Losing an Edge

by Catherine Gayle

  Still, Cadence’s concussion had turned out to be great for me on one score—it got me out of the Light the Lamp Foundation’s annual fundraiser that had been moved back to St. Patrick’s Day, due to Noelle Kallan’s and Jessica Lynch’s pregnancies. Most of the rest of the guys were being forced to dress up as leprechauns and carry around pots of gold, but I got to spend the night at home on my couch, making out with my girlfriend in between bouts of equally silly and serious discussion.

  “Do you want to have kids?” Cadence asked me, staring up into my eyes. Hers had taken on that deep, mossy green tint again.

  I quirked up a grin. “With you?”

  She punched my shoulder. “I mean in general. Do you see kids in your future?”

  “I don’t know. Not any time soon.” Then I remembered the day the previous weekend when Sara had brought Connor and Cassidy over, and Connor had proceeded to empty every cabinet in my kitchen. “I don’t suppose there’s any way to control what sort of personality they’ll end up with, is there?”

  “We’ve already got one Connor in the family. No idea if that means we’re likely to end up with another just like him, or if the opposite is true.”

  “We?” I said. “In the family? You realize you’re the one saying these things, right?” Not that I minded. I kind of liked the thought that she wanted me to be part of the family. That she was thinking about kids with me in the picture was a definite bonus.

  “Hmm,” was all she said, and she cut me off from making any other points by kissing me. Her tongue glided along the seam of my lips, not that I needed much prodding to open for her.

  When we broke apart a bit later, she asked, “What about Jamie and Katie? Do you think they want kids?”

  “Want them? Yeah. Very much so. They’ve been trying to get pregnant, but I kind of doubt if it’ll happen.”

  “Because of the chemo and all?”

  “The doctors tell her it isn’t likely,” I said.

  “So will they adopt if they can’t do it on their own?”

  “No idea.” We’d talked about them trying to get pregnant, but this wasn’t a subject I felt comfortable broaching with him. Maybe he would bring it up with me, when he was ready to talk about it again.

  Cadence fell silent for a minute. She leaned back against me and we watched some of the pranks the guys were pulling on each other on the newest episode of Impractical Jokers. In no time, we were both laughing so hard she could barely breathe, and I definitely snorted a time or two.

  “How’d you find this show?” she asked me when it went to commercial break.

  “Koz. He thinks it’s the best thing ever. He even tried to convince me to start up our own version of it—not for TV, just for fun.”

  “But you didn’t want to?”

  I shook my head. “Koz’s idea of fun things to do to me would equal torture. No doubt about it. He doesn’t recognize when he takes things too far. Social cues don’t click for him.”

  “Yet you’re still friends with him…”

  I shrugged. “I understand him. I mean, he’s not good in social situations. He doesn’t realize how he comes across. But he’s a good guy underneath it all. A jackass, sure. But he’s a good guy.”

  “Seems to be a common thread between you two.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She tipped her chin up to look at me. “You don’t see yourself the way the rest of the world sees you. He doesn’t understand how he presents himself. I get it. That’s all.”

  “You don’t mind that I’m friends with him, do you? I swear, I won’t let him pull something with you.” Not that it was easy. I was constantly reminding the guy that he was behaving like a jerk, and that he couldn’t say certain things to people because it was rude. He just had no clue.

  Cadence shook her head. “I think I love you more because of it. The same as I love you more because of how you are with Sophie. You see the good in people, even when no one else can. I only wish you could see it in yourself more often.”

  “I do, though.”

  “Do you?” She looked skeptical.

  “I’m starting to, at least. You’ve helped with that. And Hammer. He’s constantly reminding me that I’m doing exactly what I should be, but I need to believe in myself more. It’s sinking in, a bit at a time.”

  She kissed me again. This time, we both lingered over it, not wanting to separate at all.

  After a few minutes, we settled back against the couch and returned our attention to the show on TV. At the next commercial break, though, I knew it was time.

  I picked up the remote and muted it.

  “What?” she asked.

  “You never picked your card for the day.”

  “Oh.” She smiled all the way up to her eyes.

  I got up to collect her box, then brought it back to her. “It was running a little low. I restocked it earlier, so you might want to look through all of them before making your choice.”

  “But I already know what I want,” she said.

  “Just look through them.” I handed her the box and headed into the kitchen to kill a few minutes. This wouldn’t work if she didn’t pick through the cards and read all of the new ones. Once I thought enough time had passed, I slipped into the hall to retrieve the ring from my coat pocket.

  Sure enough, when I returned to the living room, she’d dropped the entire box, and the cards had spread all across the floor. She had one in her hands and was staring at me with tears in her eyes.

  Cadence turned the card around for me to read, not that I needed to see it to know what it said. Her mouth kept opening and closing.

  “So will you?” I asked after what felt like an eternity had passed. My heart was in my throat, and I felt like I was being poked with a thousand thumbtacks in all my most sensitive places, because the wait was killing me. I opened the ring box and held it out for her.

  She looked through her tears, letting one fingertip trace the stone. Then she looked up at me again. “I can’t give you an answer yet. I need to talk to Sophie first.”

  “What?” That answer felt like a punch to the gut. Had I read the signs wrong? Maybe Cadence didn’t want to marry me. I could be right back to being the guy who always fucked everything up, just like that. “But Sophie already told you she’s okay with us,” I said.

  “She did. I can’t explain it yet. It’s only— I need to talk to Sophie first, and I need you to be okay with that. Paige is bringing her to your game tomorrow night. And I think I’ve recovered enough I can handle being at the arena through a game.”

  I thought I might puke up the contents of my stomach at any moment, but I agreed. After all, at least she hadn’t said no. That had to be a good sign. Didn’t it?

  EVEN THOUGH I’D texted Paige this afternoon to be sure she was still planning to bring all of the girls to the game tonight, I spent about the first twenty minutes after arriving at the arena up in the owner’s box, anxiously chewing my fingernails. Then some of the other wives and girlfriends started showing up. Several of them had been trying to distract me and calm me down, but it was no use.

  “You’re going to say yes, aren’t you?” Katie asked, settling into the chair next to me and giving me a kind but hopeful smile.

  Dani brought over a few bottles of water and joined us. She had just come home for spring break, and there wasn’t a chance she’d pass up an opportunity to sneak another kiss with Harry. Or whatever she was planning for tonight. Who knew what it might be?

  She screwed off the lid of her water and took a sip. “You’re not supposed to be making any important life decisions for a while, you know. They told you that in the hospital. Not until you’re relatively concussion-free or something.”

  Katie rolled her eyes. “She was already living with him before the concussion.” Then she turned to me. “I mean, I’m not saying it isn’t a big decision. Just that you’d already made part of it well before all of this.”

  “I want to say yes,” I said, hoping it would
be enough for them to stop hounding me. “I need to talk to Sophie first.”

  A happy softness came into Katie’s eyes. “You know she adores you, right? She’s going to be fine with this, so stop messing up your manicure.”

  “Too late for that,” Dani said, giving my hands a once-over.

  “They’re here.” I bounded out of my seat and caught Paige’s eye as she ushered her girls inside.

  “Go do your thing so we can enjoy the game,” Katie said, shooing me away.

  As it was, the guys had already finished their warm-up, and they’d be back for the national anthem and other pregame stuff any time now. I knew I’d lose all of Sophie’s attention once they skated out—she’d be too focused on Levi to pay me any mind—so I needed to get this done.

  I crossed over to the girls, and Sophie flung herself into my arms.

  “Are you all better now?” she demanded, squeezing so hard it was difficult to breathe. “Mom said you were coming tonight, but I didn’t believe her.”

  “Not all better, but I’m getting there.” I hugged her back. “Listen, I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute before the game.”

  “Okay.” She smiled and put her hand in mine.

  I led her to a quiet corner, completely aware that two of her older sisters were discreetly following a few steps behind. They found somewhere to sit not far from the two of us, and both of them no doubt had their ears trained on me.

  I could appreciate that. Being the baby in my family, I’d spent years with Cam and my sisters constantly hovering to be sure I was all right. Sophie certainly needed it more than I did. Still, I had no intention of hurting her, and I hoped they knew that.

  “Sophie Bug,” I said, sitting across from her. She grinned from ear to ear when I called her that. I only hoped she was still smiling when we were done talking. “There’s something I need to ask you.”

  “Shoot,” she said.

  “Well, you know I love Levi, right?”

  “Yep. We both love him.”

  “We do. We absolutely do.” This was becoming far more difficult than I’d hoped.

  “We’re his best girlfriends. But you’re the one who does all the yucky kissing stuff.”

  I laughed out loud. “I am, that’s true.”

  “Zoe kissed her new boyfriend. I saw her last week. He put his tongue in her mouth. It was gross!” Sophie used her hands to emphasize exactly how gross she thought it was, which kept me in stitches.

  “So no kissing for you,” I said. “At least not any time soon.”

  “Nope. No kisses. Yucko.”

  Zoe snickered behind me, but Sophie seemed oblivious to it.

  “So here’s the deal,” I said, trying to bring the conversation around. “I wanted to know how you’d feel about it if I married Levi.”

  “You’re gonna marry Levi?” she said so loudly that half the heads in the room turned to stare at us. Then she stood up. “Mom! Cadence is gonna marry Levi! We get to go to the wedding.”

  “I guess that means you’re all right with it?” I said, laughing as she threw herself into my arms again.

  “We can come to the wedding, right? ’Cause I just told Mom we could.” Then she let go of me and pulled back enough that she could look in my face. She dropped her voice low. “Zoe told me that when you get married, there’s lots of kissing. I don’t wanna kiss Levi. I just want to love him. You can do all the kissing.”

  “Well, in that case”—I pinched her nose until she giggled—“I guess we’d better go ask your Mom if you can be my junior bridesmaid. If you want to be, of course.”

  “Mom!” she shouted again. “I’m gonna be a bridesmaid.”

  I supposed that settled that. Now all I had to do was tell Levi, and convince Sophie to bite her tongue about it long enough for me to be the one to tell him. Sophie and secrets were a complicated equation, but I had a feeling she would do her best.

  BY THE TIME the guys made it upstairs after the game, my head was definitely pounding. I probably shouldn’t have come to the game tonight. Watching it on TV at home would have been much more sensible. Still, I was glad I’d come, since it had given me the opportunity to speak with Sophie face-to-face.

  It didn’t matter how glad I was of it, though. The second Levi walked in and saw my face, he said, “You look miserable.”

  “Thanks,” I said, trying to laugh it off. “Here I was, about to tell you that you look good enough to eat, and you tell me I look miserable. Really gives a girl a jolt of self-confidence.”

  He reached for my hand to help me up. Then I thought he was going to draw me in for a hug or a kiss, but instead he lifted me into his arms. “I’ll take you home and make it up to you,” he said softly in my ear.

  “Is that a promise?”

  “Mm hmm. Now let’s get you out of all the noise, okay?”

  I didn’t complain. Not even when he carried me over to Sophie and Paige to collect a hug from his other best girlfriend, and then proceeded to carry me out of the owner’s box, through the corridors, down the elevator, into the parking garage, and all the way to his car.

  He opened the door and set me in the passenger seat, pecking me on the nose before closing the door behind me.

  I pouted when he climbed in on his side.

  “What’s the pout for?”

  “Don’t I deserve a better kiss than that?”

  “I don’t know.” He started the car and backed out of his space. “Have you done anything to deserve a better kiss?”

  I shrugged and nibbled on my lower lip, doing my best to look innocent. “Well… I had my talk with Sophie tonight.”

  He gave me a questioning look. “And?”

  I fiddled with the zipper on my purse, drawing out my response as long as I could. “And she’s agreed that I should be the one who does all the yucky kissing stuff with you, and she knows that when you get married you do lots of yucky kissing stuff, so she’ll be my junior bridesmaid at our wedding as long as she gets to love you still.”

  About halfway through my answer, Levi slammed on the brakes in the middle of the parking garage to turn and stare at me. Now his jaw was hanging slack, but his dimple was out alongside a huge grin.

  “So what are you saying?” he asked.

  “I guess I’m saying yes, I’ll marry you. Is that worth a better kiss?”

  In answer, he leaned over, cupping a hand behind my head and drawing me in to kiss me senseless. With the way he was kissing me, if we hadn’t been in a car in the middle of the Moda Center’s parking garage, I might have straddled him and insisted he make love to me right then and there.

  Good thing someone behind us laid on their horn, shocking us back to our senses.

  Barely in time, too. Levi slammed his foot back down on the brake right before he hit a car that was parked along the wall. “Shit! I lifted my foot, I guess.”

  My heart was about to pound through my chest, both from the exhilaration of telling the man I loved with all my heart that I would be his wife and from the adrenaline of nearly crashing into a parked vehicle.

  Levi put both hands on the steering wheel and took a couple of deep breaths. The car behind us—the one whose driver had honked—pulled around to pass us. Levi rolled down his window and waved in thanks.

  It turned out to be Koz, who rolled down his window and flipped us the bird. “Get a room, fuck face,” he shouted before zooming off ahead of us.

  “I think that’s an excellent idea,” Levi said. He rolled up his window again and drove us back to his apartment as fast as he could without breaking too many laws.

  We were barely inside before he had me pinned against the wall, kissing me with an intensity that cleared my headache and melted any resistance I might have otherwise felt. It had been a long time since we’d had good, frantic sex—ever since my trip to the hospital, Levi had been treating me as carefully as ever—but I was ready for it. I wanted him any way I could have him right now. Maybe even on the kitchen counter again. I was due for
a new sex injury or two.

  I started ripping at my clothes, but he put his hands on mine, stilling me.

  “What?” I said, searching his eyes.

  “My turn to ask for what I want.”

  The way he said it, staring at me with such heat and desire turning his baby blues to the same color as the midnight sky, left me shaking with the need to do whatever he wanted from me.

  “Okay,” I said, my voice quivering. “What do you want?”

  “You.” He twirled a strand of my hair around his fingers. “Naked. In my bed. Letting me make slow, sweet love to you and watching you come again and again.”

  I would have had to be out of my mind to argue with that suggestion.

  Needless to say, I didn’t.

  Later, still spooning, with Levi’s arm draped heavily around my waist, I twisted around in his arms until I could tease the few bits of hair on his chest. He kissed me, as slowly and languorously as he’d made love to me, and I fell a little deeper in love with him.

  “I forgot something,” he said, rolling away from me.

  I instantly felt the loss of him—his heat, his strength.

  He rolled back almost immediately, with the ring box in his hand. “You ready to put this on?”

  I grinned and took the ring out. Even in the moonlight coming in through the window, the diamond glinted. “It’s beautiful,” I said, sliding it onto my finger. Then I kissed him again, coming around to fully face him.

  He wrapped both arms around me, drawing me deeper into his embrace. “Mischief managed?”

  “And then some.”

  “EVERYONE SETTLE DOWN for a few more minutes,” Bergy said at what we’d all assumed was the end of our meeting. We’d had an optional skate today, as it was getting close to the end of the season, and we were still really banged up. At this point, rest was easily ten times more important than practice. Still, we’d just had a long film session, and most of us were restless to get away from the team facilities and enjoy the rest of the day off.