Grim Expectations

by KW Jeter

  “The dimensions of the contretemps are becoming apparent to me.”

  “See it coming, can’t you, George? Our whole venue was already in a complete uproar, and the next thing you know, real cannonballs were whizzing through the air, and blowing up a good number of the performing machines, and the spectators as well. Dreadful sight, I can tell you, especially from a business aspect – your chances of getting repeat customers are greatly diminished when so many of ‘em are lying on the ground, all bloody and in pieces. And then things only got worse, when the real Union and Confederate armies, with bayonets fixed on the muzzles of their rifles, came pouring over the hills and mixed it up there in the middle. Considerable confusion ensued, to describe it in the mildest terms, compounded by there being genuine bullets fired, instead of just the blank rounds that Haze’s machines employed. That resulted in a good deal of our performing stock being damaged beyond repair–”

  “The bastards,” came a darkly muttered comment from the prow. “It wasn’t fair.”

  “No, it wasn’t, Haze; very unsportsmanlike, if you were to ask me. But if fairness is the issue, then I have to admit that those flesh-and-blood soldiers took a beating as well. Seems there was a plethora of bewilderment on their part, when they figured out that some of their fellows, wearing the exact same uniforms, weren’t human at all, but things moved along by gears and cogs. So a regrettable conclusion was reached in the minds of the rank-and-file, that they were trapped in some devilish intrigue, in which no one could be trusted, no matter what the colour of their fighting garb. Well, you can just picture what came of that! The surrounding audience was already in a panic, most attempting to flee for their lives, but a good number in a more bloodthirsty state of mind, and throwing themselves into the carnage they saw before them. Which had by that time devolved into utter chaos, every man for himself, and likewise every machine. By the time it was all over, and the little valley was quiet again, there were no victors on the battlefield, and precious few survivors.”

  “Not counting yourselves, of course.”

  “As I said, George, we’re businessmen, same as you. And it’s extremely hard to stay in business if you’re dead. So yes, prudence dictated a hasty retreat from the scene. Once it was pretty clear that things were out of hand, and there’d be no bringing down the curtain to end what’d become of the performance, we’d scooped up what we could of the financial proceeds, and removed ourselves to a place of safety. And one from which we could take further flight if necessary, which we quickly concluded was the situation, given what we were told by various informants as to the denouement of our grand performance.”

  “I would imagine that those accounts were dire.”

  “Worse than that,” said Blightley. “They were incomplete. A calamity like that, and already it was being hushed up? I had to assume the worst – which was that our theatrical performance had come to the attention of the government, and its interest in the matter was not likely to go pleasantly for me ‘n’ Haze. A considerable embarrassment for both sides of the conflict in which the nation was embroiled, right at a time when both the Union and the Confederates were desperately bent on keeping up the popular morale – hard to see how that could be accomplished while you’re telling folks that their heroic brothers and husbands just annihilated themselves in a phony battle with a bunch of clanking machines. Say what you will about the gullibility of the common folk, they do have some standards as to what they’ll swallow.”

  “Quite a predicament,” I commented. “Obviously, you could not remain in the North, from where you had initiated your theatrical enterprise, nor could you flee to the South, having become equally despised there.”

  “Being despised I could handle, George – a businessman spends most of his life having that much on his plate. But Haze ‘n’ I were facing criminal charges – this is wartime in the States, and you can’t be responsible for blowing up that many men in uniform and not have people thinking you’re guilty of sabotage. They hang people for that! And a Northern rope fits as snug about your neck as a Southern one – no thank you, sir! I’ll take my chances adrift in the great wide world, rather than find myself dangling with my toes above the ground.”

  “I would do more than that, if I were in your position. Might I suggest that you and Mr Haze take what funds are available to you, and invest them in an enterprise more respectable than that of presenting public entertainments? Perhaps a small shop – a tobacconist, say – in a remote English village would provide you both with a means of living, as well as a degree of anonymity that the dramatic stage could never afford you.”

  “Those are words of wisdom, George–” Blightley gave an emphatic nod. “I’ve said as much to myself, and to my partner Haze. But damn me, the theatre’s in my blood! I’m a natural showman, and I can no more put down the trade than I could stopper my own breathing.”

  “How unfortunate for you. Given all that you have told me, it seems more like you are the captain of a ship that you would rather run upon a rocky reef, than set a course for some more modest but sunnier isle.”

  “Be that as it might, George, and I won’t gainsay it. But our course has been set, and our sails are full, even as we speak. Never say die!”

  I held my tongue. It struck me that if those Union and Confederate soldiers he had spoken of, who had been killed in pointless battle – as though History showed there to be another kind – if they had been less dogged in character, they would now be alive, rather than buried in their nameless graves.

  “And the tide has turned,” continued Blightley, “in our favour. The mere fact that we’re sitting here together, having this little talk, shows as much. Why, you’re alive, George – think of that! Took some doing, I can tell you, to get your hide pulled out of that little predicament you’d gotten yourself stuck into, up above. Those scoundrels were fixing to plug you – granted, there’s some fine irony in being murdered in a cemetery, but I’m sure you’d rather have avoided it. So I’m glad we’d been keeping an eye on you, and determined where those Funerary Society folks were planning to drag you to, so we could get our trapdoor arrangements in place – you can thank Haze for it all working out so well.”

  “You were lying in wait for me?”

  “Don’t make it sound so scoundrel-like, George; we meant you no harm, but only good – you can see that, can’t you? We mighta been a bit secretive about it, and most times people go skulking about in the dark, that’s an indicator of something nefarious in their intention – but our circumstances forced our hand that way. Those scallywags that were shooting at you – they’re a bad lot. If Haze ‘n’ I had been out in the open with getting ahold of you, very likely they’d’ve put a couple of bullets through our heads as well, and not just yours.”

  “Those persons – the men with the rifles, hunting me – you know who they are?”

  “Well …” This time, the American’s shrug was of a more noncommittal nature. “A bit.”

  “And why they pursue me, with such lethal design? Does your knowledge include that?”

  “Mr Dower, I have to tell you – these are trivialities you’re stewing your mind up with. We’ve got more important matters to think about.”

  “Trivialities?” I regarded him in amazement. “They tried to kill me! More than once!”

  “Right there’s the problem with someone not having plied the theatrical trade – if you had, a smidgen more perspective would be yours. Why, if I spent my time mulling over all the reasons folk might have for doing me in – from stiffing ‘em on a contract, to being a bit free ‘n’ easy with the cashbox – I’d be thinking of nothing else. What a waste of time!” Blightley wagged an admonitory finger at me. “Here’s my word of advice, George – I just assume that everybody wants to take a shot at me, and it’s only a matter of convenience as to whether they act on the notion or not. They can keep their reasons, whatever they might be, and I’ll just go about my business. You should do the same.”

  I considered the pos
sibilities presented by the man’s advice. The first such was that he was an idiot, or otherwise deranged – I have had so much experience with the like, for it to have become tiresomely familiar. That madmen walk freely about is a reflection upon the nature of the world; these persons are more comfortable here than those of sounder mind.

  The other alternative striking me was that his blithe dismissal of murderers in general had a more specific intent; that being one of concealment. My suspicions were aroused; in all probability, Blightley knew a good deal more about those stalking me, but for some reason did not wish to divulge what he knew. For now, his reasons were unguessable; if he were in league with those others, why hadn’t he simply left me to their dubious mercies, rather than going to such lengths to rescue me? And if opposed to them, why not expand upon their villainy, and thereby induce me to repose greater trust in him?

  His words having set this mystery before me, I decided to leave them where they lay, and make no further inquiry on the point. Having already refused the divulgence of what he knew, he was unlikely to acquiesce if pressed; better to wait for a later opportunity to present itself.

  “Very well,” I said. “On to, as you say, more important matters.”

  “That’s the spirit!” From pure enthusiasm, Blightley swung a fist across his chest. “I knew you and us’d get along. We can get a lawyer to draw up the papers somewhere down the road, when things have settled down a bit more. Important thing is for all of us to get to work – we’re friends now, but when the money’s rolling in, we won’t just be business partners – more like brothers, if you know what I mean!”

  “A moment, please. Mr Blightley, I have no memory of stating an intention to join you and Mr Haze in any commercial venture.”

  “Huh – well, I’ll be damned.” The other man frowned in perplexity. “I just kinda assumed… why wouldn’t you?”

  “You must understand – I have had similar offers before. Some I have accepted, and others I have been bludgeoned into; the ones I refused, or managed to escape, are the only ones of which I have a comfortable memory. Those who desire my assistance with their various mad schemes – and I confess that your previous endeavours seem to be cut from the same cloth – they do not seek me; they seek my father. Who is dead. A great many of his creations live on, however, in their clanking, grinding way – he must have been busy indeed while alive, ceaselessly bolting together one device after another; so perhaps the neglect of his familial duties toward his son are understandable. But if I did not inherit any affection from him, then neither was his genius bestowed on me. You and the partner you already have – together you have conceived the notion that your fortune lies with placing mechanical performers on the world’s stages. Perhaps you are right about that, though the dire history you have related would seem to indicate otherwise. Be that as it may; my meagre talents are not such that I can assist you to tumultuous success or calamitous ruin.”

  “Selling yourself short, George – that’s what you’re doing!” Blightley shook his head. “But you can’t buffalo me; I know as much about your history as you do – maybe more. And I’ll be honest as I can with you, since there’s a coupla things you’re a little confused about. One, it’s not your talents or your genius that’s so attractive to me – those are pretty overrated things, in my opinion. Haze’s cleverness will have to suffice for both of us, since I don’t have much along those lines, ‘cept an eye for the main chance. But you have something of better value’n either of those, and that’s your name – or to put it another way, your reputation. Maybe there was a time – I believe it so – when that Dower moniker you carry ‘round was something of a secret, known only to the cognoscenti of clockwork marvels and steam-driven wonders, and of course to those in the employ of Her Majesty’s various bureaus, whose job it is to keep all sorts of disasters and fearsome occurrences hushed up. And of course, you did a fair bit of keeping yourself anonymous, by burying yourself in that damp little hole out on the coast of nowhere. But things as enormous as these can’t be covered up for long; giants have a habit of stomping out into the open with their incredible large boots laced up to the knees. Which is pretty much what happened, figuratively speaking, when your associates set loose that enormous walking lighthouse up above in London town.”

  “Please…” Pained by his words and the memories they evoked, I held up a hand as though to shield my face from their further onslaught. “If I have not managed to evade that infamy, it is not for lack of trying.”

  “Infamy? Damnation, George – little wonder you’re not rich! That’s not infamy we’re talking about – it’s fame. A golden crown, just waiting for you to pick it up and set it on your fool head. There’s no greater advertisement than death and destruction, leastways after a little time has passed, and people have gotten over their petty personal tragedies, loved ones being kilt and stuff like that. And you’ve achieved a great deal in that line, whether you like it or not. A coupla years’ve gone by, and now all that people remember is the splendid excitement they had, seeing the Houses of Parliament get smashed to flinders. Let’s face it – the theatre wouldn’t exist at all, if it weren’t for people desperately requiring some escape from their plodding daily lives. Me ‘n’ Haze, even with that fiasco we set off back in the States, we’d have to go some to match the kind of performance with which your name is linked.”

  The other’s peroration, I knew, had been intended to sway me to his cause, as trumpet calls are employed to inspire soldiers – the flesh-and-blood ones, that is – to deeds of martial glory. But it had the contrary effect, oppressing me even deeper; he might just as well have thrust me under the black waters surrounding the gondola, and held me there until no more breath bubbled from my lips. In times past, I confess, I had contemplated the sin of suicide; once again, I regretted that circumstance and the infirmity of my self-destructive resolve had swayed me from that extinguishing course.

  “I beg of you…” My gaze lifted imploringly to his. “Desist from your entreaties. You wish to flatter me, I know, and bind my fate to yours. It is a vain hope on your part; you mistake me for someone of both greater mettle and wider ambition.”

  “Stuff and nonsense!” Blightley would not be turned aside so easily. “Whatever greatness you personally lack – and we’re all cowards to some degree – your name has it in spades. And that is all that we require from you, to press forward with our joint enterprise. You’re not the genius of machinery that your father was – so what? Haze can supply whatever clockwork jiggery-pokery that we’ll need along the way. Why, you’d be virtually a silent partner in our company; we do all the work, and you can mope about all you want, but with a decent share of the proceeds in your pockets to console you.”

  “If my name is all you require – then take it!” I spread out my empty hands. “I freely give it to you. Trumpet about the land whatever association you wish people to believe I have with you, and you will not hear me saying otherwise. Just leave me be, to seek out some dark concealing corner, and you and Mr Haze can split your profits between you, without a single penny coming to me.”

  “Doesn’t work that way, George.” Blightley shook his head. “The name has to have a body attached to it, and that’d be you. The grand entertainments we have in mind for the public, they’ll be unlike anything ever seen before – but other entrepreneurs have already attempted the same, and they’ve dismally failed, for the lack of exactly what you can provide. Not everyone hooks up the name Dower with clanking huge machinery, but they haven’t yet forgotten the thrilling chaos bestowed upon ‘em by those gears and cogs that your father first concocted. We have both History and Truth on our side, which is not always the case when it comes to promotion, I can tell you that much! But to make the sale – to get the punters, as I’ve heard ‘em called in this country, to demand that we take their money – for that, we need a living and verifiable Dower to front for us. Without you, George, we’d be sneered at as frauds and charlatans, and all our dreams ‘n’ hopes wou
ld be smashed to bits on the rocks of public indifference.” His voice had risen considerably as he had spoken, but now he let it fall to a more sombre pitch. “You have to help us out, George – why, we’re nothing without you.”

  “I’m sorry –” In truth, I wasn’t; the man’s maudlin self-pity steeled my determination to find a way free of the pair. “But you fail to understand the forces you are attempting to unleash. Did your own experiences, on your American battlefield, teach you nothing about the dangers involved with these machines? It is one thing to be an observer of bloody chaos, as someone buying a ticket to one of your shows might delight in, but to be the instigator of it – this is hubris, Mr Blightley, as the ancients warned of; you bring about your own destruction by indulging in that folly.”

  “George, my pal, you do us wrong. I’m sure you think that we’re just colonial bumpkins, pawing at machines we don’t understand, the way a monkey would with a wind-up clock, ‘cause he’s enchanted by the ticking sound it makes. But we’re a bit smarter’n all that, I’ll have you know; we’re more’n able to learn from our mistakes. Sure, tinkering with devices such as your famous father created, and the like that my clever partner can come up with, it has its dangers; nobody knows that better than us! But worse than danger, it has something far more terrible – it has expenses. Damn clanking things cost a packet to build – ‘specially if you do it at the level our Mr Haze does.”