by Vago Damitio
I prefer the single burner propane stove. One canister of propane is usually about $3 and the burner itself usually runs anywhere from $5 to $20.The canister lasts me a month or more cooking twice a day.
A simple home-made stove can be made by putting corrugated cardboard in a roll inside a tuna can and melting wax over it. This is the same as Sterno which will cost you about $1 a can. Not a very efficient way to cook, but it works.
For backpackers there are a variety of lightweight stoves that burn anything. They burn kerosene, propane, gasoline, or white gas. They cost from $60 and up and they aren’t very practical for car or boat living. I have one, but only use it for backpack camping and hiking.
Convenience Foods. As far as rough living goes, convenience foods aren’t’ very convenient. Microwavable foods are a pain in the ass and usually don’t’ taste very good. Of course, things like chips, crackers, and easy cheese can make a nice treat.
Thermos Cooking. There are a number of people out there that cook most of their meals in a thermos. What they do is bring water to a boil and pour it in a thermos with their noodles, rice, cereal, or what have you. Seal it up and let the boiling water cook whatever you have. Put a piece of fish in a plastic bag, put it in the thermos, pour hot water around it, seal up the bag with no air in it, seal up the thermos, wait a fifteen minutes and presto. Experiment with this or find some Youtube videos.
Foil cooking. This is one of my favorite ways to cook. It’s easy, it’s fast, and the cleanup is minimal. Basicly, you wrap what you want to cook in foil, toss it on the grill or coals, and wait for it to be done. You can make a frying pan by twisting a loop into a wire coat hanger and then filling the loop with foil and wrapping it around the edges.
Car Cooking- using the manifold. I had a step-father who used to use this method. Mom would cook up a mess of fried chicken and he would put it in a metal bucket, cover it with foil, and wire it to the manifold of his Bronco. Then we would go drive out in the woods to some remote lake, and have hot fried chicken waiting for us under the hood.
You can actually cook steak, potatoes, or just about anything else by wrapping it up in foil, putting it in a metal container, and wiring it to the manifold. You can put a can of Campbell’s soup on the engine and drive to the next rest area to have hot soup.
Because engine heat will vary, cooking time will vary. A shitty car can make a very hot stove.
Baking with a Tin Can. Some hobo friends taught me a simple way to bake using tin cans.
First take a large coffee can and cut a hole in one side. Placing it with the opening down on the coals, they continued to feed twigs and brush through the hole.
Next they took a cleaned out tuna can and filled it about half way with cake batter and placed it on top of three rocks on the tin can stove (this keeps the bottom from burning by allowing air to circulate under the can.) Then they covered the ‘cake’ with another can and fifteen minutes later they had a little cake.
I’ve used the same coffee can trick to fry up bacon and eggs.
Cooking with Fire.
The oldest method of cooking is using the fire. You use fire just like you would a stove. There are a few things to remember if you don’t want to burn your food though.
1) Coals cook more evenly than flames. If you are going to cook directly over the fire (no pot cooking) then cook over coals.
2) Hardwood coals are the best for no-pot cooking as some soft woods contain foul tasting smoke.
3) Never build your fire over tree roots. The fire can follow the roots and burn down a forest.
4) Build your fire at least 15 feet from any brush or trees
A Quick Guide to Building a Fire
1) Start by gathering all the materials you will need before you light the fire.
2) The base is something small and dry (known as tinder) such as shredded tree bark, shredded cardboard, paper, or steel wool. Have a good supply of twigs. A good place to get dry ones is right off of trees or bushes. If they make a distinct snap when you break them and they break clean they will probably work.
3) Place a few twigs on your tinder and light it. As the flame grows feed it more twigs and gradually work your way up to sticks, branches, and logs. The true key is to hold yourself back from piling everything on. Use patience. That’s it.
The Basics of Hawaiian Pit Cooking
Pit cooking can be a lot of work and is really only worth it if you are cooking an entire pig, deer, or other large amount of food. Hawaiians, Native Americans, and other tribal peoples use pit cooking for village celebrations.
1) Dig your pit about 2 feet deep by four feet around
2) Line the pit with rocks (Don’t use river rocks or other rocks that hold moisture as they might explode.)
3) Lay out your fire leaving an easy way to light it. This needs ot be a big fire with lots of wood. Pile lots of rocks in and on the fire pile.
4) Light it up and allow it to burn to coals. At this point you should have a pit filled with red hot rocks and coals.
5) Lay a pulpy type of leaves or grass over the top. Something that contains a lot of water so that it will not burn. (Bananna leaves are what they use in Hawaii)
6) Place your meat and vegetables over the pulpy material.
7) Cover the meat and vegetables with more pulpy material.
8) Place more rocks on the pulp.
9) Build another huge fire over the rocks and allow it to burn down.
10) Enjoy your day
11) Carefully excavate the pit and remove your delicious meal steamed by the water in the grass.
There are many ways to do this. This is one way I have learned.
Other Ways to Cook
Here are a few more interesting ways to cook without a kitchen.
1) You can cook eggs and bacon in paper bag by layering the bottom of the paper bag with bacon and then putting the eggs on top. Fold the bag over, poke a stick through it, and hold it over your heat source.
2) You can put hot rocks from your fire inside a chicken and then wrap it in foil. Put more hot rocks on the wrapped chicken. You can also cook eggs and other foods on flat rocks around your fire.
3) You can poke a green stick or a clean wire hanger through your food and cook it over flames or coals.
4) Cook eggs or meat inside an onion or orange then wrap in foil. You can also cook a cake inside an orange and you end up getting a nice ‘hint of orange’ taste.
5) Toast bread on white coals. Just lay the bread on the coals and allow it to toast. Then blow the ash off. This takes practice to get it perfect.
6) Fish with the skin on can be laid directly on white coals too.
7) A camp oven can be made with a smallish shoe box lined with tinfoil. Find another box that is a little bigger and place the smaller box inside (a box with a lid works well. Line it with foil too.) Line the empty space inside with newspaper or sawdust. When you are ready to cook something, simply put it in the small box, place the lid on the larger box and put it in the coals.
8) Use tin cans for cooking by layering your food in the following order in the can. Meat, vegetables, and seasoning. Cover it with foil and put it in the fire for 30 to 45 minutes.
Utensils. I keep it pretty simple on the utensils. I have a can opener, fork, knife, spoon, set of chopsticks, and a simple mess kit with a pot, pan, and plate. I use a lot of foil.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a good set of cooking gear though. One of my favorite things to cook with is a big cast iron frying pan. Lot’s of folks swear by Dutch ovens which are big cast iron pots with lids. Back when I used to carry a lot of stuff I used a hand mixer, spatula, and cheese grater a lot.
It all depends on what you want to make a priority. I can cook pretty much anything with what I have if I use my creativity to fill in the gaps.
Cleaning up. Not having a sink can be a bit of a pain but you can still keep your gear clean. I use a couple of simple methods to wash up.
1) I usually have a container of
liquid soap with me.
2) If water isn’t available, you can wipe the dishes clean with a rag
3) Sand and gravel work as natural abrasives
4) Vinegar in a burned or stained pan will usually work it loose
Keep it simple. The less you dirty, the less you have to clean.
MONEY
Money is great. Having a job usually sucks. There it is.
I’ve had lots of jobs, too many jobs. When I was in 4th grade I had a paper route, when I was 14 I got my first job at a restaurant as a dishwasher. Since then I’ve washed dishes, bussed tables, waitered, tended bar, cooked, and hosted in dozens of restaurants. I’ve dug ditches, built houses, painted houses, and cleaned all the stuff money can buy out of people’s garages. I’ve filed papers, ran meetings, cold called, door knocked, and answered phones. I’ve been a DJ and done craft services on a movie set. I’ve been a stand in, a radio producer, a band manager, and an air traffic controller. I’ve managed buildings, served as a Marine, and shoveled shit. I’ve tried to find “my calling” in so many different career paths that I’ve nearly run out of choices.
The problem with all of them is that I like my time. I was born with all of it, and I’ve never seen why I should give it to someone else unless it’s what I want to be doing with it. I’ve found jobs based around things I like doing. Things like skiing, kayaking, and hanging out in bars. The problem is, if somebody is paying me, my time quits being mine and becomes his or hers. Employment is a form of slavery. As soon as someone starts paying me for my time, I realize how much it’s worth to me. And the problem is, my time is worth a lot more than $20,000 dollars a year let alone $6.50 an hour.
Don’t get me wrong; I’ve had “good” jobs. Job’s where I was treated right, the pay was decent, and the “benefits” were comprehensive. I knew my time belonged to someone else and eventually I had to leave. Since I don’t know when I will die, it was unacceptable to give my time away. I’ve never had a wage-slave mentality. I refuse to get a minimum wage job at Wal-Mart. I’d rather eat cat food from dumpsters.
The guys at the top aren’t working. They encourage us to fill our houses, our garages, and our stomachs with things we never would have thought of were it not for their non-stop television, radio, and print campaigns. The advertising companies work for the factories that churn out more and more useless ‘necessities’ every day. They encourage us to consume, consume, consume and spend, spend, spend.
The bottom line is you gotta do what you gotta do to get the money to survive, but it’s foolish to do more than that. I’ve broken up concrete driveways for Irish Gypsies in England, moved tons of rocks in Hawaii, and taught conversational English to schoolchildren in Indonesia. Working while you are on the road is generally more fun than having a real job because you know you are going to be leaving. If having a career works for you, more power to you, but so far it hasn’t worked for me.
Getting a Phone, Physical Address, and E-Mail Address
If you want to get employment it is always helpful to have a phone number and address. Not only do they give potential employers a way to contact you, they also give your family and friends a way to contact you. Same goes for e-mail. If you don’t have e-mail yet (note: when I wrote this in 2001, email was still sort of optional. If you don’t have it today, you’re obviously making a technophobe statement — Good for you!), you’re missing out on a great way to keep in contact with the people you know and the people you meet. Most libraries offer free internet access, internet café’s are plentiful and cheap, and there are plenty of free e-mail options available.
These things are now essential if you are applying for any type of government benefits. Sometimes you can use a friend or relative’s street address, but there are other ways to get a physical address. When I moved from North Carolina to Washington State, I used some of my limited resources to get a post office box at a shipping supply store. The advantage of this over the Post Office is that you can use the physical address of the place on resumes and job applications. For a phone, I paid $30 to get a number at a message service.
Prepaid cell phones have made things even more cheap and convenient, so you cannot only get messages but also have a phone. My cell phone and 200 minutes of prepaid anytime use cost $138 at K-Mart. This includes voice mail. If I want to buy additional minutes I can buy 150 for about $40. (Note: I wrote this in 2002, today you can get a prepaid phone and minutes for as little as $10)
WiFi and Laptops
With my laptop I can find internet access pretty much anywhere. It’s called WiFi. Lot’s of business’s provide free wireless laptop access if you buy a cup of coffee. If you don’t want to buy a cup of coffee you can do what we old geeks used to call ‘war dialing’. You go to a neighborhood where someone might have a wireless network. There are commercial products you can use to find these ‘hotspots’ but what I do is put in my wireless card and drive around the rich neighborhoods slowly until I get a good signal. Then I pull over and surf the net in my van. (Note: Today you can find iPhone and Android apps for your phone that will find open WiFi signals.)
Who would of guessed the homeless would get internet from the rich for free?
Daily Labor
Daily labor is one way to get money in your pocket. The problem is that you need to get there early, the pay isn’t usually good, and the work usually sucks because often it is back breaking labor or monotonous factory work. I’ve used services like Labor Ready twice in my life because I can usually find a better way to spend my time and get what I need.
Under the Table (Risks and Benefits)
Working for anyone under the table is always a risky venture. You are putting trust in someone that you probably don’t know very well. The truth is, if they choose not to pay you or to short your pay there isn’t much you can do about it.
On the positive side, if you are getting paid under the table you aren’t paying taxes and your boss isn’t paying taxes so you are both making more than if you were legitimate. Personally, I like that none of the money goes to supporting wars, mono-cropping subsidies, auto bailouts, bank bailouts, or other programs I don’t agree with. (We can always anonymously donate to causes we do agree with.)
Farms
If you arrive at the right part of the year, you can almost always find farm work in exchange for food, shelter, or even cold, hard cash. Farm work isn’t easy. The hours are long, the work is usually dirty and labor intensive, and the pay is usually minimum wage or less. However, I have known people that had wonderful times picking apples in Washington State or Australia, pulling potatoes in Idaho, or working on organic farms in the Cascades and Kauai.
Gambling
Gambling is a good way to lose money. There’s a reason the casinos are so fancy. The reason is most people lose. I decide how much I can afford to lose, I stick to that, and every time I win anything in excess of my original amount I put it in my pocket. Once I lose the amount I planned on, I leave…usually. When I have continued in the hopes of ‘recouping’, I’ve almost always lost.
I don’t’ recommend gambling to anyone, but the combination of unemployment checks and casino winnings took me on a four month journey through China, Laos, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, and Taiwan. Sometimes it works out…but only if you’re lucky.
Legitimate Work aka Wage Slavery
I hate legitimate work. It’s a strong statement and a true one. I hate it. At this moment, as I write this I am struggling over whether to re-enter the work force. I’m broke and it sucks. I’d like to be traveling or drinking with some fancy woman. Unfortunately, I hate working for some jackass that makes more money off the work I do than I do. So I probably won’t do it.
It’s a periodic struggle and I’ve fallen prey to it before and certainly will again. I did the stockbroker thing, the restaurant thing, the construction thing. It all sucks. The last legitimate job I had (when writing this in 2003) was trying to book people into timeshare presentations in Waikiki. It was so gross. I had t
o walk up on people trying to enjoy their vacations and sucker them into going to a timeshare presentation. I sometimes wanted to murder these nice people because they would put up their hand in the “”talk to the hand” gesture. I wanted to scream at them that I was a nice guy only trying to make a living but knew that wouldn’t earn me any commission. So I did the right thing. I quit.
After that, I began to take periodic work as a production assistant on films on Oahu. I don’t consider that real work. The pay was roughly $100 a day. The work was easy. The people were generally cool to work with. It was a good gig. The problem was I averaged four days of work a month.
Enough of my work problems though…you want to know how to get some cash…
Creating a Resume. Despite my lack of money, I know how to get a job. The first step is to have a dynamic resume. Put your name in bold letters across the top. Put the address where you can get your mail. Put your cell number and email address. Then make up whatever they want to hear.
Read the ad, look at what they are asking for, and then figure out how to change your experience so you are exactly what they want.
Here’s an example for you… I saw this ad in the Honolulu Advertiser when I got back from the Philippines with almost no money and was couch surfing at a friend’s house.
Assistant manager wanted at upscale Waikiki Restaurant. At least two years of restaurant Management experience required. Strong references.
I needed a job, so I made a resume that said I had worked at four restaurants on the mainland during the past ten years. Even though I hadn’t.