Lord of the Drach

by Patti Larsen

  Inhale. And pain.

  All the emotion held back burst into life, choking me, cutting me off at the heart. Who was I kidding that I thought I could take this? That I wasn’t in shock, lying to myself, so different after all the walls I’d built to protect me and my soul would save me when they finally broke down?

  Did she see it, the sudden wakening of the depths of my grief? Did she care?

  “I didn’t ask for this.” Why those words, Syd, when there were so many others I could have spoken?

  Shenka nodded, sighed, wiped at her face. “I know,” she whispered. “That’s the biggest damned tragedy of all of it, Syd. But.”

  I didn’t try to stop her when she turned and walked away.

  ***

  Chapter Thirty Five

  I walked for a while, down the beach, away from Hensley house and Shenka and the truth that hurt so much the only thing I could do was move my body so it wouldn’t fall to pieces around me.

  A pair of children shrieked happily as they ran through the surf, mothers watching from their towels close by. A man and his dog jogged at the shoreline, a pair of young men tossing a Frisbee in the heat of the sun, slim, muscular bodies golden brown.

  Normals, all of them, their lives simple. At least, simple compared to mine. I found a piece of driftwood, sat down on it when I just couldn’t go any further, pulling my knees up, arms around them, staring into the ocean.

  How easy it was to fall into the lull of the motion of nature, to inhale and exhale the world around me and ignore the soft, distant pattering of power against my shielding. My tools trying to reach me. My loved ones…

  A sweet, kind face passed through my mind, gently smiling, hazel eyes sparking with bits of green. And I wept, silent, heart done at last as I admitted what I never knew.

  With the magic gone, dead between us, it wasn’t Quaid who I thought of. Who I missed, longed for, who could have healed me no matter what happened. Even now, whose soul would have shored up my own with his gentle presence, the power of the oak tree that lived within him all the support I would have needed.

  But he was gone. And in that instant, as I let the hurt of his passing out, I understood at last Quaid was right. It was Liam I loved with all my heart.

  I cried then, into my hands, hurtful, tearing sobs I couldn’t hold back, for the loss of my love, of the life I’d thought I’d get to live. For all the regret and bitterness, for the sacrifice and the death of a sweet, sweet man who I’d lost forever.

  I’d told Shenka I hadn’t asked for any of this. Maybe I had, in my own Hayle way. But, if I could have rewound time right then and there, changed the way everything turned out, I would have let the world burn just to feel Liam’s arms around me. To hear his voice, feel the soft touch of his power. Smell the scent of fresh earth and fabric softener.

  It just wasn’t fair. Sure, I’d given up on fair a long time ago. But I just couldn’t help the wail as it tore through me and cut me close and sharp.

  I have no idea how much time passed, how long it took me to finally get over myself. The sun was going down, though, the two mothers gone with their kids, the young men departed. Alone, bereft, empty of everything that had held me together to this point, I finally looked up.

  To find Zoe Helios sitting next to me, silent and still.

  She didn’t offer to hug me and I didn’t reach for her. Held back, truth be known, kept my space as I wiped at my face and hiccupped out the last of my sorrow. For now.

  “Doombringer.” It felt better to focus on logic than emotion.

  Zoe sighed. “I can’t tell you anything,” she said, turning her head so I could catch the sunlight’s final rays glowing in her brown eyes. “Except your path will take you places you never expected.” Creator. Not Zoe after all. “Why is it we most hurt the ones we love?”

  I sniffed, shrugged, sagged. Couldn’t find an answer.

  Her hand settled on mine and I didn’t pull away. “Syd,” Creator whispered. “You know what you have to do. I’m so sorry to make you do it. But Max,” she sighed. “Max is right.”

  It didn’t hurt as much as I expected. The white sorcery inside me accepted and, with its permission, so did I though the girls all turned their backs and grieved for me.

  I didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say. Instead, I picked myself up and went home, leaving Zoe behind.

  Home. What a joke that seemed to me now. I didn’t want a home. Or people in my life. How much easier would it be if I could just walk away from them all and let go? Fair. No, it wasn’t fair. But maybe I could level the playing field by refusing to let anyone in ever again.

  Just like Max wanted.

  I examined the threads of the people I carried with me. Selected Shenka’s with deliberation and a jerk of vengeance. And cut it deliberately. Hoped it hurt as I passed out of the silence of the veil and into the kitchen in Wilding Springs.

  Not my kitchen. The kitchen. How far gone was I?

  Gram sat at the table, Sass before her. The two looked up as I entered. The worst possible combination to face me now. Mom I could have handled. Dad. Even Quaid. But Gram? And that damned silver Persian with his watching eyes.

  The girls whispered inside me, muttering their sadness, but I couldn’t hear them right now. Wouldn’t. Damn it, it wasn’t fair, remember?

  Gram must have known better than to try to comfort me. Her face twitched from concern to darkness in a flash. “Girl,” she said. “Where have you been?”

  “Nowhere.” I held still, wanting to retreat upstairs, but it wasn’t my room anymore. Quaid was in it, even if he was gone. “What are you doing here?”

  “You divorced Quaid.” No recrimination at least, not from her. Too much sorrow from the cat. I refused to look at him, focusing on my grandmother instead. There was the thread between us, hovering, pulling me in. I resisted, but didn’t cut it.

  Not yet.

  “Mind telling me why?” Gram’s grimness deepened, hands twitching in her lap suddenly. Did she want to smack me? Probably.

  “It was time.” I jerked my shoulders in a shrug. “He’s better off. And so am I.” I looked out the door, through the glass into the driveway. “You know, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. About him, the family, all of it.” I’d brought nothing but misery to everyone in my life. Gotten a few of them killed. Liam threatened to make me cry again, so I shoved him aside. “How much better off you all would have been without me.”

  Sass cried out, a low, mournful sound that punched a hole in my need to keep him apart from me. The moment I felt his pain I shut it down again. Damned cat.

  “We’d all be dead.” Gram’s bluntness hit me like a fist. “Don’t be an idiot.”

  “Like I said. Better off.” I looked back to her, layers and layers of nothing rising as I reached for the silence on the beach, before the shock wore off. This felt better, this lack of anything. I could function, at least, without choking to death on my own tears.

  Gram scowled. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  I almost laughed. “Nothing,” I said. “Not a thing, Ethpeal.” That felt better. Distance. I needed distance. I thought of Max and the drach and what I was. What I’d become. Shenka was right, but not in the way she meant. It was better this way, if I cut them off.

  I needed clarity and distance. A shame it reminded me of what Quaid had said. Of how he treated me. But he was okay, wasn’t he? Didn’t have the corner market on being a jerkasaurus.

  I could fill that role myself.

  Gram jerked slightly at my use of her first name, but didn’t speak. “I’m done with the small stuff,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. “You’re all going to have to figure your crap out without me from now on.” The Persian moaned. “I need to be the big scary monster. And I can’t do that while worrying about the distractions you keep dumping in my lap.”

  “I’ve seen you do and be a lot of things in your lifetime, Sydlynn Hayle,” the cat said. “But I never thought I’d be here when
you gave up.”

  How dared he? Anger flared, waking other things I didn’t want to feel anymore, so I shoved it down and turned my back on him, on Gram. Ethpeal.

  Syd. She reached for me at exactly the right moment, Femke’s still weak mind finding mine. I need to see you.

  I almost cut her off, shoved her aside. But she needed to hear the same message I’d just delivered in person. Without looking back, I tore open the veil and went to Hong Kong, to the sound of the Persian weeping.

  ***

  Chapter Thirty Six

  I followed the touch of Femke’s mind, briefly startled when I stepped through, not into her office as I expected, but the council room. Where the full WPC had gathered. Sat staring at me with grim expressions as if they could glare me into submission or something equally as stupid.

  I suddenly didn’t feel all that sorry for them, hoped Max and the drach did more than just block them out if they had the balls to attack the Stronghold. A bit of fire and destruction might teach them the lesson they finally—

  Who was I kidding? They’d had fire and destruction, hadn’t they? With Belaisle. Taught them nothing.

  I met Femke’s eyes after doing a slow sweep of the staring faces with the best cold eyed gaze I could muster. Which was pretty freaking cold at this point. Made a few of them look away, even, though I’d stopped keeping score. Or caring to.

  “What?” No way was I giving her even a scrap of respect, not after pulling this stunt on me. Calling me personally, only to drop me into the middle of a mental meat grinder. No friend of mine would do such a thing.

  Maybe I’d been fooling myself about her all along, too. The whisper in the back of my mind—was that my vampire trying to break through?—reminding me Mom said something wasn’t right with Femke fell on a deaf mind. This was just the last straw. The last. I’d given up everything for these ungrateful bastards and they had the nerve to pin me here with their judgments and their mightier-than-thou attitudes.

  They had no idea what they were in for.

  Femke didn’t flinch from me this time, still looked like crap. How long had it been since I put everything at risk to rescue her, hours? At a point when she was a top priority because she was my family, by choice. What was I thinking? This stern, icy queen of magic was nothing of the sort. I’d fooled myself into thinking differently. And, right then and there, facing her, I made the same connection to others Shenka made to me.

  I was their tool. Everything else came second.

  “The World Paranormal Council demands the return of Liander Belaisle to this plane,” she said. I heard blah blah blah. “Coven Leader Sydlynn Hayle of the North American Witches Council, you will ensure this comes to pass.”

  Oh no, she did not. OH NO, SHE DID NOT.

  Syd. Mom’s voice whispered past my shielding and my fury as red fire rose up and took over my vision. Syd, stop.

  Anyone but my mother and I wouldn’t have listened. But she’d been bossing me around since I was a little girl and some habits were hard to break. I felt for her, but she wasn’t here. Her power observed from North America, linked to me, naturally. I almost cut her off but allowed her to stay.

  A little while longer.

  You have five seconds and about as many words, I snarled at her. Before everyone in this room regrets their decision to call me here.

  I know you’re hurting. Wrong thing to say, Mom. They’re hurting too. Like I gave a crap at this point. Please, sweetheart. No more pain. Not now. Not after everything we’ve been through.

  Her grief won, barely. The red retreated, white sorcery sighing its regret. So simple, really, to disassemble this entire office tower. The people inside it.

  Listen to us, the girls chanted. Listen, Syd.

  Max. I threw his name out into the veil and felt him answer. Showed him where I was, let him hear Femke’s demand. And listened as he sighed.

  What do you want to do?

  He was asking me? That shattered the last of my need to destroy. They can’t have him.

  So I thought, Max sent. And yet. He paused so long I grew dizzy, had to remember to draw a breath and let it out again. Perhaps we can make this work.

  What happened to the Universe’s needs? Contrary drach. I’d kick his ass for putting me in this position.

  I’ve been hasty and emotional and irritable for days, he sent, sorrow embracing me. So fearful of what’s to come… which made me wonder what he knew I didn’t all over again. With the proper protections and assurances, I’d consider it.

  Stunned, floored, his sudden about face cooled my temper. A little.

  “You’re damned lucky,” I growled at Femke. “Max and the drach have slipped their nut and are thinking about it.” The room rumbled with self-important pleasure and I shut that scene down with a firm shake of the building.

  When the screaming had stopped and the assembly more attentive, I released Shaylee’s earthquake so they could resume their seats. Which they did with staring eyes.

  So many staring eyes.

  “Don’t think for one moment,” I said, quiet and furious, though my magic made sure they all heard me just fine, “this is a victory. That you’ve somehow won against the might of the first race. That you got your way because you’re better than them. Not for one moment.” Another tremor answered my call, smaller but enough of a warning they bounced in their chairs. “Because I’ll tell you right now,” I spun on Femke who shook where she stood without my help, “if anything happens to Belaisle, if he escapes, is killed, anything. You’ll regret it.”

  Something tickled the edges of my magic. It was only then I realized Quaid and a large group of Enforcers were trying to hold me with their power. I turned, looked into his eyes. Read his terror when he realized there was nothing he could do against me.

  And felt that same terror.

  What the hell had I become?

  “I assure you,” Femke said, voice trembling when I turned back to her, “we will take the utmost caution. Enforcer Leader Tinder will take personal possession and responsibility.” Like I cared if it was Quaid who came to collect.

  “Not alone,” I said. “The drach will be welcome here as guards.”

  Mutters of discontent.

  “The drach,” I shook the room, “will be welcome here.”

  “Of course,” Femke said, “Coven Leader Hayle.”

  “That’s Maji Hayle,” I said. “Doombringer.” Whatever that meant. I waved off the bunch of them, writing them out of my last give a damn. This is a terrible idea, I sent to Max. What happened to keeping him in the Stronghold? To getting answers from him, controlling him, keeping me from helping Dark Brother shatter the way between the Universes? Max. Desperation, the need to understand, stole a heartbeat from me. Dear elements, what the hell? I felt like he’d suddenly betrayed me with his change of heart.

  Perhaps it is a bad idea, he sent. I could already feel him in transit. But for good or ill, the decision is made. And there might come a point we need their help.

  I shook my head, still not believing so much had changed in him so quickly, as he appeared through the veil, flanked by four drach, Belaisle in the middle of them, dwarfed by the massive, gray robed bodies.

  As if, I sent.

  Max didn’t comment, not to me. Instead, he bowed his head ever so slightly to Femke while Quaid stepped forward.

  “We have never wished animosity between our people,” the drach leader said. “But you understand the gravity of this situation, Council Leader.”

  Femke nodded in return, relief clearly written on her face. It made me angry to see her so weak. Or was I just still pissed off enough to see it as weakness?

  Max stepped aside, his people parting down the middle, allowing Quaid access. I stood off to the side with the drach leader, shaking inside, just wanting out of there. Belaisle’s smirk in my direction didn’t help much. Didn’t help at all. Just made me angrier and more frustrated.

  “The WPC’s Enforcers will serve as Liander Belaisle’s
protectors.” Femke gestured to Quaid. The four drach looked to Max, alarm on their faces, but he just shrugged.

  Max. I barked his name in his head.

  I know, he sent. But once we’ve caved, we have no ground left to stand on, Syd.

  I looked up at him, his diamond eyes not meeting mine. And wanted to hit him as I truly understood what this was about. You know something I don’t.

  No comment.

  Zoe. I crumpled inside. That had to be it. No way did he about face this much without someone telling him to. And there weren’t all that many people he would take orders from. What did she say to you?

  He simply exhaled softly with real regret. Fate calls, he sent. And I answer. Faithful to Creator always.

  Oh, crap.

  She had balls, I’d give her that. More balls than anyone else in the room. I was just turning back when Eva Southway appeared in a tunnel of black, the very instant the drach power collapsed and Quaid’s reached out to take over. No overlap, the idiot. He didn’t think to join with them, too selfish or overly confident. Whatever the reason for the gap, it existed.

  And she’d clearly been waiting for it.

  My heart blackened. And though, perhaps, I could have acted, I felt Max’s silence beside me. With hate burning me up inside, I held back. And let Liander go.

  My head was quiet, my insides still, Max flooding my mind while the room erupted in panic as the Brotherhood leader disappeared with a jaunty wave into the tunnel and vanished with his co-conspirator. Enforcer power thudded into the place where the gap had been, council members scrambling for cover.

  A giant, horrible, disgusting mess of a waste of my time.

  Quaid spun on me, chocolate eyes full of rage. “You could have stopped this!”

  Everyone froze, turned to look at me, at Max.

  And everyone saw me shrug. “Not my responsibility, was it?”

  He gaped at me, silent and clearly unable to find a thing to say to that.