Home With You

by Everhart, Allie

  If I could, I'd show up at the guy's house and put him in the hospital like he did to Raine, but I can't do that. I need to figure out something else. If I could catch him selling drugs there's a good chance I could put him behind bars for a very long time but I have no idea how to get the evidence to prove it. He's protected himself with his team of sales guys who I'm sure are loyal to him. Raine said Jacob, the guy who sold her pills, refused to give up his dealer's name when he was arrested.

  Searching farther down on the page, I see Rob's name listed at an event in Houston. It's a fundraiser for high school athletes. The website lists him as attending but doesn't say anything more. The next search result has a photo of him with his arm around a high school kid in a football uniform. Under the photo is a short article that says Rob was at the high school to talk to student athletes about injuries caused by high school sports. It goes on to say Rob played football at college but had to quit following a serious injury his junior year.

  Is that how he started selling drugs? He needed pain meds and got hooked up with a dealer and then started dealing himself? Why is he talking to high school kids? It seems like he wouldn't want that much exposure. Unless he's doing it to get new customers.

  Shit, I bet that's it. I bet he's going to schools trying to get young athletes hooked on pain meds. It's only a theory but it makes sense. Rob could be targeting high school athletes who were injured. He offers them pain relief with his pills so they can play again. Soon they're hooked and can't get off them. More customers for Rob.

  He could be doing this on college campuses too. Raine said that guy, Jacob, hung out at the mall to find his future customers. The mall is full of young people. He was targeting teens and young adults, just like Rob is doing at this high school in Houston. Raine said he traveled a lot. Maybe he was traveling to schools, connecting with athletes, in order to grow his business.

  I want to ask Raine if she has more evidence that would support my theory but then she'll know I was looking him up and she'll get angry and tell me to stop.

  Closing the browser window, I focus on my legal work. After two hours, I shut it down and go to bed, but can't sleep knowing Raine is alone in the alley. The coffee shop is closed now and all the employees have left. Raine is by herself in a dark deserted alley with no cellphone to call for help.

  Bursting out of bed, I grab my jeans from the floor and put them on, then pull on a t-shirt and sweatshirt and run down the stairs. I grab my jacket, keys, and phone and go down to the street. It's almost midnight and even I don't feel safe walking the streets this late so I know Raine can't feel safe being by herself in that tent. There's no way she'll get any sleep when she's alone in there.

  "Raine," I say, announcing myself as I approach the tent.

  "Who is it?" she yells back in a deep voice like she's trying to sound like a guy. It doesn't work. She just sounds like a girl trying to imitate a guy.

  "It's Miles."

  "Miles?" She unzips the tent, holding a pocket knife.

  "You know that wouldn't do much, right? It couldn't save you if some guy had a gun."

  "Obviously, but it's all I have." She wraps a blanket around her. "Did you come here to scare me or did you just feel like visiting me in the middle of the night?"

  "Just visiting." I smile and crawl in the tent, sitting beside her.

  She gives me a funny look. "Seriously, what are you doing here?"

  "I couldn't sleep."

  "So you came here to make sure I didn't sleep either?"

  "Were you sleeping?"

  "No."

  "I didn't think so. I wouldn't be able to either. I didn't feel too safe walking down here."

  "You were scared?" she asks in a teasing tone.

  "Hell, yeah. Only criminals walk around this time of night."

  "Or friendly night owls."

  I nudge her leg. "Are you saying you weren't scared?"

  "Not at all."

  "So you just pretended to be a guy and pulled a knife on me for fun?"

  "Yep." She looks down.

  "Raine, I know you were scared. Anyone would be. It's dangerous out here. You're not close to any kind of help if you needed it and you don't have a phone."

  "Are you trying to scare me even more?"

  "No, but I wish you'd admit it's dangerous instead of pretending it's not."

  "What good would that do? You want me to live in fear so I can't go anywhere or get any sleep?"

  "I just want you to be careful. Actually, what I really want is for you to stay with me until we can find you a place to live. We could be roommates."

  She gives me a sideways glance. "With one bedroom?"

  "We could put a cardboard divider in the middle of the bed. Just to make sure you don't try to have sex with me in the middle of the night."

  "Oh, I'M the one we have to worry about?" She laughs.

  "I see how you look at me."

  "And how do I look at you?"

  "Like a piece of meat."

  She holds back her laughter. "What kind of meat?"

  "Filet mignon, of course. Only the best."

  "I was thinking hamburger."

  "You're such a liar." I grab her and pull her into a hug. "I'm better than hamburger and you know it."

  "Let me go!" she says as she laughs. "I'm being attacked by hamburger!"

  I loosen my grip on her but keep her in my arms. "Is that better?"

  She takes a breath and turns to lean back against my chest. "Why are you really here, Miles?"

  "Because I was worried about you."

  "Why?"

  "Because I care about you. But you already know that."

  "But why? Why do you care so much?"

  "Because..." I don't know what to say. If I tell her how I feel about her, there's a good chance she'll freak out and tell me to go away. "I just do, okay? I care about you."

  "I care about you too," she says, just loud enough for me to hear.

  It's in that moment that I feel like things suddenly change between us. It's the first time Raine's admitted she has feelings for me. Until now, I was never really sure. The whole time I've known her, she's tried to pretend she felt nothing for me, or she'd say things to make me think I was only imagining she had feelings for me when she really didn't.

  But hearing her say that just now, and the way that she said it, like she wasn't sure she wanted me to hear it, I know it's real. That she really does feel something for me.

  I pull her closer and kiss her head, and mouth the words I desperately want to tell her but can't. I love you, Raine.

  23

  Raine

  Resting against Miles' chest as he holds me in his arms is messing with my head. I keep trying to convince myself I don't have feelings him but when we're together like this, I can't deny it. I love him. And I love how he makes me feel.

  My whole life, I've felt ashamed of who I am. People looked down on me because of my loser dad, and having a mom who didn't want me made me feel worthless. I didn't do well in school. I couldn't play sports. I had friends, but not many. Most people ignored me and acted like I didn't exist. I felt like I didn't matter. Rob took advantage of that, preying on my need for attention. My need to feel special. But I never felt special with Rob.

  With Miles I do. He acts like I'm the most special girl in the world. I have no idea why he sees me that way but he does. And that's why my efforts not to love him keep failing. Every time I try to shut off my feelings for him, they keep coming back.

  "You want to sleep?" Miles asks.

  His voice startles me from my thoughts. "Yeah." I turn and smile at him. "Thanks for stopping by."

  He chuckles. "Raine, I'm not leaving you here. You're either coming back with me or we're sleeping here."

  "You'd stay with me?"

  "Of course. There's no place I'd rather be."

  I look down, and am about to tell him to leave like I normally would, but instead I lay down on the sleeping bag and pull the blanket over me.
<
br />   "So I guess we're sleeping here," he says with a laugh. He lays down beside me, pulling the blanket over both of us.

  I snuggle up next to him, resting my head on his chest.

  "Sit up a little," he says. When I do, he slips his arm under me. "Okay."

  I lay back on his chest and feel him pulling me closer. His other arm closes around my back and I feel him kiss my head. "Goodnight, Raine."

  Having him here, being in his arms, I realize how calm I feel. And safe. For the first time in all my months of sleeping outside, I feel safe.

  "I love you, Miles," I say, the words spilling out before I can stop them.

  Silence follows and my heart races, fearing I said the wrong thing. I freaked him out. He wasn't ready. Or maybe he doesn't feel the same way.

  I start to pull away, but his arms tighten around me.

  "I love you, too, Raine. More than you know."

  My body relaxes and my heart slows back to normal. And then I smile because I know for sure that this is real. I told Gladys I couldn't trust myself to know. That I'd been wrong about love in the past. But this time? This time I know. There's no doubt. No second guessing. No weird feeling in my gut telling me something's off. This time I know it's real.

  Morning arrives before I want it to and when Miles wakes me up, it's still dark.

  "What time is it?" I ask.

  "Just after five. I have to get to the office. I didn't get enough work done last night so I need to get in early. Let's go. You can go back to sleep at my place."

  I get up and start gathering my things. Feeling him staring at me, I look back at him. "What?"

  "You're not going to fight me on it?"

  "Not this time. I really like your bed."

  He comes up behind me, his arms circling around me as he kisses my cheek. "Is that all you like?"

  "I might like the owner of the bed too."

  "Just like?"

  I flip to face him. "I more than like him but it's hard for me to say that so don't expect to hear it again. Or ever."

  "Ever?" His brows rise. "That's a long time. You know, I've heard it gets easier the more you say it. Maybe if you just practiced a little."

  I smile, rolling my eyes.

  "I'll show you." He leans down to my ear. "I love you, Raine. I love you, I love you, I love you." He backs away. "See? It got easier each time."

  "Good to know." I turn back to my stuff and fold up my blanket.

  "What time's the coffee shop open?" he asks.

  "They should be open now."

  "Let's go get some breakfast."

  We leave the tent and go to the coffee shop, greeted by the sound of the coffee grinder and espresso machine. The place is half-full already with office workers getting their caffeine fix before the day starts.

  "Hey, guys!" Zoe says, walking up to us. "You're here early."

  "So are you," I say. "You're working the morning shift now?"

  "Just today. I'm taking Gladys to the doctor this afternoon so I switched shifts with the night manager."

  "The doctor?" I ask, sounding panicked. "Is Gladys okay?"

  "She's fine. This is just a quick check to make sure her lungs are clearing up." Zoe lowers her voice. "I'm not so sure about that free clinic you took her to. I'm sure the doctors there are fine but I'd feel better if she saw my family doctor."

  "It's a good idea. I wasn't sure about that free clinic either. They're always rushing people through. Let me know how the appointment goes."

  "I will. So what brings you here so early?"

  "Miles has to get to work."

  "They make you work a lot of hours?" she asks Miles.

  "They want me to work nonstop but I won't do it. I value my free time." He puts his arm around me.

  Zoe smiles when she sees it. "It was chilly last night." She looks at me. "Did you stay at Miles' place?"

  "Um, no. He stayed here. But it wasn't that cold. Not nearly as bad as the night before."

  "Hopefully we'll stay back at my place tonight," Miles says. "I don't mind camping now and then but I prefer trees and fresh air over street noise and pollution."

  Zoe laughs. "Maybe you could bring the tent to your apartment. Camp inside tonight."

  "That's a good idea," Miles says to me.

  "So what can I get you?" Zoe asks.

  We order coffee and Miles lets me pick from the assortment of pastries, then we bring it all back to his apartment.

  "What do you think about her idea?" Miles asks as we have breakfast on his couch.

  "What idea?"

  "About the tent. Why don't we bring it back here, along with your other stuff?"

  "Why would we do that?"

  "So it doesn't get stolen or destroyed by the weather. We're supposed to have storms later this week. A strong wind or hail could take down the tent and then everything inside it would get wet and ruined."

  "If we do that, I won't have any place to go."

  He motions to his apartment.

  "Yeah, I know I can stay here," I say, "but it doesn't feel right to be here all the time. I need my own place."

  "Which you'll get once you're able to. But for now, would it really be that bad to share an apartment with the guy you love?"

  "I don't—" A smile creeps up my face. "Dammit."

  "Couldn't do it, could you?" he asks before biting into a glazed donut.

  "Do what?" I tear off a piece of apple fritter.

  "You couldn't say you don't love me. Because you do." He takes another bite of his donut, staring at me as he chews.

  "Whatever," I say, rolling my eyes.

  "You don't have to say it." He grabs a napkin from the table and wipes his hands. "I already know." He gets up and walks to the kitchen. "But to be clear on the rules, you can't take it back. Once it's out there, it's done. No backsies."

  "No backsies?" I laugh. "What are we, 12?"

  "I like to think I operate on more like a 15-year-old's level. Maybe 17, although that's pushing it."

  I get up and take the donut bag to the kitchen. "You have a job. An apartment. I'd say that makes you at least 20." I set the bag down. "What's your real age? You never told me."

  "Twenty-five. How about you?"

  "Guess." I lean against the counter, my arms crossed.

  "Twenty?"

  I laugh. "I really look that young? Guess again."

  "Twenty-two."

  "Three. But I haven't been twenty-three very long. I'm still getting used to it," I kid.

  "When was your birthday?"

  "The day we met." I go around him to toss my coffee cup out.

  "Your birthday was the day we met? Why didn't you tell me?"

  "Why would I tell you? I didn't even know you back then. I just said hi to you on my way to the bathroom."

  "What did you do for your birthday?"

  "Same thing I aways do. Walked the streets and waited for people to toss out their leftover food."

  He grabs my hand, stopping me as I try to go past him. "You're telling me you spent your birthday searching through trash?"

  "I prefer to say shopping for leftovers. Sounds better."

  "Raine, that's not a birthday. What about Gladys? Did she know it was your birthday?"

  "No. I told her it was in March so she wouldn't feel like she had to do anything for it." I glance at the clock and see it's almost six. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for work?"

  "In a minute. First we have to figure out this birthday thing."

  "What birthday thing? It's over."

  "It's not over. You didn't celebrate. It didn't count. You need a re-do."

  "A re-do?"

  "Yeah, like when you do something again because it wasn't done right the first time."

  "I know what a re-do is but I don't know why I need a re-do for my birthday."

  "Because it sucked. That wasn't a birthday. It was just another day. We'll re-do it tonight. We'll go out for a nice dinner. Have some drinks. Dessert. And if you want, we'll go to a movie."


  "On a Monday night? What about work? You said you're way behind."

  "I'm always behind. That'll never change. And I hate my job. I can barely stand being there during the day so bringing work home at night is the last thing I want to do."

  "But don't you have to?"

  He smiles. "Stop trying to change the subject. We're going out tonight." He leans down and gives me a kiss. "Happy Birthday!"

  "It's not my birthday," I say as he walks off. He goes in the bathroom and I hear the shower turn on.

  It's sweet he wants to celebrate my birthday. I haven't celebrated it in years, not since I was a kid and one of the teachers at school brought in cupcakes because she knew my dad wouldn't do anything. That was fourth grade. All the other years, my dad would celebrate my birthday by going out so I could have the house to myself. He said that was my gift, which was fine with me. I didn't like having him home. He'd get drunk and play the TV too loud or sometimes he'd bring home a woman and I'd hear them having sex in his room.

  When I was living with Rob, he wasn't home on my birthday. He was off on another one of his trips. Before he left, he gave me three crisp hundred dollar bills and told me to buy whatever I wanted. I didn't really need anything so I had a spa day, which is something I'd never done. Then at night I ordered takeout and ate it in bed while watching TV. It was one of my better birthdays but I wish I hadn't been alone. Rob didn't even call me that day.

  After Miles leaves for work, I take a long hot shower, then wash my clothes. As they're drying, I watch a little TV and fall asleep on the couch. In the afternoon, I head out to search for jobs. With clean clothes and clean hair, I feel more confident now, like I might actually have a chance at a job.

  I skip past the places I went to yesterday that told me they weren't hiring, although I think some of them just told me that because they didn't want me applying. That was definitely true for the fancy clothing boutique I stopped at. The sales girl wouldn't even let me inside. She met me at the door and said they weren't hiring before I could even ask.

  There's a gas station at the corner and when I pass by, I spot a Help Wanted sign. I walk back and go inside. An old bald guy with a huge belly is working the register.