by Blue Saffire
“Yeah, I almost lost it for a moment, but I pulled it back together.” I won’t tell him that Sienna is the reason I pulled my shit together so fast.
“Oh, and that letter from your therapist was perfect. You did well. Soon the judge will sign off on those divorce papers and you’ll be free to go. I told you offering up the house and boat would be good for us. It made you look accommodating and keeps the courts from digging too deep. As you well know, we don’t want that.”
I definitely know what he means. “I’m all for that.”
Michael turns and walks to his Lexus. He unlocks the door then turns back to me. “Keep your nose clean and don’t do anything that can draw negative attention, all right?”
“I got you man.” I wave at Michael before climbing in my Charger.
Right away I use my steering wheel to call Sienna.
“How did it go? Are you done?” I smile at how concerned she is about me.
“Relax, babe. It went fine.”
She pauses and I realize I just called her babe. I should play it off. Maybe explain it away, but the more silence that lingers between us, the less I want to take the word back.
“I’m... um… glad it went well,” she says after a while.
“I have you to thank for that.”
“I’m just doing my job.”
“Naw, it’s more than that. You go above and beyond, even the letter you sent was incredible.”
“It was the truth.”
Damn this woman has me wide open. Just her absolute faith and belief in me makes me want to be better. “How about we celebrate this small victory.”
“Celebrate? That’s not a good idea.”
“You said we can’t be seen in public on a date.”
“Which is what you’re suggesting.”
“No, I’m suggesting you coming over for a celebratory dinner at my house. It will be in the privacy of my home and you don’t have to worry about anyone seeing us.”
“Dean,” she says in a warning tone, but I’m not letting her back out of this one, call me selfish, but I want Sienna. It’s just as simple as that.
The happiness and light she has brought into my life, I can’t give it up. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this good about anything and I’m wise enough to know you don’t let that feeling go easily. It doesn’t matter to me that I don’t deserve her, or that I’m legally still married.
“You can bring Maddox if it will make you feel better. That way, if it so happens that prying eyes were to find themselves in my living room, you can always say we were just hanging out with your son talking baseball.”
I’m reaching, but I want her to say yes. Hell, I need her to say yes. Her silence greets me, and I know she’s considering it.
“Just as friends, right?”
Fuck no.
But I won’t tell her that. Right now, she needs to think this is all platonic. I don’t blame her for trying to keep it professional. Like I said, I’m still married. I’ll just wait until I have her right where I want her, before ripping those blinders off.
“Yes, just as friends.”
“All right. What time should we come over?”
“Six o’clock. And don’t bring anything.”
She laughs on the other end of the phone. I never knew someone else’s laugh could feel so fucking good. Just hearing her laugh makes me happy.
“Yeah, if you say so. Bye, Dean.”
“Bye, Sienna.”
I’m feeling like a king when I click the phone off on my steering wheel. Mediation went well, I’ll get to keep my car, and my private investments are still private. Most importantly, Sienna is coming over tonight.
Sienna
My cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Even though I know I’m playing with fire by going over to Dean’s house, I still can’t talk myself out of it.
“Hey, Sienna.” I look up from my desk to find Chris Chambers at my door.
My job doesn’t have a non-fraternizing policy. The owners of the private non-profit practice are husband and wife. I, under poor judgment, went on a date with Chris a while ago. It was horrendous.
He believes that despite his many character flaws, he’s God’s gift to women. He is attractive. I won’t deny that, but his attitude makes him a troll.
Unfortunately, he enjoyed our date. It doesn’t surprise me because he was too focused on himself to realize I was miserable. He’s been trying to get me to go back out with him ever since.
“Hello, Chris.”
“I heard you’re releasing that Anderson guy.”
I give him one of my practiced smiles. One that I’ve mastered while dealing with him. “You know I can’t talk about my clients with you.”
He smiles and steps further into my office, closing the door behind him. For a moment, I’m a little paranoid being in a closed space with him. It’s not that he’s ever done anything to hurt me, it’s just a bad vibe I get from him sometimes.
“Between you and me, that guy’s an asshole. I ran into him at that hardware store and he was a complete prick. I even heard he wasn’t that damn good at baseball and that’s why they cut him.”
I don’t even worry about correcting him. I won’t deny that Dean was rude to him at his dad’s hardware store. Hell, I’m not even dealing with anger issues and I want to cuss his ass out most days. However, no one can take away from the fact that Dean Anderson could play the hell out of baseball. Just hearing Chris talk down on Dean’s skills pisses me off.
“Is there a reason you came into my office?” I don’t try to hide the annoyance in my voice.
I want him to know that he has pissed me off and is unwelcome. But, in true Chris fashion, he doesn’t get the memo. He sits down in the chair across from my desk and places one foot over his knee. That cocky smile spreads across his face.
“Have you thought about my offer?”
Ugh! Not this again.
He’s dead set on us going out again. Not just a date, but he wants a relationship. And despite the many times I’ve nicely told him I’m not ready for anything serious, he keeps asking.
“I thought we discussed this. I’m focusing on Maddox right now.”
“Oh, come on, Sienna. That kid is fifteen.”
“He’s nine.”
“Same thing. He doesn’t need his mother all over him. Now, I’m just going to be honest,” he says holding up his hands. “You’re almost thirty and you’re a single mom. I’m an attractive, educated, financially stable man with no kids. I have women blowing up my phone to get a second date with me and you’re asking me to wait on you.”
See what I mean? Asshole.
“I’m not asking you to wait. I’m telling you I’m not dating. Period.”
He stares at me a second longer before getting to his feet. He walks to the door, but pauses before opening it. “This game is only cute for so long. Eventually, you’re going to lose my interest.”
He walks out of the door leaving it slightly ajar. I huff in relief at being alone. I don’t know what more I can say to him to get him to see that I’m not interested. Even though Chris’s appearance has dampened my mood, I’m still excited about spending time with Dean tonight.
Chapter 6
Home Visit
Sienna
“I bet he has a bunch of trophies.” Maddox says from the back seat and pauses. “Do you think he will let me see them?”
I’m only half listening, too busy checking my rearview mirror to make sure I’m not being followed or that I don’t see anyone from my job watching me. I know this is stupid, even if I did pass someone from my job, they would have no idea where I’m going. Plus, if I’m this paranoid, I should’ve called Dean at some point today and canceled. Yet here I am, with my son, driving to his house.
Once again that inner voice is shouting. “What the hell are you doing?” This is what happens when you’re sexually deprived and you aren’t thinking straight. Well, and when it’s Dean Anderson.
“Mom
, are you listening to me?”
“Yes, Maddox. And I don’t know if he will have trophies.”
“He has to have trophies. He has…”
I block out my sons’ ramblings of Dean’s baseball stats. I focus on the announcement from my GPS. “You have arrived at your destination,” the computerized female voice says.
I pull into the driveway of the large brick home. This house is beautiful. If I were Dean, I would’ve fought Trisha for this brick beauty.
Just as promised, the garage door is open, and I pull in right beside a car covered in a black cloth. I’m assuming it’s the blue sports car he mentioned. As soon as I turn my car off, he is at the entrance leading into his house, letting the garage door down. He quickly comes to my car door to help me out.
“I’m glad you came,” he greets me with that panty melting smile.
“Mr. Dean, do... do you have trophies?” My son asks as he climbs out of the back seat of my car.
“Of course, I have trophies. You want to see them?”
Maddox’s eyes widen as he grins from ear to ear. “Yes, please.”
Dean reaches down and entwines his fingers into mine tugging me toward him and out of the way as he shuts my car door.
“Come on in. I’ll show you where they are.”
I want to move my hand. I want to slip it out of his and back down at my side, but the butterflies in my stomach won’t allow me to move it. Not even a little.
He leads us into the house as he tells Maddox all about the trophies he has. The moment we walk inside, I’m bombarded by the clutter. Oh my god. It even catches Maddox off guard because he stops in the middle of the floor.
“What’s going on?”
Dean stops and looks around, his silver gaze bouncing over the boxes in corners along with clothing and furniture.
“Oh, I’m putting the house on the market next week. Realtor wants me to clear most of my stuff out. She says it shows the house better if my junk isn’t in the way.”
“But,” my inquisitive nine-year-old says while peeking in a box. “There’s nothing in the boxes.”
With a laugh, he uses his free hand to rub behind his head. He has yet to let my hand go. “Yeah, I’ve kind of been putting it off, but I have a plan. I’ll just toss everything in a box before next week. I have time.”
“Mr. Dean, that… doesn’t sound like a good plan.”
I have to cover my mouth to keep from laughing. Maddox is right, that isn’t a good plan at all.
“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but this place is a mess.”
He looks a bit embarrassed, but smiles anyway. “I’ll admit. The moving has gotten out of hand. I was never good with stuff like this. Trisha always handled it.” He shrugs one shoulder and looks away.
“Well,” I say sliding my hand from his. I don’t acknowledge how the loss of his touch bothers me. “Thankfully, you have us.”
“Wait, you’re offering to help?”
“Yes.”
“No,” he shakes his head. “That isn’t why I asked you to come over.”
“I know, but this is part of the celebration. Packing up your house is a great way to close out the day. Besides.” I stop and look around at the cluttered mess stacked against the wall. “You need help.”
“Yeah, you do,” Maddox agrees.
“Fine, but only for an hour,” he relents with a smile. “You guys want to eat first or after.”
“First,” Maddox says.
It takes over three hours to get Dean’s house in order. It wasn’t as unorganized as I had first believed. I sent Dean and Maddox off together to break down some of the bigger furniture he plans to put in storage. I spent most of my time boxing up things.
The sound of footsteps entering the room carries to me as I’m putting the tape on the last box labeled Trisha.
“Dang girl, you move fast.” Dean chuckles coming up behind me.
I turn to face him, placing the roll of tape down on the coffee table. “I’m an organizing pro,” I tease. “Where’s Maddox?”
He gives a laugh. “My little partner is out like a light. I knew he was sleepy when he stopped following me.”
I snicker. My baby is enamored by Dean. “I hope he wasn’t too bothersome.”
“Are you kidding? He made the night go by fast. He’s a good kid.”
I don’t know why that makes me so happy. I know he’s a good kid. He’s very quiet and reserved and often times doesn’t open up to new people. His condition sometimes makes him angry and volatile, but he’s kind and giving. I guess just having another man think he is good enough, makes the way his father has treated him lately not sting as much.
“I guess we should be getting out of your way.”
I start to walk past him, but he grabs my hand to stop me. Once again, he doesn’t let it go. “Stay a little longer, please.”
Any logical reply I have dies on my lips the moment he says please. Despite it being a school night and both of us needing to get up in the morning, I find myself nodding my head in submission.
With my hand still in his, he takes me into the living room and sits me down on the love seat. On the big couch, fast asleep under a blanket, is Maddox.
He sits right beside me. We both turn to face each other. I wait for him to let go of my hand. When his thumb starts to make circles on the back of my hand, my mind is forced to other areas of my body.
“So, tell me about yourself.”
“There isn’t much to tell,” I reply.
He cocks his head to the side, those damn eyes causing me to blush. “Come on, there has to be more to you than what I know.”
“What do you know?”
“That’s it. I don’t know anything. I know you’re a preacher’s kid, and you love romance novels. You have an amazing son, and a talent for home organization,” he says the last part with a laugh as he glances around his now very tidy house.
“Well, that’s about it. I’m not that interesting.”
His brow quirks up. He isn’t buying it.
“I feel like you know everything about me, even the things I wish you didn’t.” He shakes his head at that last part. “There’s something about the way you look at me. I don’t know, it seems like you’ve known me for forever.”
I look away from him. I can’t tell him that he’s right. Well, maybe not exactly forever, but I’ve known him longer than he thinks. If I tell him now it would just be awkward, he would probably feel betrayed and maybe even a little freaked out. Plus, I’m sure if Dean remembers me from high school, things like holding my hand, and asking me to come over for pizza would all end.
“What do you want to know?” This gets a genuine smile from him.
“Tell me something others wouldn’t know about you.”
I think this over for a minute before replying. “I actually wanted to be a writer growing up.”
“Really?”
“Yes, I had these notebooks. I kept them in the floorboards of my bedroom when I was a kid. I used to write stories with princesses and witches that looked more like me. I’ve always loved to read, but I seldom found books with little black heroines. And if we were in a book, we were the one liner best friend, or stuck in some inner-city hell. I wanted to read stories about beautiful damsels finding love, or the quiet shy girl falling for the hybrid alien.”
“So why didn’t you become a writer?”
I love how interested he is in my story. He’s fully focused on me and even his stroking of my hand has slowed down. He’s truly invested in my story.
“Reality set in.” I shrug. “The chances of having a career as a writer were slim. I enjoyed my creative writing classes, but my parents wanted me to major in something with a little more stability. Then I had Maddox my sophomore year, and I had to make money.”
“Do you still write?”
“No.”
I do. I write all the time. I still have all those first notebooks and have added even more over the years, but
I’m not going to admit to that.
He cocks his head to the side. “I don’t believe that. You still do it.”
I laugh to cover up my shock. “And what makes you so sure?”
“Because writing is your passion.” The smile falls away from my face at the accuracy of his prediction. “This therapist thing is your job. You’re good at it, but writing comes from here.” He places his free hand over my heart briefly. “I can tell by the way your eyes light up when you talk about it. I know passion, I used to have that same look when I talked about baseball.”
“And you don’t have it now?”
He shakes his head with a smile. “Oh no, this isn’t my time. My days are Mondays and Thursdays. Tonight, you’re in my office. And I won’t even charge you the arm and leg you charge me.”
I burst out laughing, but then cover my mouth so that I don’t wake Maddox.
“It’s not that expensive,” I tease.
He laughs. “Tell that to my bank account.” That gets another laugh from me. He continues to watch me closely. “I swear I know you from somewhere.”
His words cut into my laughter, and I look away, hoping to hide the guilt. Everything is telling me that hiding the fact that I know him will come back to bite me in the ass. All my years of training in this field warn me against secrets in relationships, but I still can’t make myself admit to it. I’d rather have this little time with Dean, even if it’s temporary.
“Maybe I just have one of those faces, you know? That average look that blends in.”
“Trust me, there’s nothing average about you.”
I blush at his sincere words. They erupt in my belly and cause those annoying butterflies to flutter. The way he looks at me with those tempting eyes, that smile, even the way he smells has me wanting to straddle him on this couch. The fact that he still has yet to let my hand go is also wreaking havoc on my hormones.
If I don’t get out of this house soon, I’m going to do something stupid, like kiss him.
“I should go. It’s getting late.” I stand, trying to place space between his sexy body heat and my sex-deprived body.