My Fate According to the Butterfly

by Gail Villanueva

  But I didn’t expect her to laugh.

  “Don’t be a snob, Sab,” Pepper says when she’s done laughing at my expense. “Just because he doesn’t dress like you doesn’t mean he’s dangerous.”

  I grit my teeth. Pepper doesn’t get it.

  The man is leaning on the wall of the dingy apartment building, just a few vendors away from the rude lady who tried to sell Ate Nadine skin whiteners. He keeps looking from left to right, but his gaze always lingers when it passes by our general direction. It’s too suspicious to ignore.

  “He’s been lurking around, Pepper,” I insist. “He was there at the waiting shed, staring at us, and now he’s followed us here.”

  It’s hard to explain, but it’s a gut feeling I have. He’s bad news. I don’t care if Pepper doesn’t believe in the Butterfly. I’m not going to risk it. I just know this man is following us.

  “Calm down. Geez.” Pepper rolls her eyes in a very Ate-Nadine-like fashion. You know, the eye roll that never fails to make me feel ridiculous. “He won’t hurt anyone.”

  “But Ate—”

  “Fine. Let’s move closer to your sister without her knowing. If that man still follows us, then you’re right. Now stay behind me.” Pepper pushes me aside, and I do as she ordered. My friend puts on a big smile and walks up to the tattoo vendor. She points at the food cart down the alley. “Mang Larry, we’re really hungry. We were supposed to eat with Ate Nadine, but she left. Can we buy food from there?”

  Mang Larry purses his lips, and Pepper’s innocent blue eyes turn big and round. I can see his defenses melting already. No one can resist Pepper’s charms.

  I rub my tummy for effect. The big-eyed look never works for me. I’m just not white and pretty enough.

  “Very well,” Mang Larry says with a sigh. “Don’t go far, children. This alley might be generally safe, but there are bad folks lurking about.”

  There’s only one bad person lurking about, and it’s that man.

  The food-cart attendant is frying hard-boiled quail eggs covered in orange tempura-like batter. The stench of gas from the portable stove is far from appetizing. Still, the sizzling sound of kwek-kwek as they float in the oil is music to my ears—and stomach.

  “Six pieces for me, please,” Pepper says as she fishes coins from her purse. The vendor drops kwek-kwek in a plastic cup for Pepper. “Sab, you better tell him how many you want, because I’m going to finish all these.”

  “Are you serious?” I ignore the vendor and glare at my friend. “You said we’re following Ate Nadine! Now we’ve lost her.”

  Pepper squeezes spiced vinegar over the fried quail eggs and uses a barbecue stick to stuff one inside her mouth. “Can-spa-we-uhm-huh-gri.”

  “What?” I take a step back as kwek-kwek bits land on my arm. “Gross!”

  With a totally unapologetic grin, Pepper swallows, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. “I said, I can’t spy when I’m hungry. Chuck says in season one that you should always have food when you’re on a stakeout. The man’s gone, by the way. He would have followed us if he had bad intentions. As for your sister …” Before I can protest, she points across the alley. “Look over there.”

  The scrawny vendor lady sits on a stool beside her huge tray of skin whiteners. People (particularly women) scowl as they pass her by, probably because she’s using insults to sell her products. Behind her is a revolving stand full of colorful cell phone cases, where a young woman is browsing—Ate Nadine.

  I frown. “She has a gazillion cases already. What does she need a new one for?”

  It’s unfair for Ate Nadine to get mad at Dad for spending on tattoos when she’s buying every plastic case that fits her phone. Dad likes collecting tattoos. She likes collecting cases. They’re both the same.

  “That’s not what I meant.” Pepper dismisses my concern with a wave.

  I squint, studying my sister closer. She’s shifting through the cell phone cases, but her eyes are elsewhere and her phone is in her hand. I follow her gaze, and Pepper does the same.

  A few vendors down, there are guys as old as Ate Nadine hanging out beside the apartment building’s back door. A short man wearing a cap as orange as a kwek-kwek appears.

  Ate Nadine lifts up her phone.

  “She’s spying on them.” Pepper’s breath reeks of spiced vinegar. “They’re probably the people her boss wants her to investigate.”

  “I don’t— Oh no!” I gasp. The guy has reappeared. This time, he’s heading for Ate Nadine.

  “What?”

  “It’s the man again. He did follow us!”

  Pepper narrows her eyes, then they gloss over like they do when she’s deep in thought. “You know, you might be right about him. But I can’t be sure.”

  I am sure. I knew that man had bad intentions from the start. He’s probably the leader of those batang hamog. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s also a drug addict. But the thing is, he’s going to hurt Ate Nadine, and I can’t let that happen.

  “We should wait and see. I mean, there are a lot of people in this alley. He can’t just go around hurting people, especially since your sister seems to know a lot of people here …”

  Pepper’s rambling, but I’m not really hearing her anymore.

  I have to do something.

  Anything.

  “… I mean, those guys she’s filming can’t be that dangerous, right? It’s too early for them to do anything iffy. Maybe we should go back to the stickers stand. Hmm … Yes, that’s what we should do— Sab! Where are you going?”

  I hear Pepper’s protests, but I ignore her. I dash across the alley, pushing my way between people and merchandise.

  “Hoy!” an angry male voice calls. I ignore him too.

  “Ate!” I need to get to my sister. I need to warn her. “Ahh-teh!”

  My sister looks up from her phone, surprised. She slips the phone inside her pocket. “Sab, where’s Pepper? What are you—”

  A stabbing pain pierces my upper thigh as I bump into the corner of a merchandise tray. “OW!”

  Bottles of skin whiteners go crashing to the ground. The scrawny woman vendor belts out a slew of curses as bad as the president’s on TV—but without the bleeps.

  I feel bad not helping the woman pick up her stuff, but I can’t stop now. I’ll say sorry later. The batang hamog leader is right behind Ate Nadine now.

  “Ate, watch out!” I point at the bad guy, gasping for breath. “Behind you!”

  “Sab, don’t.” It’s Pepper. She’s caught up with me, breathing as heavily as I am.

  The man takes another step closer.

  “Go away!” I shout. “Don’t hurt her!”

  “What are you talking about?” Ate Nadine spins looks around and finally sees the man. “Oh.”

  Oh? What does that mean, “Oh”?

  I’m starting to be aware that people are gathering around us. The lotion vendor is still screaming bad words. I push the self-conscious feelings aside, but somehow, words fail me. I glance at Pepper, pleading for help.

  My friend looks the man straight in the eye as she rummages through her pockets. “Is it money you want? We don’t have a lot, but will this do—”

  Ate Nadine bursts out laughing. “No way.”

  Pepper and I exchange bewildered looks.

  “What’s so funny with what I said?” Pepper asks, a frown spreading across her face.

  To my surprise, Ate Nadine walks to the man’s side. He’s not laughing like her, but it’s almost as if he’s trying not to.

  “Sorry about that,” Ate Nadine tells him, patting his shoulder. “Girls, meet my friend Jepoy. I asked him to meet us here. Jepoy, the white girl is Pepper. And this judgmental one is my baby sister, Sab.”

  The man called Jepoy grins. His long lashes are prettier up close. “Hey.”

  Pepper turns red like an overripe tomato. I want to sink into the ground. Or maybe hide under the skin whiteners strewn all over the alley.

  “Are you all just going
to stand there?” The scrawny vendor woman has stopped cursing and screaming. She stands before us, hands on her hips, her eyes smoldering like a volcano ready to erupt. “Help me get my lotions back, you little brats!”

  WEDNESDAY

  “ATE, PHONE CALL FOR YOU.” My sister’s bedroom door is ajar, but I still knock. The last time I barged in uninvited, her fury nearly blasted me to smithereens.

  “Come in.” Ate Nadine is on the floor, right in the middle of scattered photos, opened folders, and piles of paper. “Sab, stop wasting printer ink on those useless butterfly articles. It’s really annoying having it run out just when I need to print my article—”

  “Phone call,” I repeat. Honestly, I’m not in the mood for a lecture right now. I’ve had enough of getting screamed at yesterday. The angry lady vendor wouldn’t stop shouting until we left the alley. I don’t think I can ever look at a bottle of skin whitener the same way again. “It’s your boss from the paper. She said she’s been trying to reach you, but your cell phone is turned off.”

  Ate Nadine bounces from the floor like a jack-in-the-box, rushing past me to answer the phone downstairs. She leaves her door open and notes flying about.

  I hold back the urge to roll my eyes. If my sister paid me a teeniest bit of the attention she gives her boss, I’d welcome the Butterfly’s warning and die happy.

  Sighing, I take Ate Nadine’s cell phone and plug it in to a charger. The battery is totally empty, and she had no idea, even though it’s right beside her laptop. My sister will hate me for saying this, but really, she’s a lot like Dad in so many ways. They can be so focused on their work that the world around them simply disappears.

  “Duck alert! Duck alert!” Pepper calls from outside Ate Nadine’s room. The noisy flip-flopping of rubber slippers follows Lawin’s quacking. I stick my head out into the hallway, where Pepper is running toward me. “Watch out, Sab. The door—”

  Too late.

  Lawin has already snuck inside, waddling straight to my sister’s pile of papers on the floor. He picks up an important-looking document with his beak.

  “Leave that alone, you little monster!” Pepper lunges for Lawin, but he zips past her. “Argh! Sab, get him before he—”

  I try to grab the duck, but he wiggles away from me.

  “—poops.” Pepper groans. “We are so dead.”

  Forget the Butterfly. Ate Nadine is going to kill me.

  “I’ll get some wet tissue. Don’t let him poop again.” My friend hurries to Ate Nadine’s bathroom.

  Lawin struggles in my grasp, but I hold him tight under my right arm this time. “We are going to be in so much trouble.” The duck lets out a raspy quack as I rummage through the wastebasket with my free hand. I take a crumpled piece of paper and use it to remove most of the poop. Thankfully, the poop didn’t seep through to the stuff inside the folder. “Yeah, this is your fault. Why can’t you behave for once? I let you poop in my room, but you can’t do that in Ate’s— Hey, I know this place!”

  Inside Ate Nadine’s folder labeled “For Interview” is a brochure of a facility featuring a purple-and-pink building on the main flap. I open it up and see that Ate Nadine has circled the photo of an old man in doctor’s clothes.

  I remember him. He had less gray hair when I saw him, but I will never forget his face. He has this perpetual scowl and two huge front teeth that make him look like a grouchy old rabbit. Maybe I just don’t like him because he was the doctor who coldly told us we weren’t allowed to take Daddy home.

  Mom said the doctor was helping Dad with his medical condition. Well, Dad was depressed. Why would Ate Nadine want to talk to a doctor who treats depression for her article?

  “I’d leave that alone, if I were you.” Pepper joins me and Lawin on the floor. She dabs the wet tissue on Ate Nadine’s “For Interview” folder. “You know how your sister gets when people go through her things. She’ll eat you alive.”

  I toss her the facility flyer. “Dad went there to get treatment for his depression. Ate is going to interview his old doctor. Why?”

  Pepper sighs and brings out her cell phone. There’s a series of clicks as she snaps photos of the papers and folders scattered about. “There. You can stare at them later for as long as you want. Now help me clean up—”

  “What are you two doing in here?” I get a sick feeling in my stomach as Ate Nadine stands before us, hands on her hips. Her eyes widen when they see the wet stain on the folder. “Oh my g— Is that poop on my notes? SAB!”

  Lawin quacks in panic. His claws scratch my skin as he thrashes in my arms. From the corner of my eye, I see Pepper slide the brochure back inside the folder.

  Thankfully, Ate Nadine is too furious to notice. “How many times do I have to tell you? You can’t keep the duck inside the house. Ang tigas ng ulo mo.”

  “I’m not hardheaded!” I hug Lawin closer as I stand. He’s my duck, and I can’t let my sister take him away from me. “He’ll be lonely out there, Ate. This won’t happen again, promise. I’ll potty train him.”

  “Hey, hey. Stop it. Keep scaring Lawin, and he’ll poop again.” Pepper wedges herself between my sister and me, holding her arm wide to keep us apart. “You’re both right. Our ducks are happier in our yard with the pond and all. Lawin grew up with humans, so he’ll get very lonely out there. And Mama said he can’t be potty trained ever because he doesn’t have the butt muscles to hold his poop. But there’s a way.”

  “If you can put a giant cork into that butt, you can keep him inside.” Ate Nadine crosses her arms over her chest. “If not, Mom’s gonna hear about this, and that poop machine will stay in the yard.”

  “I don’t need a cork.” Pepper shakes her head. “Can I borrow your sewing kit?”

  “It’s in the cabinet below the altar in the hallway.” My sister walks past my duck and me. She takes the soiled folder and heads for the bathroom. “Don’t get pricked.”

  Ate Nadine shuts the door behind her. I remain rooted in place, carrying my duck.

  “Let’s go, Sab,” Pepper says in a soft voice. She gently touches my shoulder. “She’ll forgive you and Lawin. Don’t worry.”

  It’s not what I’m worried about. “Can I see the photos on your phone?”

  “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE ARE done! Am I a genius, or what?” Pepper holds up the finished duck diaper harness with pride. It’s a complex thing. There’s a pocket shaped like a cup, where a strip of disposable baby diaper will slot into. It’s attached to such a complicated network of intersecting straps, I can’t imagine how they’ll fit on the duck.

  “Definitely a genius.” The words leave my mouth without a second thought. Pepper won’t stop hounding me until I say it. Right now, I have better things to worry about than stroking her ego.

  Like, for example, this photo of an organizational chart entitled “Drug Trade in Pignatelli.”

  “Ha!” Pepper smirks. She then spreads the harness straps on her lap. “Okay, let’s try this out. Can you hand me Lawin?”

  “I don’t get it. Why does Ate Nadine have to interview Dad’s old doctor?” I tear my eyes away from Pepper’s phone and meet hers. “There are so many doctors Ate can interview. And I’m sure they’re nicer than this man.”

  “You’ve asked me that same question all morning. My answer hasn’t changed—I don’t know. Maybe your sister likes talking to grouchy people. That’s very likely, actually. If you’re not going to help me out, just paint or something. You’ve been doing nothing but staring at those photos. They’re not going to miraculously tell us why your sister hates your papa.” Pepper sighs aloud, taking Lawin from the lidless plastic box herself. “Ugh. This duck is so heavy.”

  “But my gut tells me it’s all connected!”

  “Your gut is wrong. Ate Nadine is investigating illegal activity on her campus. It’s got nothing to do with your papa. They are two different things, Sab. We need to focus on our mission to reconcile them, not butt in on Ate Nadine’s boring assignment. Your birthday is this Su
nday, and we just don’t have the time to do both.” Pepper puts on Lawin’s harness, her hands flying across clamps and straps like an expert. “Tah-dah!”

  “Wow.” It’s amazing, really, how she did this. Pepper simply downloaded photos of ducks in diapers, studied how they worked, and somehow managed to design one of her own. But it’s not enough to distract me from my worries. “My gut has never been wrong.”

  “It was very wrong yesterday. Remember how you thought Jepoy was out to get us?” Pepper snorts. “Turns out, he’s just a friend of your sister’s, helping her with the article.”

  “Well, I was right about him watching us,” I insist, pouting.

  “Yeah. But without bad intentions. It’s not the same thing, Sab.”

  “It is—”

  CRINGGG!

  “That’s probably your mama calling.” Pepper jerks her thumb to the direction of the study. “Why don’t you ask her about this doctor-in-the-purple-center thing, if you’re so bothered?”

  I roll my eyes as I get off the couch. Pepper just doesn’t get it. If Mom and I were Americans, I probably would have been able to initiate a conversation like that easily. But we’re not. Respect is a huge thing in our culture. I can’t just go demanding answers from my elders.

  The phone emits another ring. Before I can even open the door to Mom’s office, Ate Nadine comes thundering down the stairs. “I’ll get it!”

  My sister hurries past me and pushes the door closed. But it doesn’t slam shut, staying ajar with enough space to hear what Ate Nadine is saying.

  “I thought you said eavesdropping is wrong,” Pepper whispers.

  I shrug away from her, peering inside the room. Ate Nadine is sitting in Mom’s office chair, hidden behind the computer monitor. “Go back to the living room and just wait for me there if this bothers you so much.”

  Pepper holds up her hands and laughs quietly. “Chill. I’m totally for it.”

  “Thanks for calling again, Ninong. I can hear you so much better now. My cell phone service really has a bad connection around here,” Ate Nadine says to the person on the line. Ninong? I haven’t met any of my sister’s godfathers. Maybe I did, but I was too young to remember. I wonder which ninong this is.