Elemental Compass (Supernatural Prison Book 7)

by Jaymin Eve

  "I only remember this life," he said, reaching out to place his hand on the tree before him. "And I know it’s a mixed ideology that we can reincarnate. My brothers don’t even believe in it, but I do. We did some regression sessions in our fey studies, and I am sure that I have lived at least two lifetimes before this one. In both, I was not fey, but something much more savage. The emotions that came from that realization. It was ... well, let's just say it was enough to ensure that I have worked hard in this life to be reasonable, rational, and the one to bring some lighthearted relief in darker times."

  Before I could stop myself, my hand was on his forearm, and I felt the vibration of the tree’s energy in that touch. It was literally streaming from his palm into his body.

  "Fighting against your true nature isn’t going to help you become the best version of yourself, Jake. You know that. If you're always at war inside, then that’s where you’ll stay. It took me a long time to accept myself as I am, abrasive edges and all, and while accepting my flaws wasn’t easy, I’ve had a lot more peace since I did."

  I'd tried to force myself to fit, cutting off pieces of my heart for years so I’d be pretty and likeable and sweet and happy. If I could be the perfect child, then someone would love me. If I could be the perfect woman, someone would cherish me.

  Perfect was bullshit.

  "You are perfect," Jacob said suddenly, and I jerked away.

  "I didn't say I wasn't," I whispered, rapidly blinking as I tried to process what had just happened.

  Jacob didn't let me get far away. "I heard you," he said, and there was no hesitation. "I've heard you ever since I half-shifted and you touched me."

  "Every fucking thought?" I screeched, trying to step back, but I was boxed in by too many trees and couldn't move.

  Jacob shook his head, and I had a small burst of relief. "Thank fuck. But obviously some of my thoughts."

  "Yep, every now and then a particularly strong one slaps me upside the head."

  "You misunderstood me," I murmured to him, accepting what he was saying. "I don't want to be perfect. It's not a compliment to say that to me. I rebel against the very notion."

  Jacob was so close now that I could practically taste him on my tongue, his heat and scent caressing every bare inch of my skin. "You misunderstand me, Justice Winter," he drawled back. "I didn't mean you were perfect in the 'supermodel airbrushed with no personality' way. You're thinking like a human. I meant that for me, you are perfect. I like your fire. Your abrasiveness. The snark and humor that you attack every day with. Even your taste in music and food is growing on me. All of that is what makes you unique and special, drawing me back time and time again.”

  I snorted. A particularly loud and rumbly snort. "You’re drawn back because of a pre-determined bond of fate. Nothing else."

  Jacob shook his head. "You're wrong. I wanted you when I hadn't even gotten close enough to feel your energy or know that your favorite flowering plants is lavender, and that your scent would be so intertwined with them because you make your own body cream from the wild flowers.” He stroked a hand across my skin and I gasped. “For a bond to be realized, we have to be close to each other, but I wanted you long before I got that close. Trust me. "

  "How?" I gasped. "How could you possibly know I make my own body cream?" I'd started when I figured out that human-made toiletries didn't react well with my skin. In my younger years I'd thought I just had sensitive skin, but now I recognized it was that human chemicals did not mesh with supes.

  His smile was slow, and when those perfect white teeth emerged, all I wanted to do was reach out and brush my fingers across those full lips, followed by my tongue, and … I was in so much trouble.

  "I've watched you since you first entered our world. I noticed a lot."

  I raised an eyebrow in his direction. "Okay, Creepy McCreepster."

  He didn't bother to deny it.

  "Where do you want to go from here?" I asked.

  He sucked in air, releasing it a moment later, and then repeated it a few times like he was calming his mind. "I don't really know," he admitted. "I'm still not sure it's safe for the world if I'm so out of control, but clearly, even if we’re not bonded completely, my instincts toward you are on overdrive."

  "I read that it could even be worse before the bond fully forms?"

  I was behind on this world, but I'd done as much research as I could to catch up.

  Jacob nodded. "Yes, especially for shifters. Our animalistic instinct goes haywire and it's harder to soothe our beasts. I'm pretty new at bonding with him anyway, so this double shot is really fucking with my control.”

  Right. Right. Here we went again, talking ourselves out of his bond.

  We had issues. Guess it was my turn now.

  "I'm still only half existing in this world,” I started, “and I'm not sure I could handle everything that comes with a partner for life. Reading about chosen mate bonds was scary enough, but true mate bonds. It’s a lot."

  Jacob's chest rumbled. "You think you'll get sick of me after a few years and want to date other people?"

  Fuck. Did I answer this truthfully or not?

  "Supes live ... what … almost a thousand years? Most humans can't even make fifty work in marriage. It just seems like a big commitment. What if we form the bond and then in twenty years you start banging your secretary?"

  Exasperation and amusement, who knew those two emotions would form the current expression I was staring at.

  "We’re not humans," he reminded me. "Our bond will only grow stronger with time … the need we have for each other becoming something tangible … so solid it will have its own energy."

  "Guess I still think like a human," I said softly, not sure I could even imagine that sort of bond. “And maybe that in itself is the problem.”

  He tilted his head, curious, and I was glad that he wasn’t hearing all my thoughts yet.

  “I think I need to return home and embrace my fey side. Until I do that, I can’t be an equal partner to you."

  I’d been thinking about it a lot. It was time to let go of my anger at the fact that I’d been “thrown away” by people who should love me. Sure, they’d done it to save my life, so I couldn’t really be mad at them, and yet I was. But it was time to stop.

  Jacob wanted to protest, flames leaping into his eyes. And honestly, part of me hoped he'd fight me on this, stop me from going back.

  I gave him the opening: "Unless you need me here for this negotiation with the president?"

  Please say yes. Despite my misgivings, the thought of not seeing Jacob every day after a month of being with him…

  Shit, would I even want to wake up in the morning without his heavy-handed banging on my door? How dependent was I already?

  And just like that, I hoped he told me to go.

  "It might be for the best," he said.

  What? That bastard was trying to get rid of me? How dare he?

  Someone needs a mental health check.

  Fuck you, inner voice. Fuck. You.

  "Yep. You're right," I said brusquely. "I'm going to head back right now. Can you say goodbye to everyone for me?"

  Jacob's eyes widened just a little, and I shoved past him to get out of the small alcove of trees. "Send me a message through Grace when this shit is sorted here," I told him, already regretting every vulnerable moment I'd shared with him.

  This shit was stupid. I couldn't handle dealing with emotions like this.

  Escaping was for the best.

  One day I’d stop running, but apparently today was not that day.

  13

  Jacob Compass

  I would never punch a tree. Trees did not deserve my anger and ire, my lack of control. But the raging fury that was bubbling inside of me had to go somewhere, and there was no time to get out of the forest to shift. The change was too close.

  That left me one option.

  My brothers.

  I called them through the bond, not to beat the shit out of
them—though each had deserved it at one point or another—but to hopefully share this fury between us.

  It was this or someone was going to get hurt.

  Braxton appeared first.

  Actually, Jessa was first, and despite the roar of her mate, she threw herself at me, wrapping her arms and legs around me to anchor me to the ground, like that would stop me from flying away.

  My bond with Braxton kicked to life. I felt him in my head and my energy.

  Hurt her and I will fucking kill you, he warned me.

  I didn't need the warning, I loved Jessa almost as much as he did—no one could love as much as a true mate, it was literally in their DNA.

  I would kill myself before I hurt her.

  "Jessa babe," I said from between gritted teeth. My jaw was starting to ache, but it was helping for some reason. "I need you to step away. I'm having some trouble controlling my power."

  Since the age of two, Jessa had been a pain in the ass, a loveable, cute as hell, pain in the ass. So, of course, she didn’t listen to me. If anything, her hold grew tighter as she threw glares at Braxton whenever he tried to get closer.

  "You're just not used to feeling the volatile powers," she told me, her face buried in the base of my neck like she used to do when we were younger and we'd sneak off needing a break from the angrier, stomp-around-like-assholes part of the Compass quads.

  Apparently I was now the stomping asshole.

  "I love you," she whispered, like she used to when I'd be upset with the world and not able to get those words out. If I were human, they would have probably diagnosed me with high functioning autism. I felt the emotions, I felt them so strongly at times, but they were locked inside of me, and I couldn't express them the same way that my brothers did. I thought it was a fey thing—they're naturally quite cold. But it was more than that.

  It had been my quad-race nature warring with itself.

  "Stop fighting it, brother," Maximus said. His energy had not joined our bond yet—only Braxton’s remained, slamming against mine—but he was close enough that I could feel his concern. "You can't win against yourself, not like this, so instead embrace the stronger emotions and learn how to manage them."

  I closed my eyes, letting the fire burn within me, without allowing my body to change. Jessa lifted her head. "Yes, I can feel your power. Fuck, you're strong."

  "I'm stronger," Braxton said, sounding almost annoyed, and I couldn't help the dark, strangled chuckle from escaping my lips. Dammit. They were helping. In their own fucked up way.

  "I love you too," I said to Jessa, and it was obvious from my voice I was calmer. "Thanks for reminding me that there's another way. There's always another way."

  In my younger years, during those times I couldn't get my emotions out, I’d tell her what I was feeling and she did the active expressions for me. If I was miserable, Jessa would cry, and if I was happy, she'd laugh and laugh. If I felt angry or frustrated, she'd curse the reason why as she kicked shit around screaming.

  I’d love her forever for what she did for me; Jessa got me through many hard times. Eventually I’d learned how to laugh and cry on my own. Guess this next step—a true mate bond—was just a natural progression in dealing with my emotions. I could no longer avoid the reality of having a true mate in my life.

  I didn’t even want to avoid it. I already felt like I was missing a fundamental part of myself.

  Releasing Jessa, I set her on her feet. "She's gone," I said softly, and my brothers moved even closer, so the five of us formed a tight group. "She just left and it's my fucking fault."

  Letting her go might have been the safest for her, but it wasn't the best. It didn’t feel right. Maybe it took her walking away for me to realize it, but I needed her with me so I could protect her.

  That was my fucking reason for existing.

  "Is she your true mate?" Tyson asked.

  "I don't know for sure," I said, meeting his probing gaze, "but all the evidence points to yes. Neither of us seem to be in the right mental space to test it out, but we keep dancing around it anyway, and it's making us miserable."

  Or at least I'd thought I was miserable, but now that she was actually gone, I truly understood the emotion. "I need to go after her," I decided. "She was super pissed, and I just let her leave. She told me she needed to learn about who she was before we could do anything, but we should be learning this shit together." My head swung back to Tyson. "Can Grace take me to the jeweled lands?"

  Jessa dropped her hand on my chest, and the fact that Braxton hadn't tried to kill me yet spoke of how much he trusted her … and loved me. I could feel through our bond that he wasn't even that upset. His brothers were the only supes he would tolerate being this close to his mate though.

  "I think you should give her time," Jessa told me. "I know I wouldn't normally say that, especially not with a potential true mate, but you both have shit to work out. She should have time with her parents, time to learn her true heritage. That's important and she might not focus on it if she's focusing on you. Not to mention you're in an ideal position to help us negotiate with the president."

  Jessa was giving me the facts, and she wasn't wrong, but something deep inside told me it was a terrible idea to not chase after Justice. Not to mention my dragon was beyond restless and would make life very hard for me if I didn't listen to instinct.

  "She'll be fine there, bro," Tyson said unhelpfully. My brother was a dense asshole at times. "Her parents have been dying to get to know her, and since she's royalty, the men aren't allowed to just come up and touch her and shit—"

  He was cut off by an explosion nearby. Fuckin' hell!

  I'd hurt the trees, something I'd tried so desperately not to do.

  "Maybe you should just stop talking now," Jessa suggested dryly, staring at Tyson.

  "Yep, probably for the best," he said, stepping back, hands held in the air. "Or the next fireball might be me."

  Jessa snorted, before trying to choke down her laughter as she side-eyed me. I shook my head a little calmer after releasing that energy. I sent soothing water across the trees, following it with healing energy as I apologized for my mistreatment.

  Their healing energy returned to me and I knew the balance remained okay.

  "I know what you need," Jessa whispered, her head jerked up. "We haven't done this in so long, but we all need it right now."

  Everyone turned to her with slightly confused expressions, except Braxton, who was in her head. "We need to go back to the house," she said in a rush.

  Everyone started to move except me. "I'll be there in a few minutes," I told her. "Gotta finish repairing the forest first."

  "Perfect!" she exclaimed, jumping up and smacking a kiss on my cheek. "We'll see you soon."

  Their energy lingered for many minutes after they were gone—powerful assholes. It was probably a miracle that we hadn’t turned into tyrannical fucks like the American president. Pretty sure it was Jessa keeping us in line all of these years. Not to mention the new members of our packs, the mates who were all strong and capable, smart and sassy, just like our Jess.

  All of them making sure we stayed grounded.

  Focusing on the trees, I made sure to use only positive energy to repair the damage I'd caused, the melody that I sang one of rejuvenation. When I was satisfied that I’d done everything I could, I made my way back to the house.

  I felt wrung out. My chest fucking hurt and I knew what was causing it: Justice. I'd just spent a month solid with her, every single day, and now she was gone. In my soul I knew that not going after her was a mistake, but another part of me heard what Jessa said. I didn’t want to push or crowd Justice … take away from her chance to learn about who she was.

  She already mistrusted men who hadn't respected her wishes and boundaries—men I was going to destroy when I found out their names. At least if I couldn’t be with her right now, I could do something productive with my time. Starting tomorrow, I was dealing with Justice's past, and hopefully
by the time she was done learning about who she was, I would have cleaned up the rest of the shit holding us back.

  Then we could decide once and for all what we wanted.

  The true mate bond was always going to push us together, that was inevitable, but we had free will, and we got to make the final decision.

  When I reached the house, it was oddly quiet. In a place this size with as many families living here as we had now, it was rarely silent. I felt the energy of them though, and I followed that through the main level and up the stairs. When I reached the room they were gathered in, my soul felt lighter.

  The door silently opened and I moved into the semi-dark room. The bed in here had been custom made so that ten to twelve people could fit on it. Right now there were four adults and three toddlers, all cuddled together, sleeping.

  Fuck.

  My chest tightened and I didn't even realize how badly I needed this until I crawled in on the side and snuggled Lily into me.

  "Uncwle Jakey," she said sleepily. The kids loved a good nap and could almost sleep on command now. Nice change from when they were babies—not gonna lie, for a short time there, their need to cry all night had me strongly considering just being the cool uncle forever.

  "Sleep, my baby girl," I told her, breathing in deeply, letting this energy relax me. I loved that they hadn't brought their mates in. Not today. It was just the way it used to be, plus our babies, and that was what I needed right now.

  Even if there was a spot right beside me that felt a little empty.

  14

  Justice Winter

  Connecting to my land was easy now; my power knew its home and wanted to be there. This time, though, there was a sense of heartache as I stepped away from Earth to Faerie. On Faerie I would be missing a person who had become a fundamental part of my life.

  But I wasn't going to dwell on it. I'd made a promise to embrace who I was, learn my powers and my past, and then be able to move forward into the future. If Jacob was part of that future, I'd find out when the timing was right. If there was one thing I'd learned, it was that I couldn't push things to happen before their time. No matter how much I wanted them.