Thirty minutes pass and a seat opens up when someone gets called back to see the doctor. Raine pulls away from me, like she's going to go take the seat, but then changes her mind and remains by my side. My arm is no longer around her but I feel Raine's hand bump against mine. I glance over and see her looking straight ahead. I take her hand and hold it, wondering if she'll pull away. Instead, she holds on tighter.
It surprises the hell out of me that she's letting me do this. Letting me comfort her. Letting me take care of her when she's worried and scared. The fact she even told me she's scared shocked me. She's always so closed off. Never tells me how she's feeling. Never shows weakness. But now? It's like she doesn't know what to do. Gladys is everything to her. The only person she has in life. So the thought of losing her has Raine completely panicked and unable to hide how she feels. When she showed up at my apartment, she almost broke down. There were tears in her eyes but she quickly wiped them away. From the moment I saw her, I knew something was seriously wrong without her even having to tell me.
"Gladys," the nurse calls out.
Raine lets go of my hand and turns to Gladys. "They're ready. It's time to get up."
I help Gladys up from the chair, then walk her over to the nurse.
"I'll wait here," I tell Raine as she goes with Gladys to the exam room.
Turning back to the waiting area, I see sick kids coughing and sneezing and an old man with his head bent down, mumbling to himself. This is the last place I thought I'd be spending my Friday night but it's the only place I want to be if they can make Gladys better. And if Gladys is better, Raine will be too.
I hate seeing Raine this upset. This sad. Her life is hard enough. She doesn't need more pain. More loss.
Gladys has to be okay.
15
Raine
"You sure you're all right?" I ask Gladys.
"Yes, dear. You don't have to keep asking." She coughs and takes a sip of water.
"I just want to make sure you don't need anything."
"I'm fine. I'm just going to rest now."
Gladys has bronchitis and the start of pneumonia so the doctor gave her medicine and an inhaler. Well, he didn't give it to her. He prescribed it and Miles paid for it.
Damn Miles. Why does he have to be so nice? I keep trying not to like him but I can't. He's kind, generous, and has a super hot body and perfect face. How can one person have all that going for him? Usually hot guys are assholes and nice guys aren't that attractive. That's based solely on my own experience but it's been true up until now. Then Miles comes along and proves me wrong. He's definite proof that hot, nice guys exist.
I like him so much that I avoid him whenever he's around in an attempt to not like him even more. So far, it's not working. And last night, when he helped me with Gladys? My heart melted, making all my emotions spill out right in front of him. He put his arm around me. He held my hand. He said all the right things to make me feel better. He was perfect. So damn perfect. I wish he'd show me some flaws so I could go back to being annoyed with him instead of missing him, wishing he was here.
"Raine?" I hear a voice outside the tent but it's faint, almost a whisper.
Unzipping the tent, I see Miles standing there. Did he read my mind? What's he doing here?
I want to jump up and hug him and feel his arms wrap around me, because being in his arms makes me feel like everything will be okay. I wish I could feel that way without him, but I can't. I've tried but I can't make myself feel that way when I'm alone. I only feel that way with Miles. I've become attached to him, which I promised myself I wouldn't do, but then this thing with Gladys happened and now I feel even closer to him.
"Hey." I crawl out of the tent, zipping it closed behind me. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going in the office."
It's Saturday but Miles' boss said he had to work today to get something done for a case. Maybe he's just stopping by here on his way to work.
"I went in this morning." He rubs his hand over his jaw and I notice he hasn't shaved. He looks tired. But he still looks hot, wearing dark jeans, a button-up shirt, and a leather jacket.
"How long did you work?"
"Eight hours." He rubs the back of his neck. "Got there at five this morning. I'm exhausted."
He went in at five? He was here until one in the morning, sitting outside the tent. He wanted to make sure Gladys was okay and said he'd stay there all night but I convinced him to go home, telling him I'd come get him if I needed him.
"How's she doing?" he asks, motioning to the tent.
"She's okay. She just took her meds. She's sleeping now."
"That's good. Sleep will help her get better." He walks over to some bags that are next to the lawn chair.
"What's all that?" I ask.
He brings the bags over and I notice they're shopping bags. "I got her another blanket." He pulls out a large thick blanket. "I got the warmest one I could find, and it's big enough that you could both use it."
I take it from him, fighting back tears. He's been so good to us and I don't know why. I still can't figure out why he's doing this.
"Thank you, Miles."
"No problem." He picks up another bag. "I also got this." He hands the bag to me.
I open it up and pull out a zip-up hoodie. It's hot pink with thick fleece inside. It's heavy and warm and just what I need now that the weather's getting cold. I've been wearing Miles' sweatshirt for weeks now. It's the warmest thing I own.
"Try it on," he says.
I unzip it and pull it over my arms, feeling the immediate warmth from the fleece. The warmth spreads to my core when I zip it up, cutting out the chill from the wind.
"You like it?" he asks, smiling. "Because it looks really good on you."
I don't have a mirror but I think it really does look good on me. It fits me perfectly and I love the pink color. It makes me feel like a girl. All my other stuff is dark and dingy. When I put my hair up and wear a hat, some people mistake me for a guy.
"I love it," I say, running my hand along the soft fabric. I feel myself smiling, not just because of the gift but because Miles actually went to the store and picked it out, just for me.
Suddenly, my smile drops and my chest tightens as my mind flashes back to a memory of Rob, the day I met him.
I was waitressing at a shitty truck-stop restaurant off the interstate, barely making enough to pay rent. My car had just died that morning and I didn't have money to fix it. I didn't know what I was going to do. I needed that car to get to work. An hour into my shift, this guy walked in and sat at one of my tables. He was really hot and easy to talk to, so when he asked me out, I didn't think twice. I told him yes and we made plans for that night. When he left, I found a hundred dollar tip on the table. I thought I'd hit the jackpot. I'd met a hot guy with money who was interested in me.
Rob and I started dating that night, and a month later, I moved in with him. He had a huge house in a really nice neighborhood. And he had two new cars and let me use them as if they were my own. He bought me whatever I wanted. Clothes. Shoes. Electronics. In return, I just had to take care of the house and run errands for him. It was like a dream come true. I was finally out of poverty and living the life I always wanted. I assumed Rob and I would get married, have a few kids, and live happily ever after.
But that never happened because that life wasn't real. The fantasy I thought I was living was fake and I didn't even know it. When I found out the truth about Rob and tried to leave, my fantasy turned into a nightmare. Everything I thought was mine was suddenly gone. Because it was never mine.
"I can't accept this." I unzip the sweatshirt and take it off, feeling the cold air pour through the thin fabric of my shirt.
"Too late," Miles says. "I can't take it back."
"Why not?"
"Store clearance sale. Returns aren't allowed."
I shove it in his hands. "You never should've bought it. I told you not to buy things for me."
"I didn
't." He holds the sweatshirt over his chest. "I bought it for me, but look. It doesn't even cover half my chest. I didn't realize how small it was until I got home."
I stare at him, holding up that tiny pink hoodie against his massive chest, trying not to laugh. "You didn't buy that for yourself."
"I sure as hell did." He holds it up closer to his face. "I thought the pink would look good with my skin."
I laugh. I couldn't hold it in. Imagining him wearing that sweatshirt is just too damn funny.
"I'm assuming your laughter means you agree with me," he says. "But you could've been more subtle about it and just said I'd look better in a different color."
I'm laughing even more now. "Just give it to me."
He hands it back. "I got something for Gladys too." He turns and picks up the last sack. He pulls out a thick purple sweater that zips up in front and has pockets on each side. It's almost like a sweatshirt but nicer with no hood, like something an old lady would wear.
"Oh my God, she'll love it," I say, taking it from him. "This is perfect! She loves purple."
"I noticed that. She also loves green but purple was all I could find."
"She'll love the purple. Thanks, Miles."
He smiles. "You're welcome."
When he brings stuff for Gladys, I never turn it down. She needs clothes as much as I do and she's going to love this sweater. I've never seen anything like it. I wonder where he found it.
"I'm going to go give it to her," I say, going to the tent.
"I thought she was asleep."
"She is, but I'll leave it next to her so she'll see it when she wakes up."
I'm so excited to give this to her. It's going to be her new favorite thing. I quietly sneak into the tent and see her sound asleep. I set the sweater beside her and back out of the tent.
"She's still asleep," I say to Miles.
"I hope she likes it."
"She's going to love it." I look down, then back up at him, and before I can stop myself, I lunge forward and hug him. I didn't intend to, but my emotions overwhelmed me and I couldn't hold back.
"Raine," he says softly, his strong arms holding me in the hug. "You okay?"
I squeeze my eyes shut, emotions flooding me, making tears form and fall down my cheeks. I don't know why I'm crying. I'm happy Miles is here, happy he's helping me with Gladys. So why am I crying?
"It's okay," he says, rubbing his hand up and down my back. "She's going to be okay."
As he says it, I realize that's why I'm crying. I'm scared Gladys won't get better. How did Miles know that and I didn't?
"What if she's not?" I ask, my head buried in his chest. "What if she gets worse and not better?"
"Then we'll deal with it." He smooths his hand over my hair. "You're not alone, Raine. I'm here."
His words bring more tears to my eyes because I want so badly for that to be true. But I don't believe it. I don't believe he'll stick around once he finds someone else. Friends. A girlfriend. I'm just the girl he comes to visit every night until he finds something better.
He's not mine. But I wish he could be.
I slowly pull away, wiping my eyes and forcing out a smile. "I didn't sleep much last night. I always get emotional when I don't get enough sleep."
"You never get enough sleep," he says, calling me out on my made-up reason to explain the tears. He moves aside the hair that was covering my eye, tucking it behind my ear. "I'm worried about her too."
"I don't know what to do, Miles."
"I'm working on it."
I look up at him. "What do you mean?"
"I've been calling shelters, seeing if I could get her in somewhere."
"No!" I shove him back. "She can't leave me! I need her!"
"Raine." He steps up to me, lowering his voice. "She can't stay out here in the cold. It's bad for her lungs. She needs to be someplace warm. And so do you."
Turning my back to him, I shake my head. "I'm not going there. I don't like it there."
"The shelter? Why?"
"Because..." I pause. "Because there's other addicts there. Last time I stayed at one, this girl tried to give me pills and I—I almost did it. I almost took them. I thought I was stronger than that but when she put them in front of me, I almost couldn't say no."
"When did this happen?"
"Six months ago when I left the—I mean, when I was first homeless. I found this shelter and didn't even last one night there. After I turned down the drugs, there was this other girl who tried to start a fight with me. She wanted my sweatshirt and when I wouldn't give it to her, she punched me. I got out of there and never went back." I turn to face him. "I'm not going back there and neither is Gladys."
"They're not going to bother Gladys. Nobody's going to beat up an old lady."
"They would if they wanted something of hers and she didn't give it to them. You don't know what it's like, Miles. I didn't either until I was there and saw what was going on."
"I'm sure they're not all like that."
"Maybe not, but I still don't want Gladys there. She'll be okay here. She's been living out here for years and made it this long."
"But she's older now, and she's sick."
"I thought you were trying to make me feel better."
"I am, but I also want to be realistic. And I know she'd be better off in a place that's warm." He takes my hand and looks into my eyes. "Let me keep working on this. I'll see what I can do."
"But what could you do? The shelter's the only option."
"She could stay with me. You both could."
"We can't do that. Your apartment is small and only has one bedroom. And it wouldn't be right for us to stay with you."
"Just think about it, okay? Talk to Gladys. I know you guys like your independence but there comes a point when you have to accept some help."
Just then, a minivan drives up and parks on the street right next to the alley. It's Zoe's van, which is surprising because it's Saturday. She doesn't work on Saturdays. Maybe someone called in sick.
She gets out of the van, but instead of going to the coffee shop, she comes down the alley, walking really fast.
"Raine." She comes up to me and gives me a hug. "I just heard the news."
"What news?"
"About Gladys. Miles called me."
"You did?" I ask, looking at Miles.
"I thought she should know," he says.
"Thank you for telling me." Zoe turns to him, her keys still in her hand. "Gladys is such a special lady. I'd be devastated if something happened to her."
Zoe and Gladys have been friends for years. Gladys said she even goes to Zoe's house for Christmas. I didn't even think about calling Zoe but I should have. I don't have a phone but I could've used the one at the coffee shop.
"Where is she?" Zoe asks.
"In the tent," I tell her. "But she's sleeping."
"She can't be out in this cold. I need to take her home with me." She walks over to the tent.
I race over to her before she unzips it. "Wait. You're taking Gladys?"
"I can't let her stay out here."
"She's been staying out here for years."
"Yes, and I've been trying to get her to stay with me the entire time I've known her but she refuses, saying it would upset my husband, which is true but he needs to get over it. She's sick and I'm not taking no for an answer. I've talked to my husband and he's okay with her staying in the spare bedroom until she gets better." She looks at the tent, then back at me. "You shouldn't be out here either. It's going to drop into the twenties tonight. Why don't you come home with me? You could stay on the couch. It'll be a little crowded but we'll manage."
"She can stay with me," Miles says. "I have plenty of room."
I look at him. "Um, yeah, I'll just stay with Miles tonight."
Zoe nods, then unzips the tent and crawls inside. Gladys starts coughing and I hear Zoe talking to her.
"That was a good idea," I say to Miles. "Calling Zoe? I didn't even think about
that."
"I knew she'd offer to help," Miles says. "The first night I went in the coffee shop I saw them together and thought Gladys was Zoe's mom, the way they interacted."
"Yeah, Zoe's mom died a few years ago and Gladys has kind of become her second mom. But I had no idea she'd asked Gladys to live with her."
"Sounds like that wasn't really an option if Zoe's husband wasn't on board."
"Yeah, plus they have two kids so their house is pretty full."
"At least she'll have a few nights of being warm."
Gladys and Zoe come out of the tent.
"Going to a sleepover?" I say to Gladys, smiling so she knows I'm okay. She doesn't like leaving me. If I act sad that she's leaving, she won't go.
"Just for a few nights." She comes over and kisses my cheek. "Zoe said you're staying with Miles."
"Um, yeah. Just for a night."
She winks at me. "Good, dear. Oh, and thank you for the sweater. Where did you find such a beautiful thing?"
I look over and see Zoe holding it, along with the rest of Gladys' stuff.
"Miles got it for you," I say. "Along with a new blanket. He did some shopping."
She goes over to him and gives him a hug. "Such a nice young man. You take care of my girl."
"I will." He pats her back. "You get better, okay?"
She nods, then walks down the alley to meet up with Zoe, who's packing up her van. Zoe helps Gladys into the front seat, then waves at us from the street. "I'll call and let you know how she's doing."
"Thanks!" Miles says.
We watch them drive off, and I feel a wave of relief knowing Gladys is with someone who I know will take good care for her. I also feel relieved that someone isn't me. I love Gladys, and I don't mind taking care of her, but it's a lot of responsibility and sometimes it gets to be too much. Even just one night off is like a weight being lifted off my shoulders.
16
Raine
"Need to bring anything?" Miles asks.
"For what?"
"For staying over. Get what you need and we'll go."
"Oh, I'm not really staying with you. I just said that so Zoe and Gladys wouldn't worry."
Home With You Page 14