Full Figured 11

by Treasure Hernandez

  “Yeah, you did. But you ain’t never got stabbed up like this. Thank God for always looking out and protecting.” Oz interrupted Janiyah’s thoughts.

  “God? You want me to thank God for this?” Janiyah sucked her teeth. “Yeah, okay. Thank you, God, for letting me get beat up and stabbed. Thank you, God, for putting me in this hell hole. Thank the Lord for looking out.” Janiyah knew her sarcasm was going to piss Oz off. The rolling of the eyes and the fact Oz balled her hands into fists only confirmed what she already knew. If Janiyah weren’t laying in the bed, Oz would’ve punched her in the face by now.

  “I’m not gonna sit here and let you disrespect the God I serve.” Oz leaned closer, her lips inches away from Janiyah’s. “I think you need to learn to be more grateful and realize that the reason you are still breathing is because He’s been looking out for you all your life,” she said as she pointed toward the ceiling. “Like the fact that I’m the only one in here who gives two cents about you or cares about whether you make it out of your sentence alive. But you don’t care to see none of that, huh?”

  “I care.” Janiyah defended herself, making another attempt to lift her body off the bed. She failed miserably. “I am grateful, Oz.”

  “Yeah? You have a funny way of showing it, with your stuck-up behind. You need to learn to humble yourself and recognize when grace is given to you.” Oz hurled the insult.

  Now Janiyah wanted to punch her in the face. Oz knew good and well she had struck a nerve. Janiyah hated whenever anyone called her conceited. But she couldn’t punch Oz if she were handing her a bag with a million dollars in it. Janiyah didn’t have the strength to.... Never did.

  “You’re cold.” Janiyah turned away from Oz.

  Oz reached and turned Janiyah’s head and pressed it into the pillow so she was forced to face her. “I’m not cold, baby girl. I’m trying to be your friend. It’s called tough love.”

  “Is that what this is?” Janiyah struggled to ask as she forced her mouth to breathe in and out for her. The massive amount of air coming into her chest cavity only made her upper body feel like she’d been bitten by a bunch of fire ants at the same time. “Get off me, girl,” Janiyah half whined, half cried. Oz was hurting Janiyah, and she couldn’t do anything about it.

  Amazingly enough, she complied without Janiyah having to ask her again. “I’ma back off for now, but I’m never gonna stop praying for you. God’s gonna get you on His time,” Oz said as she backed up and took her seat.

  “I need to figure out who the hell did this to me.” Janiyah shook her head. Janiyah still couldn’t remember who had violated her. She could remember hearing a whistle being blown, but that was all that came to mind. She’d been trying to figure things out ever since she regained consciousness. Janiyah couldn’t even remember the event that led her there, or how she’d ended up in the shower.

  “And what are you going to do when you figure out who did this to you?” Oz demanded. It was like they’d rehearsed this script and went over the answer a thousand times.

  “Fuck them up and not get caught doing it,” Janiyah said between clenched teeth.

  Janiyah gave the wrong answer for Oz. She could see Oz’s face tighten with frustration. Janiyah continued, “C’mon, Oz. You really want me to just get up off this bed and act like nothing happened? Whoever did this to me has to pay. I stabbed somebody and I got three years for it, but I get stabbed and I’m supposed to just shrug it off and let bygones be bygones?”

  “Janiyah, I get that you’re angry, but revenge is not the answer. Even if you get your revenge, you’re not going to feel any better. You need to learn to forgive!”

  Janiyah could see the sincerity in Oz. She appreciated Oz for always trying to make Janiyah see things differently, but she was getting tired of Oz’s constant talks about God and forgiveness.

  “I’m sorry to let you down Oz, but I just can’t do that. I hope you don’t hate me for it,” she said without looking at her friend.

  “I can’t have hate in my heart. I’ve done enough sin to make me sit at the right hand of Satan on Judgment Day. I’m still trying to live for Jesus because no matter how dark the road may seem, I know I will be living eternally with Him when this is all over with.”

  Janiyah thought her head was going to explode. She was done listening to Oz go on and on about all this God stuff. It was not that she didn’t believe in God. She believed that God existed, but she didn’t believe him to be this supreme higher being that people made him out to be. If God was so powerful and loved all his children, how could He have allowed her to suffer the way she had when she was a little girl? How could He allow all the bad that was in the world? It didn’t make sense to her that there was such a god that was merciful and loving, yet there was so much hate and suffering.

  “Jesus may love you, but He damn sure doesn’t care about me, because if He did, this right here wouldn’t be happening to me! I’m happy for you being saved and all, but please, just stop trying to change me into something I’m not. I know right from wrong. I’ve never stolen or cheated. I’m know I’m not a bad person, Oz, and I don’t need you or God to validate that for me.”

  Oz felt sorry for her friend. Years ago, she had the same mentality. When she first arrived at this prison, she was an atheist. She didn’t only not believe in a supreme being; she hated the Jesus Christ, Son of Man, God’s son story. Oz hated the fact that people were dumb enough to believe any of that crap. For almost all of her life, Oz had the theory that if she was miserable, then everyone had to be as well. She vowed to never give in to that kind thinking or pressure. But years of imprisonment and having nothing but time to think about things will do a lot to a person. Back when she was about thirty-one, she kept getting invited to a Bible study. She always said no, until she learned that they served all kinds of snacks and they were given an extra half hour in the recreation room for prayer. She decided she’d fake the funk while she was there, load up on snacks, and enjoy her extra half hour once a week.

  As time passed, she caught herself getting more and more interested in reading the Bible. The stories the women talked about in Bible study really intrigued her. She took out a Bible from the prison library, and the more she read, the more she started to believe in the power of prayer and God’s love and healing over people’s life. She eventually made the decision to give her life to God, and it was one of the best things she could have ever done for herself. She could never take back the crime she had committed, but she knew she was forgiven.

  “I know you’ve been hurt.” Oz brought herself back to reality. “And I’m gonna stop trying to convince you of things. What I’m not gonna stop doing, though, is praying for you.”

  Janiyah inhaled. Wasn’t anything she could do about that. She knew Oz had good intentions for her. Oz was the only friend she had in there, and even though she was annoying her right now, Janiyah cared a lot about her.

  “Get some rest, Janiyah.” Oz leaned in and got close enough to whisper in Janiyah’s ear. “Before I go, though, let me remind you to watch your attitude with me. I may be a Christian, but I will lay hands on anyone that comes at me sideways or tries to disrespect me or the God I serve. The girls around here know better than to test me, and you out of all people should know that too.”

  Oz quietly walked away from Janiyah and left the infirmary just as a nurse was coming over to her bunk to give her some meds.

  Janiyah recognized the nurse as the one from earlier in the day. Janiyah got Oxycodone and a muscle relaxer to help her cope with her situation. She also gave her Xanax to deal with her anxiety. The nurse then pulled out a red pill crusher and made Janiyah’s meds as fine as the china-white powder they float on the streets. She poured the powder into a small bottle of orange juice and encouraged Janiyah to swallow the whole thing in two minutes or less. Janiyah chose to drink it down within thirty seconds. The faster it got in her system, the faster Janiyah would begin to fall asleep. Right before she went fully out, she could hear Oz’s voi
ce telling her to pray.

  Chapter Four

  “Wade—you ready to make your call?” Janiyah heard the officer ask her outside of the closed door. She was back in her cell after spending a few weeks healing in the infirmary. She was still sore but was thankful that her face didn’t take so much damage that it altered her looks.

  “Yes,” Janiyah mumbled.

  Janiyah heard the cell opening. Once opened, she walked outside.

  “Girl—who are you going to call?” the CO asked.

  The CO, Kendall McCall, looked a lot different in her light brown correctional officer’s shirt and dark black slacks than she did when she was struttin’ around the neighborhood. She was buttoned up and all business right now, but when she was outside the walls, she was a freewheeling girl who liked to show her shapely body. Her pecan-colored face was smooth, aside from the small scratch that appeared below her left eye, a mark from an earlier incident with an inmate who got out of line. Kendall may have looked pretty and sweet, but she knew how to throw down when the time called for it.

  “Gun better pick up the phone since he couldn’t show up for visitation,” Janiyah grumbled as she and Kendall walked side by side. She was hurt that Gun had cancelled his trip at the last minute. After his last few letters, Janiyah was ready to see Gun’s face in person.

  She picked up the old-school tan phone and watched the circular apparatus move as she dialed the numbers. After the customary collect call message, Janiyah heard Gun accept the call.

  “Janiyah?” Gun said.

  “Hey, baby, it’s me.”

  “I heard about the stabbing. What happenend that you ended up getting stabbed?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Okay, I can respect that. I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to go see you. How are you feeling, baby?”

  “I’ll be fine. Still sore, but I won’t allow whoever did this to break me or think they got to me. I’m gonna stay strong.”

  “That’s my girl.”

  “I was hoping that you were going to come and see me soon.”

  “I don’t know if I can go this week coming up, but I will do my best to make it. It’s been a lot of shit going down on my end, and I have a lot of things that need to get taken care of. I got some people stepping out of line, and I need to make some moves to show them I’m not one to be played with.”

  Janiyah got a little tingle between her legs at that last comment. She loved it when her husband bossed up like that. She was still disappointed that Gun couldn’t find the time to come see her, but she recognized that he had a business to run.

  “I understand, baby. Go do what you gotta do. I’m not going anywhere. Just come see me as soon as you can.”

  “You know I will,” Gun replied.

  “Well, I gotta go. My time’s almost up.”

  Before Gun could say anything, Janiyah hung up the phone. She wasn’t mad that he might not be able to visit this week, and she knew he had a valid reason. For some reason, though, she couldn’t help but feel some type of way about it. She couldn’t tell if she was sad, upset, hurt, or disappointed that Gun wasn’t going to visit. She walked back to her cell, confused and defeated.

  * * *

  The envelopes falling onto the concrete floor broke Janiyah’s concentration. She had been putting the finishing touches on her plan for her comeback. She had just under a year to get everything together. She had spent the last hour plotting and re-writing the touches of her plan, thinking of contacts and finalizing the designers she wanted to work with when she got out.

  Janiyah got up from her bunk and picked up the envelopes from the floor. There were two envelopes, one from Gun and one from the prison financial department. Wanting to get the bad news out of the way first, she opened the letter from the prison. Janiyah grinned widely when she read that Gun had deposited $200 into her account. It had come at just the right time. She couldn’t believe he hadn’t said anything to her when they spoke on the phone. That man was always ready with a surprise for her. The money was enough for Janiyah to buy her personal needs, as well as food, paper, black pens, envelopes, and stamps.

  The letter from Gun had been postmarked four days ago. Her heart beat fast as she stuck her index finger under the flap and slowly moved it across the edge.

  Janiyah,

  How are you, beautiful? I wish we could’ve had more time to talk on the phone that day. There’s so much I wanted to talk you about. And I miss hearing your voice.

  I’m so happy to know that you are okay. My heart dropped when I found out you had gotten stabbed. I don’t know what I would do if something ever happened to you. Since the stabbing, I’ve been thinking about making some major changes for when you get out. I know this is probably gonna come outta left field, but I’m thinking about getting out of the business. You know what business I’m talking about. I put in a lot of years, and I think I’m ready to walk away. I been lucky that nothing has happened to me after all these years, and before my luck runs out, I’d rather walk away on top. The more I think about things, the more I realize that I’m putting you in danger too. You are my everything, and I don’t ever want to get a call saying you got hurt or killed because of shit that has to do with me. You’ve been through enough already.

  I want us to focus on getting your career back on track when you get out. With me out of the business, I can give you my undivided attention and we can take over the modeling world!

  I have spent some time researching Nisa Isley and the Omoria Hampton Collection. I think Nisa Isley is really going to pull it together and have something ready by the time you get out. I haven’t reached out to her yet, but I think that she is going to be your best bet. Omoria Hampton is a bit conservative. She don’t have many black or plus-sized models, but that don’t mean she won’t work out for you. You could be her breakout star if we do it right.

  Getting the DBA for Janessa Tatum was easy. I decided to get a limited liability company for Gun Wade Entertainment, LLC because that was the better option. In case something happens to me, the company’s money is protected, and if something goes down with the shows, then we’re not losing personal money. So saying that, I paid more than I initially thought, but the LLC fees and the DBA filing fee is chump change compared to what we are going to make from your return to the runway alone. So don’t sweat it. I got the IDs, the licenses, the bank accounts at Capital One, and street addresses through the UPS Store, so everything is set on the business end.

  One piece of advice before we move forward: Nisa said you would probably have to do some shows for little to no pay so you can rebuild your portfolio. With Instagram growing popular, models are making career moves based on how many likes and shares they generate. We’d have to hit the ground running with fresh pics and rebuilding your audience. You got sentenced right before people really started blowing up on the Internet. Nisa suggested we stage your return this way.

  You need to find some books on acting so we can possibly place you in a Web-series. The shows don’t pay nothing but free food and maybe some free clothes, but you can use one of those shows for exposure. The more people see you, the more likely the audience will follow you, and we can really use whatever show we create or put out to benefit you. A good Web-series like “RoomieLoverFriends” or “Black Boots” can get you a long way.

  You’ve never been a chick with low self-esteem, so you got this. We counting down. One more year and I’ll be able to see you outside of those walls, hold you, make love to you. We’ll get this money, and my love for you will remain true.

  Love,

  Gun

  Janiyah wished she had a mirror so she could see the grin on her face. She was sure that it was as wide as the Mississippi.

  She was amazed at how deep his love was for her. She couldn’t believe he was really thinking about quitting the drug game. Gun had been in the streets since he was practically a kid. She couldn’t imagine him not having to make runs in the middle of the night or his phone not go
ing off constantly. She wondered if it would really be that simple for him to walk away from the world he’d been living in for so many years. He hadn’t said he was definitely doing it, though, so she decided not to put too much thought into it for now. She was going to stay by his side regardless of what he decided to do. Either way, she looked forward to having her freedom and being with her man soon.

  Janiyah was looking forward to what the future had for them. She was confident that she could trust Gun to be loyal and true to her, and she felt in her heart that nothing would ever change that. The worst had already happened. He could have easily bolted after she was sent away, but he continued to stayed by her side and was even willing to end his career to help get hers to the top.

  Janiyah sat down and began to write a note with the instructions on how her social media was to be set up, and what kind of comments she wanted to be posted about her release.

  From that moment forward, she was Team Janiyah & Gun for life.

  Chapter Five

  “Ayo, Niyah!” one of the inmates hollered at Janiyah during her hour of freedom.

  Janiyah was using her time to lift weights and do some calisthenics. The exercise helped her to blow off some steam. She had been stressing the fact that her attackers remained unidentified, and that she could be facing any one of these broads who was trying to mess up the months of her time in jail. The only inmate she dealt with and trusted was Oz.

  Janiyah took getting back into shape and reclaiming her life seriously. Gun was going above and beyond in helping her with things. Gun had turned into a living information superhighway. If she needed a confirmation on some information, Gun got her answers within twenty-four hours, then delivered it faster than the carryout drivers delivered pizza, with or without the walls separating them.

  Before she was released, Janiyah knew she was going to have to address the assault. She needed to find out who the bitches were that did her wrong. And she had seen enough behind bars to know that she was going to be tried again. The first contestant on the “Let’s Try and Step to Janiyah Show” was front and center. Janiyah was going to have to deal with this and quick. She couldn’t have some random girl getting to the media and spreading all kinds of vicious lies about what they had done to her. Janiyah wasn’t a killer, but like anyone, a little provoking could go a long way. There were bigger fish to fry, and Janiyah needed to batter this one up and put it in the pan.