by Roxanne Lee
"So I'm normal?"
That set him off again. "Oh lass, you anything but normal." My frown did nothing to deter him.
"But yes, your wolf ain't that different. Just unusual that's all, some say you'll be what we'll all end up as. The best of both worlds, ain't that right?"
I shrugged, I saw perfection in all wolf forms, slight advantages to each.
"Tell me, why didn’t you get away?"
I screwed my face up, only now realising his smile had dropped and his hazel eyes were focused entirely on me.
"Did you want it ta happen?"
I couldn't get passed the confusion, what was he talking about? Had I missed something?
His face turned up into a cruel smirk, "Did you like it? Did you like what that man did ta you?"
My wolf rumbled within but I held onto her, he couldn't mean what I thought could he?
"That why you donae want Carver ta touch you? 'Cause you want that man?"
I think my breathing stopped as my eyes widened in shock, my hands clenched into fists and I stared at the redhead in front of me.
His eyes narrowed at mine and that smirk only got wider, "You wanna hit me lass? Either you liked it or you're weak, ain't no other option."
My teeth ground against each and I heard cracking in my brain as the enamel broke."What are you doing Duncan?"
He stepped forward a pace, putting him too close for comfort and allowing me to see the sweat running down the creases in his crinkled brow. "I'm showing you how weak you are Arya. You think this is bad, you can't take this? I think you're lying ta me. You should have incredible control over your wolf, I see you controlling everything else but her."
I shook my head, he knew nothing about my situation, how could he do this? "You're so wrong."
He only stepped closer,"Am I? Then why is this bothering you? You have all that power under your skin, why haven’t you killed him yet?"
I growled low at him, a burning acid in my gut working it's way up my throat. "I’m...waiting" I ground out through clenched teeth.
"Oh Yeah.? Watcha waiting for lass? You donae need control ta kill him, in fact that kinda gets in the way of the killing."
Duncan stepped back and bent to the side of the mat, he strapped thick padding to his thigh and turned back to face me. "We're moving on ta kicks now. Maybe when we're done, you can convince me that you're not a weak and scared little girl who's taking out her anger on all those around her."
I flinched at that. A weak and scared little girl. He'd hit a home run with that comment and left nothing but that burning acid behind, torching it's way on a path of silent agony and faithless uncertainty. I hated that comment, it brought nothing but memories of pain and humiliation. But more than that it brought truth slamming it's way through my closed mind.
"Donae look so down lass. We knock you down and we build you up. You'll hate me, but you'll be better for it."
I looked at him differently, a man who'd seemed nothing but a cheerful, strong wolf. Maybe he had a little more to him than that first glance. I hesitantly nodded and took an opposing stance to him.
He grinned again at me, "What was that girls name? That human you killed?"
I blinked at him, my wolf glaring beneath my skin. "I didn't kill her." I seethed between a hiss of breath and a tightly wound jaw.
He frowned," Oh you didn't? Coulda sworn that's what you said."
I shook my head again and took deep calming breaths, pulling in sweat scented air and breathing out slicked oil, tar that clogged my arteries, filling every hollow part with blackened stains of shame. Not my fault, his.
"I didn't kill her." I reiterated, tried to make it strong and sure in statement.
Duncan smirked again, latching onto yet another vice he'd found in my armour. "Sure you didn't lass", as he quirked an eyebrow.
"Give me a roundhouse on your right leg, if you can't reach you're gonna keep doing it till you can get that pathetically formed limb high enough."
My wolf flashed eyes at Duncan, she really did not like this man right now. I hooked her in chains, swallowed any pride I had left and forced my heavy limbs into action. My wolf was strong and powerful, a force of nature whipping her way through disrespect and smashing her way through Duncan’s words. The human though was missing, missing the same certainty of their worth. The animal had no wavering thought on her strength, she was a perfect creation. I was flawed in many ways, maybe this was what he'd teach me. That, or I'd end up killing him.
I grunted in effort as my leg met his, a resounding slap of the power of my kick introduced to the thick padding strapped to his thigh.
Duncan sighed, "Weak. Again!"
I heaved a breath, knowing that this was only the start. That he would keep me going until I fell, either in exhaustion or failure. I'd just about had enough of failure.
I kept striking that huge thigh, encased in rubber and foam filling. The slaps became deep pounds as my form became more in tune with the movement, as my muscles learnt through repetition and as my quick temper became locked behind a steel vault of concentration and slow burning fury.
I was not weak, not any more. And this guard would never convince me otherwise, no matter what words came out of his mouth. He wasn't like Lane, a tortured man synchronising with my soul. Not like Charlie, a puzzle of ease and frenzy that caused wonder in both myself and my wolf. He was something else.
He was happy only hours later, when the sun started to dip in the sky leaving behind a narrow river of gold, lowlights of treasure spanning the dew covered yellowed land. He seemed content with my progress, maybe happy had been too strong a word. He walked me to the doors leading to freedom and I trailed slightly behind him, no longer sure of the man he had shown himself to be.
"Duncan?" I called out a nagging question stuck in my mind.
He turned slightly and eyed me through a narrowed gaze, "Yes?"
I pursed my lips and stared at his hazel eyes, both friend and foe swirling within the centuries evident within. "Why would you think I killed her?"
He grinned at me, partly that cheeky smile I'd come to know and partly the new smirk I wasn't sure of. "It's not what I think is it lass? It's what you believe."
I frowned at him,"What do you think then?"
He laughed at me, "I think it'll all come out in the end. Nothing stays hidden that deep forever." He winked at me as he nodded at the approaching Carver and walked off path towards the woods surrounding us.
I stood waiting for my Captain to reach me, confident that he was a solid wall at my back, strong enough to hold even my battered soul up. Watching the retreating Duncan and following him with confusion misting over my gaze. Just when I thought I had at least the guards figured out, another spanner thrown in the works.
A gravelly voice shivered it's way down my neck, lips close enough to graze my skin. "You have fun today cherry?"
I breathed deeply, allowing that cinnamon to work it's magic on my nerves. "Not what I'd call fun exactly."
Carver chuckled, a warmth billowing through my chest, chasing away the coldness left by Duncan and his unique brand of training.
"I told Sam I'd cook for you tonight," he rumbled against my ear. "I want to feed my mate." I felt an almost nothing touch, a run of his fingers down my arm and the raise of hairs that bowed in his wake.
I shook myself out of my own head, tired and aching and seriously needing a bath. "I need to soak, for like twelve hours."
Carver chuckled again, that laugh did wondrous things for my wired nerves."I got you cherry scented bath salts, can't wait to smell that on your skin." He breathed deeply against my neck, inhalations that tickled the sensitive area until I fell victim to his relaxing, protective presence. I let my guard down, became soft and pliant against him.
"I'd like to carry you home Arya, if you'd let me?"
I let my eyes droop close and for just a moment, trusted the arms that gently wound their way around me and inched my body into compliance. He clasped me in a light
but firm hold and made me feel nothing but safe. It was contrary to every other feeling I had towards touch, a safety in the most unlikely place.
I allowed him to carry me all the way home. My trust in this man reviving, trust he had yet to break. I had grown since I'd found him, no longer the savage I'd first been, fighting demon's that only I could see. Now I was feral, a little uncouth in a civilised world but here, with him, it was okay to be as animal or as human as I wanted. I reached out and touched the lips twitching in smiles as he held me in his arms. His eyes lightened in utter reverence as my touch registered. A tiny hint of beauty in a world gone mad with barbarity.
Chapter 29.
"Morning Arya."
Lane's face was a mixture of blacks and blues. His puffy lips were split in a macabre parody of a smile. It seemed Carver had finally caught up with him at some point early this morning. His maniacal grin proved he had enjoyed every single moment of his newly acquired bruises.
I raised my eyebrows at him and shook my head, there was something very wrong with that man. We stood in front of a convoy of vehicles, four of those all black ATV’s lined up waiting for their passengers. Another three smaller trucks were grouped behind just waiting for the call to go, showing yet more of that overkill the guard were so fond of. A gathering of twenty men stood silently awaiting orders on the lawn surrounding the farmhouse. Charlie and Duncan whispered quietly to each other off to the side, low enough for even my newly enhanced hearing to miss. Remy sat on his haunches staring at the collective of guards, drool running down his jaw as he kept his mouth wide open revealing sharp teeth. His head butted my leg every now and then before he went back to stare-drooling, I think I preferred his previous snoring to this new habit.
Sam ambled down the front steps of the porch, Luce glued to his side, his wide grin almost as maniacal as Lanes.
"Mornin'. Well ain't tha' a pretty face ya got boy? Look like ya lost a figh' wit' a big ass truck."
Lane grunted at Sam and rolled his eyes, a tiny glimmer in the greyness showed through with what I now knew to be amusement. Sam nudged my shoulder with his and turned his gaze to mine.
"We gotta whole lotta fun planned today girlie," he chuckled at Lane for a moment, "got a hundred on how many heads roll between you an' ya boyfrien'. I'm bettin' on five, dun be disappointin' me, blondie ova' there got more money than me."
I stared at Sam completely unamused,"You're betting on how many governors we kill?"
Sam just shrugged and grinned mischievously at me. "Wha'? Man gets bored all by himself while ya out wit' them guards all day."
I sighed and went back to patting Remy on the head, he seemed the most intelligent one out of the lot of them right now. Carver appeared out of the front door, long legs encased in black and a wide chest restricted by a matching shirt that failed to hide any of the sculpted mass beneath. No matter how many times I saw that man, his image would always take my breath away. My eyes followed the long line of bunching muscle as it contracted in movement, his gait a motion of heavy grace. His black eyes locked on me and I was trapped. A prisoner to his presence, tied up in all that he projected. The grouped guards stilled all movement and became frozen in the power that stretched and ebbed in the crisp air. It was a thrilling moment to realise how much I'd been given in one package, how truly grateful I should be. Fate could wait for her thanks though, it would be a long time coming.
Carver snapped his eyes to Charlie and nodded at him, his second responded with a "move out" to the guards and every vehicle was soon full to the brim of tense, focused wolves. He took my hand in his and rubbed his cheek with my palm, those tingles an orchestra of sensation on the sensitive skin. I was led to the first truck in a daze of cinnamon and deep, charcoal eyes. Carver sat me in the front seat and closed the door with a low chuckle and a fleeting kiss to my forehead. I blinked as my sudden addiction was cruelly cut off at the closed door and turned around to see Sam and Lane in the back seats. The Old man was slyly grinning at me while Lane looked thoroughly unimpressed with the large dog panting in his face. I had fed them both eggs this morning, my mouth twitched at the sour expression crossing the blonde's bruised features.
I was kept occupied the entire half an hour journey by Sam’s ribbing of Lane and Carver's free hand rubbing tiny, almost non existent circles on my Jean covered thigh. I stared at his hand curiously, I felt no burning need to remove it and that in itself caused enough confusion for the whole ride. We came to a clearing surrounded by forest, a large slate roofed building occupying the gravelled ground. Ten or so cars were parked to the right side and I assumed this meant our meeting was already in session. Half the trucks had peeled off before we had entered the short driveway and I was pretty sure we were already being sighted by Carver's men, a silent watch of rigid wolves.
We parked on the opposite side to the others and Carver was out of the vehicle and by my side before I'd even take the seat belt off. The air was thick with unspoken words and as he took my hand in his and walked me to the front door, Sam and Lane covering my back and the dogs at my feet, he turned and caught my attention with a squeeze.
"Promise you'll stay by me cherry?"
His husky voice was loaded with wolf and I worried his control was within snapping distance. I nodded and squeezed his hand back, "You stay by me too."
His chuckle was light relief in the face of uncertainty. I was however not inordinately concerned. Not only had Carver gone completely overboard with the guards at our back, I was also utterly confident in the Captain's ability. The governors may have some claim to rule but they were not more than the man beside me. They were older, questionably wiser, but not stronger. In our world, strength relied on nothing but genetics and circumstance. Age did not give you power that you were not born with. This undoubtedly caused these ruling men some of their greed and envy.
We entered the building by a large steel door, bolted to the heavy hinges and no doubt impossible for a human to open. I had a moment of amusement at the pains taken to make these buildings wolf-proof, I'm sure the cost of replacing previous doors had led to this solid steel one being attached.
The hallway was dark in its foreboding and ridiculously crowded with all the wolves at my back. A low hum of voices could be heard from a closed door at the end of the long corridor. I walked quickly towards it, claustrophobic in the crowded narrowness. At the door, Carver gently pulled me behind him and I rolled my eyes at the wall his back had become. I could feel Sam and Lane behind me, the dogs brushing up against my legs and somewhere behind my group, Charlie and Duncan’s presence heavy in the atmosphere.
I followed Carver's steady footsteps and the hush of voices was a flow of loaded silence in a room full of barely contained primitivism. I peeked out from behind Carver's back, a narrow space between one large arm and his side provided me with ample viewing. I met the gaze of every single man standing in groups at the far wall and was left unimpressed by all but four of them.
Fifteen wolves in human form took seats in a row of overblown importance and I sneered at the sight they presented. The four in the middle acknowledged Carver with smiles, some sly and some grim. I paid no heed to any but one. A man tall enough to meet Carver's eyes when standing and a gaze black enough to rival his own.
"Father." Carver nodded at the man.
My gaze turned feral as my wolf rumbled at the man keeping me behind him, a single claw forced it's way out of my forefinger and I took great pleasure in stabbing the tip into Carver's side. Blood pooled quickly around the wound and I smiled at Carver's wince and in drawn breath of air. Had he thought that wasn't important information? That perhaps I didn't need to know?
He was lucky to escape with just the one mark.
His grip on my wrist tightened and he drew me to his side, his eyebrow raised at my glare. He turned back to his Father and gestured in my direction.
"This is my mate, Arya."
His father stood with a dark smile, his size rivalling his sons but coming up just short. "It'
s lovely to meet you Arya."
I cocked my head towards him and nodded in return, I was keeping my mouth shut for the moment and his smile was an answer that he understood my position.
"Would you care to sit?"
There were chairs stacked to the side and Duncan broke formation to haul enough over to us. I took a place next to Carver though I had an overwhelming urge to ignore him and sit beside Sam instead. That of course was until his father turned to Sam and smiled a welcome.
"Samuel, good to see you."
I narrowed eyes at Sam, when we got out of here I was going to get some answers from him.
Carver's father returned to his seat once we found ours and ran a hand through his thick mop of black hair. He was truly a copy of the man beside me, a little more worn around the edges, a little less overbearing in his nature, but it was obvious to see Carver was an overgrown, carbon copy of the original.
"Arya, my name is Fraser." Carver's father held my gaze as I studied his face. "You have been called here because of the incident involving the Alpha of the Moonshadow pack."
Lane's snort behind me was distracting from Fraser’s rumbling tone. He turned irritated eyes on the blonde sat at my back before flicking them at me again."Would you like to explain the circumstances?"
I peered at the man sat at the head of the row of governors, a brunette at his side was sneering at me and his disrespect was antagonising the animal now pacing within. "No."
The row of men stilled all movement and Carver's hand clenched where it lay loosely on his thigh.
"Excuse me?"
I shrugged at the chosen speaker,"I don't have to explain my actions, he was weak and challenged my wolf, he died."
A few rumbles were heard from the bench and I rolled my eyes at the sound, I couldn't comprehend why they would want such a weak Alpha in charge of a pack anyway.