to Carmen. You are not responsible for her death.”

  He didn’t know. Relief washed over me, but the guilt lingered. Tears stained my cheeks as my lies put a distance between us. “I guess I do feel guilty for wishing she was held accountable for Carmen’s death. I didn’t know she had anyone that gave a shit about her.”

  “It’s normal to feel like that. I doubt Ginger really gives a shit, she’s just looking for someone to blame.”

  “I guess you’re right.” A heavy sigh expelled from my lungs. “I’ve got to get upstairs to group, want to walk me up?”

  “I’d love to.” He took my hand and pulled me into a hug. “Don’t let her get to you, okay? It’s not worth it. I love you, Val.”

  “I love you, too. Thanks for being so amazing.”

  “I do my best.” He squeezed my hand and winked.

  Norma and Maggie were waiting for me in the conference room. “Hey ladies, how are you holding up?”

  Maggie and Norma remained silent. Norma had Maggie’s hand in hers, their eyes in direct contact. Sonya entered the room and shut the door behind her before anyone could break the silence.

  “Whoa, who died?” Sonya looked around the room when no one laughed. “Oh, yeah… poor choice of words… but, really, what’s going on?”

  Seconds felt like an eternity before Norma spoke. “Do you want me to tell them, dear?”

  Maggie nodded her head, tears ran down her cheeks. The bags under her eyes told me she had not slept in a few days. Her hair was a mess, and what looked like breakfast was on the front of her sweatshirt.

  “Maggie found drugs in Lexi’s room.” Norma paused while Maggie blew her nose.

  “She’s been acting strange, so Maggie and I did a little investigating and…”

  “Wait a minute.” Sonya butted in. “You invaded her space and snooped through her things? That’s not cool.” She sat back against her chair and crossed her arms. “You can say goodbye to her ever trusting you again.”

  “Sonya, that’s enough.” I fought back the urge to roll my eyes.

  “No, she’s right.” That was all Maggie could push out through the tears.

  Sonya shook her head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come off like a bitch… I just remember being Lexi’s age… and I would’ve been so pissed at my mom if she snooped through my stuff.”

  “Have you talked with Lexi about it yet?” I picked up the box of tissues and held it o
ut for Maggie.

  “No, not yet. She’s so angry lately… she’s lost so much… so I haven’t pushed her, but I had to know what was going on. I wish I never looked.”

  “No, it’s a good thing you know now. Maybe you can help her stop before she gets addicted.”

  “Yeah, Val’s right, you don’t want her to end up like Jane.” Sonya covered her open mouth. “I didn’t mean…”

  “My God, Sonya. You’re full of help today.” I closed my eyes as I shook my head. “What did you find?”

  “I’m not sure what it was, just a bottle of pills and a little baggie of marijuana.”

  A flashback to Seth’s apartment took over the room. There was no way they came from him. Lawrenceville’s a small place, but that’s way too small.

  Maggie reached into her pocket and pulled out the amber colored bottle and handed it to me. “There is part of a label on here, but I couldn’t make out enough to be helpful.”

  Only a small white portion of the label remained. The only letters I could make out were Ja, the rest was missing. The room went black as I tried to push out what was happening. The bastard was at it again. What were the odds there were multiple drug dealers in town with access to pill bottles with a first name that starts with J? I steadied my breathing to calm myself enough to come back to the conversation. “Do you know where Lexi could have gotten these?”

  “No. She hasn’t been coming home right after school lately. I was just happy she had made some new friends, I didn’t get after her about it. I had no idea she was doing anything she shouldn’t.”

  “Does she have a boyfriend?” I let a sigh out through my pursed lips.

  “I didn’t think so, but I noticed she had a hickey on her neck last night. I didn’t dare ask any questions. Mostly because I don’t want to know the answer.”

  “I know it’s hard, Maggie, but you need to take some control over her. Norma, will you be able to offer her some support?”

  “Of course, I’ll do anything she needs.” Norma turned her head to face Maggie. “How about a good old fashion family meeting?”

  “A family meeting? What is this, the Brady Bunch?” Sonya rolled her eyes. “How about you follow her around? Put a tracking device on her phone?”

  “That’s not a bad idea. What do you think?” I turned my attention to Maggie.

  Sonya interrupted me. “I was kidding. She’s sixteen, right? How about you trust her to make up her own mind? She’s a smart girl, right?”

  My frustration grew with every word she spoke. “She’s a child. If Maggie wants our help, how about we give it to her?”

  “I am trying to help. It wasn’t that long ago I was Lexi’s age, and if my mom started having family meetings and spying on me, I would have been…”

  “This isn’t about you, Sonya, this is about Lexi and Maggie. They need our help.”

  “Whoa, calm down, Val.” Sonya held her hands up.

  “Thank you, Val, for caring so much about Lexi.” Norma let go of Maggie’s hand to take mine. “Let’s work together and figure this out.”

  She was right, they both were. I needed to take a step back. The thought of Seth being involved was ludicrous. It couldn’t be him. There would be no way they could have met. She is a child and he’s a grown man. And, last I knew, he wasn’t using anymore. “That sounds like a good plan. What can we do to help?”

  “I do like the idea of a family meeting.” Maggie patted her nose with her tissue. “Do you think we should do it tonight?”

  “I think that’s a good idea.” Norma smiled.

  “I know I don’t live there, but how about you make it something casual, over dinner? And, maybe start off by asking questions to both girls? Like, how’s school? Who are your new friends? Where do you buy your weed? You know, just slip it in there?” Sonya shrugged her shoulders.

  I nodded in agreement. “Aside from the last question, I think Sonya has a great idea. Just do something casual and ask Sammy questions, too. So Lexi won’t feel attacked. You want her to be able to talk to you if something happens.”

  “We could order pizza or something she’d like. Make it fun. Maybe it’s not as bad as we’re thinking.” Norma pat the top of Maggie’s knee.

  “I don’t want her to hate me. I could try to be the fun mom.”

  “Yes. See, I knew these ladies would help.” Norma turned to face Maggie and smiled.

  “So, tell us, how was the funeral?” Sonya leaned forward, her elbows on her knees.

  “It was… interesting.”

  “How is a funeral interesting?” Sonya raised her eyebrows.

  “Her mom was there and her boyfriend was not.”

  “Wait… she had a boyfriend?”

  “I guess you could call him that.”

  “Okay… so… tell us more. So far, this doesn’t sound very interesting.” Sonya sat back in her chair with her arms crossed.

  “Well, her mom thinks someone killed Jane.”

  “Yeah, they did… it’s called the drug dealer,” Sonya said.

  “But, anyway, that was all really.”

  “How are you doing, dear?” Norma’s eyes glistened under her glasses.

  “I’m fine. How are you?”

  “I’m fine, too. I just feel bad. I should have been nicer to her. I keep thinking about that last meeting, and how quickly we all left when she arrived.” Norma shook her head. “I keep thinking if we had stayed, maybe she wouldn’t have wanted to…”

  “Jane’s death wasn’t your fault. She was sick. Please, don’t blame yourself.” I watched as the weight of guilt weighed on Norma.

  “It’s just such a sad story.” Norma hung her head.

  “It is. But none of you are responsible for Jane's death.” A heaviness pushed me into my chair. I hadn’t considered they would feel responsible, or even feel anything. Jane was a nuisance, I hadn’t imagined she would be missed by anyone.

  Chapter Four

  Gabriel met me at the door in his usual spot. It wasn’t close to dinner time today, so I knew it was just me he was missing. Some days I wondered if he loved me as much as I do him, but there was no question in times like this. “Hey, buddy. How was your day? As long and as grueling as mine? No? I didn’t think so.” I scooped him up and pressed my forehead to his. The vibration of his purring calmed my nerves.

  “So, the saga of Jane continues… even in death. I’ll never be rid of that lady.” I scratched behind his ear before setting him on the floor. “Now, a new pain in the ass… her mom, Ginger. What kind of name is that, anyway?” I took out a can of Fancy Feast and put it in his dish. “She’s from Boston… that’s only a three-hour drive… but she never came to visit her daughter? What kind of mother does that?” My laugh filled the kitchen. “Yeah, good point. But she comes here to make a scene… and now she wants to find out who killed her baby. I hope she goes back to Boston and stays there.”

  “Hey, am I interrupting something?” Tim’s voice took me by surprise.

  “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me. How long have you been here?”

  “I just got here. Should I come back, you know, after you and Gabe are done with your conversation?” His laugh made me smile.

  “Very funny. You know I talk with Gabe when I need expert advice.”

  “Oh, that kind of stung.”

  “No, I was just telling him about Ginger.”

  “About that… she came by my office. She said you gave her Seth’s address.”

  “Yeah, I wanted to get rid of her, I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

  “I guess it wasn’t, really. She said Seth was an asshole, so she didn’t get anything out of the visit. She did say she wanted to offer a reward to get any information about Jane’s death.”

  “A reward? What for? She just can’t accept her daughter was an addict?”

  “It’s hard for her. She said she hadn’t seen Jane in years and she wants to make it up to her.”

  “She does realize this won’t do anything?” Fru
stration built as I thought about this new thorn in my side.

  “Maybe it will. It might give her closure to be able to find the person who sold her the drugs. At least it’ll keep her busy while she looks.”

  “I thought she was going back to Boston.”

  “She is. Why is this so upsetting to you?”

  “I don’t know. I just thought this was over.” My shoulders rose and fell with a heavy sigh. “Can we talk about something else now? Anything?”

  “I thought you’d never ask.” Tim cleared his throat. “My mom called today, she wants to know if we set a date yet.”

  “Oh, God.”

  “Wow, not the response I was hoping for.”

  “Sorry. It’s not that I don’t want to think about the wedding, it’s just that… you just asked me… can't we just enjoy this for now?”

  Tim pulled me into a hug. “We can, but wouldn’t it be nice to have an idea of when? I just can’t wait to wake up every morning next to you.”

  “I know, that does sound nice. It’s just hard for me… you know… I don’t have family I can share it with. It makes me realize how alone I really am.”

  “How about we elope? Hop on a plane to Vegas and let Elvis work his magic.”

  “Hmmm… that could work… but why the hurry? I mean, you just asked me.”

  “I think Mom wants a timeline for the grandkids.”

  My hand went to my necklace and rubbed the warm metal. The edges from the broken heart smooth from wear. Thoughts about the son I missed out on crept in. The anguish pushed out tears I held onto for so many years. Unable to tame the rush of unleashed emotions, the pain oozed out of me. Tim held me closer to help ease the suffering.

  “Oh, Val, I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I’m so thoughtless sometimes.”

  With a big sniffle in, I was able to compose myself. “No, it’s not that… it’s just… I never imagined I’d ever be a mom. I always thought I missed my chance.”

  “You know that wasn’t your fault, right? I know you would have been… will be a great mom. But we can slow things down. There’s no need to hurry.”

  “Does she know?”