Remember Tomorrow

by Gabrielle Goldsby

  That something felt as tangible as a brick wall, but she couldn’t see it. Arie closed her eyes and stilled her body willing herself into the oblivion of sleep where she would hopefully Þ nd the thing she wanted most, but didn’t remember at all.

  • 126 •

  REMEMBER TOMORROW

  CHAPTER NINE

  Five a.m. came too quickly for Cees, and the fact that she had to try to sleep with the memories of Arie lying on top of her again made the night sheer hell.

  The scent of eggs and coffee made her Þ nally sit up. Cees remembered the careful way Arie moved sometimes and the way she had laid on top of her last night, injuries be damned. Cees ß ushed from equal parts embarrassment and renewed arousal.

  She had told herself she would be content with just holding Arie; the feel of her skin beneath her Þ ngertips. But the slight hitch in Arie’s breathing told Cees what Arie wanted, even more than a gently pleading hand moving her own into the right place would have. Cees had stayed in bed with Arie for as long as her willpower would let her before escaping to the other bedroom.

  Over the last year and a half she had forgotten about this particular effect that Arieanna had on her—this constant state of waiting to be touched by her. Cees thought about going out front to say good morning and instead went into the bathroom.

  She washed quickly, pausing brieß y at her stomach. One day, hopefully soon, it wouldn’t be so ß at. Miranda wouldn’t notice the weight gain at Þ rst, especially now that they weren’t sleeping together, but she wouldn’t be able to hide from the camera. There would come a day when she would get that talking-to about

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  GABRIELLE GOLDSBY

  keeping her weight within the Þ ve-pound guidelines as stipulated by her contract.

  Cees turned off the water and grabbed a stale-smelling towel from the rack. She needed to go out front or risk being late for work. She found Arie in the kitchen dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, her feet bare. Cees was able to watch her for a moment noticing that she was moving Þ ne, no residual effects from last night.

  “Morning,” she said softly. Arie jumped before turning around. Cees noticed that her jeans were hanging low on her hips and the Þ tted Prana shirt didn’t Þ t as well as it would have in the past. It was no surprise that Arie had lost weight while in the hospital, but the fact that she looked so frail made Cees feel protective.

  “Morning.” Arie took a step toward her, looked uncertain, and stopped. Cees couldn’t blame her. What the hell had happened?

  How had they gone from still trying to get to know each other to her forgetting that this Arie would be frightened of her passion?

  “I need to explain. About what happened last night.”

  “Don’t say you’re sorry,” Arie said, and Cees saw a strange look cross her face as she turned back to the stove.

  “I wasn’t going to.” Cees could tell by the look on Arie’s face that she didn’t believe her.

  “I like to cook, don’t I?”

  “Yes, you remember that?”

  “Some things I remember and some things I don’t,” Arie said as she moved the pan from the stove and began looking through the cabinets.

  “Next one over,” Cees offered.

  Arie thanked her without looking back. Cees watched her Tshirt rise as she reached for the plates, brieß y revealing her back.

  Cees’s hands itched to touch the skin there.

  “It’s like I know how to do things,” Arie was saying, “but I don’t remember what you like, so I’m not sure if…if I’m doing it right. It’s just a dark void.”

  • 128 •

  REMEMBER TOMORROW

  When it Þ nally occurred to Cees what Arie was saying, she yearned to Þ x the tension clearly written on Arie’s face.

  “Arie, you did Þ ne. Better than I did.”

  “I don’t remember ever making love with you.” The words came out in a rush.

  Of course she wouldn’t remember making love to her. Why would she forget almost everything about their relationship and yet hold on to that one piece of information? Cees tried to think rationally, but her chest felt like someone had slammed a plank against it.

  “I know. I should have remembered that last night. But I wasn’t thinking right,” Cees said.

  “Neither was I at Þ rst, and then I needed—”

  “Instructions?” Cees asked and smiled in case Arie thought she was insulting her.

  Arie smiled back. “Yeah. Instructions would have been good.”

  Cees took the plates from her, letting her eyes linger on Arie’s. “You don’t need instructions.”

  Arie looked surprised and then embarrassed, and Cees realized she should probably change the subject real fast before Arie ran screaming into the early morning darkness. “How do you feel about coming to work with me today?” she asked.

  “Is that okay? Do you have to ask anyone?”

  Cees smiled, almost told her that she would be welcomed on the set like a long-lost sibling, and decided against it. “It’ll be Þ ne. I’m the talent, remember? I can bring anyone I want.”

  Not exactly true, but showing off in front of one’s girlfriend was allowed. Girlfriend. Girlfriend? No, no, Cees Bannigan. Do not go there. But even though she told herself that, smiled, and ate what Arie cooked, later, she wouldn’t be able to remember what words were spoken or what the food tasted like.

  What she could remember was the way Arie’s eyes held hers. The way those same eyes focused on her hands while she

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  GABRIELLE GOLDSBY

  cut into her food, followed the food to her mouth, and lingered on her lips when she drank from her water glass. Arie was the one who didn’t remember how to make love; she was the innocent.

  But Cees was the one who couldn’t meet those candidly curious eyes. She was the one who was afraid that Arie would see the truth, that she still wanted Arieanna Simon to distraction.

  v

  Cees knew she was prattling when she started explaining the history of the steel bridge to Arie. Information she hadn’t even realized she had retained until she heard herself spewing out the dates the bridge had been built and the number of men who had worked on it. The drive to the studio took Þ fteen minutes, but Arie said very little, telegraphing her nervousness with her monosyllabic answers and the tense way she sat. They turned into a gate and a security guard stepped out to check Cees’s badge despite the fact that the gate was already sliding back. “Hey, Barron, Arieanna here is visiting the set today.” The security guard squatted and peered into the truck. Recognition followed by a grin spread across Barron’s face as he caught site of Arie.

  “Arieanna Simon! I remember you. It’s good to see you again. Hang on, I’ll get you a visitor’s badge.” He ran into the guard post and was back with a clipboard and the badge. Cees signed Arie in and took the badge from the board.

  “How’s everything at home?” Cees asked in the hopes of dissuading Barron from asking Arie where she had been.

  “Good, Þ rst one is going to UCSB next year, and the second will be going in two years. Hopefully on a lacrosse scholarship, but if not, I’ll Þ nd a way.” Barron grinned. The astronomical costs associated with having two children in college at the same time did not blight his pride in his children. Cees grinned back.

  Someday she hoped to have those concerns.

  “Thank you.” The voice was soft and shy, and Cees turned

  • 130 •

  REMEMBER TOMORROW

  to see Arie offering Barron a tentative smile. Barron looked surprised, but he smiled back and waved at her as he walked back into the guard post.

  Cees parked the monster in its normal spot and turned the truck off. “Let’s get inside. I’ll show you where everything is before I have to get to work.” Cees led her into the building and up to her ofÞ ce. Thankfully, they didn’t see anyone who would have remembered Arie from her short stint with the show.

  Cees enjoyed sho
wing Arie her ofÞ ce and the lounge with its two TVs that showed the active Þ lming out on one and normal satellite broadcast on the other. “If you get tired of watching up front, you can go to my ofÞ ce or here.” Arie had her hands shoved in the pockets of her jacket. “So this is the set. We’re doing a bathroom remodel. All of our projects are geared toward the single woman.” Cees pointed to the large tub and the sink with no faucet as well as the ß oors with no heat.

  “I guess she’s a single rich woman,” Arie said. Relief and the fact that Arie had managed to mirror one of the few criticisms of her show, that many single woman couldn’t afford or had no time for the projects they suggested, struck Cees as funny. Arie started to laugh as well. “I don’t even know why I just said that.”

  “What’s all that ruckus about?” The voice was loud and more bark than bite. Cees knew it, but Arie didn’t. The look of consternation on her face turned to fear as Philly Panadara came barreling around the corner, took one look at Arie, and picked up his speed.

  Cees knew what would happen and intervened before she had to call off today’s shoot in order to take Arie back to the hospital. She stepped in front of Arie and put her hands out to stop Philly’s forward momentum. “Hang on, hang on, big guy.

  As much as we all love your bear hugs, Arie just got out of the hospital. One of those wouldn’t do us much good in keeping her out of there for a few more days.”

  Philly’s big face cracked into a smile. “Aww, come on. I

  • 131 •

  GABRIELLE GOLDSBY

  never hurt y’all.” Cees smiled. He was right; he never had. But recipients of his hugs were usually picked up and held in a tight clasp against his chest. Cees wasn’t sure how Arie would feel about being held like that by a stranger.

  “Arieanna, where you been? Love the way you kept in touch.

  Cees here used to keep us up to speed, but that well dried up.”

  When his expression changed, Cees hoped Arie didn’t notice. It wouldn’t have taken a rocket scientist to notice that Cees had been going through the motions of working after Arie broke things off. She had smiled too little, begged off too many after-work gatherings, had retreated to her rarely used ofÞ ce too many times.

  “Uh, Philly, Arie’s been—”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch, Philly.”

  Cees glanced at Arie from the corner of her eye. It was a lot to explain, and if Arie didn’t want people to know she didn’t remember them, she would comply with that.

  “I thought you looked a little pale and skinny. Both of you need to come over for some of Heidi’s cooking.” Heidi was Philly’s partner of fourteen years, and Cees had had many a meal with the couple when her father was at his worst. In fact, if not for them and the Nguyen family, Cees would have gladly survived on dehydrated noodles.

  “We’ll come by soon. I promise.” Realizing she had just made plans for Arie, as if they were a couple and without asking her Þ rst, she turned to Arie to make sure. If Philly noticed that Arie was more reserved than he remembered, he didn’t let on.

  Cees heard voices, recognizing them as Vance, her untalented co-host, and Thomas. She turned to warn Arie that although she had been long gone when Vance started, Thomas would expect her to remember him. Her phone rang and a quick glance at the screen told her it was Momma Nguyen. Cees frowned. Momma Nguyen only called her at work if something was wrong. She was notorious for calling at all hours of the night and morning

  • 132 •

  REMEMBER TOMORROW

  and was fond of telling anyone who would listen that her children caused her lost sleep, so it was her right to wake them up. She included Cees in that statement.

  “Arie, I need to take this. That’s Thomas Youngblood coming. You worked together. He took over when you left. He’ll be happy to see you. The guy with the curly hair and the green eyes is Vance Flowers. You don’t know him and you don’t want to.”

  “Okay.”

  Cees stepped away from Arie, feeling bad for leaving her to fend for herself. She answered the phone, making sure to watch Arie. If she sensed that she was getting too uncomfortable, she would hang up and deal with the ramiÞ cations later.

  “Momma Nguyen?” Cees said.

  “What you do to my baby?” Cees winced. Momma Nguyen preferred to get right to the point. She never said hello or good-bye. She just launched right into the conversation, and when her point was made she hung up.

  “What did Lilly say?” Cees asked cautiously, feeling a pool of dread forming in her stomach as she watched her beard appear around the corner. She was too far away to see his eyes, but she knew they lit up when they saw Arie. Her jaw clenched.

  “She said you let that skank shack up with you.”

  “Momma, Lilly has no right to talk about Arieanna like that.

  She barely even knows her.”

  “Why can’t you just play the Þ eld like Lilly? Want me to tell her to show you how?” Cees threw all her annoyance into a scowl that she directed at Vance as he approached Arie, walking for all the world like he had stashed several tools in the front of his pants. Cees had seen the strut on two other occasions, and each time it had made her laugh. This time it made her want to kick him in his tool stash, three, maybe four times.

  “You sleep with her?”

  The question caught Cees by surprise, and she turned away

  • 133 •

  GABRIELLE GOLDSBY

  from the scene brieß y to get her thoughts together. “Momma, I can’t talk to you about my sex life.”

  “Why not? Lilly does.”

  “Lilly needs to learn what’s appropriate and what isn’t.

  That’s why she’s on my sh…on my bad list now.”

  “You leave my baby alone. She’s just scared for you. You’re kind of stupid about love.”

  “I am not. I wish you would stop saying that.” Cees looked back to see Vance leaning closer to Arie. She started walking toward the two when a shocked look came over his face. Thomas laughed and said something that didn’t relieve the situation, but he allowed Thomas to pull him away from Arie.

  “You okay?” Cees mouthed. Arie held up her hand and shrugged, but there was something in the way she did it that reminded Cees of a time when Arie wasn’t scared and confused and would often take it upon herself to pull some kind of a trick on Cees. Yelling followed by making up in the form of lovemaking was the rule on those occasions. The teasing smile on Arie’s face reminded Cees of those wonderful days, and it hurt like hell. Cees turned her back on that smile and sighed.

  “No, I have not had sex with her!” she hissed into the phone.

  “Oh.” The line grew quiet. “Well, my ß ower is still upset.”

  “Look, Momma, Lilly is my friend, but I’m an adult. I don’t have to go to her for approval on everything I do.”

  “So you hurt Lilly to shack up with someone who hurt you?”

  When she put it like that, it did sound kind of different.

  “Momma, Arie used to be my lover. Now she needs my help.”

  “You love Lilly.”

  “Yes, but Lilly isn’t my lover.”

  “I know. I’m not the stupid one. I mean you love her too.”

  Cees closed her eyes. “What I’m trying to say is that Arie

  • 134 •

  REMEMBER TOMORROW

  wasn’t just my friend. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.”

  “Don’t forget about Lilly. She’s already been there for half.”

  Like always, Momma’s point struck center. “How mad is she?”

  “Pretty mad. Scared you’re going to get hurt like last time.”

  Cees turned and watched Arie walk through the set looking at the Þ xtures, turning on the cold water at the sink and smiling when nothing came out. She wanted to tell Momma that she was scared too. But she couldn’t, because that would just get another stupid label.

  Arie moved differently now, cautious and slow, but when she
reached out to touch something it was as if she did so with reverence. Cees had noticed that when Arie had touched her before. “It’s just for a few weeks.”

  “Why can’t she stay at her own place? She get evicted?”

  “What? No. Did Lilly tell you that? She just got out of the hospital.”

  “Lilly didn’t tell me that part.”

  “Of course she didn’t. Momma, I’ll have to explain later.

  Arie is here with me.”

  “She’s right there?”

  “Yeah, I had to bring her to work because the doctor says she shouldn’t be left alone.”

  “Oh, that’s not good. Flower didn’t tell me that part either.”

  “She didn’t stick around long enough for me to tell her.”

  “Why doesn’t her family help?”

  “She doesn’t have anyone.”

  “Oh.” Cees could practically hear Momma’s heart melt through the phone. She would run interference with Lilly. Momma was a sucker for stray animals, the homeless, and motherless children. She would take to Arie like she had taken to Cees.

  “Okay. Momma will help.”

  • 135 •

  GABRIELLE GOLDSBY

  “Oh, thank you.” Although Cees would still have to be careful. Lilly wouldn’t dare go against Momma’s wishes, at least not openly. Cees turned around to look for Arie just in time to see Miranda walk around the corner. Cees could have scripted Miranda’s reaction to Arie—the wide smile, and she would use both hands to shake Arie’s. Cees almost growled when she couldn’t see what they were saying to each other.

  “What time you have to be at work tomorrow?”

  Cees almost forgot to answer the question when both women turned simultaneously to look in her direction.

  “Six, same as always.” Cees smiled and waved, but only Miranda waved back. Miranda had never met Arie, but it wouldn’t take her long to connect the dots.

  “Okay, I’ll be there at Þ ve Þ fteen tomorrow.”