by J. A. Hunter
I ran my hand through his, feeling the chill run through my body. I watched as his fingers slid through mine playfully.
"It's always so cold." I commented.
"I can fix that."
He continued running his hand through mine as I felt the temperature rising. The cold was soon replaced with gentle warmth. It reminded me of the sun's rays beating down on my skin. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again we were no longer in my room.
Waves crashed against the rocks as my toes dug into the sandy beach. The bright sun radiated heat on my skin.
"What happened?"
"It's a little trick Paul taught me last night." He smiled brightly. His lips filled with rose as his blue eyes peered into mine.
"It feels so real." I commented as I reached down- taking a handful of sand.
"In your mind it is, in reality we are still in your room."
I quickly reached for him, testing how real the vision was. As my hand passed through him again I frowned in disappointment. I knew it was too good to be true.
"I Guess I still can only touch you in my dreams." I sighed.
"Me and Paul are working on that too." He reassured me.
"So you were at the house last night?" I tried asking innocently but I knew he felt my jealousy.
"Don't worry, Sarah wasn't there." He smirked.
We sat on the shore, overlooking the busy waves of the ocean. My mind drifted to the last time I was on a beach. Nina was so happy searching the sand for seashells and kicking the waves as they came in. My parents watched us adoringly as we entered the water and began swimming.
We were such a happy family- life seemed perfect. We never imagined the possibility of tragedy coming anywhere near us. You hear stories on the news of families losing their homes, children, or a parent, but you never think it would happen to you.
In a way that day brought us closer. It taught us to appreciate everything we had and slow down life- to enjoy every moment. It saddened me how it took losing someone so young and full of life to make us see it.
"You're thinking about her aren't you?" He felt.
"Yes." My eyes continued to scan the sand as my toes dug in.
"I wasn't thinking. I should have taken you to the mountains or something."
"No, it's ok. I used to get sad when I thought of her, but now her memory just reminds me of how short our time is. I loved her, even when she got on my nerves, but I know she is in a better place." I smiled.
"Let's go back to your room." He suggested.
The beach faded away, along with the gritty feel of sand between my toes and I was back in my room. The clock read 1 A.M.
"How is it so late?" I jumped.
"I don't know. We don't really have a sense of time."
"Really?" That explained why I spent so much time waiting.
"Yeah. When I leave you and come back, it seems like moments even though hours had passed."
"Lucky you." I sarcastically laughed. "Is there a way I can call you? Maybe with a Ouija board?" I asked shyly.
I hated waiting around.
"No, you don't want to use that. You never know who will show up. Just will me to you, I'll feel it."
"You mean like wish for you?"
I was kind of insulted that I had to wish for my man to show up.
"No, just concentrate really hard on me appearing next to you. I'll feel the pull and come to you."
"Sounds like you have done that before. How many women are willing you to them?" I felt the jealousy returning.
"Only one- It's the beautiful little girl that lives next door." He laughed.
I had almost forgot about Katie and started to feel bad that I was taking her brother away from her. I made a plan to invite Katie for a walk with us.
"You better get to bed young lady, you have school tomorrow." He commanded. Sometimes he seemed more like a father than a boyfriend.
"I know."
"I love you." His soft voice sounded louder when the words reached my ears.
"What?" I asked unprepared.
"I love you Ally." He repeated.
My heart jumped excitedly as I felt my face flush. My skin was on fire and I could feel the sweat starting to trickle from every pore. I never gave a thought to him actually saying those words. I assumed ghosts couldn't love. Without a beating heart, it only made sense.
"Are you ok?" His smile disappeared as I paused.
"I love you too." I choked out.
The words felt so natural escaping my lips. I truly did love him.
"I know you do, I can feel it." He smiled mischievously. I was embarrassed that he felt my love first. It was like I said it first- in a way it ruined the moment.
"Have sweet dreams and I will see you after school."
"Yes you will." I was confident of it now that I knew how to call on him.
He faded away slowly and I fell to the bed. His soothing voice repeated the words in my head. My heart continued skipping beats and my breathing was shallow. I had never told anyone outside my family that I loved them. But I had never felt the way I felt when I was with him. To say he was my soul mate sounded cliché, but since he was just a soul, it was true.
Six
My smile didn't fade as I fell asleep. Even in the morning it was still there. It could have been the dream I had of me and Reed together, touching, kissing, and caressing one another. It was the first time I had such an intimate dream about him.
We were entangled in each other's arms, expressing our love. But it may have also been the sound of his confession of love the night before. I could have fallen asleep with the smile and held all night as my heart repeated his words in each beat.
Regardless of the reason, I was truly happy. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops, run up and down the streets screaming "ALLY AND REED FOREVER!" but I knew it was a secret I had to keep.
I left the bathroom and went to my closet. I took my time getting dressed and fixing my makeup. I had a new level of self-confidence that I wanted to show off.
I tried on 5 different outfits before settling on a shirt and skirt set. I left my sneakers in the closet and put on a pair of Mary Jane wedges. I put my hair in large curls and let the waves flow down my back. I dotted my lips with a soft pink lipstick before rubbing them together. A spritz of my favorite perfume finished me off and I finally looked the way I felt- utterly beautiful.
All my preparation made me later than usual. When I reached the kitchen my parents were already gone for work and Heather sat at the table waiting.
"There you are." She teased.
"Whoa, who are you dressing up for?" She noticed.
"For me." I lied. I did it for Reed. I wanted to look good enough to cause his dead heart to beat again and get rid of any thoughts of the dead girl he stayed with at night.
"Well you are definitely going to get attention at school today." She tried sounding vague, but we both knew she was talking about Cory.
Heather could always see through me as if I were the one that was a ghost. I could see by her expression that she suspected I was keeping a secret. I just didn't know if telling her would ever be a possibility.
"No Alex today?" I noticed his absence.
"Nope, he is taking the bus until he learns to keep his mouth shut about my driving." She flashed an evil smirk.
I didn't have time for coffee and I hated giving Heather a reason to drive faster than she already did. Her little convertible sped down the streets and hardly paused for the turns. I gripped the door for dear life as I felt the seatbelt locking up each time she slammed on the brakes.
All the work I did on my hair was almost undone by the time she shot into the school parking lot.
"That was exciting." I panted as I swallowed my heart into place.
"At least we are on time." She smiled proudly.
I quickly remembered why I didn't dress up often. The ogling from the male students kept my cheeks a bright red. The girls whispered to each other as I passed them in
the halls on the way to class. I couldn't make out what they were saying but I was almost certain I didn't want to know.
Even Mr. Marenco noticed my efforts as he flashed a flirtatious smile when I entered the class. If I had known it was all it took to get his attention the year before, I would have done it then. Now that I lost my childhood crush on him, I just found it amusing and laughed silently as I took my seat.
I spent the class in constant blush as Mr. Marenco read out love sonnets. He glanced at me as often as possibly, ironically during the tender most parts of the reading. He was cute and if I wasn't in a supernatural relationship I may have pursued it, regardless of the teacher/student cliché.
The bell rang I darted out as I noticed Mr. Marenco watching me walk away. Crush aside; he started to seem a bit perverted.
Heather met me at my locker so we could walk to drama together. Mrs. Schuler was going to announce the cast of the production and I was excited to see which part I ended up with.
After my breakdown I was sure I didn't get the lead. I would have been happy as an extra or even a still piece of furniture without a script. Maybe she would even make me a stagehand so I wouldn't be seen at all.
"Ready Ally?" Heather asked.
"Yep, let's go." I flung my backpack over my shoulder and took a quick look around to make sure Cory wasn't lurking.
"Ok everyone. I'm ready to announce the cast, so everyone gather on stage." Mrs. Schuler called out.
We all gathered in a semi-circle around Mrs. Schuler. I was less excited than most as I watched them all fidgeting and waiting for their names to be called.
I looked around the stage, wondering if I had the upper body strength to pull the different set design pieces around. I was surely going to have that job.
"Let's start with the part of the Persian. The role will be played by Sam Gardner." Everyone clapped.
"The role of Madame Giry will be played by Amanda Jensen." The clapping started and stopped.
I waited through the reading of the remaining extras and smaller parts. Being one for the dramatic, Mrs. Schuler saved the main characters for last.
"The part of Carlotta will be played by Heather Bronson." I clapped loudly but sat in shock, I was certain she would have gotten the lead.
"The role of Christine goes to Ally Dahl." The room ruptured with applause. My eyes shot open in surprise.
"Why me?" I quickly questioned.
"Your audition was filled with emotion and passion. There was never a doubt you were born for this role." Mrs. Schuler complimented.
"Congratulations Ally." Heather pulled me into a hug.
"Thank you." I mumbled, still jolted.
"And finally…the part of Erik will be played by Randy Halbert." Everyone clapped once more.
I was relieved to have Randy playing opposite me. I had known him since elementary school, and even though we weren't extremely close, I knew he wouldn't give me a hard time about the kissing scene. But I did need to warn Reed about it. I would hate to have a jealous ghost on my hands.
The remainder of the class were given stagehand jobs and appointed as understudies. Mrs. Schuler passed out the scripts and lyrics as the set and wardrobe designers plotted décor and costumes. I skimmed through my lines, still in disbelief.
The thought of singing in front of a large audience was a detail I overlooked when I auditioned. Visions of me choking in front of all those people rattled the papers as my hands shook.
The ringing school bell was definitely a welcomed sound.
"Out of sight, out of mind," I whispered as I slid the script into my backpack.
I told Alex about Heather getting the part of Carlotta before geometry started. I could see he was excited for her until I disclosed her plan to use him to practice her lines. His smile faded quickly and he slumped at his desk pouting.
I was distracted during class as the all the boys overtly glanced back at me. The one who made me the most uneasy was Cory. His stare was obvious and intense. I did my best not to look in his direction, but I could feel his eyes burning through me. I didn't even think of how he would have reacted to the "new" me. I wanted to just fade away from his sight.
As soon as the bell rang I darted to the door, trying to avoid the inevitable interaction with Cory. Unfortunately a group of students blocking my path held me up.
"Hi Ally." His voice cut like shards of glass.
"Hi Cory." I responded politely.
"You look really good today." He complimented to my chest.
I was sure deep down there was a nice guy in him, but I had never seen it.
"Thanks." I placated.
"I would love to take you out sometime."
"Sorry, I have a boyfriend." I sighed in relief. Maybe it would be enough to lose his interest.
"Who? I never see you with anyone." He challenged.
"He already graduated. He's older."
"Well, you will have to introduce me sometime. I would love to meet the man who captured Ally Dahl." His voice dropped low, it was almost maniacal.
"Maybe, one day." I sighed in discomfort.
"Come on Ally." Alex walked up and took my arm, rescuing me from Cory.
"Thank you." I whispered as we walked away.
"Would it really be that bad to go out with him?" Alex inquired.
"I don't know, but I have no interest in finding out."
"Well I think if you at least give him a chance, he might back off."
"That’s a good theory, but wrong." I laughed.
"You should have known he would be all over you when you dress like that."
"Is that your way of saying I look pretty?" I smiled.
"Don't tell Heather." He joked.
The walk to the parking lot was the same as when I entered school, glances and stares made me uncomfortable but at the same time I enjoyed the attention.
Heather drove me home and I stayed on the porch waiting for Reed. The words "I love you" echoed in his shallow tone. I couldn't fathom how he could. I wasn't anything special. He couldn't touch me. We didn't have a future. But Sarah- he had a future with her.
I took a deep breath and let my thoughts release. I knew it would only be seconds before he appeared and I was ready. I worked all morning to make myself comparable to Sarah, even though her beauty was natural. I just hoped he would notice.
"I heard Ally calling, but I don't see her anywhere, just this beautiful woman in front of me." Reed sarcastically joked as he walked up my driveway.
"You hate it." I frowned.
"Not at all. You look gorgeous." He smiled; reaching his hand out to my cheek. The cold settled under my skin and I shivered- I was starting to crave it.
"That was the plan." I smiled into his eyes. "What did you do today?" I asked.
"I was at the manor. Me and Paul were working on my concentration."
"Was Sarah there?" My stomach tightened.
"Yes, why?"
"Just a question." I frowned.
"You're not jealous are you?"
"A little."
"Why?"
"You know why."
"I want to hear you say it." He commanded.
"No. I don't want to."
"Just tell me." He smirked. He was starting to lose his cuteness.
"Because she can touch you…ok!?!" I felt my blood warming.
"I know. But you will too one day." He sounded so confident- but I wasn't. He glided to take the seat next to me.
I knew death was required to get what I wanted- either mine or some poor victim's. I couldn't possibly be that selfish.
"I can tell your getting impatient." He said.
"Aren't you?" I needed to know he felt the same way.
"There is nothing I want more in this life than to make you happy. I just can't give that to you now."
"I know. I would never ask you to do anything you don't want to."
"Then let's just enjoy being together for now."
"I'm trying to."
"I know I
can't offer you everything you need." He frowned.
"All I need is you."
"Are you sure you don't need more than I can offer you?"
"Of course I do, but unless you're the one giving it to me, it would be meaningless."
"We can go to the retirement home if you want." He sighed.
"NO!" I was appalled. "I would never forgive myself if you killed someone so I could have a hug." I added.
"I know, but right now it seems like our only option."
I was starting to doubt myself. I know how my heart feels, but to have so many feelings and be unable to physically express them was frustrating. I needed to find a way for us to be together- I was determined.
We spent the rest of the night talking. I felt like a fool, all dressed up. I didn't know what I expected to happen, he couldn't scoop me in his arms and take me. But I did love the look in his eyes and his smile when he looked at me. For now, that was worth it.
I couldn't help thinking about Sarah holding Reed's hand when head my fell to my pillow. A knot quickly tied my stomach and I started feeling nauseous. I knew, when he dissipated, he was with her. I felt like the other woman and it made me sick.
Before I could fall asleep I was interrupted by her soft voice.
"Hello Ally." Sarah's bright presence almost glowed in the dark.
I reached to my lamp and clicked it on. Stunned by her perfect beauty I felt like I was 5 years old wishing to be a big girl.