The Devil Inside (Wolf Guard Book 1)

by Roxanne Lee

  Alex nodded at Sam. It seems he was well liked in the werewolf world, not many would take the time to acknowledge a lone w,olf. "Just checking on some things Sam. You know how it is. Had some news the Alpha wanted checked out. Don't suppose you'd know anything about a lost female would you?"

  Sam chuckled, his deep booming laugh and tucked me further behind him. "Dun got no lost female here. Think maybe if she lost she dun wanna be found."

  Alex crooked his head to the side, his gaze peering at me, trying to see around Sam's arm."I'd like to meet that female you've got hidden behind you."

  Sam tightened his grip around me. "Yeah. Sure ya would. Course, my land dun say nuthin' bout no second chair wolf passin' them dogs at tha' there boundary line."

  Alex whipped his head up to meet Sam's gaze, a scowl falling hard over his face."That's not very neighbourly, Sam. I'm sure the Alpha won't be too happy to hear that."

  I caught Sam's smirk as he looked back at me. "He be happy or no', dun much care. He come see me for a visit he so upset."

  Alex froze at his words. I wasn't too sure if pissing these wolves off was such a good idea right now. We had two dogs, a non shifting, ageing man and a mildly shaking girl. A pounding on the walls of my chest was causing my body to tremble. The force enough to break a rib. My hands ached at the finger tips and my vision darkened to sepia.

  Sam tapped my arm and whispered out of the corner of his mouth. "Put a leash on it, girlie."

  A second nod from Alex was less respectful. My lip lifted in warning as he left, catching his eye in my gaze. The narrowing in his scrutiny worried me; like maybe he'd seen something he was looking for.

  Chapter 9.

  We returned to the cabin without incident. I was tired by that point. Tired of struggling with restraints I couldn't hold. Tired of moving forward when every part of me just wanted to stop.

  I had a hand on Remy’s back when those wooden walls came into view. He lent me his strength and I took without thought. That animal had wormed his way in a little. Taken a piece of festering heart and returned it raw and untouched. A little bit of that black mark wiped away with his big head and juvenile abandon.

  He used that solid skull to push me up the steps to the porch, the four of them seeming like mini mountains to climb. I followed Sam into the kitchen and fell on the first chair at the table, watching as he pulled out chicken from the fridge.

  "You wan' sum soap n water ta go wit' tha' mud?"

  I looked down at my hands and blushed at the state of them. I may not have had the liberty of daily showers previously but neither did I spend my days in the forest. Sam gave me a full grin at my embarrassment.

  "Towels in tha cupboard. Wash tha' hair of yours too, dun know wha' colour it 'spose ta be but it sure ain't whatever tha' is."

  His bathroom was rather large for the size of the cabin, the toilet separate and giving the room extra space. The shower was an easy on and off switch and my first few seconds may just have been the best moment of my life.

  It's funny how little things make everything seem better: an overgrown puppy not playing with a full deck, washing in private after so long in purgatory, an old man hiding in grief holding up a girl drowning in anguish.

  I stayed under that water till the stream ran from lukewarm to bitter and the sound of Sam clanging pots in the kitchen reached under the steady beat of the water. I found an old hair dryer in the drawers below the sink and by the time I was dry I saw someone in the mirror I hadn't realised I'd missed.

  I heard Sam on the phone. Mostly grunts of what could be either approval or disagreement, it was hard to tell. I joined him in the kitchen as he hung up the phone.

  "Look like we got a visitor fo' dinner, a week maybe 'til he come."

  I quirked an eyebrow and waited for him to continue, as he normally did, in his own time.

  "Damn Alpha think he God's gift. He wanna see you, girlie, think he know everythin', think he so deservin'."

  "He can come. I'd like to meet him."

  Sam looked at me curiously. I suppose the tone of my words wasn't as neutral as I'd hoped for.

  "He comin' al-right, he goin' hav'ta show little respect round here tho', he get too much ya jus' say the word, got me a big shotgun in tha livin' room, I blow his head clean off."

  The man went straight back to preparing dinner, as if he hadn't just promised murder.

  I sat and watched him work, a calm before the storm. I had wondered what that Alpha would be like, whether he'd apologise for leaving me in that man's grip, if he even realised what he'd done. I found myself answering my own questions. An apology would, in the end, prove unsatisfying. I didn't find myself in a particularly forgiving state of mind.

  We spent the following week repeating the day. A walk in the morning, Sam teaching me to control that demon dog....him rolling on the ground in laughter as I failed more often than not. I found a simple kind of peace, one that settled deep and soft, covering chaos that bubbled beneath the surface. A makeshift trap for the beast growing ever more sadistic inside.

  He came to the sound of the two dogs barking a warning. Sam had finished cooking for the evening and the food was kept warm in the oven. We had sat in comfortable silence watching as the sun dipped lower and became a slash of red over the tree line. His steps were loud stomping up to the porch and I felt a kernel of anticipation flow through my veins.

  I watched as Sam stood, giving me a light pat on the arm. I don't know when his touch became so normal; I suppose at the same time that my body realised he was safe.

  When Sam let the Alpha in, I couldn't help but notice how much bigger he was. I guess his rank was shown clearly in his stature. He had a good few inches on Sam, no mean feat by anyone's standards. But it was his width that threw me, he had bulk that I hadn't thought possible. My father had been a big man, maybe bigger than Sam, had seemed so much bigger than me, yet this Alpha was in a league of his own. God knows how big his wolf would be. He lumbered to the table after greeting Sam in an offhand manner, he was already sinking in my expectations.

  His blue eyes snapped to mine and I swept my gaze over his face. He could have been called handsome, a symmetrical face pleasing to the eye. Strong jawline, prominent cheekbones. If it wasn't for that air of entitlement so evident on his shoulders.

  I kept his gaze as he sat in front of me, I was not going to let my eyes leave his movements.

  "You're Arya?"

  His question was more confirmation than anything else.

  "Yes." His lip turned up at my answer. He could snarl all he liked, I wasn't tacking an 'Alpha' on the end just for the sake of it. He had more to prove to me than I did to him.

  "Have a man in the hospital looking for you. A dead girl on my land that used to be my secretary, can't have humans showing up dead in my territory."

  I narrowed my eyes at him, I already didn't like the way this conversation was going. Sam had sneakily let the dogs in and they sat by his side judging the interaction, a small line of watchdogs.

  "That man kept me prisoner for four years. He killed your secretary when she tried to save me....while you sat on your chair of vaulted incompetence."

  His answering rumble shook the table he lent on. Sam stood quickly and put a hand on each tense animal. I smiled at his sneer, a tingle in my gut. Reaching fingers pushing, probing, trying to find an escape.

  "Watch yourself, little girl. I don't answer to lesser wolves."

  Those words seethed inside me. I'd locked those words away. Behind big steel doors, a bank vault of trappings to soothe the creature deep within.

  Those prodding fingers, they clawed their way higher. I felt the scratching as high as my throat, bypassing the leash at my chest.

  "You done girlie? Wan' me ta get ol' Sal? She waitin' in tha' livin' room, ya jus' gotta calm that ragin'."

  I tried to listen to Sam, I really did. I clenched my hands to fists. Breathed deep and even, shut my eyes to the arrogant wolf in front of me.

  There's a point
when everything stops. When the air around you becomes thick with tension, when the shouting of men to calm your anger quietens to a buzz in your ears. When a dogs rumble of warning goes unheeded. When you're pushed passed the point of return.

  I heard cracking echoing in my brain.

  A searing push of fire under my skin.

  Molten lava shooting from my fingertips.

  Glowing embers melting through my core.

  Excruciating burn that thrilled the sinful being clothed in a pretence of normal.

  I suppose it could have been called painful.

  But I knew pain and this wasn't it.

  Power comes in many variations and when I looked down at myself, when that conflagration withered to dust, I saw power in my every sinew.

  Sam caught my wolf's attention first. An old weathered man struggling with a flickering wolf in his hands. Two snarling beasts with a giant muscled forearm in each jaw. Red rivers of blood running down their coats. Whether from the pierced skin in between their teeth or the claw marks slashed across their sides, it was hard to tell. I felt a haze in my mind, a block on human reasoning. That blood an attraction I couldn't resist. That Alpha a prey my wolf couldn't abide.

  He became locked in my sights, a crimson stare of raw violence.

  A yelp from a black pup pulled a roar from my gut.

  The crash of a friend thrown into a wall. The crumple of a canine falling to the floor.

  A flash of his fangs, lips pulled back in a leer. Those demon's claws sinking deep into meat.

  An old man's gasp as that mutant hand pulls back, claws still stuck in his bleeding gut.

  Rage is such a simple thing. No thought or plan to every action. No hesitation, no second doubts. Four thundering paws moving faster than thought, a heavy flank tensing and releasing in habitual ease.

  I came back to share a space with a raging wolf as we shot across the kitchen. I saw Sam bleeding on the floor, a pool of claret in his lap. Luce had a hold of one thick forearm, his body being shaken in the air like a pest being removed. His distraction was enough, I gave no thought to the outcome, I had a target in sight and my wolf had a one track mind. I'm sure my black coat swept across his vision but I was blindingly fast and my teeth struck gold.

  His throat was thick skinned and a couple of feet higher than my elevation. I took a flying leap, the ease with which I gained such height gave me a moment of glory. My paws landed on his heaving chest. My teeth dug in and savaged at the flesh, my head shaking and tearing till sticky redness poured down my coat. My body followed his to the floor, my jaws aching from the death grip they held. I revelled in this new position. I encased his entire throat in a massive muzzle, grinding and pulling and tearing at meat.

  I got down to bone, his struggles long gone. My wolf seemed to understand that only headless would do. Razor sharp teeth cut through cartilage with a gnawing cracking and his huge wolf's head dropped limp on the ground.

  I turned around to Sam’s puff of breath and whined at the growing stain on his trousers as he panted out air.

  "You a big fucker, ain't ya?"

  Chapter 10.

  What are you?

  There are few things I know for definite.

  I know my past begets my future.

  I know my actions now rebound on others.

  And I know these three, these blooded three, were now woven into parts of me.

  My wolf on the other hand needed a bit more convincing.

  I was not an accident. Not a genetic mash up of old and new. I was more than one but less than the other.

  Maybe I’m just a different path, a split in the middle of evolutions course. A broken branch on a tree, a left turn on a straight Road.

  I looked like an old wolf.

  I moved like an old wolf.

  There were differences though that I'd have to be blind not to see. Larger for starters, as Sam so eloquently pointed out.

  A wolf the size of an African Lion. Paws and limbs as grandly contrived. That brawn and tissue as copiously built. A wildcats crushing jaw on a hounds sleek face.

  I sat in wolf form for a while. That part of me taking over and not willing to cede control. Lording over the kill she'd made, snapping at damaged, dishevelled dogs venturing too close. That sable pelt coated in gore proudly displayed on a distended chest.

  From behind those suspicious, sombre eyes I watched Sam slowly knit together. A six inch gash halved in an hour, that pouring blood slowing to a stop, a pool made shallow by his absorbent clothes. He was healing, slower than normal but better than not. A deep breath left my wolf's dignified frame. She might be temperamental but she had an understanding of what the human inside wanted.

  "You wan' ta take tha' hell hound outside for a while. She work all those issues she have ou'."

  I pushed inside my beast, nudging her away from her prize and the competition she seemed to have going on with dogs I didn't want to maul.

  "Dun you worry, I be fine. Bleedin' all ova' tha floor..... "

  I think I managed a decent animal interpretation of a sigh.

  Everything was different in this form, sharpened, finer. The smells overloaded my brain until I ran in circles chasing one, only to get distracted by another. A consensus of scent and vision that provided a much needed diversion for the simmering antagonism still kindling.

  I chased wild rabbits.

  A murderous slaughter ensued.

  I came to the realisation that my wolf had been made certifiable. A product of one's environment.

  Blood seemed to soothe the savage beast and my fur melted away on returning to the cabin. My knees hit the ground mid change, burned out from overuse. I regressed back to crawling, not willing to stay outside naked in full view. I'd had enough of naked and I'd lost those clothes that were, something just mine, when I'd snapped those chains.

  Sam had left a robe on the porch. That man just kept growing in my estimation. I found him sat at the table, black tar in hand, a suspicious scent of whisky emanating from his seat, another cup set in my normal place.

  "You hungry?"

  I shook my head, the rabbits were enough for me. We sat a while longer, me staring at Sam just waiting for that conversation to start.

  "Guess tha' trainin' didn' work out all tha' well afta."

  No I guess not. I didn’t know if maybe it was just the right time or I should have tried harder to keep her caged. She was out now though, for better or worse.

  "Least ya didn' eat me I 'spose."

  I gave him a withering glare. Old man probably tasted of fermented alcohol anyway.

  "We goin' have sum company real soon. Tha' pack know their Alpha gone, they be callin' in all sorts o' folk."

  I knew the 'folk' he meant. They were the wolves you called when all else failed. An imperial guard that had outlived the aristocracy. That pack would be fumbling right now, a dead Alpha was an unusual thing nowadays. Wolves so strong it would take something more than the usual to relieve him of his head.

  The guard would be coming alright. Sent in to find the crazed animal that killed an Alpha. I had met them once before, a long time ago when my father was still alive and he left those ranks for his family. Big wolves, every one of them. Had to be I suppose for the job they did, a military police force governed by those low on responsibility and high on self importance. I'd seen that clear enough, even as a twelve year old too impressed with the guards ominous presence to take much notice of the men pulling the strings.

  I'd only seen them training in rooms passed while attached to my father's arm. Eyes wide in astonishment at the power, fluidity of movement and searing grace such fighting contained. They trained with weapons, long swords of flashing steel, bending and flowing in dance, music in motion to behold.

  They didn't need those flashy blades though. Every single one, the biggest damn human you'd ever see. Claws freely displayed on a man's immense hand. It took years to be able to control that; the ability to shift parts of your body. Keeping the wolf locked in w
hile pieces of him breached the surface. I figured those guards must be centuries old at least and I wondered at the men who allowed self serving old fools the key to their collar.

  The Captain of the guard, an Alpha if I ever saw one, had been a man too terrifying to look at. Murder evident in his charcoal stare. I'd met his gaze only once and hadn't had the strength to keep it. I was different girl now though to what I'd been then; some parts soiled and sullied, some parts durable and fortified. The way karma was turning out for me, I'm sure I could expect him real soon. "Have you met them? The Captain?"

  Sam’s face pulled in a wide grin. "Oh yeah. Fearsom' little buggers ain't they? Came ta clean up tha' war I tol' you abou'. Tha' man..." he shook his shoulders in a parody of shivers, "....he a predator tha' for sure. Rules them guards wit' iron. Neva' seen nobody like him befo'."

  His big grin faded to serious."Reckon he hear ya ou' tho'. Didn' have much time fo' no pig headed Alpha, even back then."

  A feeling had come over me. So similar to that time I had looked into Clara's dead eyes and seen my own failures staring back at me. "I'm sorry Sam. I should have tried harder, not dragged you into my mess."

  His quirked eyebrow surprised me."Dun need no apology from ya. Tha' man was an ass. From wha' I heard, he had sum comin' ta him, shoulda been a better man. Shoulda done his job righ'."

  His face was an honest justification of all I had gotten us into and I was forever grateful for his unending spirit. He stood up and put his empty cup in the sink. Mine still full, sat mutating in front of me. God, the man really needed to learn how to make coffee.

  He walked to the archway leading through to the living room.

  "Get sum sleep girlie, no doubt we have guests tomorro'." His walk was stiff, his body probably pulling on that recently healed wound.

  "Hey, Sam."

  He turned around, Luce appearing stiffly at his side.

  "You three are okay though, right?"

  His booming chuckle was a welcome sound in a house too thick with thoughts of sunrise. "We fine, girlie.....nice ta know ya care tho'."