Where All the Dead Lie

by J. T. Ellison

  Since Evan died. I know, Memphis. I know. No one should have to go through losing a spouse. And a child.

  “Yes,” Taylor said, the word nearly guttural.

  Memphis pulled up short. “Oh, my. That sounds like it hurts. Can you do more?”

  She shook her head. It wasn’t the pain that stopped her from talking, just the memories. Now that she was starting to be able to vocalize again, she was suddenly shy, every word measured for worth, for impact. She hoped that would go away before too long as well.

  They were up to the customs agent now, who asked them business or pleasure in a bored voice.

  Memphis answered for her.

  “Both.”

  The man stamped her passport and handed it back. And just like that, she was free.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  It was chilly outside the terminal, low gray skies and a lingering threat of rain. Taylor pulled her shearling jacket close around her, adjusted her scarf. She breathed deeply, the grit of canned plane air replaced by brisk, cool city smog. It smelled wonderful.

  Memphis had a car waiting, low and sleek and black, with a driver who held the door. Taylor raised an eyebrow at him. He just smiled and bowed with a flourish.

  “My father sends his best wishes to the lady.”

  She slid onto the smooth leather, smelling the tiniest hint of cigar smoke wafting up from the seats. Many a deal had been done in the back of this car. She could feel that immediately. Memphis sat across from her, riding backward. The car slid from the curb.

  Taylor pulled out her notebook.

  Tell him thank you. This is lovely.

  Memphis winced at seeing her having to write rather than speak, but covered his dismay quickly. “I thought I could do a quick drive through town for you, give you a taste of London. It’s been a while since you were here last, correct?”

  She nodded.

  “Good. Then we can head to King’s Cross. I’ve booked us seats on the noon train. We could have flown, but it’s only three hours, and the countryside is pretty. I thought it would give you a chance to catch up on your rest.”

  “Thank you, Mmmmemphis,” Taylor whispered, then put her hand on her throat. The plane’s dry, recirculated air had made it tight and itchy, she was better off not talking. She needed some cough drops. When she wasn’t speaking, her throat hadn’t hurt at all.

  “Oh, goodness, apologies. You must be thirsty. I’ve got a bit of tea. Would that help?”

  She nodded, and he produced a stainless steel thermos and poured her a cup. Earl Grey, with milk and sugar, just the way she liked it. Already prepared, ready to go. She couldn’t help but see the quiet smirk on his face. She narrowed her eyes at him but he avoided her gaze, started pointing out landmarks.

  London was overwhelming. The sheer size of it, for starters. Taylor was shocked by how much it had changed since she’d been there as a teenager—she remembered Old World architecture and history brimming from the cups on every corner. This new London was spread and steel and glass and fast. It lacked the romanticism she remembered.

  But it had a sense of excitement, of glamour and sly humor, hidden just beneath the uptight modern exterior. She craned her neck for a street sign and saw they were on Victoria, which meant they were traveling into the city following the winding Thames. Once she saw the Tower of London, and the gaily-decorated Tower Bridge looming large and blue to her left, the city reasserted itself. A few minutes later Big Ben came into view and she felt more at home, despite the London Eye soaring into the gray sky. The Thames was as murky and gossamer as she remembered, the spires of Parliament and Westminster Abbey gothic and foreboding.

  Welcome to England, indeed.

  They drove up to Buckingham Palace, the black wrought-iron-and-gold gates glowing in the meager daylight, and she had the same sense of disappointment as she’d had when she saw the palace as a girl. It was a giant box. Elegant and huge, with unbelievably luxurious touches, but a fortress. Taylor was a little girl when it came to kings and queens and princes and princesses. Castles were meant to be gray stone with turrets and moats and crenulated battlements. Balmoral, the Queen’s summer residence, in Scotland, was much more in keeping with Taylor’s romantic view of proper royal residences. Baronial and tower architecture in castles, that’s what really appealed to her. Glamis Castle was another. Of course, Glamis was haunted, by a white lady, a gray lady, a possible vampire child, a monster, the devil—the works. She wondered if Memphis’s castle was haunted. Surely he’d have mentioned something like that, knowing her predilections. Ghosts didn’t scare her; it was more the living evil she had nightmares about. But she really didn’t like the idea of being haunted.

  Taylor caught a quick glance into St. James Park, the view at this angle like a glimpse into a Monet painting, lush and green even this late in the season. For some reason, the vision reminded her of her father. She hadn’t returned his call, and when he arrived in Nashville and came looking for her, she was going to be nowhere to be found. He’d go to Sam, but Sam had strict instructions. Under no circumstance was she to reveal Taylor’s whereabouts, nor any other details about the recent troubles. He was not allowed to be a part of her life. Never again.

  Running away from her dad was childish. She’d have to face him sooner or later. Later seemed much preferable, though God knew what sort of trouble he’d manage to get himself into by the time she returned. If Win were a self-destructive drunk, he’d be as trouble-prone as a raging alcoholic with his fourth thirty-day chip and an unopened bottle of cheap brandy. As it was, his excesses ranged to quieter issues. He’d be into something, some scheme, some plan, guaranteed to be illegal, by the time she returned.

  The car was turning back now, toward Mayfair. A motorcycle whizzed past them on the right, screaming around the car and cutting it off. The driver slammed on the brakes, and Taylor reeled back in her seat. Her heart began to pound, and she felt a familiar moment of panic. Her breath started to come faster, and she got that strange carsick feeling that preceded one of her attacks. Oh no, not now. Not in front of Memphis.

  She closed her eyes and tried to force her mind away, but the red wash of blood covered her face, and her head throbbed in sympathetic pain. She looked into Sam’s eyes, saw her friend’s streaming tears, felt the anger and hate build in her, felt the slick metal of the gun in her hand…

  Think about your safe place, Taylor. Camp. The horse. Breathe.

  She took sips of air through her nose until her racing heart slowed.

  She cracked her eyelids. Memphis was cursing the motorcycle rider. He hadn’t noticed. Thank God. She buried her face in her teacup, managed a full, deep breath.

  She’d had just about enough serial killers to last her a lifetime.

  “Are you okay?” Memphis asked. “You’re white as a sheet.”

  Crap. He had noticed.

  Yeah. One of the side effects. Flashbacks. Joy.

  “So with all the issues you’re still having, how did you talk Baldwin into letting you come alone?”

  Bribery.

  “In other words, you two are getting along better,” Memphis said. His tone was neutral—not questioning or beseeching. Just asking.

  She turned away from the window and back to Memphis. She took a sip of her tea.

  We made up. Things are good again.

  “And is it fixing things? Your voice, for instance?”

  Let’s not do this, Memphis. Okay?

  She wasn’t kidding, she didn’t feel like talking about her relationship with him. It was one thing to talk on the computer, but in person, it felt like a betrayal. And she wasn’t here to betray Baldwin. Away simply meant away, a little time, a little space. Less pressure on her to keep up her strong facade. She could be herself here.

  She couldn’t read his look. He gave her a small smile.

  Seriously, Memphis. It’s not like that.

  “Ah, Taylor. Young love has its ups and downs. Oh, look—there’s my place.”

  For a mom
ent she was confused. Memphis lived in Chelsea, and they were nowhere near his posh neighborhood. But then she saw the great silver-and-blue revolving sign. New Scotland Yard on one side, Metropolitan Police: Working together for a safer London on the other. The entire judicial system of Nashville could fit into its shiny corridors. The building was massive, glass and steel and concrete; she could see the reflection of the stunning redbrick St. Ermin’s Hotel in its gleaming windows.

  A lone female bobby stood guard at the front entrance, but Taylor had a trained eye. There were layers upon layers of security—a bulletproof glass barrier, cameras and tri-level turnstiles and revolving doors and electronic card readers. A surface-mounted spike system with wicked angled teeth allowed cars to pull into the garage below, but not back up lest they shred their tires. She saw submerged concrete barriers that could be raised at a moment’s notice to trap people inside, or stop people from entering.

  “Like it?” Memphis asked, and she nodded. It was fiercely beautiful, very much the new London look that she was starting to get used to. The sun peeked out from behind a cloud for the briefest of moments and set the building to flashing.

  “Fancy,” she said.

  “Wave to Pen. She’ll be mad I didn’t bring you by. Unless you want to go in?”

  She shook her head—that would be too much. Maybe on her way back out of town. She didn’t want that feeling of despair and loneliness that she felt every time she thought about work to invade her here. She was here to get away from police work, from her job, her life, her mistakes. All she wanted was a quiet place to heal. And hide.

  Memphis’s mobile rang and he excused himself, murmuring into the headset. Taylor watched the people of London. It felt like New York, but with bigger smiles and a British accent. Everyone looked cold; they were hurrying about, scurrying, really. It was a blustery winter day, chilly and cloudy with heavy rain expected later in the evening.

  Everyone they drove past looked so nonchalant and buttoned-down. It made her feel flashy and childish. Too enthusiastic. She’d have to remember to be more subdued—physically, at least. She had the mousy quiet thing down already.

  The drive to King’s Cross Station took another five minutes. The driver deposited them and their luggage at the entrance, and Memphis produced two tickets.

  “We’re in first class, and we’ve got seats on the right side of the train. It’s lovely once we get up toward the border.”

  The seats weren’t crazy luxurious, as Taylor expected when thinking first class and train. They were roomier than the regular seats, only four across instead of six, a few with completely separate single two-top tables. The food was better, the drinks higher quality. And less crowded; she could see into the train car behind them at the seething mass of people crowding in. One small boy caught her eye—he stuck out his tongue at her and turned into the car with his frazzled mother scooting along right behind.

  The last time she’d been on a train was the Caledonian Sleeper from Inverness to London, after a rousing tour of Loch Ness with a gaggle of rowdy teenagers. She remembered purple bunk beds, stainless steel washbasins, tea and toast to soak up their evening’s excess. They’d gotten plowed on the train (thrilled to be able to say they were appropriately pissed, in the local lingo) and disembarked with legs that wouldn’t hold them properly, giggling and swaying through the train station like a mustering of newborn storks.

  Things were more seemly now that she was an adult. Their seats were reserved with a small piece of paper stuck to the top. They faced one another, with a tan plastic table in the middle.

  “Forward or back?” he asked.

  She motioned to the forward seat. The idea of riding backward made her nauseous.

  They took their places. Taylor turned her phone on so she could check her messages, was relieved to see she had none.

  And sad, at the same time. It used to be she couldn’t go five minutes without a call, but now her phone sat silent and unused. Unloved. She sent Baldwin a quick, needless text that they were on their way, and stowed the phone.

  The train’s doors closed. The cabin around them was full. The movement began with a gentle tug, then built into a rhythm. Quickly, a girl with a trolley came by. Taylor followed Memphis’s suggestion and ordered tea, fruit salad and a bacon sandwich. She was delighted when it showed up—the bacon was crisp, the wheat toast warm and crunchy, and the side was a large dollop of what she first thought was barbeque sauce, but quickly discovered was HP Sauce, similar, but more peppery than what she knew. It was delicious, and she immediately felt at home. Bacon and barbeque sauce in first class on a northbound train to Edinburgh. She could get used to this.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Taylor watched the green fields roll by, surprised by their verdancy, considering it was so late in the year. Wintertime, but at sea level, the constant wet kept things lush. The villages along the way were charming, even the smallest, poorest close elegant in its barrenness. She was surprised by the cypress trees, which were so reminiscent of the Italian countryside she loved. The beautiful trees brought up fond memories, memories Memphis seemed determined to ruin with his inopportunely timed interruptions. She’d forgotten what a blue jay he could be. Of course, after being trapped in silence for the past month, most of the people close to her had grown quiet as well. She had to remember that. He was simply being friendly.

  “You’ll be pleased to know the weather will be fine tomorrow. A brief storm tonight, some snow, but nothing you won’t be able to handle. It might liven up a bit later in the week. You did pack your warm boots….

  “May I get you some more tea? The trolley should be coming back through any moment….

  “You’re much too thin, you need a proper fattening up. Cook will be thrilled to have a project. She gets terribly dejected when my parents decide to spend the holidays away….”

  And finally, “Are you ignoring me on purpose, or have you simply lapsed into a travel coma?”

  She mentally shook herself. She was being awfully rude.

  She held up a finger to make him wait a minute, then retrieved her laptop from her bag. If they were going to have a conversation, it was easier and quicker for her to type.

  She opened to a blank page in Word and typed her answer.

  Not ignoring. Just used to quiet. Sorry. Where are we now?

  “Just north of York.”

  The trolley arrived again, momentarily saving her from more conversation. She was full of tea, accepted a glass of wine instead. Outside, the clouds turned from white to gray, and small bits of blue tried to peek through. The vistas were changing, growing wider, with more farmland visible. The landscape was dotted with the cotton of lambs.

  With the alcohol on board, things became easier. She dropped her walls a bit and allowed herself to enjoy the ride. She and Memphis settled into a comfortable rhythm of chatter and writing. She watched his blue eyes light up when he saw something outside the train windows he thought she should know about. He was full of stories and memories.

  “See the cathedral at Durham? One of Britain’s most famous serial killers is housed in the prison here….

  “We call this the Angel of the North….

  “This is still the Thames, all the way up in Newcastle, famous for their bridges. The Tweed River is at the border between England and Scotland….”

  They chugged past an undulating concert hall that looked like a roly-poly, one of the insects Taylor had treasured as a child. She’d combed the ground for them, picked them up with her grubby hands, thrilled to watch them curl into tiny balls that made them impervious to her incessant poking.

  Trees that looked like miniature Italian Stone pines puffed their tops into umbrella shapes—yet another reminder of her time in Italy. She wondered whether the conquerors brought them or if they migrated naturally.

  A murder of crows stood watch in a field. She imagined their caws, overlaid with the delicate notes of the fine song-birds in Nashville. They’d gathered in the branches a
t the Snow White’s house, their Siren call pulling her in, where the Pretender lay in wait for her…

  God, she had to stop flashing back like this. It was disturbing in the extreme, this inability to divorce the most mundane sights and sounds from the shooting.

  She had the most absurd thought, which pulled her back to the present. She knew it would make Memphis laugh. She hoped his mirth would be catching.

  Do the crows have a British accent?

  “What?”

  The crows. The animals in general. Do they have some sort of accent, like you do?

  “I haven’t an accent. Besides, I would think it’s the American animals with the inflections, don’t you? A drawl here, a twang there. It’s all the Queen’s English, after all.”

  They shared a smile, then were quiet for a bit.

  The sun was growing low in the sky. She burrowed into her jacket, suddenly chilled. She was here, she was committed to getting all the way back to herself. So why did she have such a sense of foreboding about the whole venture?

  Memphis caught her shiver. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, gently taking her hand. She let him, she was chilled, and the warmth felt good.

  She knew exactly what he meant. The shooting. The Pretender. Her fall from grace. Her life falling apart before everyone’s eyes.

  Not really. There’s no more to tell. It’s over. I just need to let it go. I’m trying, so hard, to let it go. Why don’t you tell me about your case instead? I’ll live vicariously through you.