“Relieved?”
“Yeah.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I needed someone tell me this is really happening. Everything’s been so up in the air lately, at least something was in black-and-white, you know?”
“Huh. I hadn’t thought of it that way, but it makes sense.”
“As much sense as anything in this situation can make.” She blew out a breath. “I guess I should give my light duty chit to Gutiérrez.”
“You’re still on leave until tomorrow.”
“Yeah, but I might as well get it over with.” She shivered in spite of the tropical heat. “How long do you think it’ll take till Stanton finds out?”
“Depends.” I squeezed her hand. “Do you want to let him find out? Or tell him?”
“I don’t even want to look at him.” She shuddered.
“I don’t blame you.”
Kim shifted her weight. “Then again, if I tell him to his face, at least I get to be the one in control.”
“Good point. Assuming he doesn’t try to put a hand on you.” I tightened my grasp. “If he does, I swear to God—”
“Threatening me into getting an abortion is one thing.” She met my eyes as she ran her thumb along my finger. “Getting violent and possibly causing me to miscarry? I don’t think even Stanton is that stupid.”
“Let’s hope.”
“Yeah. But . . . Ugh. I can’t deal with him. Not right this second. I think I’ll start with Gutiérrez.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
Her eyes widened. “Will you?”
“Of course. When do you want to go?”
“The sooner the better.”
I glanced at my watch. “He’s probably in the office right now.”
“Let’s go.”
Alejandro’s office door was open as usual, and MA1 Harris wasn’t around.
“MA1?” I said. “You busy?”
He looked up from a logbook. “Oh. I didn’t expect you back until tomorrow.” He glanced past me. “Either of you.”
“We’re still on leave.” I gestured for Kim to follow me, and she shut the door behind us. “But MA3 needed to speak to you.”
“Oh. Uh, okay.”
Kim cleared her throat and handed him a folded piece of paper. “I need to go on light duty.”
“Light duty?” His features tightened with confusion, and then he looked at the chit he’d taken from her. His lips parted. His eyes flicked toward me, then to Kim, eyebrows rising. “Is this . . .” He glanced at me again.
Shoulders pushed back, Kim shifted her weight. “Until I have the baby. And then, of course, I’ll need to take some maternity leave.”
He pressed his lips together, and maybe he couldn’t quite hide it, or maybe I just knew him too well, but I saw the Oh, shit . . . flickering across his face, plain as day. He quickly schooled his expression, though. “All right. Uh, it looks like you’ll be on dispatch for a while.”
Kim grimaced. “That’s the only thing available?”
“Yeah. Most of admin’s overstaffed right now.” He shrugged. “Dispatch is all I’ve got.”
Her shoulders fell. “There isn’t anything over on Kadena? Like in Pass & ID or something?”
Alejandro studied her, a million questions written in his creased brow. “I’d, uh, have to call and find out, but they haven’t been asking for bodies, so . . .”
Kim glanced at me. So did Alejandro.
I chewed my lip. “MA3, would you mind excusing us for a minute?”
They both tensed, but Alejandro said nothing, and Kim quickly slipped out of the office.
When the door closed behind her, I faced him. “Would I be out of line asking you to get her into Pass & ID as a personal favor?”
“A personal—” Alejandro put up his hands. “Okay, can we back up a second here? I mean, what exactly is going on? I thought she went to Hawaii so she could get—”
“Did she tell you that?”
His mouth opened, but he quickly closed it, and his posture stiffened.
I folded my arms. “Or did he tell you?”
Alejandro swallowed. “It doesn’t take much to put two and two together.”
“Then I don’t need to spell it out, do I?”
“Uh, no.” He glanced at the door. “But she just told me she’s having the baby.”
I nodded.
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Jesus Christ.” Dropping his hand, he added, “She’s playing with fire, Reese.”
“Actually, she’s playing with a very shitty hand and doing the best she can with it.”
“What did she think was going to happen when she—” He shook his head. “Seriously, is she surprised this happened?”
I swallowed the bile rising in my throat, reminding myself over and over that he didn’t know the whole story. “Somehow I don’t think Stanton thought it all the way through, either, but—”
“I’m not saying he was any less of an idiot, but the fact is her involvement is a lot harder to hide than his. Any idiot would know that sleeping with a higher-up like that would make the—”
“For God’s sake,” I hissed. “Who do you really think was in control of that situation?”
“She’s an adult,” he snapped. “If I have to string up all the other idiots who do stupid things while they’re drunk, I can’t be bending over backward for her for doing the same fucking thing.”
I ground my teeth. I was already dangerously close to tipping my hand. “Would it really be that much of a hassle for you? To get her out of this precinct for a little while?”
“There’s only so much I can do and you know it.”
“I think you have more options than you’re letting on. My question is how worried are you that those options would affect your chances of making chief?”
He narrowed his eyes. “You’re out of line, MA2.”
I bristled. “Sorry, MA1.”
We glared at each other.
He folded his arms across his camo blouse. “You know, a week or two ago, you were pissed at me for even asking you to make sure she was all right. Now you want me to jump through hoops to keep her away from the father of her kid. What the fuck is—”
“What I want is for you to step up and help one of your Sailors. If you can find time in between kissing Lieutenant Stanton’s ass.”
He blinked, and my teeth snapped shut. Friend or not, he was still my LPO.
“You know me,” he growled. “And you know damn well this isn’t about kissing anyone’s ass.”
“Isn’t it? Because it seems to me you’ve gotten pretty friendly with Stanton recently.”
He rolled his eyes and exhaled sharply. “I’m friendly with Chief and Senior Chief, too, and I don’t like them any more than I like him.”
“So it’s all political games.”
“You know how this shit works.”
“Yeah, I do. So is that the only reason you’ll dig your heels in when it comes to protecting one of your Sailors?”
“Protecting?” He threw up his hands. “From what? It isn’t like she’s the one who has to go home and face the spouse she cheated on.” He gestured in the general direction of Stanton’s office. “He’s got a hell of a lot more to lose than she does.”
“Then maybe he should’ve thought of that, shouldn’t he?”
“Isn’t like he can do anything about it now.” He waved sharply at the door. “Especially since she’s apparently taken it upon herself to not do anything.”
My mouth fell open. “You really think she should have gone through with it? Just so he didn’t have to face his wife or—”
“No, that is not what I’m saying,” he snarled. “I’m saying she’s the one in control here, not him. So I’m hard-pressed to handle her with kid gloves.” He stabbed a finger at me. “And you of all people know exactly why because you wanted nothing to do with this whole situation. What the fuck has changed?”
“I was wrong,” I whispe
red. “About her.”
He studied me. Then one eyebrow climbed his forehead. “How wrong? You went from not being able to look at her, to dashing off to Hawaii to be with her, to . . .” He pushed out a breath. “Please tell me you and she aren’t—”
“That’s none of your fucking business.” I regretted the words before they were even out. I might as well have scrawled Guilty as charged across my forehead.
His other eyebrow rose, and his lips tightened. “So tell me how this conversation isn’t a conflict of interest.”
“Is it any more of one than you and Chief patting Stanton on the back for dodging a bullet so his wife didn’t find out about what happened?”
Alejandro jumped so hard I thought he was going to fall backward.
“Yes, I overheard you.” I curled my lip in disgust.
His expression hardened. “Don’t act like you’re a saint here. It wasn’t very long ago you’d have been standing right there with me, and you probably would’ve had some choice words about her behavior.”
“You’re right. I would have.” I raised my chin and glared back at him. “But I was wrong. Very, very wrong. And right now, she needs help from the few people she can trust in her chain of command, which pretty much boils down to you and me.”
He watched me silently for a moment. “Is there something more to this story?”
I opened my mouth to reply, but stopped before I said anything Kim and I would both regret. “No. Just . . . a really shitty situation and two people who really don’t need to be tripping over each other every day at work.”
Alejandro shook his head. “Look, I don’t envy her for the situation she’s in, but she’s a grown-ass adult who made a decision. If they’re in a shitty situation or things are awkward between them, I can only do so much. I’m not a goddamned babysitter.”
I bit back some blistering insubordination and lowered my voice. “Will you at least call Pass & ID and see if she can work there for a while?”
“I’ll call them.” He shrugged. “I can’t make any promises.”
“Thank you.” I paused. “MA1.”
His eyebrows flicked up, and then he set his jaw. “Dismissed, MA2.”
I barely kept myself from slamming his office door behind me.
Reese stepped out of Gutiérrez’s office, and I took a step back.
“What . . . what happened? You look like you’re ready to hit someone.”
She took a deep breath and released slowly. “I need a cigarette.”
I followed her out of the precinct and up to the smoke pit.
“So, what did he say?” I asked.
She lit her cigarette and pocketed the lighter. “Well, he’s looking into Pass & ID.”
“Awesome. Thank you.”
She brought the cigarette back up to her lips. “I don’t know how hard he’s going to look, to be honest.”
“Damn it.”
“There isn’t much he can do.” She glanced at me through the thin cloud of smoke. “God knows whose side he’s on these days, but I do know that without a formal complaint, he’ll be hard-pressed to justify separating the two of you.”
Sighing, I nodded. “I know.”
“And even if you go over to Kadena to work in Pass & ID, you’ll still technically be working for Stanton.”
“Fine.” I waved a hand. “I just can’t be in the same building with him every day.”
“I know.” She took a long drag and blew out the smoke. “I don’t even like being on the same island with him.”
“Tell me about it. And I . . . Fuck, I need to talk to him.” I stood a little straighter and steeled myself. “So he knows I didn’t get the abortion.”
Reese chewed her lip. “Are you sure?”
I nodded. “Better he hears it from me sooner than later. In fact, I’m going to do that now before my light duty chit gets to his desk.” I turned to go.
“Kim.” She stopped me with a hand on my arm. “You shouldn’t face him on your own.”
Eyes locked on hers, I gently freed my elbow. “I need to. I need him to know I’m not afraid of him.”
“Are you afraid of him?”
I moistened my lips. “Of course I am.” The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. “But I don’t want him to know that.”
“Are you sure about this?”
“Yeah.”I think. “There isn’t much he can do in the office. Not with so many people around.”
“True. But still . . .”
“I’ll be okay.” I took a step toward the precinct but glanced back. “Will you be here?”
“Of course.” She dropped her cigarette and crushed it under her sneaker. “I’ll wait for you in dispatch, so I’ll be right down the hall.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
Back inside, I steeled myself and headed toward Stanton’s office. His door was closed as always, so I knocked.
“Come in.”
I took a deep breath—I can do this—and pushed open the door.
“MA3.” He sat back in his chair. “I wasn’t expecting to see you until tomorrow.”
“My flight came in this morning, Sir.”
He looked me up and down. “And how are you feeling?”
“I’ll be fine, Sir.” I reached into my pocket and withdrew the wrinkled envelope of cash. “I just came to give this back to you.”
He eyed it but didn’t reach for it. “What is that?”
“The money.” I set it on his desk. “I’m returning it.” The clinic had charged me for the cancellation, but I’d been able to scrounge up enough to cover the difference so I could pay every dime back to Stanton. No way in hell was I going to be in debt to a son of a bitch like him.
He picked up the envelope and lifted the flap enough to see the cash inside. Then his eyes flicked up to meet mine. “You had medical do it, then.”
“No.” I stood straighter, setting my jaw. “I canceled it, Sir.”
His lips pulled into a thin line, and he rose. “What do you mean, you canceled it?”
“I mean, I canceled it. I’m not having it done.” I swallowed. “Sir.”
He came around the desk, every step slow and calculated. I refused to budge. No way in hell.
He stopped in front of me and folded his arms. “So if you weren’t taking care of this situation, then what the fuck were you doing while you were on leave?”
“I’m not sure how that’s any of your—”
“I signed an emergency leave chit for MA2 Marion to fly out there to be with you. Not so the two of you could fuck around in Hawaii.”
I forced myself to hold his gaze. “I went to the clinic but then decided I couldn’t go through with it.”
He laughed humorlessly. “You decided you couldn’t go through with it.”
“Yes, Sir.”
The laughter vanished, and the sudden fury in his eyes made my stomach clench. “You’re a fucking idiot, MA3.”
“Why?” My voice shook. “I’m not the one who fucked an unwilling woman. Without a condom, no less.”
His features hardened even more, and suddenly I wished I had brought Reese in here. He wouldn’t be stupid enough to get violent, would he? If he did, every MA within earshot would be here in seconds. Wouldn’t they?
Because the man who’d forced me to have sex with him was certainly rational enough not to get violent when cornered.
Pregnant women are at a much higher risk for domestic violence.
Oh fuck.
I gulped.
His lips pulled into a bleached line. “Let’s get one thing straight, right here, right now. No one in this command is going to believe for a second that I raped you. And you know damn well I didn’t.”
“Do I?”
His eyebrows rose. “You seem to be forgetting you’re speaking to a superior officer, MA3.”
“A married superior officer who had sex with a petty officer third class under his command?” My heart dropped as I realized I’d said it out loud.
&nb
sp; “I would suggest you watch your step, MA3.” He leaned in just enough to make me draw back. “Because there is a hell of a lot more on the line here than you think.”
“Like what?”
“I believe you mean, like what, Sir?”
I swallowed. “Like what, Sir?”
“Your career, for one.”
In spite of my pounding heart and shaking legs, I managed to snarl, “And yours, Sir.”
“Yes. And mine.” He raised his hand, and I flinched, but he didn’t hit me. Instead, he put his hand against the door beside my head, and now he was looming over me, so close I could almost feel his breath on my skin. Again.
“You should be aware,” he growled, almost whispering, “that I will fight tooth and nail to keep you from damaging my career, my reputation, and my marriage. And no one is going to believe a notorious whore with only one chevron on her shoulder over me.” He leaned in even closer, until our faces were nearly touching and I couldn’t draw back any farther because of the door behind me. “Am I clear, MA3?”
I refused to break eye contact. “Yes, Sir.”
“Good.” He stepped back.
Oh thank God. I could breathe again. I flattened my palms against the door, leaning hard against it so my knees wouldn’t shake out from under me.
Stanton was quiet but only for a moment. “Whatever you choose to do, mark my words. If it goes on record that this kid is mine, I will make sure you regret it.” He snatched the envelope off the desk and shoved it toward me. “I’d suggest you get it done.”
I took the envelope, glanced down at it, then up at him. “Noted, Sir.”
And then I got the fuck out of there before I lost what little nerve I had left.
Outside, I shoved the envelope into my pocket, leaned against the wall, and waited for my heartbeat to slow down.
So much for not letting him intimidate me.
“Kim?” Reese’s voice turned my head. “Are you okay?”
I pushed myself off the wall and started toward her. She looked me up and down and quickly herded me into an empty conference room.
I sank into a folding chair, rubbing my temples. Chair legs scraped on the floor, and Reese sat down beside me.
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