Blackout: Still Surviving

by Boyd Craven III

  In the house behind me, both my grandparents were talking, Raider was going insane, and I heard the crackle of a radio somewhere nearby. The door opened, and Raider came running out. I flicked the safety back on and watched as he took off like a shot behind the house, scattering chickens for the second time that day. He was barking all out, and I turned to see Les running for his Suburban.

  “Raider, stop!” I called.

  He skidded and almost went over and turned to me. I let out a shrill whistle, and he took off running, this time in my direction. I turned to make sure the guy who’d got knocked off the ATV wasn’t going to gun me in the back. He was still down where he’d tumbled off. I walked to right about where the ATV had tipped the first time and picked up the rifle that had come loose. I unloaded it as I saw Linda’s team come out of the woodwork.

  Jessica made it to the downed ATV driver before I did and checked his pulse. She shook her head and walked over to me.

  “You don’t need to see that, we got this,” she told me.

  “I… Somebody needs to check on Les, they were shooting at him. Carter—”

  “Carter may have an injured friendly in the Suburban,” Jessica said, taking me by the arm and pulling me gently away from the grizzly sight in the driveway.

  Raider whined and then let out a nervous bark, spinning in a circle once like he was chasing his tail, but I knew that’s how he was burning off some nervous energy.

  “Got it,” Carter called and turned.

  “Where're the others?” I asked.

  “Lyle is on his way to get the other two quads,” she said softly.

  “The drivers, are they all…?”

  Dead? I wanted to ask. Wanted to know, didn’t want to know. Had I just killed a man? Three suddenly dead. I knew I’d pulled the trigger, I was right there. I’d felt that half a heartbeat long moment when the pin hit the primer, firing the slug down my barrel. I knew the way the rider went backward, his head snapping almost straight back, that I had probably—

  “Yeah, we have to do cleanup, and I doubt we’re all going to be able to get out of here today,” she said softly.

  Raider made a nervous whine and looked back at the house.

  “Jess,” her mom said, coming out on the porch, “we need to get all this undercover. We don’t know if this is a scouting team.”

  “Mind if we stash the quads in the barn?” she asked me.

  Jess had a smudge of something on one lovely cheek. I brushed it off with my thumb, and it smeared red across her cheek. I looked at the blood on my thumb then back at her. Linda made an exasperated sound and then started barking into her radio. I walked over to the porch again and put the shotgun and rifle down, leaning them against the railing. With both arms, I was able to monkey the quad back on four tires. It was an older Honda four-wheel-drive quad with an automatic transmission. Something tickled the back of my mind, but I couldn’t pin down the memory. Not wanting to make noise, I pushed on the quad and was able to back it up so I could steer it toward the barn.

  Raider jumped on it and spun around in a circle. I had to laugh, the added weight sucked, but he wasn’t like pushing an extra two hundred pounds of human.

  “You getting your ride in early?” I asked him.

  He barked once and then got on the back rack near where I was pushing and licked me in the face and hopped down. He took off running in the direction behind me, and I heard him start to growl. I turned to look and saw two of Linda’s team dragging the man I’d shot toward the tall grass. Raider had grabbed him by the leg, and it turned into a grizzly tug of war. Jessica screamed a command to him to stop, but he ignored her. He was furious, and for the first time, I saw something wild in his eyes I’d never seen before.

  He knew hatred, and he hated the dead man. “Raider,” I shouted. “Off, get over here.” I yelled far louder than I’d intended.

  He let go, sending one of the men stumbling slightly without my buddy trying to tear his boot off. He turned and started walking my way. I swear, if a dog could stomp and be pissed off and petulant, that was Raider at that moment.

  “We need to hurry, just in case there’s more,” Linda said, walking up next to me and putting her weight behind the quad.

  That did the trick, and it started rolling faster. We steered it into the barn, and I parked it on the right side of my truck near the junk pile. I heard two motors fire up somewhere behind me and then the chainsaw buzzing sound of their motors grew louder until Jessica and Jimmy drove in and parked behind the one I was getting off.

  “If they were an advance party, the group behind them expects to hear the motors. I doubt they can pinpoint the sound with these hills,” Jessica said, noting the sweat on my brow.

  “Should’ve thought of that,” I admitted as Raider walked up to me stiff legged.

  “What are you so pissed off about?” Jessica asked him.

  He let out a low growl, not a threatening one, but to me, it conveyed all the pent-up anger his body language was putting off. Linda took a nervous step back from him. That’s when I noted the fur along the ridge of his back was up, and he kept looking at me and then back out the door.

  “You knew that man,” I said suddenly, things snapping into place.

  He let that sound out again, and I put my hand on his head, working my fingers behind his ears in the way he liked. He started to relax after a moment, and Linda went out to take care of something.

  “I don’t how who he was, buddy, but he’s not going to come around here anymore. You don’t have to worry, we’re going to put him in a hole when we know it’s safe.”

  He let out a low whine and sat down and looked from me to Jessica.

  “I don’t know what that man did to him,” Jessica said, “but I think you nailed it. You think he was the one who dumped him here?”

  “Only thing I can figure. He seems familiar with the ATV, and I’ve never seen him react like that before, ever.”

  “I have to get going for a little bit,” Jessica said. “We’re going to have to keep an eye out for the rest of the day, and I think my mom’s going to do some scouting. If I don’t see you until later on…”

  I reached up and dabbed at the blood spot again, finding she had a small scratch under her eye. Her eyes closed a second as I looked it over. “Going to have to patch you up soon,” I told her.

  She opened her eyes. “Tis only a flesh wound,” she said in a horrible English accent.

  I leaned in and kissed her hard. It was like fireworks going off all at once. The adrenaline, the pain, the confusion. This though, this right here…

  “Carter said Les is fine,” Linda said from the doorway of the barn, breaking the mood.

  I backed up, and Jessica brushed her hands against her lips a moment and then slugged me in the arm.

  “What was that for?” I asked her.

  “Some first date,” she told me, breaking out into a grin. “You owe me, buster!” She pointed right at me.

  “It’s a deal,” I told her, Raider giving out one happy bark, his tail wagging.

  25

  Linda, Jessica, Carter and the team all vanished. Curt and Margie had woken up during all the commotion, and when I went back inside, both she and Curt were sitting by the windows and Les, who was shaking like a leaf, was sitting at the dining table with Grandpa.

  “…was heading this way when my side window was shot out.”

  “Which way did they come from?” Grandpa asked.

  “Old Mueller farm. That two track that runs from last year’s soy field to the barn. They were just inside the tree line there. I was just moseying through, taking my time, when the window shattered. At first, I had no idea what was going on, then I see three fellas with rifles come roaring out at me shooting. That’s when I gunned it.”

  “Don’t work yourself into a stroke,” Margie chided.

  “I ain’t about to—”

  “Les,” I said, pulling the chair out on the other side of him.

  “How you d
oing, Westley?” he asked, his hands shaking as he tried to lift a coffee cup of black gold to his lips.

  “I’m not sure yet,” I admitted. “So you don’t know why they were after you?” I asked.

  “Not a clue,” he told me.

  “Old Mueller farm,” Grandpa said, rubbing a chin full of stubble, “that’s a bit off from the yahoos across the street.”

  “What are you thinking?” Grandma asked him.

  “Might not be them,” Grandpa said. “I wonder if them’s the grandkids of old man Mueller?”

  “If it is, it’s more like great grandkids,” Les said, finally getting a sip of coffee in his mouth. “His grandkids are… were… my son’s age.”

  I processed that for a moment, his son had… It was a car accident, I remembered that. He’d lost his wife and son in the accident? Was I confusing more than one story Grandpa had told me?”

  “Would you know any of them if you…?”

  “I don’t want to see them,” he said quickly.

  “Yeah, I don’t blame you. How you holding up, Grandson?” Grandpa asked.

  “Fine,” I told him.

  “You sure about that?” Grandma asked me.

  I looked up at her. “Why wouldn’t I be fine?” I asked.

  “Because you shot…” she started but didn’t finish the words.

  “I never got close enough to see whose bullet stopped him,” I told them and walked to the stove.

  There was a pot of warm water, and I took it to the plastic basin we’d started keeping near the sink. I poured half of it in and then half cold water from a pitcher we kept handy. I returned the pot to the stove after dumping the rest of the pitcher into it and went back to the sink and splashed water on my face and in my hair then stared into the water. I had killed someone. I knew it had to have been me, despite what I’d said. My shot had gone true. I’d slowed my breathing, the way I’d been taught when I’d learned how to shoot.

  Concentrate. Breathe in. Breathe out. I could feel my heart rate slowing. Could I live with myself? I thought so. The man I’d killed had been with the group chasing and trying to kill Les. If I hadn’t shot, or if the group hadn’t been here, it would have been three guns against me, Grandpa, who I doubted could hold up long, and Grandma, who was good for a shot or two. Those would have been overwhelming odds for us, and Lester would have died. What did they want? Questions I didn’t have answers to swirled through my brain, and I splashed warm water over my face again and stared down. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

  “Don’t dwell on it too much,” Curt said.

  He’d gotten up from where he’d been sitting, and despite the pain, he’d walked over here. I was touched.

  “Just trying—”

  “I know a little bit about what you’re going through right now. I want to tell you two things,” he said, his lips still crusted and scabbed from his beatings. “One, you did the right thing in the right way, and two, you’ll never forget this moment, but if you realize the first part I told you, you won’t be haunted and defined by it.”

  “He should know,” Margie said.

  “You served?” I asked him.

  “When I was young, dumb, and full of—”

  Grandma gently whacked the backside of his head, and he let out a small yelp. That set Raider off, who got between him and me and he started barking in a high sharp voice.

  “It’s ok, buddy,” I said, reaching down to pet him. “We’re all on edge here, and everyone feels the backhand of justice from time to time.”

  Grandma smiled. “You missed your coffee when you rushed out,” she said, holding up a cup.

  It had cooled enough that it was warm, not hot. I gulped it down, suddenly feeling in the pit of my stomach the emptiness. I needed food.

  Linda’s team dragged the bodies to the northeast corner of the property. We’d debated digging them a grave, and in the end, we did it. Somebody had to go to the farm they’d come from and check on the old man. We didn’t know what we’d find there. Were these three the only ones there? Was there another encampment of bad guys? What did you even call them? Linda decided to send somebody out to check while we still had daylight. Over my objections mostly, it was Jessica and her mother who went. They both could move silently, and they had the most experience. I wasn’t sure what that meant for the rest of the guys who were supposed to leave at nightfall, but Jimmy had snuck off about an hour before dusk to spy on the group across the street at Crater of Diamonds.

  “It gets easier,” Carter said, surprising me.

  I opened my eyes; I’d been sitting on an old stump that had once supported a fine tree. It’d snapped in near tornado winds when I was a kid, but part of it remained.

  “The killing?” I asked him.

  “The getting over it,” he said.

  “What’s your story, you served?” I asked him.

  “No, I was… am, an EMT. The first guy I had to die on the cart haunted me for a long time. It gets you in a way that only people who’ve seen death can understand. It’s not an easy thing to deal with. All I’m saying.”

  “I hear you,” I told him. “I’ll be fine.”

  “I’m sure you will be, just wanted you to know.”

  “So, Carter, I know you guys don’t like talking about things, but how did your whole survival group get started?” I asked him.

  His eyes crinkled and he smiled. “Actually, it was our parents and some of the people’s here grandparents. Remember the drills in the early 80s when the Cold War was big?”

  “I’ve heard about them,” I admitted.

  “That’s right, you’re Jess’s age,” he said. “Anyway, it was right about then. My father was concerned, and quite a few people he was friends with were as well. They started hanging out some to talk about things, and when people gave them the hairy eyeball, they went more secret. People started stocking up, trying to outlive the half-life of radiation if it ever hit. Some of us dug shelters or reinforced root cellars at our places. Then this large tract of land became available for logging. It was like Christmas. Unless you were looking for us, you’d never know we were there. Plus, Jess has those big ass dogs, like your Raider there,” he said, pointing at my feet.

  I reached down and scratched behind his ears unconsciously, and the dog let out a groan of pleasure and leaned into my hand.

  “So what happened when the Cold War ended?” I asked him.

  “We knew… or suspected, it was only temporary,” he said. “Then there was Y2K, China, North Korea; there was always something. For some, me included, it became a lifestyle. Sort of how it looks like you’re doing the same thing here, except with fewer resources.”

  I didn’t tell him about the root cellar. We’d let things in the house get a little bare. We’d have to restock soon though, and I was thankful for the huge harvest of potatoes we’d put up. Les had calmed down and had been talking to Curt and my grandpa as the sun had set. I couldn’t stand knowing people were out there and we were waiting, so I’d gone outside, where Carter had somehow found me.

  “We’ll do ok,” I told him after a minute.

  “I have no doubt,” he said, staring off into the darkness.

  I marveled at how, just the other night, the moonlight had been so bright I could see well without fire or artificial light, but with a little cloud cover, the night was pitch black.

  “By the way, Linda and Jessica are going to be back soon. We have to get going not too long after that.”

  “Listen, Carter… Thanks,” I told him, holding out my hand.

  He shook it and got up from where he’d hunkered down. “No problem. You seem to be a good kid. Jess is like a little sister to me, so if you ever—”

  “I promise,” I said, smiling tiredly.

  “Good, just so we’re clear.”

  “No offense, Carter,” I told him, “but I think she could take both of us on, and that’s before she calls her dogs into the scuffle.”

  “That she can, but that’s not what I
meant,” he said a little gruffly, showing me I’d hit a nerve.

  “I know what you meant.”

  He turned and headed back off into the dark, probably to do more watching and waiting. I got off the stump and sat down on the ground, putting my back into it. Raider belly climbed over and laid next to my legs and put his head on my knee, looking at me thoughtfully.

  “I’m just going to rest a minute,” I said, patting my side to make sure the pistol hadn’t come loose.

  I heard the screen door bang shut and woke up. I’d fallen asleep and, at some point, Raider had gone. I got up slowly and stretched. As quietly as I could, I headed back to the house and peeked in. Everyone was back and getting ready. I pushed the door open and saw Raider was near it, sitting at near attention, watching things.

  “There you are,” Grandma said. “Worried you’d fallen asleep and was going to miss saying your goodbyes.”

  I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake up. “I sort of did.”

  “I couldn’t find you in the dark again,” Carter said. “Didn’t want to call out in case you were being quiet for a reason…”

  “No, it’s fine,” I told him. “What did you all learn?” I asked.

  Jimmy looked at the others, and Linda nodded. “The group at the park is pissed. They think somebody from their camp, or even Curt and Margie, set up the diversion so they could escape.”

  I nodded, trying to focus and understand the words, but my brain was still slow and fogged from waking up.

  “How close were you?” Curt asked him.

  “I snuck in near the trailer they had you two staying in,” he told them.

  Curt shivered, probably reliving some of the horrors he’d experienced there.

  “Curt,” I asked, “how many of the people there are there willingly?” It had been a topic I’d been avoiding.

  “Most of them,” he said. “I only got the impression that there was some folk there who had no other choice. Didn’t like everything that was going on, but wouldn’t do shit to help us.”

  “Except the Marshall kid,” Margie piped up.