Vampire Taxonomy

by Meredith Woerner

  YOU LOOK LIKE DEATH: PHYSICAL IDENTIFIERS

  Attire

  Most of the Halfies seen mucking about in public are those stuck in midtransformation. Sadly, because these beings often appear more human than the rest (because they are), it’s difficult to spot a Halfie by attire alone.

  A few comical vampire portrayals have depicted a protagonist once bitten scuttling about, draped head to toe in all black.63 Although the all-black garb is a cute notion, most victims waging the battle against the undead transformation appear rumpled and wrinkled. This group is now tossing and turning through sleepless nights and spending the days cowering in the shade, hardly leaving any time for laundry. Most Hemophage dimidium look how they feel: confused, in pain, and tired. Until they come to terms with what’s going on inside them, their clothing is usually the first to suffer.

  It’s important to distinguish looking like a tortured hell beast and just being dirty. If you have a friend who has been showing off vampiric tendencies and all of a sudden shows up caked in dirt, pretending to be your buddy, he’s no longer straddling the divide between human and vampire. He’s gone through one of the many vampire siring traditions, which include being buried in the ground.64 So if you run into a buddy who’s been hanging out with the late-night crowd, and he’s covered in dirt, run, because chances are he’s hungry.

  The Cocktail: A Halfie’s Best Accessory

  Halfies who have managed to exist in between life and death usually have obtained a drug that hinders the venom coursing through their veins from turning them into a full-fledged bloodsucker. Any good Halfie won’t be caught out of arm’s length of his medication, as it’s the only thing keeping him human. Meet someone who looks like hell with a pill-popping problem and a penchant for super rare steak, and there’s a seven out of ten chance that you’re dealing with a Hemophage dimidium.

  VAMPIRE SUPPRESSANTS IN THE MEDIA (THE COCKTAIL)

  PILLS—THE FORSAKEN

  The bumbling vampire hunters from The Forsaken carry pills made up of antigens, aminos, and proteins that were supposedly discovered in the late 1980s during HIV drug trials by a bitten doctor. The pills slow down the weeklong turning process and can keep the virus at bay for a few years, but not forever.

  PILLS—VAMPIRES: LOS MUERTOS

  Another batch of antivampire pills was possessed by Halfie Zoe in Vampires: Los Muertos. Of course, once an übervamp got her hands on the meds, she took them all, gaining the ability to walk in the sunlight. This event actually teaches us all the valuable lesson to never carry around more than the needed amount of vamp suppressants (with an emergency extra).

  POTION—FEVRE DREAM

  Joshua York, a reluctant vampire, creates an alchemic potion that can control the “blood fever” inside a vampire. From the Fevre Dream steamboat, York sails down the mighty Mississippi looking to relieve other blood-lusting vampires.

  SERUM—BLADE

  Blade needed his magic serum concocted by old man Whistler. Rumor is it’s a mix of blood and the essence of garlic. Once bitten, if injected with this juice (in its fancy gun needle) you can live on the edge between vampire and human and fight the hunger—but maintain your handy super strength to fight full-fledged bloodsuckers.

  PILLS—NIGHTLIFE, MADHOUSE, AND MOONSHINE

  Vampires in these books gulp down a mix of pills, including iron supplements so they can resist the urge for blood. The result is hunger suppression and a loss of some of their vampiric powers.

  TURN AND FACE THE STRANGE CHANGES: PHYSICAL FEATURES

  Skin

  Those who have been bitten are in a sense dying right in front of you. Their skin generally reflects their distressed physical state, usually presenting a sallow tone, especially if they don’t feed. This class shares many similarities with the Tragic Vampire because both groups tend to refrain from drinking human blood. If they don’t feed they will begin to display hollow cheeks, bags under their eyes, and clammy skin.

  Also important to know is that once bitten, the body will slip into defense mode and react to the venom or virus similarly to how one responds to an infection—with fever. Subjects may complain that they’re burning up and sweat profusely, but their skin will be cold to the touch.

  On the Inside

  What’s happening inside a Halfie during transformation is not a pleasant experience for friends or victim. Possibly one of the better and more gruesome examples in the media is the experience Corri goes through in Club Vampire. After coming home and feasting on a hamster she begins to lose her gruesome lunch and, with it, a lot of her internal organs.

  What a Halfie’s body is going through is the ultimate shutdown; the body is essentially withering away and becoming something new. Even if you’re unlucky enough to be bitten by a vampire and find yourself pulling organs out of your body, remember that it could be worse. You could be turned by Guillermo del Toro’s Strain beasties, in which case your privates wither up into nothing.

  Eyes

  The vampiric eye won’t emerge in most cases until much later in the Halfie’s transformation (if he is not on vampire suppressants). But if the victim is angered, scared, or placed in a situation with any sort of an adrenaline rush, there is a great chance for his eyes to change a shade or two.65 This is usually an instance of deep shame and embarrassment for a Halfie, and it’s good to minimize your shocked reaction if you witness this occurrence. Normally these transformations occur moments after an instinctual lunge toward a loved one’s neck, by which time the Halfie is already feeling pretty ashamed.

  Fangs

  Halfie canines (if they are infected with the bloodline that mutates the jaw into a vampiric fang) do not fully develop until the victim has completed transformation. Consider the appearance of the fang the final sign of development.

  What you will see on Hemophage dimidium are fang buds66 or the beginnings of the nosferatu tooth. These baby teeth sit in the back of the mouth, waiting to take full shape. While in bud form the little teeth are not particularly good at piercing the skin but are still sharp.

  The growing of fang buds is another uncomfortable aspect of the Halfie’s plight, and you’ll constantly see them tonguing away at their gums trying to soothe the two new teeth growing through their jaw. It’s a continual throbbing pain, like a cavity located in the front of the jaw, and just another reason Halfies often struggle with headaches and mood swings.

  SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? HABITAT

  Halfies live one of two ways. If they have a handle on the disease, many Hemophage dimidium continue on with their current lives, whether it’s in a high-rise condo in a big city or in their parents’ basement. The other half usually hits the road looking for answers, possibly taking up with a band of slayers or hacking it out on the lonesome road alone. Rumors have it that if a Halfie kills the vampire that sired him or her, the infection or possession (depending on who you are or what bit you) can be reversed. Needless to say that puts a lot of oomph in their step. But, not everyone wants to become a hero and set out on a lonely journey across the world looking for vampires to slay. Many Halfies just want things to go back to normal; sadly, there is no lifetime guarantee on many of the scientific concoctions, and scientists aren’t remotely close to a cure yet. Eventually those living with the disease will turn completely, despite their best efforts to keep living relatively normal lives.

  MILD-MANNERED MIND CONTROL: UNSEEN ABILITIES

  Halfies are still growing into vampires, and even though they are stuck in the unfortunate limbo between human life and an eternity suffering from a never-ending, unquenchable bloodlust, there are some perks. For one, the Halfie will start to develop very weak mind control abilities. When used on small children and exceedingly tired and weak-willed humans, they can be slightly influential. However, complete control over these skills takes practice, full vampiric strength, and blood. Without these three things, the Halfies’ powers are blurry and unreliable at best.

  A JUMPY BUNCH: HALFIE BEHAVIOR

 
Halfie Talk

  One thing you must recognize when dealing with even a well-adjusted Halfie (one who isn’t living in full-fledged denial of the disease) is that getting bitten changes everything. From now on the subject has to spend the rest of his days battling an addiction for blood along with suppressing the venom, so the whole “I’m slowly dying and there’s nothing I can do about it” situation is going to be stuck in his mind like a broken record.

  A Halfie will wallow in depression, waxing on a “Why me?” whine for days. You have to be supportive; because he is, in a sense, dying right in front of you, his sadness is understandable. The other reaction to straddling death is a surprising hero complex. Whether they’re seeking revenge on the breed or acting as a divine instrument, a great deal of Halfies become slayers, which means you’ll be subjected to long conversations about joining the ranks and fighting the good fight. You’ll also be hearing a lot of antivampire hate talk.

  But the common factor among all Halfies is a pervasive sense of dread; deep inside, they know what they’ll end up as, and it terrifies them. This makes those struggling with the curse jumpy, judgmental, and often cruel to the ones they love. A Hemophage dimidium will try to keep humans at arm’s length at all times and prefers to be alone most days. It’s a sad thing to watch a loved one go through, but it’s better than the alternative.

  The Dhampir

  While we’re on the topic of vampire hunters, you cannot forget the strange race of half-breed vampires who were born into this world (not created): the Dhampirs. Born from one human parent and one vampire, this group has been used to hunt vampires dating all the way back to original vampire folklore in Eastern Europe.67

  The character Blade, who was turned into a Dhampir by Hollywood,68 is one of the more famous half-breed vampires. He retains the powers of the vampire community but has not turned into a full-fledged bloodsucker. Many Dhampirs use their vampire side-given talents to fight injustice, evil, demons, or other vampires.

  The Dhampir possesses a lot of the same abilities and talents as a full vampire, such as super strength, speed, and long life (though often not immortal, most Dhampirs age extremely slowly). Most types also manage to avoid the more unpleasant aspects of the vampiric life and are able to go out into the sun and eat human food. Most important, some Dhampirs do not feel the urge to drink human blood, though this does not hold true for all types. These advantages, combined with their vigilante tendencies against their own kind, lead most full vampires to revile the Dhampir species.

  Vampire or Psychotic?

  If you’re going to truly understand the twitchy world of Halfies, you must be aware of signs of mental imbalance as well. Not every seemingly unbalanced person is midtransformation. Like all things popular, there will always be those faking the fang, that is, pretending to be a vampire. But it’s important to be able to distinguish between a faker and someone who is truly bitten, as it could mean the difference between life and death for you and them.

  There are two classic and highly debated media examples of psychosis after vampire bite. The tragic story of Peter Loew in Vampire’s Kiss demonstrates the dilemma of determining whether someone is truly turning into a vampire or faking it. Testing for light sensitivity, fang buds, and eye flashes all help, but sometimes you have to factor in mental instability or you could end up accidentally staking a nonvampiric, deranged literary agent on the floor of his New York apartment.

  Another notable and highly debated case of vampire versus nut job is George Romero’s Martin. The fangless young boy (who claims to be over eighty years old) seems completely normal, until he sedates his victims and drinks their blood with the help of a razor blade. Romero leaves the question wide open as to whether Martin is a member of the undead or just a murderer.

  If there is doubt, stay away and call the authorities. Don’t be fooled into driving a wooden spike through the heart of some poor, deranged, un-undead soul, or you’re probably in for a murder charge.

  WHAT TO DO IF APPROACHED

  Dealing with Halfies is difficult. They can easily play upon your sympathy with their tragic plight. But remember that they’re still dealing with an addiction, just as a full-fledged vampire is, so treat them with the same amount of care and caution as you would any other immortal. Chances are if approached by a Halfie you’re being sought after for either blood or help. However, don’t be lured into a hug or close contact; your warm skin could be too big a temptation to a struggling half-vamp. Do, however, volunteer to help them check out twenty-four-hour butcher shops, darker sunglasses, and a job or school that better suits their new nocturnal schedule. Helping a Halfie find peace with his new life reduces the possibilities for a hunger-spurred attack.

  HALFIE WARNING SIGNS

  • Lying: If you catch a Halfie in a lie, leave, immediately. You don’t know what else he is lying about.

  • New and obsessive interest in your loved ones: Look for constant pawing or cuddling around the neck of family members or friends. Leave, and take your family and friends with you.

  • Change in diet: Watch out if they’ve stopped eating their raw meat and pig blood.

  • Missing pets: Theirs, yours, or the neighbors’.

  • Discontinuing treatment: A Halfie who has stopped taking or is wasting a single vampire suppressant is a big no-no; the cocktail is hard to come by, so if he’s giving it away, beware.

  • Sudden movements: Particularly lunging at exposed skin, even if they stop themselves.

  • The beginnings of an S.F.V. (see Glossary).

  • A vampiric eye flash that hasn’t returned back to normal after many hours.

  HEMOPHAGE DIMIDIUM: KNOWN SPECIMENS

  Ticking Time Bomb

  These poor saps are perfect examples of weak souls under the thrall of the vampire curse. Whether it’s unending hunger or a constant longing to be with their master, these Halfies waver in and out of pain on a daily basis looking for the sweet release of the undead.

  Known Specimens

  Justin, Masters of Horror, “The V Word”

  Michael, The Lost Boys

  Caleb Colton, Near Dark

  Star, The Lost Boys

  Laddie, The Lost Boys

  Mina Murray, Bram Stoker’s Dracula

  Corri, Club Vampire

  Katrina, John Carpenter’s Vampires

  Sarah Roberts, The Hunger

  On the Cocktail

  Cranky and ready to kill, most subjects on the cocktail in Hollywood become road warriors looking for revenge while popping pills and staying in the shade.

  Known Specimens

  Nick, The Forsaken

  Zoe, Vampires: Los Muertos

  Promise Nottinger, Nightlife

  Your Parents Suck: Dhampirs

  You can’t pick your family, and sadly, this crop of vampiric children was born into a half-blood world of self-hate and addiction. But they usually acquire all of their parents’ best traits like super strength and speed, which they later use to kill off their family.

  Known Specimens

  Blade, Blade, Blade II, Blade: Trinity

  Murat (ancient lore)

  Renesmee Cullen, Twilight series

  Nahuel, Twilight series

  Connor, Angel (a class all his own, coming from two vampire

  parents but not being full vampire)

  Rayne, BloodRayne

  Grace and Connor Tempest, Black Heart

  Alexa Charon, Changeling

  Dimitri Belikov, Vampire Academy

  Rosemarie Hathaway, Vampire Academy

  Vladimir Tod, The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod

  Saya, Blood: The Last Vampire

  Dorina Basarab, Midnight’s Daughter

  Nothing, Lost Souls

  6

  CHILD VAMPIRES

  HEMOPHAGE IUVENUS

  Louis: “You see that old woman? That will never happen to you.

  You will never grow old, and you will never die.”

  Claudia: “And it means someth
ing else too, doesn’t it?

  I shall never ever grow up.”

  —Interview with the Vampire

  There’s nothing more horrific than witnessing an actual tiny child of the night in full-face crumpled vampire mode. The smallest of the vampire kind, turned children not only are frightening bundles of terror with an appetite for blood and a look straight from the schoolyard, but out of all the vampiric kind, their existence is uneasily tolerated by both the human and vampire sides. It’s the one thing we immortals and mortals all seem to agree on: a general discomfort toward Hemophage iuvenus.

  Mortal confusion surrounding immortal youths is commonplace. For one, we take pity on those smaller than us and deemed innocent. But we know that they need our blood to survive, and who knows if that sweet little face won’t open up an artery while we slumber away dreaming about our newly adopted vampire babe?

  The actual act of vampiric reproduction is normally considered to occur when a human is changed to an undead beast, thus bringing him into a vampiric “family.” This is why you’ll sometimes hear vampires refer to their makers as Mother or Father. Similarly, creator vamps may refer to their newly made vamps as children. This behavior leads to a patriarchal or matriarchal relationship between the creator vamp and its offspring.