by Dale, Lindy
“Are… are… this the ones you mean?” I stammer, trying to ignore the way his hip is leaning against my bottom. He appears to have forgotten that we are keeping this professional. I’m meant to be getting feedback.
“No, the other.”
He reaches further forward and shuffles through the papers, revealing a second set of plans. “Compare the two. If you were the client, which would you go for?”
“I think the first.”
We stay in the same position as we discuss the plans, Nicholas settled against my back, his strong arms enveloping me, cocooning me. I feel the tension leave his body, the confident, in-control Nicholas return. His voice is quiet when he speaks again. “I don’t want to lose you, Sadie. The last six months have been hell.”
“But we hardly knew each other.”
“Yeah. God, knows what’s up with that.”
“It was the same for me,” I reply. “I feel that way about you and Joel. That was why I had to go. You know that. I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”
“And you still feel this way?”
Unfortunately, yes.
I nod, raising my hand to caress his cheek.
“I want you with me, Sadie. I can’t be without you again.” His lips press into my palm and I know he’s telling the truth because I feel it, too.
There’s another knock at the door and Joel sticks his head in. His hand is on the jamb and he eyes us up and down before speaking. “You coming down to the bar for a drink, Nick?”
Nicholas doesn’t flinch. “Nah. I’ve got some stuff to finish up here.”
“What about you, Sadie?” Joel questions.
“No thanks. I’m off home in a minute. I’m shagged.”
Joel gives me a strange look and I realise what I’ve said. He steps further into the room, closing the door. His gaze is intense as he assesses the situation. I can’t escape it. The heat rises on my cheeks and I lick my lips nervously. “So it looks like professionalism might be going to take a nosedive?” he states.
“No. Not yet.”
“Would you like it to?”
“Are you offering?”
“You know the answer to that already.” Joel looks to Nicholas. “What about you Nick?”
“I’ve tried but she makes it hard,” he jokes.
“You got that in one buddy.” Joel snips the lock on the door and flicks off the light. Walking to the desk, he picks up my stuff and tosses it on the couch. “We won’t be needing that. Or these.”
He moves around the other side of the desk swiping the surface clean. Pens and rulers clatter to the floor. A photo frame lands beside them and is covered by the papers I gave Nicholas earlier. The plans fall on top of them.
I look from one man to the other.
Clearly we are going to hell, starting now.
I have no defence for this. I never did. Despite not wanting to hurt either of them, I find myself back in this situation. There’s nothing I can do. It’s not in me to say no again. I simply don’t want to. This is Nicholas. And Joel. And me. We are puppeteers and puppets in the same show, just none of us knows which of us is pulling the strings.
“What do you want?” I ask, looking from one man to the other.
“You,” Nicholas replies. “Only you.” His breath is in my ear. His left hand has slid from the desk to my hip. He’s trying to make it appear as if we’re still looking at the plans but the message he’s sending, with his hand slowly circling my hip and bottom, is clear. I try to concentrate but I can’t. Nicholas’s voice is in my ear. His erection is pressing into the crack of my bum through our clothing, but it feels as if we’re naked. “You’re very distracting, Sadie. The way you swish around the office in that tight skirt, your hips swinging.”
Not as distracting as his stance when he stands, staring out the window, looking for inspiration. The way the muscles tighten in his back at those moments are enough to send me over the edge. The other day I almost stapled my finger to a book, I got so side tracked.
I feel my breathing quicken as Nicholas raises his hand from my hip and slides it along my neck and over my shoulder. He flicks my hair around to reveal my skin. I feel his warm lips come to rest in the place he caressed a second before.
“I’ve tried to ignore it but I can’t. I keep seeing you naked. On my desk.”
“I don’t do it on purpose.” My voice catches as I say it.
“I think you know exactly what you’re doing. You’re making me want to fuck you because you think I won’t act on the desire.”
“I am? I do?”
“Yes.”
“What? Right now?”
“And every day since you’ve been here.”
Suddenly, I feel wanton. I’m no longer embarrassed by what’s happening, right here in the office. I want Nicholas too. I want him inside me. I’ve wanted it since the night I ran from his bed. I’ve dreamed of it and the things he did or Joel did or whichever one of them it was.
“And how exactly do you propose to do that? This is the office. There are security men and cleaners. We’re not alone.”
“Which will make it all the more fun. Don’t you agree? Don’t you remember the lighthouse?”
Slowly, I turn to face him. My hands go to his chest and I feel the muscles tense beneath my fingers. My gaze falls to his lips, the lips I’ve fantasised about for the last six months.
Nicholas towers over me, pushing me into the edge of the desk. Those lips, so pink for a man, come closer to mine. My mouth is open and I release a sigh as our lips dance around each other’s, almost touching but not quite. Teasing. Then he kisses me. His mouth comes down on mine, his lips part and his tongue is chasing mine. I can’t breathe. My body feels so hot I want to rip my clothes off and let him have me any way he likes. I don’t care about where we are. I don’t care about being professional. I want to fuck Nicholas into next week.
He releases my mouth and I watch as he reaches down to hitch my skirt above my hips. It’s tight and I shimmy to help him, watching the smile form on his face as he sees my underwear. They’re white cotton boylegs but they’re new and pristine and smooth against my skin. His fingers run the line of fabric between my navel and my crotch. His hands move to my bottom and he slides them under, lifting me onto the desk. Then he spreads my legs with his thighs. I see him glance at Joel as he teases me through the fabric of my knickers. Joel is watching, sucking slowly on his lip. Watching turns him on. I can see it.
Then Joel moves in front of me, too. He leans between Nicholas and I and kisses me. His weight is full against my chest and my arms strain, stretching behind to balance the three of us. He smooths a hand over my hair. He twists it in his fingers and tugs it out of the way so he can bite my neck. He sucks the skin along my collarbone and the veins that are beginning to pump wildly under my jaw. His fingers trace the line of pulse that follows his kisses until he reaches my mouth. Then, he rubs his thumb over my lips and I open my mouth to take his thumb in. His eyes watch the progress, intent.
“You sure, Sadie?” he whispers. “It’s not too late.”
I nod. I’ve never been surer.
Outside, the city lights are turning night into day and Nicholas puts his hands to the buttons on my shirt, flicking each one undone in turn. Joel continues to devour my mouth and neck and I wonder vaguely if someone in one of those buildings out there is watching us. It makes me oddly excited to think we may be putting on a show.
“You’re so beautiful, Sadie,” Nicholas says. He pulls Joel off and kisses me. His tongue thrusts in and out, round and round. His hands tug at my shirt, pulling it free of the waistband of my skirt. It falls completely open, exposing my chest and stomach to him. He runs a finger along the space between my ribs. He sticks his tongue into my mouth harder and moves his hand to squeeze my nipple through my bra. My chest explodes beneath him and I’m milli-seconds from collapsing back on the desk.
Oh the torture. The sheer delicious agony of them.
Nicholas shifts, p
ulling me back and before I know it, he’s reached around and flicked the clasp of my bra undone. He’s slid my shirt and bra off my shoulders and tossed them to the floor beside his desk. His hands are massaging my breasts, tweaking my nipples and he’s smiling lustfully.
“So beautiful,” he whispers, as he lowers his face.
Nicholas licks one breast, Joel the other. They suck hard, then harder and surges of pleasure race through me. They nip at my skin and I whimper, arching myself towards then, wanting them to do it again.
Joel looks up at me, my nipple still in his mouth. “You like that?” he murmurs.
“Mmmmm.” I can’t speak.
Joel sucks again. His hand slides around the mound of my breast. His tongue flicks back and forth as Nicholas’s lips trail down my torso until he reaches the waistband of my skirt. His tongue plays in and out around my navel. I throw back my head, I can’t take much more and they haven’t even touched me below the waist.
Then they stop.
Joel reaches into his pocket and pulls out the blindfold and I don’t know if I’m angrier that he simply assumed we’d be hooking up or that he wants to use the blindfold again. I mean, it’s not normal to go around with a blindfold in your pocket. This isn’t a porn flick.
But I’m calling the shots this time. I hold up a hand. “If you want me to wear that, I’m leaving. I don’t care. There will be no sex. Ever.”
“But—”
“I said ‘no’. These are the new rules. If we are going to do this, I want to see you. I want the experience. I want to see who’s fucking me. I have to.”
The boys look at each other. Eyebrows lift in question and I know I have them. The blindfold is tossed in the bin.
But I feel a change. We have committed to this thing. We are in it together. It might be for ‘fun’ like Joel has said but that blindfold going in the bin means a whole lot more.
“Fine by me.” Joel plays at the edge of my knickers. He pulls at the elastic and lets it snap against my skin. “Very virginal,” he whispers. “But totally unnecessary.”
He rubs the heel of his palm over me. He bends his head and licks me through my underwear and I’m wet, so wet. I’m panting. He reaches round my hips and pulls at my knickers. I lift my bottom and he slides them from my skin, eases them past my knees, pulls them off my ankles and throws them onto the pile of discarded clothing. I’m breathing so fast, I think I might be hyperventilating.
Eyes locked with mine, Joel puts his fingers on me. He kisses me again as his fingers move in tiny circles that make me want to faint with desire. I don’t move. If I move I’ll come and I want to prolong this ecstasy for as long as I can. I stare at him, watching me get excited as he plays between my legs. I see the small smile of satisfaction on his lips as he makes me gasp with pleasure.
“Good?”
“The best.” I squirm against his hand.
His smile grows broader and he moves two fingers, sliding them into me.
“I don’t think so,” he says. “I think I can do better than that.”
God, I want him to. I, so, want him to.
As Nicholas watches, Joel thrusts his fingers into me. He pulls them out slowly then repeats the process. Over and over.
I try not to move. I watch their faces and enjoy but I don’t move.
“Is that the best you can do?” I tease.
“A challenge, is it?” Joel’s mouth goes to my breast and he sucks so hard I can’t help but cry out, especially when Nicholas has his lips on my other breast and his hand between my legs helping Joel along. Fingers thrust harder but I have no idea who they belong to now. They move inside me, wriggling to find the spot that will tip me over the edge.
Oh God, Joel was right. That definitely wasn’t his best work.
“Lick me,” I say, knowing that I’m begging but not caring. The fingers slide from inside me. Joel grins. God, he’s hot.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
CHAPTER TEN
I arrive home around eight. I’m exhausted and I know I must look like I’ve been up to no good with my bosses but it was worth it. We gave in to the thing we were trying to avoid. The inevitable has happened and I’m glad it did. Everything is literally out in the open. If you discount the fact that I am now having a secret affair with two men and nobody can ever find out. It’s not the done thing to be in a relationship like ours. Not even for fun. Something like this could have the potential to ruin us all.
After our interlude on the desk, the boys and I went to eat in a quiet little restaurant a long way from the office. It seemed the most natural thing in the world for me to be sitting with them, enjoying their company again, but as Nicholas pointed out, we can’t be seen together again. Not until my prac is over. I can’t have people assuming I’m sleeping with the boss to get a better grade. It would ruin any chance I’d have of getting a good job. Not to mention Nicholas and Joel’s credibility. Joel might have slept with anything that walked in the past, but he’s always been professional at work, as has Nicholas. I can’t sully their reputations. So for now, our thing is on the down low.
Over pasta and wine, we discuss how this thing will work. It’s weird to be talking about rules in a relationship but now the blindfold is off, this relationship needs boundaries. We decide that there will never be sex unless both men are present. It sounds weird but it wouldn’t be fair to them not to know what the other is doing. And anyway, I don’t want them alone. I want the package deal. It’s like we’re not complete unless it’s the three of us. We also agree that for the sake of propriety, I’ll never be seen in public with either of them alone. Part of a group, like friends, is fine. Joel will continue to date his bevy of models and girls from the swanky part of town. I’m not sure I like this rule; I’m protective of Joel since the night of the engagement party but Joel’s assured me he won’t sleep with any girl but me. We’re in an exclusive relationship. There just happens to be three of us.
“I care about you, Sadie,” he says. “I never want to see you hurt.”
“I thought you were in to bedding, not wedding?” I joke.
“Hey, slow down. I agreed to be exclusive but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna take my profile off Tinder. You’ve gotta give me a bit of time to get used to the idea.”
“Thank God,” I giggle. “I thought you were going soft.”
With that I get a kiss to prove exactly how ‘un-soft’ he is. It’s hot and needy and makes me want to take him in the bathroom and do him all over again.
*****
Emily is in the living room watching Orange is the New Black when I open the door. She doesn’t look up when I enter but that could be because there’s hot lesbian sex happening. For the first time ever it doesn’t faze me. Normally, I cringe at any type of sexual activity on a screen but after you’ve just had a threesome on a desk you tend to see things in a different light.
Emily puts the show on pause. Her eyes look puffy and red, like she’s been crying. I hope this isn’t about Alex. I so want her and Alex to work. He’s good for her.
“You’re late,” she says, her voice devoid of emotion.
“Busy day.”
In more ways than one.
“So I gather,” she replies.
I don’t understand. I flop onto the couch beside her and wrap my arms around her but she shrugs me away. She stands in front of me with her arms folded and I feel as if I’m about to be chastised by my mother for having a drink at a party. What is up with her?
“You gave me a handbag call before,” she says.
“Did I?” I laugh. Emily and I are always doing that. It seems to be one of the downsides to mobile phones. Every now and then you knock your phone accidentally and ring someone without realising. Once I heard her spinning a story to the guy in the shop on the corner, trying to cajole him into letting her have the Snickers bar even though she was short thirty cents. She got it too. All she ever has to do is bat her eyelashes and men are like putty. “What was I blithering on
about this time?”
“You weren’t talking but there was a damn lot of moaning going on.”
I cast my mind over the day. Nada on the moaning. I did hit my hip on the corner of the desk once and a few words I don’t normally say popped out, but I don’t think I moaned. “I’ve no idea what you’re on about.”
“You were fucking Joel, Sadie.” She’s says it like one would talk about going out to buy bread. “I heard every sigh, every thrust. Jesus. I thought I was going to spew.”
“I …” I begin.
“Don’t try and deny it. It was pretty damn obvious when you screamed his name, begging him to give it to you harder. And the moaning. Ewww.”
What does she want me to say. I wanted it harder. I wanted to consume him. And why the hell didn’t she hang up when she realised what was going on? That’s like a double ewww.
“Emily—”
“—Shut. Up. Do you realise what you’ve done?”
I swallow. The blood drains from my face and mixes with the nausea that’s suddenly rising in my stomach.
Shit. This is bad.
Leaping from the couch, I run to the bathroom and throw up my dinner. Three times. I’m appalled that Emily’s heard me having sex — and that it was with the very guy I told her was gay so I could keep him away from her. I am such a cow. What sort of friend would do that? My sort, clearly.
Emily comes to the bathroom door. She glowers at me but its not anger in her eyes. It’s sadness, disappointment, loss.
“The thing that confused me most, however, is that I heard Nicholas’ voice as well. I thought you were staying away from him during the prac? Isn’t that what you agreed?”
“I tried.” I retch again.
“Jesus, were you having a threesome in his office? What the hell is with you? What if you got caught?”